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Top 11 Reasons Why Men Cheat

Top 11 Reasons Why Men Cheat


"Don't Stay and Betray, Instead Walk Away."

To Women,

What is important to keep in mind when learning why men cheat, is to remember it is NEVER YOUR FAULT. Below are 5 reasons why you should never feel at fault in any way because your man cheated on you.

  1. You cannot change what you aren't even aware of. Many men do not even communicate with their partner what issues they have, they instead look elsewhere to satisfy their needs. Often, you aren't even given the opportunity to meet certain needs of your partner, that you don't even know he feels is lacking in the relationship.
  2. It is not your fault some of his needs aren't being met. If you are being the same person that he met in the beginning, it is not your fault that his needs have changed, that what you are offering is suddenly not good enough.
  3. Some people drift apart where their needs change over time, and couple's simply no longer get along and want the same things. People can grow and change where the relationship just doesn't work any longer. It is no one's fault, it is what it is.
  4. If you don't want to change to meet his newly requested needs, it is not your fault. You should let him go to find someone who is willing and capable of meeting his current needs.
  5. There is no excuse of anything you did that could justify him cheating. Don't let him try to convince you that he is justified in cheating because of anything you have done, that you are at fault due to some sort of inadequacy.

What are 11 reasons why men cheat?

  1. He isn't happy in his current relationship.
  2. He doesn't resist temptation well.
  3. He is immature.
  4. He seeks attention.
  5. He thinks you are cheating.
  6. He isn't sexually satisfied.
  7. He isn't feeling valued.
  8. He isn't feeling desired.
  9. He enjoys his Ego stroked.
  10. He feels under-stimulated.
  11. He is a selfish narcissist.

1) He isn't happy in his current relationship.

The most common reason a man cheats is because he simply isn't happy in his current relationship. If a man isn't happy in his current relationship, he shouldn't automatically look elsewhere for some of his needs to be met by cheating.

He should at least communicate with his woman what his issues are, why he is unhappy, and give her the opportunity to see if she is willing to attempt to try and meet his requested needs and/or make compromises that will make him happy. If she can't/won't meet these needs, then he should leave her, not stay and betray her, seeking other women to fulfill the needs she does not. A woman at least deserves the chance to know that her man is not happy, and have a conversation about what he says will make him happy, and if she would be willing to make certain changes and compromises, where the relationship may work so they could both be happy together. She can't fix a problem she doesn't even know about. And if a man isn't happy in certain ways, shouldn't he at least give his woman a chance to try and make him happy in these ways before looking for happiness from other women in those certain areas? It's one thing if she can't/won't meet these needs, then she may not be the woman for him, if he is unhappy without these needs being met. But she at least should be told there is a problem, and be given a chance to fix it, before a man steps out on her.

Cheating is never the answer. Either a man should leave and find a woman that does meet all his needs that makes him happy, or he doesn't commit, and seeks out what he needs from multiple women, that know there isn't commitment upfront, and agree to casual relations where everyone's needs are met.

If he just doesn't want to be with her anymore, she just doesn't make him happy anymore, then he should walk away and let her go. Some reasons a man may not be happy in a relationship include:

  • Sometimes two people are just not right for each other.
  • There are times when the relationship is just not in a good place.
  • Sometimes two people have grown apart over time.
  • He may be going through a transition in his life.
  • He is sticking around for certain reasons, but isn't in love with or wants to be with his woman.

A transition a man may be going through in life can include, "a midlife crisis," or other significant life changing events, such as becoming a parent, becoming an empty nesting parent, a parent becoming sick and moving in, losing a parent, retiring, and other similar circumstances that a person can go through that can be very stressful transitions in life.

Certain reasons a man can stay with a woman he is unhappy with or not in love with include:

  • Having kids together.
  • Having financial ties together.
  • Having religious stipulations and pressure to remain together.

These are absolutely important reasons why a couple should try very hard and do all in their power to make a relationship work. But there is no reason good enough to stay with a partner that doesn't make you happy, nor cheat on a partner because they aren't meeting all of your needs. Leave.

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2) He doesn't resist temptation well.

Some men are not the ones to seek out and initiate cheating. With some men, they are just too weak to resist temptation. If a woman would not have hit on him, than he never would have sought out someone to cheat with.

