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Things You Should Never Talk About on a First Date

Writing about life, love, relationships and dating. A research junkie, a book lover and a smart*ss, according to my partner.


We have all been there: that first date with someone you actually like and want to impress, so your nerves take over and you start blabbering about something stupid, while your inner voice is screaming “shut up, shut up!”, but it’s too late and the damage is done. Maybe, your date will give you the benefit of a doubt and agree on a second chance at the end of this disaster; or they might block your number and never speak to you again. To help you avoid that, here're a few things you should NEVER talk about on a first date:

1. Talk About Your Finances

Yeah, OK, you might be loaded, but mentioning it on the first date makes you look shallow and a bit like an a**hole. Is this the only thing that you think is attractive about you? We hope not. Same goes for “I am so broke right now” talk: no one wants to date a guy or a girl who is not capable of managing their own finances, and listening to why you are broke puts a dump on the whole evening and looks like you are just trying to get out of paying your share of the bill.

2. Start Stories With “So I Got So Drunk…”

All that says about you is that you drink a lot and don’t know how to control yourself – not attractive.

3. “So, Why Are You Still Single, Exactly?”

We all have our reasons for being single, and not all of them are easy to share, especially with someone you just met. Don’t forget, you are on that date too, so you are also still single.

4. Stories About Your Ex

“She/he was wonderful/a nightmare/beautiful/drove me crazy/made me laugh” – these are all a huge no-no. While you are telling the story about your ex, all your date is thinking about is that you’re just not over them yet. Getting involved with a person in love with their ex is not something people with common sense do.

5. Trash Talk About People You Know

Telling stories about your friends and family members that show them in a bad light is not a good idea. Your date will just project all the negative things you are mentioning on to you – you know them and socialize with them, so you must be pretty similar.

6. “I Think I Am in Love With You Already”

OK, we know you mean it as a joke and try to show them you really like them, but it’s still too much for a first date. It can make them feel awkward, I mean, how do you even respond to that?!

7. Hint at Your Extra Special Abilities in Bed

I always get the job done, if you know what I mean” *wink-wink*. Of course, they know what you mean, what makes you think they have never had good sex before? They won’t throw themselves at your fit begging: “Take me then, show me how it’s done!”; they’ll probably just think you are overcompensating and only interested in sex.

8. Mention Your Most Private Secrets

This one’s more for your own sake than anything else – sharing extremely private information with someone you barely know is not wise as you have no idea how they can potentially use it. Keep your dark secrets to yourself for now – maybe later, if things go well, you can tell them, and not because you want to impress the person, but because you trust them.

9. Assume Your Date Is Not in the Loop

Saying stuff like “Oh, you probably don’t know, but…” or “I doubt you’ve heard of this…” is assuming your date is not in touch with current events or trends. It’s like telling someone they are not smart enough to understand certain things. Who is going to want to spend time with you when you are such a pretentious douche?

Don’t tell your date stories about your numerous escapades with women / men. It’ll make your date think you aren’t really that interested if you keep bringing up your past (or even current) adventures in dating. It also makes you look like a tease and a self-obsessed individual, none of which is a turn on.

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dashingscorpio from Chicago on October 27, 2016:

Excellent advice!

I would also say it's good not to "ask" the wrong questions either!

A first date is really all about seeing if there is any chemistry, establishing a rapport, finding out about likes or dislikes...

Who is your favorite....? Have you ever? If you could travel to a place you've never been where would you go? What's the funniest thing you ever heard or witnessed...etc

Essentially a first date is about having "ice breaker" conversation.

One thing is for certain if both people don't walk away feeling as though they had a "good time" there will not be a second date!

Dating is suppose to be a FUN social activity!

The mistake a lot of people make is they "interrogate" or ask very probing questions as if they're on a fact finding mission to quickly "exclude" someone without allowing them to reveal them self. Dating is not "job".

Truth be told I believe a lot of folks deep down HATE the dating process!

They want to "fast forward" and {get to commitment or marriage} ASAP. This usually leads to making mistakes in mate selection or cynical "burn out".

No one is asking you to decide on whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire. It's just a date! Enjoy the play, concert, movie, dance, event, or whatever and get to know each other at a leisurely pace.

A relationship should progress from one milestone to the next.

If it's meant to be it will be. A good first date is one with smiles and laughs.

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