Meaning of Unconditional Love
What is unconditional love? That is a tricky question. Many of us do not ever get the chance to experience unconditional love. Why? Because we are in a relationship, we may love a person, actually we may love a person a lot and find ourselves content in the relationship we are in, but something inside of us feels as if something is missing. Despite the fact of these feelings, we will stay with a partner that makes us feel ok, we will learn to accept a person who is there for us day after day even if we feel as though it is not completely right. Even if we feel like we want something more. Change is so hard. Most of us are guilty of being too scared to change. When we get use to something we let it just be. We stick to what we know because we are safe in that place. Not always as happy as we want to be, but feel secure and familiarity. For this reason we may never let ourselves get the opportunity to find a person who we really love unconditionally. I am not saying that this is always bad. We can live a content life, even a happy life with a person who does not completely complete us, but I must say that unconditional love is a beautiful thing.
How do I know it is Unconditional Love?
How do I know if I love my partner unconditionally? Well for starters if your partner told you that they were not happy in the relationship would you let them go or would you beg them to stay? Of course at first most of us tend to be shocked and the first thing we do is try to get them to stay, this is natural. Even if we were not exactly happy ourselves in the relationship. It all goes back to the fear. The fear of being alone. But after a while of being apart, how would you really feel about this person? Would you want them to be happy even if they were not with you? Deep down in your heart, even if you are sad would their happiness be enough for you to be happy? This is a really hard question and probably really to answer but if you really truly love a person unconditionally then you will let them be. You will set them free. You would want that person to have the best in life even if you cannot provide it to them. Unconditional love is all about not being selfish. Think about how you love your children or how your parents loved you. This is the best way to describe unconditional love. You will do things for your children that you could never imagine doing for anyone else. You sacrifice yourself, your time, your energy and your life to provide a wonderful life for your children and I bet your parents did the same for you.
Accepting Your Partner
How about the things you do not like about your partner? Are you willing to live with these things? Even if they bother you? Of course there is always give and take in a relationship. There needs to be in order for a relationship to work, but remember, we cannot change a person to make them who we want them to be. They have to be willing to make the change on their own. And really for their sake, not yours. So lets say for example your partner goes out every Thursday night with their friends and does not invite you. You absolutely hate this. You beg them to change this and maybe only go out once a month or something. They insist on having their night out. Are you willing to accept this? Will you make it a big deal and/or a problem in your relationship? Yes we need to be able to make sacrifices in our lives for our partners but we also need to be able to totally accept them for who they are. Maybe this is important to them. Maybe this night away from you is the reason that the relationship stays strong.
Breaking up With Your Partner
If you recently broke up with your partner, thinking about some of these things may help you in making a decision on whether or not you want to try to give it another shot or if it is time to move on and find someone else. I think that the best medicine for a breakup is time. We need time to reflect and to think about the relationship. We need to decide what is important to us. We need to come to a point where we are able to live a healthy life on our own. Knowing our own wants and needs. I think that even if we decide to get back with an ex, we should still be at a point in our lives that we have a true and full understanding of ourself. It will help us to grow in our relationship. An old one or a new one. Being apart from a person, though it can feel like the hardest thing we ever have to do at times, can be very beneficial to both people. It may take a long time to figure these things out, but that is OK. Like I said time is essential.
Is Your Love Unconditional?
Love Yourself Unconditionally
I do not think that it is OK to sacrifice our own well being for someone else. Even though we can love a person unconditionally, it does not always mean that we will be able to stay in a relationship with them. This goes for family, friends or spouses. If a person has hurt you badly and you feel as though it is best to move on from that relationship, no matter how much you love the person it does not always mean you should stay in that situation. You can forgive the person, be their for them when they need you. Support them emotionally but you must always remember that you need to take care of yourself. You must always love yourself unconditionally!
Love can be crazy, we all know this is true. But is such a wonderful learning experience for all of us. If we do not experience love, different situations, if we never experience heartache or sadness then we would not be able to grow. We would not appreciate the things that we have. So though heartache and love can be tough, remember that people come into our lives for a reason. Maybe to teach us something new, maybe to change something about us that needed changing or maybe to show us what we really want or need. What ever the case may be, live, laugh and love!
Dr Pran Rangan from Kanpur (UP), India on August 28, 2019:
Unconditional love requires us to accept imperfections of the partners but, at the same time, the partners are free to break up a relationship, if they find it unsuitable for sustenance.
In a relationship, first of all, we should learn to love ourselves unconditionally before we love the partner.