Maybe he isn't happy with his relationship at the time where he was in a weak position for a while. Maybe one day during this time he was at the bar drinking away his troubles, he just so happened to be approached by a woman. Where he allowed a temporary affair. Maybe he was drinking one night, after fighting with his woman, and it only happened one time, where he instantly felt regrets after, and never did so again. But it's still not excusable. No reason why he couldn't resist temptation is excusable. Even if there was only one encounter of cheating, one moment of weakness, then that is still one time too many. What happens if there are more rough times, and he is approached during these times?

A lot of men will get angry when women bait them with fake social media profiles, or have friends reach out to tempt them. Saying that if they wouldn't have been tempted they never would have cheated. They can't get angry they were tested, because they should pass any test, any way, any time, by any person. They only have themselves to blame. They shouldn't be taking their anger out on their woman because they were tested, they should be angry with themselves for failing. She has every right to feel angry that her man would possibly betray her if tempted.

This was a perfect opportunity for a man to prove how trustworthy he is, and to help rid his woman of any insecurities she may have. Because with some people, trust is not given, but EARNED. And there is nothing wrong with that. He should have no issue proving he can be trusted, and that he will be faithful. Yet instead, he has now proven that if any woman may flirt with him, he may give in to temptation, and reciprocate her advances by cheating.

Why do you think you should deserve some kind of credit for not being the one to seek out and instigate the cheating? That's ridiculous. It's like saying, "I follow my diet entirely without cheating, as long as I am not offered anything sweet or fattening." (I follow my diet as long as I am not tempted to cheat).

No one wants to be in a relationship that they have to babysit/track/stalk their man, and not let their man out of their sight, because he cant be trusted to resist temptation. That's like having a child to look after instead of a partner. It's a hassle for both parties involved, and many women including myself would say it's just not worth it, and if you can't be trusted when I'm not around then we can't be together. Period. Men, if roles were reversed and the woman couldn't be trusted to resist temptation when you weren't around, would you want to stay with her? Of course not.


3) He is immature.

Some men are just not yet old enough and mature enough to be in a serious committed relationship. Often men take some time to get through their "young and dumb" phase, before they are ready to settle down in a committed relationship to one woman. We can all take time to grow and mature. Often women will mature quicker before men. This can be why many women will date men a bit older than they are. Because men often want to "play the field" in their younger years, and take some time to become established and want to settle down and commit to one woman.

If a guy is not mature enough to be in a committed relationship, you need to let him be, to live his life and have his fun, and take time to grow, where he will one day be ready for a committed relationship. You can't force anyone to grow up according to your preferred pace, on your desired schedule. Even if he really cares about you, and doesn't want to lose you, it doesn't mean he has the ability to do right by you. Not even he can force himself to grow up and change over night. Maybe he wants to treat you right, and has the best of intentions, but it doesn't mean he is capable of doing so.

Often signs of immaturity are men putting themselves in bad positions. The young single man's life. Going out with friends to parties, bars, clubs, and strip clubs. A man in a serious committed relationship, living a single man's life with his single friends. Some men are strong enough and smart enough to still make good decisions no matter what the circumstances. When put in situations of temptation, they will either leave or properly resist. But not every guy does this, especially young guys. In environments of temptation around alcohol and women, young guys don't always make great decisions.

It can get to a point where the majority of nights a week, or every night a week, or every weekend, a woman asks her man, "what are you sorry for doing this time?" "In what way did you screw up last night?" A women can only tolerate apologies without changes for so long. Maybe he cares about his woman enough to change, so he won't lose her, and stop putting himself in particular situations. Or change circumstances of certain situations, to where he makes better choices. Where he goes, Who he's with, What he does. But many times he just isn't mature enough and old enough and at a point in his life where he is ready and capable of having a serious committed relationship.


4) He seeks attention.

Attention can be very important to receive in a relationship. Everyone needs attention within a relationship from their partner to a certain extent. How much attention a person needs, and how that attention is needed to be given, can vary from person to person. Some people need more attention than others. Sometimes people are not receiving attention in all the ways they need it. Sometimes a couple can communicate to each other how they need attention from one another and will be able to meet each others needs. Commonly, relationships can grow "stale" after time, where one does not give their partner as much attention as they used to, and needs to dedicate more time to each other. Or how their partner gives attention is not as exciting as it once was, and the couple needs to switch things up in ways to make it interesting again.

There are a few ways in which a man will cheat regarding his need for attention.

