How to be comfortable as a long term bachelor
This article aims to give you hints as to how to keep yourself happy and entertained as a long term bachelor. Whether you are just out of a long term relationship, you have been single for a while and are getting bored or just generally are looking for some advice on how to be single and happy; this article is for you.
The essence of this article is to show you how to be happy in your own skin and your own company. Fundamentally, this is what you need to be able to do to be genuinely happy as a bachelor.
The killer for a lot of bachelors is having too much time on their hands and not knowing what to do with it. We all have a couple of hobbies we can name but its a rare person that has more than 3 or 4. My question is why? Why limit the amount of hobbies you have? As the more you limit your hobbies then the more of your time you have to spend on each hobby. And with the best will in the world, you will get sick of any hobby if you do it too much.
Personally, I move from hobby to hobby quite regularly. And often go back to old ones when I feel like picking it up again. A few ideas for new hobbies are below:
- Beer brewing
- Computer gaming
- Learning a Language
- Learning an instrument
- Learn a new sport
Of course this list is not exhaustive. It is about finding a hobby that you enjoy. I would be naturally quite creative and enjoy that kind of thing but i appreciate that it is not for everyone! Money can also be an issue here but for the most part the above are quite cheap.
If you do find a new hobby, don't spend every free minute you have on it. This is how you burn the hobby out and in 1 month you won't want to continue it. This is true for most things with the exception perhaps of learning a new instrument, as the obvious signs of improvement in this case often spur you on to continue with it!
The idea is to always look forward to the time that you are going to spend on the hobby. This way you keep going back to it!
A problem that can affect a lot of bachelors is loneliness. If you spend a lot of time on your own this can almost seem unavoidable. It isn't. Just because your friends (if you ever had any) have moved away or are in relationships and have less time to spend with you, doesn't mean you have to suffer.
The easiest thing to say is to get more friends. This is possible but not the easiest thing to do. Most people meet their friends at school or uni and bring them through life. Often people meet them in work and stay friendly with them that way. But what do you do when your school/uni friends are drifting apart and you're in a solid job with no colleagues your age/ you work for yourself? Do you change your career path?
Of course you don't. You just look elsewhere. No one is willing to admit that they want or need more friends. But if you look around you you will find a lot of people who are in the same boat.
A great way i have found to talk to people is online. But not in the way you think. Simple tablet games often have a poor chatting system in them and so the gamers use various chatting apps to talk through. You don't even have to necessarily play the game. I have found some worldwide friends this way. Not only does this mean you can talk to people in different timezones (Ie always have someone to talk to) but you can also use them as an excuse to travel if you are not scared of meeting up with a stranger. I realise how dangerous that might sound to you, but you'll find that most people you talk to online in this way are actually in the same boat as you and would happily meet up with someone different and do something different just for a pleasant change.
Of course there are other ways to meet people online if this isn't your thing. Another little known goldmine is dating apps. If you're single chances are you are on one or at least have been at some point. But did you know that sometimes its okay to be friends with a girl without anything more? I have met some of my best friends this way. Yeh maybe you meet up originally with a date in mind but if it doesn't go perfectly who says you have to never talk to them again? I'm not talking about the dates that go really badly here where you have nothing in common. And obviously not the ones that go amazing either as you'll want more than friends there. But the ones that fall somewhere in the middle, and in my experience the vast majority of them do. You have a few things in common but not quite sure that the spark is there. Sound familiar? Why not try and stay friends with that girl? You may find that yous are 1000 times better friends than you ever would have been if yous were romantically involved.
Aside from online, there are tons of ways to meet people. Why not go to a class for one of your new found hobbies? You're already off to a running start here as you are meeting someone you have something in common with. Maybe join a local club or team?Even if its in something you have never played before. I've recently joined a tennis club with a friend of mine (Yes you guessed it i met her on a dating app) and we are already getting to know new people. People of all shapes and sizes but with one thing in common to build upon.
Basically, if you want to you can meet new friends in all kinds of places if you are willing to look. There's also the old favourites of your local pub on the Saturday for the football/sport of choice. It may not seem like such a great idea going to the pub on your own but when you are on your own in places you tend to meet new people a whole lot easier and quicker than you would in a group.
We all have that yearning for companionship. There is no point saying any different. And this is the thing that any single person lacks in most. After all, the two things are almost polar opposites. But they don't have to be mutually exclusive.
We've all been on dates. Some of them good, some of them bad. Because of this, some people enjoy dating some people don't. But even those that despise it would say that its a necessary evil. Everybody needs a bit of love in their lives. Everybody also needs a bit of loving in their lives.
But you don't have to be in a relationship to get that. There are plenty of people out there in the same situation. It doesn't mean you have to have a series of one night stands, either. Maybe "looking to date someone to see where it goes" is more the answer. Two people seeing each other but far from in a relationship. In order to pull this one off, you have to be upfront and honest from the beginning (don't you always?) about what you are looking. Often you will find they are looking the same thing, or are at least willing to give it a try! If not, there's plenty more fish in the sea!
The idea of this is to get the level of connection that the average person needs without the commitment. Your reasons for not wanting the commitment are your own but one thing is for sure and that is that the connection is very achievable without it.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on September 17, 2017:
It seems people have various definitions for the words "single" and "bachelor". Some believe it means not in a relationship. However the legal definition means one is not (married). Anyone who is not married is legally single!
Therefore as long as a man is not married women can view him as an "eligible bachelor" theoretically.
However what's most important is how (you) define yourself.
Some people a bachelor to be a guy who is not looking to settle down, engages in casual dating, booty calls, and friends with benefits arrangements.
Others see him as someone who just hasn't met the right one. There are also others who believe it's a man who is lonely, unhappy, possibly shallow, and fears commitment.
That latter group of believers want to control or manipulate the bachelor who is happy living life on his terms!
Marriage is a lifestyle choice! It's not a requirement to live!
The best way to stay happy being a bachelor is to live your life on your terms.
Single means being FREE to do as one pleases without having to take in consideration what someone else might want. If you don't feel like going you don't go! (And vice versa)
You have to decide if you are a bachelor by (choice).
If you are, being happy is an automatic no brainer!
On the other hand if you wish were married or cohabitating then odds are you won't have a problem finding a woman who wants the same thing. Almost every woman on a dating site claims she's looking for a "serious relationship" or a "marriage minded" man...etc There's no shortage!
Being a bachelor is about choice, freedom, working hard, and playing hard. Most of all it's loving yourself regardless of marital status! Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself.
The world may not owe you anything but (you) owe yourself the world! Life is a (personal) journey.