Skip to main content

What Makes a Man Leave His Wife For Another Woman?

Mama Nkima is a spiritual guide, she teaches and guide about relationships. she also learns a lot of relationship issues from her clients.

Man walking away

Man walking away

Have you ever asked yourself why a man could ever leave his wife?

Have you ever wondered if this could happen to you?

Do you wonder whether your own man could wake up one day and throw it all away?

Are you looking for ways to avoid this calamity from ever befalling you?

If so, grab your tea, we need to talk.

Men come in all shapes, styles, and sizes. We love them, then we hate them, then we love some more and then hate them even more, it never ends. Crazy, Isn’t it.

Yet no woman want a life without them.

They are our fathers, brothers, uncles, first loves, lovers, husbands, and did I mention devil incarnates all at once.

I know you know what am saying. But this isn’t one of those long rants about how men have so graciously plagued our memories with heartache? Lets cut to the chase.

I was told marriage was a beautiful phase of life

Growing up I was told marriage was beautiful cycle of life, i was told all daisies and sunsets, are never-ending fair day. Holy heaven..

I believed it until my own uncle said he wanted out. He said he couldn’t stand to live a day with his once bone of his bone.

Quickly my uncle's story became my neighbor's story. It then became my teacher's story. Different faces, different stories but one end, they all wanted out.

My little paradise was a lie. It’s all a lie until you stare first-hand the devil in the face.

Why men leave all these amazing women?

Why are all these men leaving all these amazing women and the little bundles of joy; their children?

Despite many men not wanting to leave their children, there happens to nu-stomachable issues in their marriage that no amount of love for their children can stop them.

Consequently millions of children sadly have to grow up without a father. No wonder male barbarism is the order of the day.

The most obvious cause of separation of married couples is infidelity, 15% of all married men and women cheat and this rate of cheating increases as we age with most unfaithful partners reporting affairs between their 60s and 70s.

Surprisingly, 31% of married partners are willing to stay together and work things out even after the affair!

Scroll to Continue

Ask 88% of divorced couples and they’ll tell you how affairs broke their marriages.

Even though affairs end a considerable number of marriages, only a small fraction of men who cheated leave their marriages for the mistress. It is therefore crucial to realize that not every separated man left his wife for the other woman.

Here are some reasons why most men leave their wives for the other woman.

Man leaving his wife

Man leaving his wife

7 Reasons why men leave their wives

1. The Sex is dull or non-existent

Lack-lustered sex life will affect the intimacy and cause sexual dissatisfaction in the marriage. This issue is single-handedly the leading cause of infidelity. As the saying goes “If he isn’t getting some here his getting some elsewhere” and quite frankly I can’t blame him.

After all, a cherry a day keeps the man a bay. In a sexless marriage, you’re setting each other for failure because all these other girls can smell a sexually starved married man miles away. Hell knows they’d burn the sun down to get him hooked.


2. They settled too early

They say marry the one who loves you not the one you love but what happens when you meet the one you love later? Dilemma!

I know you could learn to love someone but I can't count how many times I have had a guy I say “I wish I had her before!” or “If only I’d known her before”.

I am not in anyway, saying you can’t get it right the first time or endorsing late marriages. Let’s face it, sometimes we wish life came with a backspace button!


3. Money and financial views

According to the New York Times as of April 6, 2020, domestic violence hotlines are lighting up with abuse reports.

Guess what else has happened this quarantine? financial strain. There is a direct link between money disagreements and violence no wonder more people are filing for divorce every other day.

Quarantine has only catalyzed the separation. Money is very important in any relationship and any couple with contrasting views on its management will hardly survive.


4. He feels that his marriage is irremediable

Why would anyone keep flogging a dead horse? For some of these men, their marriage experiences have been so bitter that they can’t see any good worth saving.

They have somewhat given up and stopped trying. It doesn’t mean they’re bad people but sometimes two good things just not good together.


5. He and his wife have grown apart

Change is a factor of life, we all change, we’ve all changed in many ways. This can be and unsettling for a couple especially if they aren’t growing together at the same pace and time.

They will inevitably be out of sync. I know opposites attract but sameness is the glue that keeps marriages together. What is attraction if you can’t stay together?

Also as children come into the picture and the mother switch is turned on, many feel left out and somewhat ignored. With time these feelings will grow into full-blown resentment.


6. He feels inadequate and unappreciated

Many women lately are career-oriented and are out there winning. For men, it is becoming harder and harder to keep up with all this girl power which lives them feeling inadequate and unappreciated.