  • He is not receiving enough attention within the relationship.
  • He is not receiving the type of attention in the ways he needs.
  • He is a person that seeks constant attention from others.
  • He isn't a person that attention from one person/partner will ever be enough.
  • He never stops/turns away attention from others.

When it comes to a man not receiving enough attention within a relationship, sometimes, with communication, a couple can work things out, where the woman can find ways to give the man the attention that he needs. Sometimes, a man is an attention seeker that will never be satisfied enough from the attention of one person. Some men may not seek attention from others, but would never turn away or put a stop to anyone giving them attention; they enjoy it too much.

Some people only consider cheating to be through sex and physical intimacy. I would consider this emotional cheating, because a person is still seeking something outside of the relationship, having certain needs met by someone else outside of the relationship, that he should be content and fulfilled only getting from you. To some people, emotional cheating can actually be worse than physical, because emotional cheating can involve a romantic connection many times, and sex is not always done with emotional connections between two people. It can be more hurtful to some women if emotional feelings are involved between their man and another woman, rather than just a lust driven sexual encounter.

Also, often emotional cheating is the first step leading to physical intimacy. Some times the only reason emotional cheating occurred without leading to physical intimacy is because:

  • He was caught early on before a physical encounter could occur.
  • There was yet to be an opportunity in which a physical encounter could occur.
  • The woman denied wanting things to become physical when he asked.

Men can sometimes try to argue that "It wasn't cheating because it never got physical." I feel this is an absurd argument, where it is obvious the only reason it never became physical is because he got caught early, opportunity hadn't presented itself yet, or the woman turned it down. Yet, they feel it should make a difference and they should get cut slack because of it. If he would have had his way, then a physical encounter would have occurred. So, just because circumstances prevented this from happening, doesn't mean he should receive some sort of credit that it didn't occur.

That's like going to the Ice Cream Parlor, ordering a Sundae, being told they are out of ingredients to serve this, and coming home saying, "Yeah I stuck to my diet today." You want credit for sticking to your diet, when if you would have had your way, you would have broken it. Circumstances prevented you from "cheating," when you attempted to do so. You don't deserve any credit that the cheating didn't occur.

How is your woman supposed to trust that if given the opportunity to cheat, that you wouldn't take it and that you would turn it down? What you haven't done does not matter at this point, but rather that the trust is destroyed, where one doesn't know what you are capable of doing in the future.

So, even if you are a person that doesn't consider anything that isn't physical/sexual intimacy to be cheating, then attention seeking behavior is still often the first step to setting up a physical encounter many times.


5) He thinks you are cheating.

It's one thing if your man truly honestly thinks you are cheating. But beware of the game he may try to play just because he was caught cheating, and may be throwing out false accusations about you just to try and justify what he's done. Especially if he has been busted red handed, with no way of denying that he's cheating, then justifying why he is cheating may likely be his next move. For example:

  1. He may claim that the only reason he is cheating, is because he thought you were cheating.
  2. He may claim that if he didn't think you were cheating, that he would have never cheated. That he only did it out of hurt and retaliation.
  3. He may try to shift the focus of him being caught cheating, to him describing how hurt he is at the thought of you cheating, and asking you to defend false accusations why he thinks you are cheating.
  4. He tries to claim his cheating is justified because of yours. Allegedly.
  5. Conveniently, he says he will forgive and let go of your supposed cheating, if you forgive and let go of his.

This is a pure manipulation tactic, where he doesn't actually think you are cheating; he is saying what he thinks he should say to try and get away with his own cheating.

A couple ways to try and figure out whether or not he genuinely thinks you are cheating include:

  • Do his accusations seem logical and believable, where it could be truly possible that the accusations he is throwing out about you could make him think you were cheating?
  • The biggest way to tell whether or not he actually thought you were cheating, is asking him to explain why if he thought you were cheating, he never brought up the accusations before, as they were happening. If he was truly bothered by certain things and thought you may be cheating, why did he never share the accusations with you before now?

With me, this is a huge issue either way, whether he thinks I was actually cheating or not. Because if he did think I was actually cheating, then the issues should have been brought up and discussed at the time they were occurring. Instead, the way he claims to have gone about things, is rather than bring up any problems with me he had, and us work through them, where I explain and put to rest any thoughts of infidelity he may have, he instead chose to run with it, and use it as an excuse for him to cheat.

