Ok, how do I look? Great... I can do it... Don't be nervous.... Take a deep breath... 1, 2, 3.. AND...
-Hi, how are you doing?
-Buzz of jerk !
Does this sound somewhat familiar? Doesn't feel good to be rejected by a girl, right? Yeah, I know. Well, that's why I decided to compile a list of the most vital secrets all guys should know know in order to avoid this ugly feeling once and forever. I won't mention that you need to be "a good listener" or that "first impression does matter". Those are, of course, important steps to learn but they are obvious and you have probably heard those thousands of times already.
What I' d like to share with you are tips, well actually supertips, which you might have not heard before but believe me, they are, without any doubt, bound to work.
Ok, so let's get started.
First of all, I'd like to ask you a question: How many times have you heard that in order to attract a girl, you have to be good looking, lavish in money and similar "blabalabla's"? Well, to some extent they might be true. But not because women go by looks or money. It's because those type of guys usually possess certain qualities which attract women. And by knowing those qualities you can develop them in yourself and get any woman you want. So what are those ultimate features that you must have?
1 High value
This, to my mind, is the most important quality of all, since without showing high value there is just no way on earth you can attract a girl. They will simply think of you as some kind of a loser who isn't worth any attention. So here's what you have to do in order to show high value:
- Mind your principles. If a girl behaves in a way you don't like or if she makes you feel uncomfortable, don't keep silent about that. Most men think that if they disagree with a woman, she will get angry and finally leave. Well, it's actually the opposite. If you start satisfying every whim of hers, she will start using you and finally dump you like an out-of-date tool.
- Don't chase her. Always show her that she isn't the only option to chose from. Hang around with other women as well. Although this may sound a little strange but believe me it isn't. If you have other girlfriends you show your girl that she is not the only one and she has to fight for your attention. Thus, she will constantly try to impress you and that's what will keep her attracted to you. Besides, you yourself will feel better if you know that you have other girls to choose from. And in case of rejection, you won't feel so negative.
- Have a strong opinion. Women hate guys who act indecisively. If she asks you, for instance:
-Could you do me a favor?
and you respond with something like
-Umm, I don't know
she will simply think that you don't feel like doing her a favor and are just trying to avoid a direct "No". This is really a bad thing to do, as it means that you're allowing your principles to be violated which is, as you already know, one of the biggest signs of low value.
- Don't seek her approval. Never ever ask her questions like "Do you like me? or "Do you have a boyfriend?" Those are the worst questions any man could possibly think of. You will simply look like a boy asking his mom to buy him a toy car. And your value will drop from high to low in a split of a second.
2 Unpredictability and mystery
By saying unpredictable I don't mean you should start breaking things all around you every time you have an emotional outburst. No ! Imagine yourself in a club, for instance. You decide to pick up a girl. Instead of approaching her and saying something like:
-Hey, how are you doing? or -Can I buy you a drink?
go straight to her and ask:
-What's the best drink here?
-Great, so you're going to buy me one, right?
See? Since most of the guys act like in the first situation, women are used to such behavior and when men approach them, women already know what they're going to say. Therefore, by acting like in the latter situation, you are unpredictable which means you are somewhat different from the rest.
Now what about being mysterious you ask?
To be mysterious means not to reveal all the details early on. For example, a girl asks you:
-What are you doing tomorrow night?
What would you respond? You would just tell her what you're doing tomorrow, right? And that's your mistake. Instead, just go with something like:
-We met only a minute ago, and you're already asking me out? Hold on, girl !
I'd like to tell you but I can't. My mother told me not to talk to strangers.
Another good trick, which I personally use quite often, is triggering her interest. Here's how to do it. Start a conversation and then somewhere in the middle snap it. Here's an example:
You're talking to a girl. The conversation goes seamlessly and then suddenly you say:
-Oh, I had a really funny accident yesterday. Do you want to listen?
Of course, she says "yes" but instead of starting it right away, excuse yourself:
Ok, but I have to make a call first. Would you excuse me for a minute?
In this situation she gets really excited, as she knows that you have something interesting to tell her. And while you're "talking on a phone", she will get more and more excited and her attraction towards you will increase as well.
3 The ability to provide her a full range of emotions
This took me a long time to realize. Until I hadn't learned this step, I thought that in order to keep a girl attracted to me, I need to constantly make her feel good about herself. To some extent, I was right. The case is that she will be attracted to you if you make her feel good about herself. But only for a while. Then she will simply get bored because she'll know what to expect from you. Remember the second quality? BE UNPREDICTABLE. That's why you shouldn't avoid arguments with her. That's why you shouldn't be afraid to make her cry either. I don't mean that you should make her feel this way day in and day out but believe me, a little quarrel every know and then will only strengthen your relationship. I know it's hard to believe. At first, I couldn't accept it either. But when you spare a second thought... Why do women often choose "bad guys" instead of "good ones"? It's because "bad guys" aren't afraid to leave their girls and that' makes a woman feel unsure about her future. And believe me, they like this drama. So here are little tricks how to provide her a full range of emotions:
- When complimenting her, show both interest and disinterest. Imagine those two situations:
-Have I told you that you look wonderful tonight?
