Treat Your Man Like a King If You Want to be Treated Like a Queen
Are you single, hoping to meet someone and have a blissful marriage? Are you already in a relationship contemplating marriage? Maybe you are newly married, and you are still bashing in the warmth of happy marriage or you are married for years and you are feeling devastated from effects of troublesome marriage? Do you want recognition of your true worth by your partner? Do you want a feeling that you are important in your marriage? Do you crave for sincere appreciation? Then, treat your man like a king, if you want to be treated like a queen.
Most contemporary women try to run away from life when it gets hard forgetting the vow they took on their wedding day; “for better for worse”. They believe if they disagree with their partners, they should get another one, forgetting that conflict is inevitable in all relationships. Sometimes, your partner may offend you, but what matters is how these disagreements are dealt with. Sometimes you are so frustrated with your spouse that you deal with the right issue in the wrong way or at the wrong time, which can only make matters worse. The way you deal with your disagreements with your partner will show if your relationship is healthy or unhealthy.
To get started, i think it will be helpful if I share this story that will shed some light on the relevance of this topic.
After graduation, John’s goal was to get a good job and marry a fine lady and settle down. Luckily, upon graduation from college, he was given a job in an oil company and was sent to serve in Texas.. He was happy for the new and better life that opened up for him. After a year, he married Tina, a girl he met in the university.
At first John was happy with Tina, but as months pass, he started seeing her flaws. John liked to be punctual to events, but Tina was not always time conscious. She had spent much of her life running late and not seeing it as being inconsiderate. Most times, John will spend a long time sitting in the car, waiting for her to join him. Sometimes, his clothes will be soaked with sweat and will be boiling with frustration; when Tina will join him. Sometimes, he was just too frustrated and ended up blowing up and hurting her feelings. This was how the conflicts that nearly ended their marriage started.
Most nights, Tina will lie in bed angry, bitter, and physically distant with her back turned towards John. After Tina rejected many of his sexual advances, he felt unloved, unwanted and undesired. Eventually he simply stopped seeking to be intimate. He started dating other women. When he returned home in the evenings, he started to look away disinterested and disconnected. He felt trapped, confused, and at a loss to know what in the world he would do with Tina. He refused to contemplate divorce because he still loved Tina.
When Tina noticed his cheating, her bitterness grew. She did things to sabotage their relationship, like refusing to cook, staying emotionally distant and serving others’ needs obsessively. She knew what she was doing was wrong but she wasn’t ready to stop. Communication was at an all-time low as was their intimacy. They dealt with their conflict differently; he chose silence, while Tina chose harsh words. Nothing got resolved. Fear, lies, and discontentment all kept them from intimacy. They were together but were both lonely. She called her mother daily and complained of John. She spent holidays, birthdays and vacations with her side of the family. After a few months, Tina decided to retaliate, she started to date a man close to her office.
Tina’s mother advised her daughter against her action to no avail.”To avoid thinking of adultery, each time an evil thought enters your mind, make the effort to think something else. Try to live in peace with your husband. When you offend your husband, you give excuses but when he offends you, you want him to apologize,” her mother scolded her. “Learn to compromise. Not every argument is a challenge that needs to be won. There is maturity in apologizing when you’re wrong. Respect your differences. Consider your husband’s needs and desires above your own.”
John was very disappointed about the way Tina behaved but assumed that in time things would improve. Sadly, they did not. Bitterness and condemnation worsened.
Then one day, Tina told her mother that she has decided to kill John so she can marry another man and asked for her assistance.
“Why must you kill him, if you don’t want to marry him again, go ahead and divorce him.”
“John will not want divorce and i have found another man I love. Moreover, divorce cases are always messy.”
Her mother warned her about the consequences of her criminal intention; but she persisted. Her mother felt if she didn’t do something, Tina might kill her husband and involve the family in a serious problem, so she agreed to help..Being her only child, she knew that Tina was selfish right from childhood. She and Tina’s father cantered their lives around her being their only child. She did not have to share toys, room, and life with siblings. As a result, her selfish attitude continued till she got married, expecting her spouse to serve her humbly, only to find that John was expecting the same thing. Conflict ensued along with disappointment and frustration.
She brought out a yellow powdered substance and gave it to Tina. She warned her that it will be risky for her husband to die suddenly. She may be a suspect. She insisted it must be a gradual process. Tina was advised to add a small quantity of the powder to her husband’s food daily so that her husband’s health will deteriorate gradually before his inevitable death. Tina was happy. Her mother told her that she had to be amiable to her husband so that he will agree to eat the food she will serve him since she has not been cooking for him. Try to do those things he likes. This will make him unsuspicious and his death will be quicker.”
