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The Trust Has Been Compromised but the Love Is Stronger Than Ever

We've been friends since elementary, dating for about a year. I've loved many girls in my lifetime and have been so-called loved in exchange


Today I'm left with basically nothing, just the clothes on my back, and all of the genuine love that I showered her with. A woman can be an important piece to your life, your everything, and turn out to be a betrayal that drives you insane. You have to be careful with who you love because some women will tell you anything just to get what they want. I found out the woman that I loved only dated me to use me for my love. She loved someone else and was cheating on me with him behind my back.

I discovered that the love of my life cheated on me with another man, her supposed ex-boyfriend. I do not know the complete details of the affair, but I have proof in text messages and from the horse's mouth that she is a cheat. Of course, she denied everything, but soon admitted to a few things but only after finding out that the ex-boyfriend told them about their business. She got busted as a cheater and a liar and my trust for her waned. However, the love I had for her remained. In fact, it grew stronger once I realized that she truly loved me a lot and made a valued effort to prove it by determinedly keeping me from leaving her life.

How I Found Out She Cheated

Her ex-boyfriend went to elementary school with me but she had no idea that I knew he was her ex-boyfriend. She told me she had an ex-boyfriend that was disrespectful to her and she had no more ties to him; she was done with him completely. I believed her and didn't think anything of it. She gave me a date of about a month or two ago that she last talked with him. I had no reason to not trust her at this point, besides a lie she told about her ex-husband never coming over to her new apartment, which he did. That was a little suspect but I let it go.

This ex-boyfriend was a drunk and a verbal abuser. He talked about her weight, the way she talked, the way she dressed and she claimed that she was done with this man; she told me that she was disgusted with herself for even staying with him for so long (about 6 months). He was such a bad boyfriend to her that she deleted her profile photos on her Facebook page because of insecurities. I tried to help her through the hurt as she claimed that it will take time for her to repair - understood.

The only reason I reached out to this guy (who was a friend of mine on Facebook) was because I called my girlfriend over 20 times in a row one day and she never picked up the phone even after knowing I was calling. That was a red flag indication of being with another guy. I will tell you why.

We were talking on the phone one day while I worked and the plan was for us to meet up after I got off. After work, she canceled and said she had to go to her mom's house, which she never does (cancel). While on the phone, she tells me to hold on (someone is on the other line). She clicks over for about 5 seconds and clicks back over to me and suddenly has to go. Ok, what could that mean? My guess was that it was a guy on the other line telling my girlfriend that he had arrived somewhere, perhaps outside to pick her up. It was suspicious so I explored. In addition, she rarely gets off the phone with me just because she has to hurry to go over to her mom's house.

I called her back after work, and guess what? She put her phone on do not disturb. This means that her phone will not ring when someone calls; my call went straight to voicemail. The only way to get through to her is if you call numerous times as in an emergency. So, I called numerous times, and guess what? She did not answer any of my calls. I'm getting really concerned at this point because she never really refuses my calls. I call ten times in a row. Not because of my concern but I had made a plan (a surprise)to meet her at her mom's house to take her out for Valentine's day. It was the day before and we were unable to go out on Valentine's because of a busy schedule.

After the tenth call, she texts me and says that she was talking to her brother, "what's up?". She never does this to me, so now I'm pretty sure she's with somebody. So I call her another ten times in a row and guess what? No answer. I was pretty sure that she was in the car with another guy and didn't want to answer my call. I told myself that I was done with her after that experience not only because I thought she was with another guy but because my call could've been an emergency and she didn't consider my repetitive calling important enough to answer.

A day later, I reached out to her ex-boyfriend just to be 100% sure, for my own curiosity, that he was in fact the ex she spoke badly about. He was. But, surprisingly, I found out a lot of truth to lies she told me throughout our relationship, including the fact that she was still in contact with this man, behind my back. When I tell you that this girl played me, I really mean it. She played me like a fool and yet, like a fool I continued to love her and agreed to work with her to remain a loving couple.

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Her ex-boyfriend told me about all of the meetups they had when she was supposedly not in contact with him anyone. She spent the night at his aunt's house with him on Halloween; she picked him up from an Airport after talking with him the day of. They even went to the hospital together because of pain in her back. Seems like she wanted to spend as much time with him as she could, right? She even went on an Orlando Disney trip alone and guess who was the first person she called when she landed? Yep! Him. He lives in Florida. She intended to enjoy Disney World with this man. And the kicker is that she buttered me up by letting me use her car and giving me the keys to her house while she met with him in Orlando.