-Do you always put that much make-up? Nevertheless, you still look wonderful.
See the difference? In the first situation you show genuine interest in her and make her feel pleased. However, in the second, you make her feel both, pleased and at the same time unsure whether you really like her. Thus, in the latter situation she will be sort of confused and this will definitely keep her attracted to you.
- Don't always answer her phone calls right away. You'll show that you have other things to do and that she isn't your top priority. And since she can't stand not being a top priority, she will start thinking of ways to get more attention from you.
- Always show her how you feel. If you're angry, don't try to hide it. If you're on cloud nine, again, show it. Remember, she feels the same emotions you feel. And the more different emotions you provide her, the greatest drama she will experience. And as you already know, women like dramas.
How to approach a girl?
Ok, so now you know the ultimate qualities you need to possess to be a women magnet. But how do you actually take the very first step?
Many guys start trembling when it comes to approaching a girl. Do you know why is that? Yes, you're right. They fear being rejected. Unfortunately, women can smell this fear miles away. That's why you need to get rid of it. Luckily, it is really easy to do this and there are more than one ways to do it. You only need to change your thinking:
- Visualize in your mind that you've already picked her up. Pay attention to what emotions you feel then. Probably excitement, joy, pride. Your feeling like a real man ! Enjoy this pleasurable state. Let those emotions fill every cell in your body. Let them control you. Then ask yourself. Is there any force on earth that is going to keep you away from experiencing this satisfaction in reality. If your desire is strong enough, then the answer will definitely be "NO !"
- When you're approaching her, imagine yourself getting taller. You get closer to her. Closer. Closer. And here you are, standing right next to her, twice the size of her. She looks scared. And you say in a soft but firm voice: "Hi,...."
- Create positive statements about yourself. For instance:
-Approaching a girl is the easiest thing in the world.
-I'm so attractive that no girl in the world could reject me.
Once you come up with some statements, keep constantly repeating them day in and day out. In the morning when you wake up. Before going to sleep. During a break in your work. When eating. Every time you have a spare second, repeat those statements either in your mind or vociferously. After a short space of time you will start seeing miraculous improvements.
- Ask yourself a question: "What will happen if she rejects me?" This always helps me to break the ice because I always come up with the same answer: "Nothing will happen because I won't see her again. Ever !" So what's the difference then if she rejects me. What's the difference if she even calls her friends to laugh at my unsuccessful try.
- Make some mistakes on purpose. This is my favorite. I used to do it a lot to boost my confidence not only with girls but in other life spheres as well. So what you basically do is go out and deliberately get rejected several times. Walk up to some girl in the street and try to "pick her up". But instead do everything that's possible to get rejected. This may sound insane first but once you get rejected several times, you will get used to it and your self-confidence will increase dramatically. In the end you'll be doing it just for fun.
Ok, so before ending I'd like to share with you the last and the most important secret you'll ever hear in your entire life.
Until you fail to master it, you won't be successful with girls. The secret is very simple:
AVOID FRIENDS ZONE !
This means don't be just a friend to her. As soon as she starts seeing you as a friend, it will be extremely difficult for you to become her lover. I myself failed to realize this for a long time. Although most of my friends were girls, whenever I tried to get closer to any of them, nothing worked. That's because they saw me as a friend and it was hard for them to see me as "something more". Thus, avoid this deadly friend zone by all means:
- Get physical to her as soon as possible. It really isn't that difficult as most of you might think in the first place. You can simply embrace her when she's blue. Or you can use some tricks. For example, pretend you noticed something in her hair and then brush through them to "take it out".
- Kiss her as soon as possible. When you kiss her, she starts regarding you as a potential lover. Of course, before kissing her, you have to make sure she:
-feels comfortable -is in the right mood -is triggered emotionally -make physical contact with her first
Never ask her: "Can I kiss you?" and don't even think about forcing her to kiss you.
- Never try to solve her problems. Most of men do not realize this. They feel like they're doing a favor for a woman by trying to solve her problems but in fact, they're not. Although women like to talk about their issues and they do like it when you listen to them, but when it comes to solving, you'd better just shut up. Otherwise, you will become sort of provider for her and eventually she will turn to you every time she's in trouble or she needs help. Although you might think this is a positive sign (I used to think so myself), it is not. You'll be just a problem-solver, not a lover.
