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The Vanity Game: Men Versus Women

I was born in the south. I live in the south and will die in the south. This is only a small part of the memories I share.

Is my hair perfect or what?

Is my hair perfect or what?

Ladies and Gentlemen, It's a Battle to The Finish

primping, combing, smoothing-out lipstick, conditioner, cologne, and other needful-aides to fool society that we love our jobs and the income it brings. It all seems so innocent, but seriously, there is a very dangerous enemy who lurks every hour and day to just attack us when we are in need to check our appearance or to just run a comb through our hair and other things that we all do in order to look presentable.

  • Sure it's the truth. Any mirror can be considered dangerous. But the full-length jobs are so manipulating that no wonder the full-length has an inflated glass pane. And it and it's other cousin mirrors all have the ability to cut us to the quick or to smile at us when we "think" that we look good, because they never speak a word. We stand and take it. What fools we are.
  • Have I given you a breakthrough now? And all of the years that you and I have been using mirrors (of all shapes) and never thought of them as enemies out to do us in. Below is a short list on how these "glass enemies" can hurt or harm us:
  • Cause you to be late for work by allowing that one small smudge get in your sight when you are getting ready for the day ahead. This is a silent attack on innocent citizens.
  • Create friction between sexes as to who is "hogging" the full-length mirror in the bathroom. Even right now somewhere in the world a loving couple are exchanging heated words about one of the parties sayng, I would be ready sooner if it were not for you and your ego!
  • For some mysterious reason, the glass in your treasured mirror suddenly cracks while you are using it. This can be a sign that you are spending way too much time looking at yourself.
  • Then there is "that" inevitable moment when either gender will finish getting ready only to check their appearance and find one string that has attached itself to your clothing and all without you knowing it. It was a master plan by the full length bathroom mirror and a spool of thread that the wife was using to sew a decorative piece of artwork for your den.
Hmmm, maybe a red skirt would look better.

Hmmm, maybe a red skirt would look better.

Women And The Full Length Mirror

can easily be noted because, and this is nothing toward those gorgeous women who do spend a few more seconds looking at herself than her male companion.

This is for the women and they gain valuable points because they shower, shave their legs, air dry their hair, apply skin conditioner, dress and then check themselves in the mirror to see if they look presentable.

On the other hand, us men run into the shower like a cross country track meet and are in and out in minutes. Unless we shave in the shower, we do that after drying off, then comb our hair, apply deodorant and after shave and then dress for work, but compared to the women, it is a narrow defeat for the men who sometimes only look once at themselves before heading-out for the day. Women look better because they care more about their appearances.

Writer's note: personally, I have no problem with a woman who spends a little more time in making themselves look pretty for themselves, not necessarily their companions or coworkers. Thanks, K.A.

Why is there dirt in my beard?

Why is there dirt in my beard?

What is The Bottom Line Problem

if I might call it that. I will answer and you will agree. It is called Ego. We all have ego's, or that part of our being that craves attention. Many times we give our ego its head or we can tame it and keep it in check, but I would say that it is the men who are more egotistical when they meet a mirror. Especially if they are going out on hot date. The man just has to be perfect is all aspects of his date. And there are cases when the women will spend hours and talk to the mirror and hopes that the mirror will say, you are the fairest in the land.

And then there is that part of the Ego Study that has ego being a help to how we look or act and I support this. It has another term: caring for one's self. It even sounds better than if I were calling someone an egotistical jerk.


I would have to say that I might have misused the word 'versus' in my headline, but it was purely used to give the headline more sense. Women, naturally, win this competition with flying colors. But the reason why is very obvious . . .has there ever been a time when a single or married woman who spends a few more minutes in front of her full length mirror (to look her best) met with cold remarks from her companion?

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I don't think so.

My congratulations to the pretty women everywhere.

January 16, 2021______________________________________________

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© 2021 Kenneth Avery


RGNestle from Seattle on January 17, 2021:

Hey, my wife takes forever in the bathroom when she is getting ready for anything EXCEPT work. If it's work, she takes 10 minutes (mainly because she only gets up 20 minutes before she has to leave in the morning.) :D

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on January 17, 2021:

All I wonder these days is the following. Who is that old woman in the mirror looking back at me? Haha!

DW Davis from Eastern NC on January 17, 2021:

It's no contest in my household as to who takes longer in the morning. For the record, it's not me.

Great Hub. I'm glad someone finally called out those evil mirrors.

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