But here is a twist, I wasn't the one she was with the entire time, it was him. Another twist is that she chased after him, he didn't chase after her. According to our conversation, he didn't think too much of the relationship, it was really her who fell in love with him. He even showed her text messages telling him that she loves him, while she was with me, and he just responded with, " weirdo". She constantly reached out to this guy through texts In various occurrences, even planning a trip to Delaware, while with me; it was him that she really loved.

I loved her, and she loved him. She needed us both because he didn't feel the same way about her as I did. And, she didn't feel the same way about me as she did about him. I'm fully aware that I'm a fool for staying with this girl as she showed me that she is capable of talking to another man behind my back, and I'm confident that she'll do it again. She claims that she won't, but I'm convinced that she is not attracted to me like she is to him. Im certain of this, not only because she ran around on me behind my back, but because of how she looks at me sometimes - there's rarely one of those smiles couples give each other when they like their partners. I do not light up her face.

What type of man do I identify as?

I admit that I'm a weak man, a sucker for love. If a woman knows this about me, she can play me like a fool every time. I usually get hooked to love like a hangar on a closet rod because, in my lifetime, I can't recall a time when I had a girlfriend who loved all of me for who I am. They all say they love me and I just roll with the punches, knowing that they are lying through their gaps. I believe that true love doesn't exist, and I have to suck it up and settle for liars, cheaters, and manipulators. This is the only type of relationship I know. At 40, I hope that I do find a true love that I can trust. But, I'm not expecting it.

How did I know the guy was my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend before he said he was

Well, we are friends on Facebook. Back in June, he posted an intimate picture of him and my now girlfriend on his page. She told me she started talking to her ex-boyfriend in May. I just put everything together. I was right.

What happened after my girlfriend was caught cheating?

Well, she fought to keep me. She catered to me. She cooked for me, cleaned up after me, massaged me, provided a pedicure to me, and even took care of me when I became sick. Her attention towards me was greater than it has ever been, her love for me appeared to be the strongest feeling I've ever experienced in any of my relationships and my heart grew another size. Although I hated her for what she did, the way that she treated me because of her mess up, enhanced my love for her so extreme that every day she contributed to pay off her debt to me the hate continued to go further and further down into the ground like a Nile crocodile. I struggled with trust but stuck with love.

Am I still together with that lying, cheating girl?

You bet your bottom dollar I am. Call me an idiot if you want. But I loved her before the cheating, and because my love for her grew stronger during the time she fought to keep me, I stayed put. Even though I believed she only treated me like a king because she got caught and I was all she had left, I didn't kill her spirit. And I didn't leave her stranded without anyone to love or to love her. Obviously, I don't care if she calls me a weak, stupid, easy, fella. I'm a sucker for love, what else would you expect? Call me what you want, I got someone to love, and I'm okay with just that.

What are some things you guys do together now that she has cheated on you?

Well, we've gone out to an Asian restaurant for chicken wings and fries. I took her around the neighborhood where I grew up and gave her an interesting history lesson that she appreciated. She cooked some meals (dinner certainly). I even cooked for her (breakfast certainly). We've been intimate frequently. However, I've lost myself a few times in frustration of the disturbing matter, but she would always understand and take whatever pain I dished out that came from my heart.

If you truly love her…

...And love loving her, keep doing it. I know you may appear as a dummy, loser, or sucker. But if that's what you want to do and it makes you happy, why not? Do what makes you happy. I think that's the meaning of life. You may not trust her anymore, yes. If you cannot build a love strong enough to bury the distrust you have for someone then let them go. I believe love is the most powerful force on the planet. It can turn a cold girl warm. It can kill a cheating girl and breathe new and improved life into her. Don't give up if you do not have to. You may find that the most precious woman lies beneath the dirt of her devious ways.

She was caught talking and meeting another man behind my back. To most of us, those betrayals are unacceptable. She deserves to be removed from my life. However, I've discovered that I'm not a typical man. I have the ability to love a known liar and cheating girlfriend with the intent to satisfy a sick obsession of mine. Am I sick or am I just a good man who has not ever gotten what he deserves in a relationship, accepted that fact, and just making the best out of my situation knowing that my next relationship will be with another deceitful girl. Why move on? I'm a sucker for love; I demand it for survival so it's like I'm a vampire sucking my cheating girlfriend's blood (love).

Am I really a fool, a sucker, or a dummy? Are those who laugh at guys like me really the ones who should be laughing? Where is their love and why are they constantly knocking back beers, sucking down cigarettes, and perhaps having a long list of drugs that they're a victim of? Maybe they too should accept who they are and continue to feed a woman some love, even if you feel they don't deserve it, because it's not really about them at this point. It's about your survival. In life, we all have to make sacrifices at one point, and mine is trust, unfortunately. However, I'm also betting that my love for her makes her trustworthy.

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