Thelma is a Filipina expat living in Germany. She is a very creative person, shares tips and DIY about anything she has done in life.
What is a friend?
Has it came to your mind who your friends are? I mean a real friend whom you can rely on? A friend who keeps contact to you whatever happens? For good and for bad times? It does not matter which part of the world where she or he lives as long as you still have contact to each other. The world is getting smaller everyday through internet. I am sure that it is not a problem nowadays.
I have been thinking for so long if I should write about friendship. Due to the encouragement of one of my close friends who is living almost four hundred kilometers from my place, I decided to write about it. With the hope that one of our "lost" friends can read it. It seems that she is getting very far away from us.
Well, I´m getting far now. I have to define first what a friend means to me. For me, a friend is somebody whom I can talk to and to whom I can communicate freely. The one who can accept me whatever and whoever I am with all my positive and negative nature. One who cares and respects me, be there for me (even only at the phone or at facebook) not only at happy moments but also at bad times. A friend who does not wait for me to call her, from time to time has the initiative to call me with her own free will, just to have a "nonsense" chat with me. One who not only listens to what I say about myself and my family but also tells me what is going on in her life. Because friendship is all about giving, taking and sharing each others life. A friend who does not wait to have reasons to call me.
Have you gifted your child with a book about friendship? This is a good book to give for special occasions as birthdays or for Christmas.
Different types of friends
1. A friend who is like a mother and a sister to me.
This friend of mine is a very long time friend whom I know for thirty years. We met in this foreign country, Germany when we were young, naive and fresh from the Philippines. We shared a lot of experiences from the beginning of our married lives and shared each others ideas and upbringing of our children in a country which culture and traditions are very far from our own. We respect each others opinions, give each other advices, cry and laugh about everything that we encounter in life. And yes, we also quarrel. But we talk about it. We share no grudges. This friend of mine loves to talk about the past. She talks about how she spent her childhood, college and working life in the Philippines. She loves to talk how our children were when they were still kids. She is the oldest friend I have in Germany. Although we are living far (ca.400 km.) from each other for maybe 20 years, we still have contact through phone calls and visit each other from time to time.
2. A friend who lives thousands of kilometers far away.
This is a friend I know now for around 25 years. Although she is not often in this country because she travels a lot, we still contact each other as often as we can. We share the same interests, tastes and we have the same likes and dislikes. She even bought my beautiful Philippine dress( which she tried on in the shop) for me, for the wedding of my son. When we meet, we have a good time talking and laughing about some anecdotes she collected from her travels. She and her family is like family to me. The last time we saw each other, tears came into our eyes. She lives thousands kilometers far away from me but she was always there for me when I needed her.
3. A very religious and positive friend
This is a friend of mine whom I consider to be an old friend for also 25 years. She lived in a town nearby but now lives in the south of Germany. She loved to dance belly dance. Like my friends above, we were sharing our happiness and problems in life. Exchanging our advices and respecting each others life styles. She had at least three skilled occupations since I knew her. Her life seems parallel to mine for like me, she keeps on moving somewhere to live and there are always changes in her life. She is very religious now and she practises meditation and positive thinking was always her way in life. She loves preaching as well. I have not seen her for I think five years but I´ll visit her next month. We have a lot of things to catch up.
4. A sister kind of friend
She became my friend when she came to Germany but I met her as a child of 11 years because she is the sister of my college board mate. She was the one who asked me in her innocent child voice, if I was not afraid to get married to a German who is so big. Fate was crossing our way again when she herself married a German. Since then we contacted each other, I gave her advices and I was there for her when she needed my assistance in life. She is not only a friend but also a younger sister to me. She lives also in the south about 11 hours car drive from our place. The distance that we have did not give problems to our communication. In fact, every time we see each other, she stays with us for a few weeks or I´m with her for a week .We enjoyed going to a spa treatment. I found it every emotional when she told me that she feels at home with me and my husband.
5. A friend who is so far but so very near.
This friend of mine is also a dear friend for almost 30 years. She is very funny that even when we talk through the phone , she makes me laugh until the tears came out of my eyes. She follows me everywhere I go, by calling me here and there more often as the others. She always wanted to visit me but find no time at all although I found out that she had times visiting other friends in other countries. That is why I said to her `I will see you when you are in front of me´. Like the rest of my close friends, she is one of a kind. In every way.
Note: I have only mentioned in this hub the oldest and closest friends that I have. Thank you my friends for being with me.
Map of Germany
Find Out Who Your Real Friends Are
Find out who your real friends are. It is not easy for you need time in finding that out. You´ll know who your real friends are when you are in bad times. The one whom you can always count on in good and especially in bad times. But remember, friendship is not a one sided relationship. You have to work for it, to be worth it, for the growth of it. Friendship is like a plant which needs watering and sunlight to grow.
