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What I Learned About Girls' Perfume

I was born in the south. I live in the south and will die in the south. This is only a small part of the memories I share.

A girlapplies perfume very methodically.

A girlapplies perfume very methodically.

Firstly, I can tell you in (a) word about women's perfume. It smells. See? I told you the truth and shared a perfume compliment all at once. I would wager that most of you didn't think that this was in my wheelhouse. I also didn't think that you knew that I've learned a few cute phrases, nouns and verbs to give deep meaning to my works.

This one is no different. I recall the very first time when I was exposed to perfume. I was scared. I didn't realize what aroma had entered my car. But I prayed that it wasn't my water pump going bad. Otherwise my gorgeous brunette date would look at me very judgemental. Can't have that. Got to be at point. Stay in front of disaster. Most modern explorers such as Sr. Edmund Hillary, stayed in front of disaster. Then became the first human to climb Mt. Everest. When I was compiling this hub, it had be said. I woud wager several hundred bucks that there we no females in Hillary's crew. And if there were a female or two, they had better sense than to wear loud perfume--due to their boss being distracted and he couldn't have that.

I did have to ask what good did it do for Hillary to be the first to be atop Mt. Everest? I can only think of the endorsements and bucks that came to him. Books he wrote, documentaries, and possibly that outdoor gear that he endorsed for Sears Roebuck, well, I didn't think that Hillary hurt for money. Ever.

A girl doesn't have to use a lot of perfume to get attention.

A girl doesn't have to use a lot of perfume to get attention.

What does this all have to do with girl's perfume? Different things to different folks. What some girls wear perfume that would lure a calibrant monk off some mysterious mountain in Tibet, and to those girls who wear perfume that smells do loudly that the aroma can literally kill flies several yards from them. Was I exaggerating? Probably. But not much. Truthfully, I like women who wear perfume. I like my wife when she wears perfume. Okay. I love her when she doesn't. This was a free marital tip.

Why the various accents coming from the perfumes ranging from hundreds of bucks an ounce to a ten-dollar bill that gets the lady with an economy-size, or that 2-liter bottle which is tough for the poor department store to push. No. I have never witnessed any woman who wears scents emitting from a 2-liter jug of perfume. But there has to be one somewhere, and I am not going to search.

In 1972, I was a senior in high school and I had a working knowledge about the facts of life (and death) providing that the male insults some girl about her perfume smelling like diesel fuel. I can safely report that I wasn't that guy. I was too happy to enjoy whatever attention that I managed to beg for them to talk to me. Our cheerleaders looked fabulous. And wore a perfume that was not loud, but knew that it was there. No, I didn't try to look for it on these girls' finely-shaped bodies---and run the risk of being kicked-out from school.

But I want to share with you this short-but-true account of what I felt and smelled when a gorgeous girl named, "Frankie," gave-up to ride around with me. I never told her, but I was at the point of fainting because she didn't argue or make me sign a contract about how much I was to pay for our dinner. No. She was so cordial and natural. Years to come when our lives went other ways, I found myself kicking my butt for not pursuing "Frankie," and her loud perfume.

Notice. I did say loud. Yes. Loud, but not loud enough to ask her to get out of my car. No. I was so excited that if I found out that she wore animal manure, it wouldn't have mattered to me. I was a very desperate single guy of 18. I had already trained myself to endure as much of adverse conditions, then score points to see the same girl twice. That always felt nice.

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Back to "Frankie." She wore a nice summer top and a short skirt, but not too short as to distract me from driving safely. But that scent that came from her was about to make my mind turn into chaos. Thank God that it was a hot summer night when I picked her up and yes, God, our Creator, made those great-smelling honeysuckles that can change anyone's emotions from bored to very glad that they have a date at all.

And thank God for windows that can be rolled down. But that didn't stop her perfume from almost making me dizzy. And do you think that for one moment that I let my tongue get into high gear and say things that were so ignorant? No! I was desperate and managing to have a good time, but "Frankie's" perfume was about to put me down on the canvas.

We talked and talked and laughed during our time together. And somehow, I never mentioned her perfume. Somehow, again, God seen fit to allow me to get past her perfume. In my heart I was thanking Him. And oh, how I was thanking Him too for being with "Frankie."

Before we knew it, I had to take her home. I drove extra slow. Guys, did this impress you? What about the women readers? As I drove up and turned-off the car engine, we embraced and silently said our comments of having a good time, and get this. When she got out of my car, she stopped and looked so serious at me and say the following ..

"I meant to tell you that on our next date, I will wear some nice perfume." And with that, walked away leaving me dumbfounded.

There were a lot of different things that smelled running through my mnd. Things that she wore to substitute real female perfume. But I never asked what she wore when we went out. Not one time. I just focused on her warm personality and how much fun that we had.

Did you wear any cologne, Ken? You might ask. Sure! What kind of single 18-year old guy do you think that I am? As I dressed at home, I splashed almost a bottle of Brut. Need I say more?

Guys, Please pay Attention.

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© 2022 Kenneth Avery

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