With the amount of awareness and education given, why is domestic violence still increasing? This is a question one may be curious about. Firstly, let's define the term "domestic violence"
what is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is defined as the behavior used by an abusive partner to maintain power and control over another in an intimate relationship, thereby controlling the partner's mind and emotions.
WARNING SIGNS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, nearly 50% of intimate relationships experience some form of domestic violence. Sometimes, when we think of domestic violence, we typically think of someone being beaten up, but the fact is that it is not always a physical act.
Know that when you see the signs of domestic violence, you can as well see its pattern. In domestic violence, physical abuse occurs almost always and it's preceded by emotional abuse.
Most of these signs go unnoticed unless you know what they are. It is seen or noticed that abusive relationships often begin as an incredibly intense and passionate love affair with people who seem perfect, that is why it's not always easy to tell if a relationship will become abusive in the early stage.
The abuse usually creeps up slowly. This is also why you may not notice these signs in the early stages of your relationship.
A big red flag of domestic violence is when you find yourself being afraid of your partner, or you are scared of saying what you think or feel, or you are scared of saying no to sex. These are red flags because no matter the reason, fear has no place in a healthy relationship.
The following are some warning signs of domestic violence.
1. Rushing into commitment: This is when your newly started relationship starts moving so fast. For example, the man tells you to marry him only after a few weeks of dating.
2. The isolation and control: Your partner is someone who loves controlling you and your movements. He doesn't allow you to spend time with friends, family, or people you love.
3. He controls your behavior: He detects what you should always wear, he detects what type of job you should do and shouldn't. He doesn't ever allow you to express yourself and to do what you love. He, therefore, criticizes what you do, wear or think.
4. You find yourself having to agree to whatever your partner says, right or wrong because they don't tolerate less.
5. They blame you for every bad thing that happens to them.
6. They make you feel guilty for things you have no control over.
7. Nothing you do seems to please them. It doesn't matter how much you try to be pleasing to them, it just seems to never work. They find it difficult to give you credit for what you did right and are always quick to judge your wrong deeds.
8. They give you unrealistic expectations and tell you what you should and shouldn't be doing. They believe they know you more than you know yourself and your life.
9. Excessive gifts and love-bombing: He leaves you small love notes, sends you sweet texts, and he bombards you with gifts. This creates a foundation where any complaints by the new partner come up, he brings accusations up telling you how ungrateful and greedy you are. They begin to say things like "after all I have done for you, this is how you treat me?".
10. Hypersensitivity and Jealousy: This is when the abusive partner overreacts to every little thing like little comments, jokes, or small issues. These abusive partners possess low self-esteem and they take everything personally.
11. Abusers think Men are always better than Women: He tends to have a strict view of gender roles. He thinks he is smarter than his female colleagues, he thinks his career is more important than your career, he thinks women don't always have reasonable things to say, that women are not so smart or intelligent. He thinks women are not able to function fully without a relationship.
12. He limits your phone use.
13. Abusers have low self-esteem and are insecure: They are always curious to know about anybody you speak with. He's jealous of the time you spend with your friends. He doesn't like you to meet coworkers after work for happy hour, he doesn't like you going shopping with girlfriends, and heaven forbid you have any platonic relationships with men. He frequently calls and texts to check up on you when you're out without him.