Michael is a self-taught expert in human behavior. He enjoys writing and sharing his insights on the human condition.
Why Do Women Hate Men so Much
Things Men do That Women Hate
There are many psychological factors about men that will repel women, this article will cover the main behavioral culprits that undermine your chances at success. Don't expect a quick fix, It takes time to conform to change. Fortunately, with a reasonable amount of time and effort, one can improve interactions with not just women, but everyone.
Additionally, you should keep in mind that all women are different. One set of mannerisms might be endearing and attractive to one, and another it could be completely unattractive and repellent. Here are five things women generally hate about men:
Things Girls Like About Guys
#1 Signs of Insecurity in Men in Relationships
Women love being with men who are comfortable in their own skin. Insecurity is the main reason why men never succeed with women, next to not understanding how the dynamics of attraction work. Think about it, who wants to be with someone who can’t even stand being with themselves?
Have you ever had a male friend that just tagged along everywhere you went? He calls constantly just to see if you can get together with him..? Isn’t that annoying? Women hate that too. Being insecure is a sure-fire progression into being unsure and developing a needy personality.
Do not be a clingy/needy boy that follows her around every time you’re out on a date or just spending time together. When you first get to know a woman, take things slow, give her time, and give her personal space. When she’s ready for more, you’ll know.
The more available someone is the less desirable they’ll become. The more uncertain a woman is about you, the better. The less clingy you appear, the more attractive you will become in the eyes of a woman. Woman enjoy a little challenge and letting her chase you a little is a good thing for building attraction.
The more available someone is the less desirable they’ll become.
#2 Men Should Take Care of Themselves
Women can be superficial, sure we all can be, it's only human. It's actually quite evolutionarily apt for us to be superficial. We are very visual creatures, especially men. When I say "not taking care of yourself", I mean that in many different ways.
Women need to know that they're with a person that can maintain themselves, here's how some men fail on that front:
- Not keeping up with good hygiene. ie. emitting any kind of unpleasant odor, due to poor brushing habits, not wearing enough or proper deodorant.
- Consistently wearing shabby and unwashed clothing.
- Having dirty and unkempt hair and nails.
- Being unfit and constantly indulging in an unhealthy diet.
- Not groomed, dirty messy hair, nose hair, etc.
- Not taking care of yourself financially.
- Not having or not interested in having goals and/or aspirations.
What women hate about their husbands, boyfriends or men that they date can be numerous. When women see men that clearly do not take care of themselves, it shows them that these men have little respect for themselves. I think it's safe for me to say that women aren't attracted to men that have absolutely no ambition, motivation or direction in their lives. So, learn to take care of yourself, it will send the right messages to a woman, that you have some discipline.
What Do Women Want
#3 Men Being Too Available in a Relationship
If you make yourself too available, too often, a woman(or anyone for that matter) would be justified in thinking you might not have a life. I think that way of male friends that want to hang with me all the time. But my male friends that have their own things going on, I tend to want to be around them more often.
I cringe at the thought oh what a woman might think. Unless you both are madly in love and engaged, don’t make a woman your entire life. A woman wants to know she's with someone that has their own circle of friends and other priorities. It’s difficult for a woman to miss you if you’re communicating with her a little too much and consistently.
Strive to be less consistent, a little mystery to yourself will go a long way towards her interest in you. Call and text only when the woman contacts you, is a good rule of thumb. Keep conversations short, also be the one to end the calls will help reaffirm to her that you do have other options to spend your time.
Unless you both are madly in love and engaged, don’t make a woman your entire life.
#4 Men with Lack of Leadership Skills
Women desire men that are in control and have no qualms about taking the lead. Worthwhile and genuine women do not want a man that bows unquestioningly to their every whim.
Women are attracted to men they respect and can look up to, not a man that looks to them. Women are all different, so use good judgment in how you change your subconscious behaviors.
Pick a movie and stand by your decision, when something’s on your mind, speak up, don’t be afraid to have a little conviction. Change where you take her at the last minute, get used to planning out dates. Women appreciate a little mystery with healthy bouts of leadership. Women appreciate men who can take charge in a respectable way.
#5 Disadvantages of Being Too Nice
There are countless research studies that insisted women have a difficult time being or staying attracted to nice guys. Women desire a man who can get them excited, who challenges them mentally. Women do not enjoy predictability, there’s no mystery or excitement there. Research also shows that women tend to be attracted to bad boys who can keep them on their toes.
This doesn’t mean you have to treat them badly or join a street gang, just be more unpredictable and don’t be such a stickler for rules. Run a yellow light(never a red) every once in a while, women need to feel a gut reaction of danger and uncertainty, every now and then. If you’re not a bad boy, that’s okay.
But it’s in your best interest to adopt at least some of the bad boy qualities. Be Adventurous, try new things, and break the speed limit once in a while. Please use proper judgment, I am in no way advising you to drive recklessly or put anyone in harm's way.
Disadvantages of Being a Nice Guy
Honestly? I'm one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. I'm respectful to everyone, not just women. It took me a long time to really get over being too nice, many people around me considered me nice to a fault. When I was in high school and college I actually dated a lot of women, but it would never last.
Slowly, I started realizing that I was showing too much respect to the women that I dated. Yes, it's possible to show too much respect. I changed my behavior to be more aloof, less predictable and less agreeable. This minor, albeit very important change in mindset, has made all the difference in my life when it comes to dating and relationships.
My advice is to never stop learning and growing as a person, an ego is the worst thing to wear when you're trying to learn something new, so be mindful of that fact. Please feel free to share this article with friends or your social network.