So to me, the way he chose to problem solve and go about things is not acceptable, if he actually thought I was cheating. Instead of communicating like adults to work through issues, he chose to be childish and petty, and retaliate against me. At the end of the day, whether you thought I was cheating on you or not, cheating on me meant more to you than possibly losing me.

So even if he did think I was cheating, now I have to worry that anytime he may think I am cheating, his way of dealing with it is not communicating and working it out, but rather petty retaliation. What if he deals with all problems this way? I don't want to be in a relationship with a partner who solves issues by going tit for tat.

The main issue I have, is either way, the bottom line, is that the trust is demolished, and the relationship is not salvageable. Whether you thought I was cheating or not, your cheating is unacceptable to me, that was never the answer, and in no way can you justify it. As well as, if you really think I cheated, the relationship is destroyed, because I won't be with a man who doesn't trust me, and thinks I am capable of cheating on him.


6) He isn't being sexually satisfied.

This is the reason why every woman thinks a man cheats. Because of sex. And sometimes it is. Reasons a man may not be sexually satisfied include:

  • A woman isn't giving a man enough sex for him to be satisfied.
  • A woman has currently cut a man off from sexual relations temporarily because she is angry or sick or for whatever reason.
  • The sex is simply not good, and therefore not satisfying.
  • The sex life has gotten boring, and no longer satisfying.
  • Another woman is offering to do something sexually that his woman isn't willing to/able to do.
  • He cannot be satisfied sleeping with only one woman.

Women prefer to think that men cheat because of sex, because they prefer to think the only reason a man would be with another woman is because he was horny in a moment of weakness, and it was purely lust. It's more painful to think there was any sort of connection shared between the two. A woman would rather think that their man was seduced by some promiscuous woman that he has no feelings for. Because it's bad enough that you catch your man having sexual relations with another woman. But to find out that there is anything more between them romantically is even worse.

The way I feel, is if I am not enough for you in any way including sexually, then let me know and let me go, and go find you a woman who is/or women who are everything you need to be satisfied. Let me know honestly upfront what you like and want and need to be sexually satisfied. What are necessary requirements and Deal Breakers? Do we enjoy mainly the same things? If we aren't sexually compatible, then fine, no problem, my feelings aren't hurt. I am somebody's cup of tea, so are you. You seek out the person who you jive with, and I'll do the same. No matter how much we like each other, if there is no way to make things work in the bedroom, than we aren't able to be a match. You can't try and force a relationship to work where the majority of a person's needs aren't met when it comes to intimacy, if two people don't prefer mainly the same things sexually. I don't want to be with a man who I don't satisfy, where they look to have their needs met elsewhere.


7) He isn't feeling valued.

We all want to feel valued and wanted by our partner. But every relationship is going to have it's ups and downs; its good times, and its bad times. The bad times are obviously a struggle on both partners in a relationship. For whatever reason, a couple is not getting along. And when a couple isn't getting along, they can each feel undervalued at the time in their relationship.

Often, this can begin to occur when some time has passed, and the "honeymoon stage" is over. The "honeymoon stage" is what I call the beginning stage of dating. When everything is new, exciting, and fun, and you want to spend all your time with a person, they pretty much can do no wrong in each others eyes, both partners are just so happy together. I typically consider the "honeymoon stage" the first six months of dating.

After six months, the couple really starts to get to know each other. Pet peeves are noticed. Problems occur. Aggravations happen. Arguments and disagreements begin. The Fairytale ends and real life starts to unfold; especially when two people decide to move in together and start living together as a couple.

Kids take up all your time, you may have different parenting styles, you are annoyed by In-laws or your partner's family/friends, stressed out with bills and finances, you don't like how the house is kept or other pet peeves, the sex life goes downhill. These are some examples of common problems couples can have.

During bad times and stressful times, a man may not feel valued. Reasons a man may not feel valued include:

  • The woman is really angry with him over something big he has done wrong.
  • The woman is angry with him over something that is not his fault.
  • The woman is just tired and stressed, and not giving him much attention.
  • The woman often argues with him over little things.
  • The woman is giving other people more attention than him, especially another male.
  • The woman belittles him and puts him down. (Maybe he does the same to her, maybe not).
  • The man has self esteem issues, where he needs constant assuring and compliments to feel valued.
  • A man isn't feeling like he is in charge and has control of his household.
  • Another woman makes him feel more valued than his current woman is.