Girls can now get all the material stuff they want for themselves. Since men feel no amount of effort on their part can make up for this discrepancy, they go for the other woman who is usually less mature financially dependent on him.

Guys relish in that glory, you know?


7. Midlife crisis

Midlife crisis is a time of emotional turmoil and distress for many men. Most of the men at this time make rash decisions most of which they’ll regret later anyway.

Coupled with the identity crisis many are become excited by the energy rush from being with younger/other women.

If this behavior isn’t checked, the lust will take over and drive this man away from his wife to the arms of the other girl.

We are all good people but pushed into a corner we might let the inner beast out. No man I believe sets out with the intention of failing his woman but in the face distress, logic fails.

Are you the kind of wife most men are likely to leave?

In a season where marriages are breaking left, right and center, it may be comforting to assume that it’s a general problem.

Could it be that there’s a pattern? Is it possible that some women are more likely to be left by their men?

As a matter of fact, yes! I believe that certain traits may make a girl more unlikely to keep a man.

And unlike a bad attitude, many of these attributes may go unnotice until marriage vows. Here are signs that you could the kind of wife most men are likely to leave.

1. The mothering type

She is the wife that likes to hunt down the good in her man.

I know it sounds like that’s a good thing but it’s her very concern to nurture her man’s potential that makes her ruthless and often leaves her feeling bitter.

A man can only take so much support until it feels like she is pushy.


2. The “I love my children above all” type

She is the attentive mother, a little too attentive to notice that is all she talks and breathes.

Again this splendid but we live in a multidimensional world. If all you care about is one thing then you’ll mishandle others.


3. The “you’re my world, my life and my all” type

She has no life apart from him. Only a narcissist can live with that much attention. Every healthy person needs some space. He needs to know that while he is out there living she isn’t there waiting for him but also living her life.


4. The “inner beauty warrior” type

She forgets to look good as well. Men a visual, and if he doesn’t like the exterior, chances are the interior won’t make much difference.

Many ladies honestly stop trying. I understand that baby fat can be stubborn but baby girl, don’t forget that Tiffany who has just had her fourth baby could probably still fit in at prom.

Sadly there are too many Tiffanys out here. So you either step up or lose him.


5. The “my friends are my life”, type

You marry her you marry her friends. War on the man if her friends don’t like him. Friends are good but at the end of the day, your man and marriage shouldn’t be on your friends’ terms. No!


6. The “it’s not even sex day ” type

Well, unless sex day is any day I don’t think having a sex day is helping anyone here.


7. The “daddy’s girl now all grownup” type

We get it your daddy can kill a bear bare-handed. It doesn’t matter how awesome or great her husband is, her daddy will always be the best in her eyes. I know it’s not a tournament but it’s not right to ever allow your spouse to view anything with your parents. It’s absurd.

At the end of the day, all women mean the best for their men. The intentions are pure. If only she could balance, mother just enough not smother, prioritize her man but still have life or be just as beautiful on the outside as on the inside, how much better would the world be?

Signs man wants to leave his wife

Signs man wants to leave his wife

10 Signs your man is planning to leave you

You’d expect that a man would be upfront and tell you when he is getting weary of your relationship to save everyone a painful drugged-out breakup! Right?

In the real world it’s not always this easy at all especially when you have been together for a lifetime and a lot is steak.

It is extremely difficult even when it’s all spiraling down and sparks long dead and buried.

Here are some signs that your man has signed out or he’s considering it seriously but just he’s waiting for the perfect time to drop the bomb and crush your world.

1. Something doesn’t feel right

If something doesn’t feel right then something isn’t right. People change, yes, but if he loved you yesterday, keeping all other factors constant he’ll love you today. if something feels off, then something probably is. Trust your gut.


2. You’re always the last to know.

Yeah, that new job you found out about yesterday, he’s already been working there for three months and you are just getting to know about it.

You used to be the most important person in his life but lately, he’s keeping you out of major decisions. Something is up!


3. The sex is different.

You can tell so much from your sexual life. You pick hints of your partner’s emotions. If his he’s been distant lately it’s probably because he has emotionally already left you. You just don’t know it yet


4. You are suddenly his least favorite party partner

We don’t change overnight, if he always wanted to take you places and now you don't get anywhere close to his party or leisure list? something is up.

Unless you are fighting or he’s generally busy if he’s enjoying other people’s company more than yours, he just can’t wait to get the door and leave.