- Develop those 3 qualities mentioned above. Remember, women will be attracted towards you as long as:
-they respect you -they can't figure you out -don't get bored with you
So that's what attracts women. Those are the ultimate secrets all guys should know about girls. Isn't that difficult, right? Remember, if you master those tips effectively, no girl will ever reject you. It doesn't even matter if they know these secrets. Even if they do, they just can't help feeling attractions towards such men, believe me.
All the best.
Dumbass Rusty on June 29, 2015:
Good info, but it probably won't work for me, it never does.
Galvin Brown on May 08, 2014:
Wow this is kind of cool I really have to try this!
daveloren on January 22, 2013:
Sounds very,very difficult and unpleasant.Why would ANY guy go through this? Let the women have the wonderful fun of approaching,
since it is so "rewarding"!
ivan dele on May 23, 2012:
nyc write up,wit dis guyz dat are nt capable wil buckle up.wil want more supertips in my email:email@example.com
Gurl-Chaser on May 19, 2012:
Well,what can i say?Whoever wrote this saved me from more rejection and heartbreak,cos i will learn to be me.Thnx guys and God bless you.I just do not know where you author/s are,but i will surely made a spercial cup or two of tea for you.PEACE BE WITH U.
livelife21 on May 09, 2012:
nice let me experiment it then feedback sowait 4 my reply
jamres on May 07, 2012:
this is inspiring
Robin salizani on April 30, 2012:
Man that's same talent u have there ill try then dayly thnx.
sonu on April 28, 2012:
I have read and feels little confidence grown plse send me more tips on this topic, I m fresher bro I need ur more, so keep seeding me on my email I'd firstname.lastname@example.org
Hatem on April 11, 2012:
the biggest secret hardly to believe but it is so true and tremendously true and only before anything else :
a true man is the one who makes his a own money and enjoys his earnings or expanding his profit
why! because women likes money !
no ! nop ! and again you fell in within the same mistake !
it is again about your own development your self away from ladies ! to be successful within yourself !
because handling finance ! and budget ! job ! and business is 100 times harder then talking to women ! once you get there ! or within the range !
then you would be extremely attracted to women !
because who knows how to handle his earnings ! he would be the one capable to have it all what women likes ! such as :
- in order to earn money you better be smart !
- patient and compassionate
- aggressive in certain times to earn good money !
- you like competition! to both loosing or winning !
-loosing to learn winning
- winning to expand winning
-you know how to communicate in business thus with women
- you don't feel needy but others needs you and if they leave they loose and you don't
-yes money ! don't get me wrong! as a material thing ! but as value measure !
yes it is! this is why I see very much as my advise right now ! as the most valuable money ! you are getting it for free! that you barely see it or they admitted ! to keep on people lost on other things! without money issue they could not add a single article ! and the whole thing would end and they won't have anything to say ! to keep on making money ! but with this clear real answer ! you won't be full any more ! yet and again in a positive ways which is : money $ $ $ $
jetjet on March 27, 2012:
dose not work
Shankz on March 25, 2012:
fuck i am the problem solver and she thinks i solve everyone's problem which i do now wat to do ?
Alpha-Authentic on February 03, 2012:
Good Hub!very interesting.
ekow on January 11, 2012:
this is never true when u dont try to solve her problems,but you try always always to be her hero .
sf on December 15, 2011:
so true i've been in the friend zone for nearly 3 years
Name on November 02, 2011:
I love unpredictable...i mean the positive part! I hate the question `do you like me?`. Bt i`d prefer being a guy`s friend b4 being his gf.cuz he`ll be more of himself around me when we`re friends than a couple.he wont be trying to impress me or anything.
Mark on June 07, 2011:
I don't think of it as a mask. Its more giving him the confidence to be himself without allowing his fear to get in the way. Not tricking but more along the line of boosting his self esteem in a sense. Cause we trip over ourselves in the aspect of trying to talk to a pretty girl. So if we can be given a way to be steady and confident then at least you can get up to bat. Instead of not getting to play an inning :-p
sane man on January 31, 2011:
This makes me feel sad reading this because it's just a long article for men who don't have the confidence to be themselves. There seems to be a lot of this about nowadays, 'how to trick a girl in to liking you'. So what if you get a girl to like you doing this, it's not really you they like, it's just the mask your holding up and trust me eventually that'll just leave you feeling hollow.
smileyz from ABUJA NIGERIA on November 30, 2010:
nice write up.
pink flavour on November 25, 2010:
hahaha it's kind of funny that I wrote a hub about how to get a man from my point of view , as a woman , and now i read yours , from a man's point of view and...many things are kind of the same in each cases . I guess men and women aren't so different after all !
john on September 30, 2010:
brother this is an excellent dating advise from you and it helped me a lot ..thanks a lot plz keep posted