For whatever reason, a man may not be feeling valued in his relationship. Whether or not a man has valid reason to not feel valued, or whether or not it's anyone's fault he doesn't feel valued, does not matter. A woman may not be giving him attention and treating a man right, or it may have nothing to do with the woman and how she treats him, why he feels undervalued. A woman may have good reason to be angry with a man and not giving him attention, or it may not be the man's fault why the woman is angry with him and not giving him attention. There are many reasons why a man may not feel valued. His fault, her fault, another woman's fault, no one's fault, it happens.

Often a man won't feel valued when a couple is not getting along. A man is in a vulnerable position where his ego is bruised. He is more likely to be swept away by a woman complimenting him and making him feel special. He isn't feeling valued at home by his woman. Maybe he feels unwanted by his woman, where she is threatening to leave him. Or he is being ignored by his woman because she is angry with him for whatever reason. Maybe he is feeling jealous because his woman is paying compliments and attention to someone else like the neighbor, or her friend's new boyfriend. Comparing him to other guys, saying, "why can't you be more like him?"

So, when another woman shows interest in him, and pays him compliments, fluffs up his bruised ego, makes him feel special, a man may cheat because another woman is making him feel valued, when he isn't currently feeling valued by his woman. A woman may be feeding his ego, saying all the right things to make him feel like a King. Where he may meet up with whatever woman is paying him compliments, to have time away from the mess he dreads dealing with at home, where he feels free, and wanted, and has his ego boosted. Maybe he doesn't feel wanted at home, where it feels good to him to have a woman who is happy to see him and wants him to spend time with her. She's free therapy for him.


8) He isn't feeling desired.

This can be one of the most common reasons for a man to cheat. The couple can be going through relationship issues such as mentioned earlier. When a man isn't feeling sexually desired by his woman, he is most likely to be seduced by a woman to cheat. It's difficult enough for a man to sexually resist temptation. But when a man isn't feeling desired by his woman in a relationship, it can make it twice as difficult for him to turn away a woman trying to seduce him and showing interest.

No matter how much he is feeling desired at home, it is never the woman's fault, and it's never excusable to cheat. There are some men who are given all the sex, and affection, and attention, in their relationship, where they feel very desired by their women, yet, still, end up cheating with a woman that advances upon him.

Some reasons a guy may not be feeling desired:

  • The woman is turning down his sexual advances.
  • The woman is not seeming to enjoy being intimate.
  • The woman is not initiating sex.
  • The woman is difficult to "Turn On" and sexually "get in the mood."
  • The woman is complaining she is not sexually satisfied.

A guy who is feeling desired by his woman at home is more likely to turn away any woman flirting with him and showing desire for him sexually.

Being desired can be a big part of sexual satisfaction. Who wants to have sex with a person who isn't showing desire for them? Many people can't even get in the mood for sex without it. Or, if they are in the mood, their partner not responding to them with desire can kill the mood very quickly. Desire and affection must be reciprocated. If someone's advances are turned down enough times, a person can get frustrated, and become distant, and their self esteem can become low. This can put them in the perfect position for another person to come flirt with them, and raise their self esteem, and make them want to relieve built up sexual frustration. It can feel nice to be sexually wanted, especially when they aren't feeling sexually desired at home in their relationship.


9) He enjoys "his ego stroked."

This is usually the number one reason why a man cheats. It's ALWAYS about the Ego. You never just commit to and marry the man, you also marry his PRIDE. 80% of the time when a woman is upset, it is because her feelings are hurt. 80% of the time when a man is upset, it's because his pride is wounded. This is not in any way a jab or insult at guys, it's just stating facts. Common differences between men and women. Woman react often by emotion. Men are told not to show feelings, and aren't usually as emotional as women. But every guy is taught to be tough, "be a man," not to let anyone insult his "manhood." This is an example of a man's ego and pride.

If a man has been feeling beat down by his woman and made to feel inadequate in his relationship, then he is more likely to fall for another woman complimenting him, "stroking his ego," and making him "feel like a man."

Ways of a man "having his ego stroked" can include:

  • A woman paying him compliments.
  • A woman giving him attention.
  • A woman making him feel wanted and valued.
  • A woman making him feel desired.
  • A woman seducing him and sexually advancing.

All of these types of advances can stroke a man's ego. This can be better to a man than sex. If a man's woman is tearing him down, he is more likely to cheat with anothe