What Is the Highest Form of Love?
What is Love
What Is Love
People yearn to be loved.
Some never find true love, and they wonder why. Love seems elusive and confusing. Just when you think you have found it, a major flaw is uncovered. It is a wise person who takes time to study the one in whom their heart is set upon. In time, the character of a person is revealed. Time is key!
This article will address the question, 'What is love?'
Chasing Love
Love Is Elusive
Love is the major theme of many conversations. If love was a color it would possess hues of rapture tempered in shades of pain.
How do you define love? Would you agree that love is an elusive term subject to many interpretations?
In this writing, I will present a brief and simple study of the root Greek word(s) for love. These definitions range from base self-indulgence to a holy and sacrificial gift.
In the original Greek, there are three different words used to explain the English word for love. We say I love peanut butter, I love my dog, I love my husband, I love the color purple and so on. Obviously, the English word for love has many interpretations but the Greek description is specific.
3 kinds of love
Three Types of Love
The three Greek words for love are Eros, Phileo, and Agape.
Most people will identify with the first two; Eros and Phileo. The third type of love, Agape is the greatest and highest form.
Sadly, there are people who live their whole lives and then die without ever knowing, experiencing or being touched by Agape Love. God loves His children with an Agape love. Those who do not know God know nothing of the Agape love He has for His children. God calls His children to learn to love Him and others with that same Agape love.
"So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other." John 13:34
EROS
CHEMISTRY
Eros is what some call chemistry. Eros was the Greek God of love and sexual desire. Romantic love is often spearheaded by Eros Love.
EROS - PHYSICAL
To love with Eros's love is to be irresistibly drawn to the physical. It is the love of the body. If love is based on Eros alone (apart from Phileo or Agape) it is self-centered, self-indulgent and does not require a relationship. In a marriage, the person who receives Eros's love alone will feel like an object whose sole purpose is to fulfill their spouse's desires.
NOT MEANT TO STAND ALONE
Eros's love was never meant to stand alone or apart from the other two forms of love. Eros by itself will never hold up under pressure. Eros (apart from the other two) satisfies itself and does not go beyond its own hunger and self-pleasure.
Forever Friends
A friend loves at all times
PHILEO
FRIENDSHIP AND LOYALTY
Phileo (friendship love) adds value to a relationship. It possesses affection and loyalty.
Phileo love holds a sincere appreciation for personhood. Phileo love is based on the character and commonality of values with a cherished friend.
FRIENDSHIP
True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway. ~ Edna Buchanan
The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Do not keep the alabaster boxes of your love and tenderness sealed up until your friends are dead. Fill their lives with sweetness. Speak approving cheering words while their ears can hear them and while their hearts can be thrilled by them. ~ Henry Ward Beecher
A FRIEND'S A FRIEND FOREVER
A Phileo friend is a friend forever. One in whom your heart rests. A Phileo friend can be trusted with your reputation, dreams, and deepest secrets. Although a Phileo friend accepts you just as you are, this friend is also faithful to tell you the truth no matter how bad that truth hurts.
"Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy." Proverbs 27:6
Friends are Friends Forever by Michael W. Smith
Agape Love
Agape love transcends all others. This love is not dependent on the other person to reciprocate. It has no expectations.
Agape love goes beyond the natural. A beautiful and convicting definition of Agape love is found in the Bible:
The Love Chapter - I Corinthians 13
- Love is patient
- it is kind
- Love is forgiving
- It is not easily angered
- Love is not selfish
- It never keeps a record of wrongs.
- Love protects its loved one
- It always trusts
- Love always hopes for the best
- It just keeps on giving.
This definition calls us to acknowledge how far short we all fall in our own power and strength.
Agape love is not dependent upon circumstances. No matter what happens - Agape love remains. Agape love is a deliberate commitment to pour into the person you have vowed to love for better or for worse.
Agape Love Is Self-Sacrificing
Agape love puts the others' needs above their own. Agape love studies to perceive needs. It invests in building up and adding value. Agape love looks beyond imperfections and beholds nurtures, sacrifices, and commits to the object of its love.
Agape Love Is a Choice
We can choose to Agape love, just as God loves us. If we are to love with an Agape love, we cannot depend on our feelings. Our feelings are not stable.
In most relationships, when feelings go awry or disappointment sets in, all expressions and sacrificial acts of love cease.
The absence of agape love is very clear when a couple signs a prenuptial agreement before committing to marriage. The fear of being betrayed or the false belief that one can fall 'out of love' motivates the perceived need for a prenuptial loophole.
Choose God's way. God enables us, as we ask, to agape love that person we have vowed to love for better or worse.
God Is Agape Love
God IS Agape love.
Only God can enable us to love so deeply, purely and sacrificially. God is the Glue that keeps a marriage together.
God's Agape Love for us: "For God so loved the world, that He GAVE His one and only Son, (Jesus) so that whoever believed would not perish, but have everlasting love." John 3:16
God is the essence and originator of love. God did not owe His creation anything - we ALL, in fact, have turned our backs on Him - yet, while we were yet in our sins, Christ died for us ... paying the penalty for sin (death) and restoring our relationship with Father God. He gave His all for us.
Agape love is the rarest, purest and holiest of all loves.
Eros + Phileo + Agape = Intimacy
INTIMACY
The expression of Eros love when combined with the other two, and within the bounds of marriage, is a beautiful portrayal of deep intimacy between husband and wife. It is a rare, holy and pure love that has learned to put the needs of their beloved above their own. When Phileo and Agape are intertwined purposefully with Eros, it is magnificent.
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© 2009 Susan Ream
Comments
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on August 11, 2020:
Bless you, Vilma! Marissa. Thank God that HE is Agape love and is the giver of every good and perfect gift. Oh, to be like Him.
