Deborah is an enthusiastic fellow when it comes to marriage and relationship and like to help young couples get it right in their love life.
Top Seven reasons not to marry a man if he has these characters
Marriage is a life assignment and most careful homework must be done before indulging into marriage. It is true that he who finds a good wife finds a good thing, but it is not only men who should be careful when searching for a life partner. Women too should check out for a man that can be called a husband, father and leader.
Women should be good wife material, but a bad tailor can spoil a good material. Most women enter into marriage hoping that their partners whom they saw that negative character during courtship will change when she marries them, but it doesn’t work that way. In fact, men don’t work that way.
Here are the seven reasons why you shouldn't marry a man with these characters
If he is insecure financially: if a man is uncomfortable when you are climbing the ladder of success, then that is a red light. Men have ego, yes, but they usually have issues with you if you bruise their ego; for instance, if you discredit him or are unappreciative for what he does or how he’s trying to please you and make you happy. But in cases where he is angry and jealous because you have more money than he does or are progressing more than him, then that’s bad. If you try to shrink your light and success because you don’t want to annoy you boyfriend, always worrying that he will take your success the wrong way, it’s the wrong way to start your married life.
Do not marry a man that is insecure
If he is a Mama’s boy: this is kind of funny but such people exist. If a man has to tie everything he is doing to his mummy, it shows signs of immaturity. Such a person has to take permission from his mother to do something for himself, he is easily influenced by people’s opinion, he can’t take any decisions for himself, he always needs mummy to help in his life. Now, this is not saying that your man should be disobedient to his mother, but he should be able to stand up for himself, for his family and will not support any external control.
Do not marry a man that’s a Mama’s boy
For this reason shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife.
If he is abusive: abusive relationship does not only finish in the physical, it goes down to emotional and psychological wellbeing. When a man starts advancing threatening towards you, is a sign of an abusive relationship; he may not have hit you but it will surely happen in the future. A man who has to hit a wall, smash something or feels a need to hit something when he is angry is a red light. You need to quit that relationship.
Do not say that, 'it is his nature; he will not hit me.' By the time there is nothing to hit, your face is the next. Noticing this sign and quitting now is the best way to save yourself from an abusive marriage.
If he doesn’t bring the best in you: women love to be pampered and I tell you, we adore it. There is no issue in a case where a man pampers you but does he correct you when you are wrong? When a man starts to align with your tears and feels that everything you do is alright, then you are not in a good situation. He is afraid of your tears so he tells you, you are right even when you are wrong. He is not challenging you to indulge in things to make you better. He is not being the leader he should be but gradually becoming a follower.
Inasmuch as you may like pampering, do not marry a man who is a follower and not a leader.
If he cannot give: Stinginess is withholding what you have or possess from someone else. Stinginess, if not properly checked can lead to a man thinking that he is doing the lady a favor when really, it’s his responsibility. This case of stinginess is not only rated in money alone. It is also associated with his business, his success, his properties. How does he treat his properties with you? His car is his car and his laptop is his laptop.
If he is a man of, ‘to your tent, oh ye Israel,’ i.e. everybody be on your own, don’t marry him
If he is unfaithful: if you check through many statistics on unfaithfulness during relationship and after marriage, it is seen that the majority of gender likely to be unfaithful to their partners is the man. Now this is not judgmental but is actually realistic. If you are dating a man and you notice he is unfaithful to you; he is always out with other girls or brings home girls, not minding if you are hurting, this is the best time to walk out of that relationship. Thinking that when he marries you, he will stop, it’s a No. Faithfulness to a partner doesn’t begin when marriage starts, it begins at courtship. Please, don’t marry a man who is unfaithful to you. It doesn’t only have emotional disadvantage but it has high risk of health issues like HIV.
If he cannot control his jealousy: this is one of the most severe character you must run away from if you notice. A man who cannot control his jealousy when you are around your male colleges at work or if you are getting more attention from your friends than he does, could be very brutal.
Do not marry a man who cannot control his jealousy.
Things you notice before marriage are what can determine how your marriage is going to be. There is no crime in backing out of an abusive relationship. You may just be saving your life.
© 2022 Deborah Osadjere