5. Every conversation feels like an argument or ends in one

It’s like he is always ready to pick a fight. Lately, he has been like a volcano waiting to erupt so you are treading on eggshells. That anger is a little too disproportionate and misplaced don’t you think?


6. His eyes have been wondering a little too often than usual.

He seems to notice other women a lot. Your guy always seemed to be respectful of your feelings around other women, but now it’s like he can’t keep his eyes off the other girls. He isn’t necessarily being disrespectful, in his mind, he is seriously considering them. Its just only you can’t read minds!


7. All over sudden, he can’t stand imperfections

He is very irritable and volatile. Even things he didn’t mind before suddenly seem to matter more than global warming. He used to like that mole but lately, he doesn’t miss a chance to scream how much he hates it!


8. He’s slowly ghosting out, he is slowly reducing time with you

I don’t know whether he is slowly initiating into his absence but when you start seeing less and less of him for no apparent reason if he could have it his way he’d vanish into thin air.


9. Lately, he’s been talking of a future that doesn't include you

Subconsciously he has moved on and when he speaks of a future without you, he is not trying to spite you, he honestly doesn’t see a future with you.


10. It feels like he just caught the commitment phobia last week

Your man used to make plans but now he doesn’t want to commit to anything.

All in all, it would save the world a ton of heartaches and confusion if the men didn’t drag out these breakups. It doesn’t help anyone to delay the inevitable.

Couple dealing with issues

Couple dealing with issues

8 step by step guide to stop him from leaving you

It can be very frustrating when your partner breaks things off when you are still invested. Especially after you have put in effort trying to keep the relationship from falling apart.

It can feel like your world is sinking with it. Below is a step by step process you should apply to try and salvage the situation before it’s too late.


Step 1 Woman up and get ready to fight for your man

I don’t mean start fist fighting, but rather this is the time to get in the right frame of mind. Try to stop the pity party and mopping around. This is the time to get ready to embark on this journey.


Step 2 Try to rationalize and analyze the situation.

As much as possible not to play the victim because this will only cause resentment and bitterness.

Try to understand where he is coming from, empathy is an important tool that helps us to see the world through the other person’s lenses.

It might sound cliché but try as much as possible to put yourself in their shoes. It might be painful for now but it will help you to see where they are coming from.


Step 3 Actively listen

Many times we are so in our heads we don’t truly listen. Because of this, we miss the unspoken hints which are what truly matter. We don’t always say what we mean but the body doesn’t lie. The eyes will give you a clue that the lips won’t utter.


Step 4 Openly and respectfully communicate your feelings after carefully considering his

After rationally analyzing the situation and then actively listening, you realize things you never did before. The silent fits of anger build into resentment and hatred are now in a better frame of mind to communicate your feelings with him because you better understand where he is coming from. This can make all the difference in the world.


Step 5 Make changes and adjustments in your power

Be intentional about rebuilding your block by block. Apologize for the pain you have causes and forgive him for all the hurt he has caused you. Address any other changes you can make for the greater good. Be careful though, only compromise when he is willing to meet you the middle. You need to build with him at this stage.


Step 6 Be the best version of yourself and start to love yourself again

Don’t be too engrossed in fixing your marriage that you forget yourself. Pamper yourself, whatever it takes to make you that happy place. Enjoy yourself, have fun, and be happy. You deserve it.


Step 7 Relax and trust the process

I know that in case he hasn’t come around at this stage you will be worried, I need you to try to relax and realize that worrying doesn’t do anything for you other than wrinkle your pretty face.


Step 8 Watch him fall in love with you all over again

Eventually, he’ll come around but even if he chooses to stay away I assure you, you are in a much healthier frame of mind and it shouldn’t be long before another prince comes along and sweeps you off your feet. Only if you are interested of course.

Conclusion

I hope you never lose faith in love irrespective of circumstance because, in the end, it gets better.

At times, some things are not worth the salvaging and by all that’s holy, I hope your marriage isn’t one of these. Some things are like broken glass, the longer you hold on the more you bleed. If he still wants to leave even after these steps, NO there’s nothing wrong with you. However, they always come back. They always do.

The bottom line is as humans we tend to be irrational at times. Many men however don’t wake up and leave their wives overnight. If he leaves, it’s been a long time coming and part of him knows he might regret it. The grass just tends to look greener on the other side. Most often than not it’s just an illusion.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2020 Mama Nkima

Related Articles