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Thelma Alberts (author) from Germany on May 22, 2016:
Yes, there is no excuse anymore for our far away friends to have contact with us. Unless of course they would not like to contact us anymore and that is very sad. Through smartphone and skype we are able to connect with our friends and relatives wherever we are as long as there is internet connection or we can use free data like whatsapp and viper.
Thanks for your nice comment and enjoy your new week. Take care-
Glenn Stok from Long Island, NY on May 20, 2016:
This is a nice tribute to your friends. And it shows that there are all kinds of friends. I have only one who I knew for most of my life. But many others who came along later, have proven to be the best.
You're right about the Internet changing things. I lost touch with a couple of friends from college who went back home to their country long before the Internet. Snail mail just wasn't cut out for staying in touch very long, but today I have a friend in Israel and we use Skype to chat once in a while.
Today there's no excuse for far away friends to stay connected.
Thelma Alberts (author) from Germany on February 19, 2016:
You are very welcome BoriquaFlavorSoul . Same to you. Have a wonderful weekend!
Angelique Santos from Bronx, New York on February 19, 2016:
Thank you Thelma. Keep up the good work, your blogs are wonderful.
Thelma Alberts (author) from Germany on February 19, 2016:
Hello BoriquaFlavorSoul. True friends are there when you need help in times of trouble. When you need advice or just need somebody who will listen to you. I still have all those friends I mentioned above though the 2 of them are already retiring in my home country Philippines. For now, we see and talk to each other through Skype. I value those friendship and it should be always like that. Yes, you have to hold on to your true friends. If they are only there when you are happy and gone when you need somebody to talk to, then they are not your true friends. I hope your problems will be solve soon. Good luck and thanks for your wonderful comment.
Angelique Santos from Bronx, New York on February 17, 2016:
Hello Thelma,I decided to go through your Hub page since you visited mine. I think it is important to support one another's creativity. A real friend is defined to me as a person who will call you just to say hello and see how you are doing. I'm experiencing a really rough time right now with my boyfriend. We have been going through financial struggles for the past couple of years and it seems like we have no one around for support. I feel like the people that were there for us when things were going great have disappeared. It feels very lonely sometimes that we find ourselves discouraged and even crying at times. I started doing my blogging on this website to keep my mind occupied so I don't have to think of all the problems I have right now. I've been without a job for a year and it has taken a toll on my relationship, friendships and even family. Thank you for sharing this article, it has made me realize that friendships are not valuable anymore and people have to appreciate and hold on to their true friends because they come along once in a lifetime.
Thelma Alberts (author) from Germany on November 15, 2011:
Thank you soneblom for your stopping by and giving a comment.Have a nice day.
soneblom from South Africa on November 14, 2011:
Nice hub! enjoyed reding it. Vote up!
Thelma Alberts (author) from Germany on July 12, 2011:
Good morning shampa sadhya. A friend is really hard to find. It is good that your husband is your friend,too. We usually know who our friends are when we need help and in our bad times. Thanks for stopping by and giving me a wonderful comment. Have a nice day!
Shampa Sadhya from NEW DELHI, INDIA on July 12, 2011:
Voted up and beautiful. Really, a nice hub.
I do cherish the moments of my various friendships but after a point I find them not to be that real. It hurts but then I accept it as it comes with a feeling, may be that journey was destined till that time period only.
I consider myself to be very honest towards my friendships but may be my friendship is not required by my friends after a certain time limit so it just ends without a notice.
Well, 14 years have past when I have got a true friend in my husband, my elder sisters are true friends and for the last 14 years my husbands friends are my real friends cum sisters too.
Your hub inspires me to write on friendship some day. Good luck!
Thelma Alberts (author) from Germany on July 08, 2011:
Hello break up books! You are right. I am lucky to have those friends with me all through the years. They are indeed true friends. Thanks for stopping by and giving a comment. Have a nice day.
break up books on July 01, 2011:
Beautiful hub, I have always felt that if you can count your real friends on one hand, you are a very lucky and blessed person. Real friends who stick with you and support you through thick and thin are rare indeed.
Thelma Alberts (author) from Germany on June 30, 2011:
Hello shygirl2! Thanks for stopping by and giving me good comment. Yes, a good friend is hard to find. You are lucky with her and enjoy your friendship with each other. Good night.
shygirl2 on June 30, 2011:
Good hub, Thelma Alberts! : ) I like your description of a friend...'true friends' or what some might otherwise call a 'kindred spirit' or 'bossum buddy'. I have one said such friend, who meets all categories. I wouldn't trade him for the world! ; )
Thelma Alberts (author) from Germany on June 30, 2011:
Thank you marellen for reading and commenting my hub. Have a nice day.
marellen on June 30, 2011:
Nice article....I agree with who you call a friend, I feel the same way....