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5 Ways to Break up With Someone

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Sadie loves to help others get through the ups and downs of relationships.


If you are thinking about breaking up with the person you are dating, you might be wondering how you should go about it. To simplify the process, I’ve broken down 5 different ways you can break up with someone.

How you choose to break up with them will depend on your unique relationship. For example, you probably can’t effectively ghost someone you’ve been dating for 5 years. We’ll walk you through the ways you can break up with someone from doing it in person to just disappearing on them.

Here are the 5 ways to break up with someone in order from best to worst.

In Person

Breaking up with someone in person is probably the most ethical way to do it. However, if you haven’t been dating long or you feel like you can’t deal with it, breaking up face-to-face might not be for you.

To break up with someone in person, you’ll need to set up a meeting time with them. This is where the “we need to talk” conversation comes in. They might already know what’s coming when you ask to meet and have a conversation.

Once you meet up, you let them know that you’re ending the relationship. Doing this in person lets them ask questions and you can both discuss your feelings. Hopefully the discussion ends well and you can both go your separate ways without too much grief.

However, this way also causes the most anxiety for some people because you never know how someone will react. Since you are right there with them, you won’t have as much time to think your responses through and some people even cave and walk away still in the relationship if the other person is persistent in trying to preserve it. Check out our guide on how to break up with someone in person for step-by-step guidance.

Over the Phone

Breaking up with someone over a phone call is pretty similar to doing it in person. You’ll need to either ask ahead of time when they can take a call or call them when you know they are alone and not busy.

Once you’re on the phone you’ll let them know that you want to break up. They might be surprised depending on how well they think the relationship has been going.

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While breaking up with someone this way is still nerve wracking, the worst they can do is yell or hang up. We like this option because it’s still personal enough, yet you’re in the safety of being somewhere else and not right in the line of fire.

Breaking up with someone over the phone.

Breaking up with someone over the phone.

With a Letter

Writing a letter is a good way to break up with someone if there is a lot you need to say. This is usually for people who have been in a long-term relationship. Writing all of your thoughts down ensures that you don’t miss something in a heated conversation that you won’t have closure on later.

You don’t actually have to mail the letter, but you can if you want. A lot of people hand it to the other person or drop it off somewhere they will find it, like at their doorstep. You can follow this same process with an email if you want to stay digital.

When writing the letter, let them know clearly that the relationship is over. You’ll want to include your reasoning and if you’ll allow further contact with them. We like this way of breaking up because you can say what you want exactly how you want to. However, it doesn’t leave them room to follow up or ask questions.

Through Text

A lot of people think breaking up with a text message is rude and thoughtless. However, we do think that there are times when it’s okay.

This method is best if you are ending a short relationship where you might not have a lot to say. If the person you are dumping is erratic, this is a safer approach. However, be prepared for phone calls or texts back with questions and thoughts from them.

We like breakup texts for relationships that have only lasted through a few dates. If you have a long-term relationship, we’d go with one of the methods above instead.


If you don’t want to have to go through the back and forth of explaining why you want to end things and defending your decision, you can simply just disappear from their life. This really doesn’t work if you’ve been in a long-term relationship and have mutual contacts, etc.

We really don’t recommend ghosting anyone. Unless the situation is dire and you need to be no-contact with them. This method doesn’t really allow either party to have proper closure and it’s just not a nice thing to do. However, it is effective and they will eventually get the hint.

Ghosting someone

Ghosting someone

Methods of Breaking Up

Now that you know the 5 methods of breaking up, you can choose which one works best for your situation. Ending a relationship is never fun. By choosing a clear method you can make the experience a little less overwhelming.

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