We all know what it's like not having friends. A lot of us tend to get busy in our lives. For most, learning to keep friends around isn't a priority. No matter the reason you are here for a reason: you have no friends or feel like you don't have any.
So, let's start out by analyzing what it means to not have friends.
Be honest about who you are when you have no friends.
So, what do we do when we have no friends? First, be honest about who you are. There’s no reason to hide your personality or your interests. Let your person come out naturally and without impeding the process.
People love getting to know each other. To build friends, you need to learn to understand that being honest about who you are is the majority of the battle. Nobody likes to be around a liar.
Everything takes time. It’s a good idea to give the interactions and friendship a good head starts by being honest about who you are.
Open your mind when you have no friends.
When we have no friends, it’s sometimes prevalent to keep a closed mind. This is due to the fact that you stop associating with friends. Thus, you feel like you don’t need to share your thoughts and feelings. Most of the time, this also means not being open minded about trying new things or having fun.
If we learn to open our minds, good things happen. In this case, it will allow friendships to flourish, as you’re not the one person that doesn’t want to get anything done or try new things.
Open your mind. You won’t regret it.
Talk to people when you have no friends.
Honestly one of the simplest in concept but hardest to pull off for a lot of people (me, too). You see someone ahead of you and you want to say something. It’s tough getting to the point where you can talk to just about anyone you encounter.
You need to talk to people in order to make friends. If you don’t, how’s it going to work? How are they going to get to know you? How will they know how cool you are? None of this happens if you don’t open up about yourself.
Find people who share your interests when you have no friends
If you like bar hopping, this is a wonderful way to get to know people and simply start talking to people. Although results may vary, it’s one of the most popular ways to talk to people for a reason
If you prefer heading to a library setting, this is not a bad place to talk to people as well. Perhaps someone is reading an interesting book and you wish to see if personalities click.
No matter where you’re going, look for people wherever you are associating. The trick here is to try to talk to people that are doing what you would do. This is how you find like-minded people. Try to go to a setting that you don’t normally go to, and you will find people that opposite of you. Note, opposites do attract, however. It’s never necessarily a bad thing.
Volunteer when you have no friends.
Sometimes, you need to do something a little more subtle for yourself. When you’re volunteering, it’s easy to meet new people. After all, there’s no stress of work or money. You’re doing something because of a local need or towards a common interest, like getting cats and dogs off of the street. Or, helping groom them.
Finding friends in volunteer settings is as easy as a hello. Although age groups may vary, when you have no friends, there’s nothing to lose here.
Manage social anxiety when you have no friends.
Social anxiety is a prevalent buzz kill. It gets to us when we least expect it. Or, according to the definition of social anxiety, it may cause us to expect things too soon and avoid situations due to those expectations.
It’s important to not let social anxiety stop you from having friends. When you have no friends, you need all of the support you can get. Having your own feelings, thoughts, and perceptions get in the way is not how you want to go about your life.
Me, personally, I would suffer from social anxiety all of the time. I needed to escape situations a lot because of some deep inner feelings that I have. What ended up helping is getting to know more people and learning that people aren’t bad. I taught myself by doing. I made a lot of friends and met a lot of people I never thought I’d meet.
Do not let social anxiety control your life. It already controls a lot of people’s lives. Don’t let your person be next.
Don’t fear rejection when you have no friends.
Not everyone is going to like you. That’s simply a law of life.
Don’t fear rejection when you’re trying to make friends. Rather, learn to accept that not everyone is going to be interested in your presence.
Learn to move forward and keep trying. For every 100 interactions, expect 1 to succeed. Learn to have more reasonable expectations towards a minimum rather than having a maximum expectation. Maximum expectations cause us to become frustrated because if you speak to 10 people in a day, you’ll be shocked that none of them want to be friends. Rather, learn to have minimum expectations. That way, you’re not later bothered about something.
Make more friends when you have no friends
Lastly, the most crucial step. Don’t stop making friends. Think of a river. If you continue to make friends, you’ll constantly have a flow of friendships coming in. In the case some friends decide to drop out of your life, you have more coming in.
I personally make friends all of the time through a variety of sources. Whether it’s friends of friends, online, at the coffee shop, or at my work setting. I am always chatting with new people.
If you continue to make friends, regardless of how satisfied you are with your current life, you’ll notice you have so many friends you don’t know what to do with them! That’s the goal here. You want to keep an abundance of people around you, so you have the better end of the stick. I guarantee you, these new friends of yours are perhaps doing the same exact thing anyways.
When you have no friends: conclusion
Hey, you made it to the bottom. When you have no friends, you may also consider yourself at the bottom. And that's ok.
The most important realization to take home is there's always room for improvements. Improve who you are, how you feel, and get enough exercise to keep your mental state sharp.
Don't stop making friends because you're satisfied with your life. Continue fighting social anxiety and don't be afraid of rejection. Learn to be yourself and be honest. Don't lie. When you have no friends, do all of this. You'll have friends soon.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2022 Ferny Vise