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Understanding What Women Want and How to Keep Them Interested

Evie Sparkes is a published novelist, content writer, and company director from the UK.


What do Women Really Want?

Women aren't all that complicated really. One of the most important things to us is communication. We want to be listened to, we want to know that we can talk to you if we need to, and we want you to at least try and understand us, even if you are baffled most of the time. We get it actually, we know that we demand a lot sometimes. We know that you aren't like us, that you don't think as we do, yet we can't help feel aggrieved when you make it so damned obvious.

Be Interested

One thing that destroys relationships over time is disinterest. I mean, no desire to hear anything we have to say and a total lack of interest in our day. Women love a man that takes the time to ask about their day, what they've been up to, whether they still have that headache they had a couple of days ago.

I love it when a guy remembers things and asks me a question on the subject. Showing interest in her means that you value what she has to say and care about what she does. My gorgeous cousin never ceases to impress me with his memory of stuff I have told him months previously. He'll ask how a particular event I may have been telling him about went. He'll show genuine interest in everything I say and whether he actually gives a toss or not, it appears that he does and that's all a woman needs because it shows that you have actually listened to us and not just glazed over and nodded in all of the right places.


Text us First

Women love a guy that texts out of the blue. Spontaneous texts fill us with joy, especially at the start of a relationship. It shows that you are thinking about us and it makes us feel all special and teenagerish.

Make it fun. Don't ask us to pick you up a four-pack of lager or some toilet roll. Just a cute short text showing the love will do it. You see, I told you that we weren't all that complicated.

Short and sweet is best. It gives us a buzz but doesn't bore us by the time we get to the end. A few of these random texts during the week will really help to keep her into you.

Don't Worry About Other Guys

There is no need to worry about other guys. She is with you, she likes you and maybe she's even starting to love you a little bit. Don't go and ruin it all by being all jealous and paranoid because she's at the pub with her mate James who she's known since primary school. It doesn't mean that she's lost interest in you. It just makes her a fun loving sociable woman, who mixes well with both sexes. She'll be good at parties!

Jealousy is such a turn off. Sure, it might appeal to her vanity once or twice, but that's the limit. Women don't want to be scared to talk to members of the opposite sex for fear of a row or worse still, a mood.

Don't Sulk

I can't stand sulky, moody men! Seriously, it's a deal breaker. That doesn't just go for men either. I can't abide a moody woman either.

Tell me what the point of a mood is? It serves no purpose. She won't suddenly come round to your way of thinking. She might pretend she has the first few times, just to keep-the-peace, but she won't have really. She'll soon start moaning about you to her mates and they'll tell her to ditch you.

If you have a problem then get it out there by all means. It certainly is good to talk. It isn't good however, to bear a two-week grudge and mope about as if the world is about to end and it's all her fault.

Cook For Us Sometimes

We love a man that can cook. We don't expect you to do it all of the time, but an offer every now and again is greatly appreciated. It doesn't really matter if you are rubbish at it to be honest. The mere fact that you are prepared to have a go is enough for most women.

There is something about a guy taking the effort to cook for us that makes us smile inside and out.

Leave Your Gadgets Alone

Seriously. I get it, men love gadgets and computery things, things that ding and buzz to tell you how many steps you've taken and all that stuff. That's fine, but don't let your gadgets come first. Don't ignore her in favour of some app or other.

That goes for your Playstation or you Xbox, or anything else that takes your attention away for hours on end. Do that on your own time, not ours.

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Man Jokes Aren't All That Funny

You now those jokes that do the rounds on social media. The one's aimed at men because women don't really do jokes. You see, there it is. Women don't love jokes like you do. We don't want you to call each and every one that your mate has sent you that day because he has nothing better to do. It's fine, we understand that they make you laugh. We don't have a problem with that, we just don't care. I mean, we really don't care and we don't want to have to force out a laugh just to please you.

Making It Last

All women want is consideration and love. How simple is that? If you love us and care about what happens to us, then we'll love you right back. That and good sex, but that's another article.


Evie Sparkes (author) on November 28, 2019:

Love this Rosella, spot on :)

Roselle Dala Cagaitan on November 28, 2019:

Love yourself. Being comfortable with who you are means you'll be a happier partner.

Communicate. ...

Be honest. ...

Give each other some space. ...

Agree to disagree. ...

Forgive and ask for forgiveness. ...

Support each other. ...

Talk about sex…openly and honestly.

Evie Sparkes (author) on November 18, 2019:

Haha! Well of course, these articles are a bit tongue in cheek but do come from chatting to lots of women!

dashingscorpio from Chicago on November 17, 2019:

One of the biggest mistakes any man can make is to assume (all) women want the same thing from men.

We've all heard the old adage: "Nice guys finish last."

However no one has ever heard of the "lonely player, bad boy, narcissist, a-hole, jerk, alpha male, or gangster."

These guys never end up any woman's "friend zone" either.

Do you think that is a coincidence? No!

There are women you could stick in a room with five guys and have four of them drop to their knees extending their heart towards them while the 5th guy sits in a corner sipping a cocktail acting as if they don't exist.

That will be the guy they want to get to know!

He's a mystery, a challenge, someone who will keep them guessing about how he feels about them and if they learn other women want to be with him it just makes his stock rise higher.

These women have to prove to themselves they can win him over. Love which comes easily/effortlessly has less value.

Sure they'll complain about him, call him names, cry over him and even tell their platonic male friends how men should treat women. Nevertheless the type of guy they (claim) they want is rarely ever the type of guy they (choose) to be with!

I once saw a young lady on a dating show downplay the importance of compatibility in a relationship. She said:

"I need to be with someone who will (challenge me) and MAKE me grow." Cleary she's not the only woman who feels that way! :)

Evie Sparkes (author) on November 16, 2019:

I don't think I'd describe sulky as awful Paul. It's a personal thing. I just don't believe in holding a grudge about anything. It's more moodiness I don't like. Sulking is a little more acceptable I guess :)

Evie Sparkes (author) on November 16, 2019:

I think that's perfectly natural Okello. Many people dislike public displays of affection. You are probably a private person and that's okay :)

Okello Ronald Bonny on November 16, 2019:

I fear public kisses for real, I don't know whether am too shy or because am still single why am like that.

Paul Sears from Fort Worth Texas on November 15, 2019:

i didn't know men were more gadget friendly then women, thanks for that. i like the word sulky, it could mean so many things, but you describe it as something dirty and awful, i appreciate that. cooking food for you or someone else, could be sexy, but don't ask. text someone hello, it's free, it's heartless, don't wait for disney endings. all people want consideration. don't make it a sexist thing.

Evie Sparkes (author) on November 15, 2019:

Sounds good Dora :)

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on November 14, 2019:

Good read. Good insights! Will also make for a good discussion in a friends' group. Thank you.

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