Sometimes it can be hard making friends. You start off when you are young inviting the whole class to your birthday party. You learn the motto "treat everyone with respect." As you get older that phase goes out the window. High school comes and labels become a big thing. Even in college and once your out of college it can be really hard making friends.
Sometimes even when you do have friends, you start to question "Are they really my friends?"
Read on about qualities of a true friend:
Qualities of a true friend
1) A true friend will always protect you. They will not sugar coat anything from you. They will not want to see you get hurt. They will not laugh at you when someone is hurting you. For instance you met a guy online he is always asking for pics and saying "Come over, lets hook up," but he never wants to take you out. When you say no he ghosts you and he does not respect you. Your friend will right out say "He does not respect you, move on I hate the way he treats you." They might even take away your phone and tell him off for treating you so bad. A fake friend will laugh and think it's funny and say "Well do what you want to do," knowing your crying all the time and can't handle getting treated that way.
2) A true friend will compromise with you. A real friendship requires give and take. They will do things that they do not want to do to make you happy and in return you should do the same. I am not talking about doing something you are totally uncomfortable with. For instance if they love horror and hate romance and you love romance. If they watch a romance with you there's no big deal. A true friendship requires "I got your back, you got my back," A fake friendship is "I am out for myself and I am not giving to no one else." A friendship is like a relationship it should be 50/50. If it is 100/5 then it is the wrong friendship. One person should not be doing more giving than the other.
3) True friends raise each other up they don't tear each other down. True friends do not criticize each other or get jealous of each other. They are each other's cheerleaders. They are able to compliment each other and bring out the best in each other and not the worst in each other. If you have a friend and you tell them about your ambitions and they constantly say "It's hard," or complaining all the time than that friend is not the friend for you. You need someone who will push you to the next level in life and who wants to see you succeed and not keep you stagnant.
4) True friends don't break their promises unless it's important. When they say they will be somewhere they will be there. They don't ghost you. They don't leave you hanging. They don't cancel plans on you until something better comes along.
5) True friends don't date your ex, anyone you liked, messed around with or had a past with. Anyone who went after someone that you had history with clearly wants your sloppy seconds because they can't get their own person and has self esteem issues. That is the first rule of friendship never go after your friends ex.
6) True friends help you instead of judging you. Sometimes we meet people in life to help us grow. Sometimes our friends are more mature than us. We should treat the people we meet with love and kindness. The right friend will have patience where the wrong friend won't. For instance two friends meet. One friend loves taking selfies, spending money on bronzer and going after all the Guido's. They think they are being cool. Some people get annoyed and distant themselves from that person. The right friend will have patience and not be judgmental and tell the person "You don't need to do what your doing. You are smart," and try to get them on the right path. If they yell and scream and say "You are annoying, I can't be friends with you, you are self-centered and going nowhere with your life," that is the wrong attitude. Sometimes people just need love and kindness and the right friend to help get their life on track. We all need someone who is our rock. The right friend will be our rock and the person we turn to when everything is falling apart.
7) The right friend will be our rock. The right friend will be our shoulder to cry on. The will listen to our problems. They may have told us millions of times it's better to wait for the right guy than settle for the wrong one but did we listen? no we kept contacting guys we shouldn't have and gone back to our ex's a million times who used us just not to be alone. Did our friend once say "I told you so?" No because that is what true friends do, they have empathy. They know everyone is human and makes mistakes and they are there for us when we need it. Then when we finally wisen up and get our lives back on track they are proud of our accomplishments meanwhile it was them along, being a good friend, being a light in the dark, loving us when we couldn't love ourselves showing us the right way, it just took us a little while to find the right path but we found it. The wrong friend will give up because they will be impatient and have no empathy. They won't be understanding. They will be critical and rude. They will only want us around for the good times and when we experience trials they will leave us in the dust.
Now you know
Now you know that true friends exist my advice is do not settle for the wrong one. Yes all friends fight. No one is perfect but you deserve a friend who is putting the same amount of effort into the friendship that you are putting into it.
It is very important who you choose in your environment because soon you start thinking that way. If you are around someone who always complains, fears for the future, always negative and is critical then you will think about that about yourself.
Yes a good friend will look out for you but they will want to see you happy. There are tons of great people out there. There are places like Meetup and you basically can meet people anywhere.
The important thing is looking for the right qualities when making a new friend. It is better for your circle to be small and real than be popular and be surrounded by a lot of fake and toxic people. You also in return have to be true and sincere yourself. Good luck!
- The 13 Essential Traits of Good Friends | Psychology Today
How does your Friendship Quotient measure up? Here are 13 key personal traits that strongly influence friendship quality.
- Introverts, Extroverts, Ambivert, Omnivert and how t...
Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? Do you feel you are a little bit of both? Are you more drawn to certain people than others?
- Dealing with Mean Girls
How to deal with mean girls and what they are like
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Jennifer Panaro
Jennifer Panaro (author) from Eastchester on May 10, 2020:
I am so sorry to hear that Alexandra. It hurts when that happens. People come into our life for a reason, a season and sometimes to teach us something. Not everyone who crosses our path are meant to stay in our life permanently. It hurts when people we are really close with leave but we never forget the marks they left with us. People do come back and it is the special ones and unique ones that never leave us. Your right though friends should be accepting. Once again I am so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you feel better.
Alexandra on May 09, 2020:
A friend should be accepting of each other’s differences and appreciate each other’s similar interests. If we were all the same life would be boring. I had a friend who was cantankerous and captious. It got to be too much negative energy and I could not feel relaxed around her. I severed ties with her and my life without her has improved a lot.
Jennifer Panaro (author) from Eastchester on April 09, 2020:
Thank you for your feedback. It was my pleasure sharing. I am glad you enjoyed the article!
Kyler J Falk from California on April 07, 2020:
Rule five made me chuckle a bit, because I compared it to the one friendship I maintain outside of my girlfriend and son. Sometimes you and your friend share each other's exes, and then make the ex do a walk of shame for breaking hearts! Then again, that's a guy thing and a majority of guys will not do this. Nonetheless, I chuckled at how my friend and I live a converse situation.
Decent article with practical advice, thanks for sharing!