© 2014 Michael Kismet
Maddie M. on September 12, 2019:
"Run a yellow light(never a red) every once in a while, women need to feel a gut reaction of danger and uncertainty, every now and then." I know a guy who slams on the brakes at yellow lights and won't even jaywalk at night when no one is on the road. It sounds trivial, but I find this sort of behavior highly unattractive. It tells me he blindly does what he is told to do and never questions anything. The fact that there is a complete lack of spontaneity and adventure is also a serious repellent.
Princess Peach on September 10, 2019:
Women dont much like it when they are having a difficult day and a guy tells them "your're odder than usual tonight." I'd recommend adding that somewhere in your article.
Cristale Adams from USA on May 01, 2019:
I really like this article. You should check out mine, they are similar to yours!
My take on November 07, 2016:
My take on this subject is that it's not that women DON'T like "nice" men, it's just that the nice men are too reserved to male their stsnd, tjen theY ste too reserved to takebinitiative and hit on women around them (and by this i mean on talking with women, havimg casual chats, flirting with other women, trying to get laid, any or every single thing). theY wait for one woman and them quickly devote their time and energy but theY still lack the initiative even if theY hit on a woman way "below" their "league". And even if a woman was interested, this kind of behavior simpčy kills it because she'll rather Chase that Guy who May be more uncertain, more interesting in terđs of character, more of avshow off, or simply better looking in physical sense. This kind of behavior happens even if a Guy is a 7' tall model-shaped millionaire.
Most guys learn this in their late teens or early 20s so they start acting like players and never stop, for their own good. If theY get zrouble with women they know it's really their fault and that theY udedcany ipportunity they had. This way theY DON'T restraim themselves and have nothing to regret, except for not improving themselves even more in order to have even better time. Compared and contrast with frustrated chumps who learn this in their 30s or 40s when theY gentlemanly marry women wjo settle down pnly for lack of better ipportunity and them stsrtbhaving affairs when a more interesting playa sjowsvup orvwhen things arent going nicely but an old flame seems interested, even though it's probably just an affair.
This exactčyvis whyvso many men are cold-headed players and secretly dedire to avoid legal obligations.
This kindvofvstory goes both ways robcertsin point, though, so it could bevdone in a more gendee neutral way but i just DON'T care enough to look a woman's perspective. This "primitive brain" logic where people are never fully satisfied is a constant and a stable source of gender ocnflict so to say. A wandering eye on the lookout for a better opportunity and playing your cards game in order to score better. The only thing is that it's somehow a fad to hate on the economical part (income and inheritance), although it the income part is arguably the most person-related factor, unlike I.e. physical looks.
Long story short, nice guys finish last because they cripplevtheir chances and give way too much leeway to other party and the other party uses it to her advantage. Same goes for nice women. Thus everyone who knows what they are doing are generally trying to play the field for their own advantage and this includes the 'play nice' strategy mixed with other stuff.
Paul on July 22, 2016:
O.K. here we go! Plan the date ( to show leadership ?) and change the plans at the last minute to add mystery. Be available, but not too available.
And, above all, DON'T respect her too much!
Sounds just great,where do I sign up?
Michael Kismet (author) from Northern California on September 08, 2014:
As always Paula, your keen insights and observations are most welcome! It's hard to imagine men not being attracted to you.. =) Last night, I wrote a new hub that has zero competition on search engines! "Why Ninjas are Better Than Women", just as a goof!
Not like one of your articles, filled with such endearing thoughts, ideas, and emotional content. Reading your work always evokes an emotional response for me..it's inspiring.
Suzie from Carson City on September 08, 2014:
Michael.....Opinions based on experience and/or observations are often much more accurate than they are mere assumptions. I realize you use the terms "men" and "women" in the general sense. Thus, I can agree with you wholeheartedly. These are quite valid things the vast majority of women dislike about men. In a few of these categories, I can safely use the term, "hate." (It's harsh, suzette, yes....but sometimes so is the disgusting behavior! LOL)
Looking back, I freely admit to having had encounters with nearly every "type" of man who exists, relationships with really wonderful and woefully disappointing guys. Such is life.
I came to have an epiphany (one of many) at an early age. The common denominator in each relationship, from 5-Star to utter failure, is ME.
I reasoned that if I continuously focus on working on my own faults and weaknesses, the men who possess qualities I LOVE (about men) will be the men I attract? Nothing is foolproof, but it's worth the effort. .........Peace, Paula
Elisabeth Ellis from Nashville, TN. on August 11, 2014:
Again, good observations. I would add pride to the list. Though confidence is super sexy, my number one least favorite quality has to be pride. Lying has to be number two.
Michael Kismet (author) from Northern California on August 03, 2014:
Oh no, I never said anything about being mean or calculating, just stressed on the fact of not being too nice. But you're right, dislike would have been a more subtle touch. If you read it through, I reiterate a few times to be respectful, also that I'm the nicest guy there was to ever be nice!
Even I like nice guys, but when it comes to romantic attraction, it just doesn't work out too well for those guys, and I'm sure there's a legion of nice men that would concur with me.
But thank you for your input Suzette, it proves that there are some women that genuinely enjoy the company of nice men. Your opinion is most welcomed, thanks again!
Suzette Walker from Taos, NM on August 03, 2014:
I wouldn't say 'hate' as that's too harsh a word. Dislike is much better. I see nothing wrong with a nice guy being nice to women. It is refreshing. Not every woman wants to be challenged all the time. I'd take nice over mean and calculating any day.
Michael Kismet (author) from Northern California on August 03, 2014:
Thanks for visiting guys, I appreciate it!
Sanjay Sharma from Mandi (HP) India on August 03, 2014:
Very analytic and practical approach. Quite appreciable. Voted up and shared for all human relationships.