Precious Olalere from Nigeria on August 06, 2020:
God is love! Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece. We are all need a doze of agape love in our life.
Vee from Pittsburgh on July 06, 2020:
Thank you. I never knew this. I am certainly an Agape lover.
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on December 21, 2015:
Hi Shyron, I'm not sure who Devika is ...?? I believe love is a choice. You choose to love whom you choose to love. People don't 'fall' in love, they allow their emotions to lead them into relationships. Some choose relationships outside of marriage. There is danger of 'falling' in love if you don't have boundaries around the vows you made on your wedding day.
It takes character and commitment to stick through the ups and downs that every single relationship experiences. I agree that holding on too tight can smother the other and that it does come from the root of insecurity.
Thanks for your thoughts and for dropping by. Merry Christmas!
Shyron E Shenko from Texas on December 19, 2015:
Devika, no you can’t destroy your marriage with love, unless… you are in love with someone other than a spouse or you are holding onto your spouse to tight, but that would not be love that would be insecurity.
Blessings and hugs my friend
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on August 20, 2013:
I like that Levertis .. Agape love like medicine to fix the ills of society - it is rare indeed but when it is experienced it is a GIFT like none other.
Blessings and thanks for the visit and sharing a great analogy.
Mekenzie
Levertis Steele from Southern Clime on August 19, 2013:
Agape love is the medicine that would fix so many ills of society. It is indeed rare.
Thanks for the enlightenment.
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on July 12, 2012:
teacherjoe, I Corinthians 13:4, when applied, will touch many lives. I have found that as I memorize scripture and review it, the Holy Spirit brings it to the forefront when I need it. Through your writing I have come to see that God's hand is upon you and that your first love is for Him .. Keep goin' brother joe!
Blessings!
Mekenzie
teacherjoe52 on July 11, 2012:
Hi Mekenzie.
Very insightful and beautiful article.
I try to incorporate 1 Corinthians 13:4 into my daily life.
God bless you.
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on July 10, 2012:
Helen, yes, God wants us to love each other with HIS Agape Love. Thanks for your encouraging comments.
God Bless you friend,
Mekenzie
oceansider on July 10, 2012:
Hi Mekenzie,
Thank you for this article about Agape love, which is from Jesus Christ our Lord....I like the way you wrote about the different kinds of love, so that people can understand easily......and God wants us to love each other with His Agape love.
May God bless you Mekenzie, Helen
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on June 13, 2012:
Thanks for stopping by ministry and leaving your encouragement!
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on June 13, 2012:
Jerome,
So you have found the true source of love in Father God.
Agape is a love we give freely; no strings attached. But that doesn't mean that we allow the one we love to mistreat us. No, it would NOT be love to do that ... because the one on whom we bestow love would learn to treat others badly which would be very un-healthy for them ... once again thinking of our loved one.
A loved that will do anything, with respect to righteousness even selfless it is satisfying...
I pray you will honor your girl and seek God's will in all you do. He knows us best and His love is 100% Agape.
Mekenzie
Jerome Ballena on June 13, 2012:
I am 15 going 16.. I am fortunate someone Likewise I love God more than her, because of here I learn to love everyone... We didn't became friend but still I know Aga Pe is love with no string attached...
A loved that will do anything, with respect to righteousness even selfless it is satisfying...
and It is only with the Heart One can see rightly, what essential is invisible to the eye... I still love the girl Denise my first crush, my first love and I hope she will be the last
ministry on December 17, 2011:
Thank you for this.
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on March 08, 2010:
Mike, beautifully put! Agape love is the way our Father God loves us. Thanks for stopping by and leaving your words or wisdom. Blessings!
Mike Lickteig from Lawrence KS USA on March 08, 2010:
Three centers: body, head, and heart. To give love from the heart and have it accepted is the most wonderful gift one can receive. A love from the heart that never comes close, however beautiful, is still a lonely love.
May we all know agape--that true and special love.
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on March 08, 2010:
Catch up is good. We're never too old to learn to love. That's what I say... :0) I think you're pretty sweet yourself!
ralwus on March 08, 2010:
Well, I have some time now and am playing catch up you see, plus you are so sweet. You have made my old heart swell. x
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on March 08, 2010:
awe ralwus, I've seen a speck of your heart .. and I know there are so many here on the hubs that love you! Thanks for visiting my hubs. I am blessed that you would take time for a read here.
ralwus on March 08, 2010:
I may write about it, but I am the great pretender. I don't know a thing about love.
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on February 11, 2010:
Moulik, Thank you for your visit and for your kind words too. Blessings
Moulik Mistry from Burdwan, West Bengal, India on February 11, 2010:
Lovable topics - so love can be defined so many ways! Very well done...
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on December 13, 2009:
dohn, thanks for stopping by to read my hub. Agape love is the highest form of love and as I said, is not dependant upon being loved back. BUT ... I certainly agree that a perfect love story would be two people who Apape love each other! Blessings!
dohn121 from Hudson Valley, New York on December 13, 2009:
This was simply awesome to read as it was very fascinating. Nothing compares to AGAPE love when it's reciprocal. Thanks, Mekenzie.
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on December 08, 2009:
Petra, Yes, "Love is all we need." :-) I have begun to write a hub about a real AGAPE love story. It is about a young man that I know and a love that is beyond human comprehension... It is amazing to me!
Petra Vlah from Los Angeles on December 08, 2009:
Thank you Mekenzie,
Sharing your love with the rest of us is great and up-lifting. "Love is all we need"
Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on December 08, 2009:
I appreciate your input; thank you creativeone.
Benny Faye Ashton Douglass from Gold Canyon, Arizona on December 07, 2009:
Thank you for a very rewarding and astute hub, Thank you for sharing it. blessings to you. creativeone59
