After 20 years of marriage, I found myself single and ready to mingle. I knew that the only way I was going to be comfortable out in the dating world was going to do it online. No awkward first meetings or blind dates to deal with, just me on my couch on a Saturday night looking through profile after profile to find a good match.
After many messages, many dates, and many successes, there are some things that I have learned that can help you have greater success with your dating profile, and even read clues about a potential partner.
1. DON'T use unnatural angles.
An under-the-chin selfie is just unflattering...I don't want to date Jabba the Hut, and trust me, that's what everyone looks like from that angle. Super high upward angles don't fool anyone either. People will assume you are hiding something, and will keep on scrolling. DO use a SLIGHT upward angle and make sure you use your best side for a selfie. You want it to look natural, but still flatter yourself. It may take some practice, but you can do it!
2. DON'T forget mirror selfies show a lot more than you may think.
Oh mirrors....I love them myself, and nothing is as magical as getting that good mirror selfie or full body pic to show yourself off. Until you start looking hard in the background, and realize that the whole world can see your pile of dirty laundry on your bed. Or even worse, the number one turn off, a nasty bathroom mirror. Please don't assume no one will notice - TRUST me...we will, It's not just your messy lifestyle we will notice, but other things as well. For example. If you are a single guy and your bathroom selfie has a "Live-Laugh-Love" plaque in the background ,you are either 1. not single. 2. at your mom's. Single people also don't have two toothbrushes in the holder, opposite sex grooming products on the counter, and bald men shouldn't have hairbrushes laying out. Unfortunately, some people who use online dating are not single, and by observing the backgrounds, you can find clues about their lifestyle.
3. DON'T crop
Guys...I know that you hate taking pics, and that one you took with your ex at her cousin's wedding is a really good pic of you, but no, you can't crop her out and use that. Again, we will notice, and will wonder what else you are too lazy to do. Cropping out people in general is a BAD idea. People looking at those photos will wonder who exactly is cropped out, whether it's someone significant or not. Take a few minutes to snap a new selfie or have a friend help you take a few new ones.
4.DON'T post a lot of group photos
Group photos can work totally for you or completely against you, there is no middle ground. First things first, never use a group photo as your primary photo. Which one is you? We can't tell. Well lets look at the 2nd pic...hmmm ANOTHER group photo...ok, I give up. You want to stand out, not blend in. You should have no more than two group photos, placed somewhere between the middle and end of your picture set. One more thing, never, ever, ever have all of your photos as group photos. You may as well be saying,"I want to date someone but I really will spend all my free time hanging out with my friends".
5. DON'T use old photos
I'm still not sure why this happens, but it's pretty obvious when someone uses an old photo. Grainy photo texture is a dead giveaway, along with ancient clothing or hairstyles. This is something that I find men more guilty of than women. Pictures should be no more than a year old, period. As long as you are single and looking, it's a good idea to change up photos or take new ones every three months to keep it fresh. I've seen some people who have used the same photo for years....and I'm over here like yeaaaah right....It can also lead to awkward first meetings when you don't look anything like your pictures, which brings me to
6. DON'T hide your imperfections
If you are overweight, have crooked teeth, no hair, or anything else you may consider an imperfection, don't make the mistake of hiding it to attract a mate. Eventually, you will meet a potential partner in person, and there is nothing more awkward than realizing you are not attracted to that person after all. Not only is it awkward, it's a huge waste of time, and even money if you're the person paying for the date. Do yourself a favor and be honest, and don't ever assume that people won't like you because of your appearance. I'm a BBW, and have always been up front about that in profile photos, and I've never had a problem with a guy telling me that they were expecting me to look differently. Everyone should have what I call the trifecta of photos: A closed mouthed smile, an open mouthed smile, and a full body shot. Those three photos are going to tell a potential partner a lot, and it also shows you aren't trying to hide anything.
7. DON'T use photos with children.
This not only very poor taste, but it violates the child's right to privacy. I see men doing this a lot more than women, and single dads, you are the worst. Nieces and nephews, cousins, whatever, don't belong on a dating site. You never know what weirdo could be looking at your precious kiddos. I know a lot of you are great dads, but you don't need to include pictures of you with your kids to prove that. It's not going to make my panties fly off. It's going to make me angry that you didn't even consider their rights over yours.
8. DON'T post overly suggestive or sexual photos
Don't get me wrong here. You want to attract a potential partner, but if your photos say you are only looking for fun, don't be surprised when you aren't taken too seriously, or worse yet, flooded with inappropriate messages. It's the internet, people, and you should never post anything that you wouldn't want to come up later. Keep it PG as far as your profile. You can still look sexy without being suggestive.
9. DON'T use photos with you and someone of the opposite sex
It doesn't' matter who it is, your brother, sister, cousin, mom, etc...it's never a good idea post pics of you with someone of the opposite sex. It's just weird, and it's even weirder if you don't specify in the caption WHO that person is to you. Women will always automatically assume it's an ex,although it's probably your sister or cousin. Although cute, family pictures aren't the best for dating profiles. I'm not sure I want to see a potential mate with his mom up front, those photos are better shared a few days into a one on one conversation.
10. DON'T be stupid
Make sure you are not posting photos of yourself that could get you in trouble at work or with the law. Be careful about alcohol or recreational drugs in the background, even if they aren't yours. Don't post photos with your work nametag or employer logo in them. Don't show house numbers or show your workplace. Don't show license plate numbers on your car, or any other identifying information. People are crazy, and you'd be surprised how easy people can find you with just a few pieces of information.
© 2018 Danielle Phabulous
Emmanuel on August 31, 2018:
hi Amponsah Emmanuel and i want
a serious relastionship