She did as her mother instructed her. Her husband was surprised the way Tina had changed all of a sudden. She welcomed him back from work with a smile, helped him to carry his suitcase to their bedroom. She served his dinner with smiles. He wondered, what made Tina change her selfish and aggressive attitude, but decided not to ask. After a week, he decided to surprise his repented wife. He transferred one hundred thousand dollars to her account.
Tina was surprised when she received the alert in her phone. When her husband returned from work that evening, she asked if he mistakenly transferred one hundred thousand dollars to her account. But the husband responded that he deliberately transferred the money to her account for her to buy whatever she liked.
Tina was dumbfounded and thanked him. As she continued being amiable in order to accomplish her plan, her husband reciprocated by being more lovely and showered her with gifts. A week after she started adding the yellow powder to her husband’s food Tina rushed to her mother to intimate her of the latest development.
“Mom, what do i do? I don’t want my husband dead any longer. He has changed. He has been treating me recently with a lot of affection. Please what do i do to neutralize that medicine, I have been putting in his food?”
“The medicine is harmless. It is turmeric powder. Rather than kill him, it will make him stronger. I am your mother and I know you have a wilful, stubborn, rebellious and selfish attitude. You don’t show your husband proper respect. You argue with him over minor issues, things you should let go. Selfish people who divorce without dealing with their selfishness, then remarry will repeat their selfishness with the new partner and the chances are high that they will divorce yet again. This is because the selfish person who changes his/her spouse has not changed his/her selfish attitude. So running away to another man will not have solved your problem but learning to be humble was all you needed. That is why when you treated your husband with respect, he reciprocated. The greatest barrier to perform your roles as a lovely wife is pride. Without humility and compromise, conflict in marriage is inevitable.”
Tina was crying when her mother finished explaining how she saved her marriage from collapse. She started to prepare early, not trying to squeeze one more thing in before she walked out of the door to meet her husband. They became closer. Tina started to initiate talk about sex and wore sexy night gowns to bed.
When you make it plain to your partner that you are infallible; that you are absolutely right, and he is absolutely wrong, you have created room for conflict. Having all or nothing attitude is wrong. You will never agree on everything and because of this compromise is absolutely inevitable.
The painful truth is that most marriages end because of selfishness of one or both spouses. The key to a marriage of bliss, fidelity, oneness and love is to remove selfishness from your attitudes
.Communication is the determining factor of success for every relationship. Listen to your husband with open-mind, rather than holding onto your own wishes and immediately shooting down his own wishes
Who do you think your husband will rather spend time with; you who never say thanks or acknowledge his efforts to please you or someone who is considerate and makes him feel special? Sadly, this is one of the reasons many men look outside of their marriage for someone who will put them in the top spot. Always express your appreciation for what your husband have done for you. Appreciating your husband’s efforts will increase his feeling of self-worth. You may be doing a great job with your kids but ignore your husband’s needs. If you don’t treat your husband like a king, how can you expect to be treated like a queen?
Reassure your husband of your feelings for him not only in words but by actions. Show interest in your husband’s career and support him. Encourage him when he feels like giving up on his dreams and praise him when he accomplishes his goals. Many couples are getting divorced because one or both of them feel as though the other person never thinks about him or her needs. You may spend a lot of time in the day browsing the internet with your phone rather than spend quality time with your husband. It is a kind gesture to compare both of your schedules to see if it’s possible to spend more time together. Your willingness to compromise is enough to make your husband happy. Maybe you can wake earlier to get your kids ready so that you can be ready for an event you want to attend with your husband in time. You spend a lot of time with your kids, pets, hobbies and friends ignoring your husband. Show how much you love your husband by hugging him, holding his hand when on a stroll, speak well of him to your friends and family. Remind him of appointments.
You cannot live together without offending one another. Sometimes it’s difficult to admit you are wrong. Whenever, you are wrong, acknowledge so and seek for his forgiveness. The best outcome of conflict is the strengthening of your relationship, so make sure conflicts end peacefully and not as unresolved issues. Don’t try to work things out when your husband is angry. Wait till his temper has cooled down.
There is no healthy marriage without the exercise of support. Don’t gossip and slander of your husband. There is nothing that destroys a man’s self-esteem than to hear his wife cutting down his efforts to support his family. Casually lift your husband up in the presence of other people. Tell others about something nice your husband did for you. The reward of treating your husband like a king apart from being treated like a queen is harmony, agreement, a healthy sex life, and peaceful mind free from fears, agitating passions, and emotional instability.