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The Simple Steps to Build Self-love

Ephraim is a strategist and a creative content writer who writes informative, educative, tech, and economical content that delivers results.


Every human on earth has at one time experienced love, love is one thing that is not easy to define, and you only know it when you feel it. What does it mean to love yourself? In what way do you even love yourself? And Is it possible to love yourself the way you love others? These questions are addressed here, so pay close attention to the details and don't rush to move on.

How to Love Yourself

Sometimes we are kind of awful about ourselves. We condemn ourselves for being unable to achieve something and staying in a relationship that makes us dependent on the other person, feeling self-hatred. It is easier to love others than yourself; loving yourself can be one of the most challenging but essential things to do.

You need to understand that the most crucial relationship that you should have is with yourself. Self-love sells; it is essential for your mental well-being and shows others how to love you. Research has it that people with self-love are more likely to be happy and confident, with the ability to handle challenges you face, whether a breakup or getting fired from your dream job. Whatever made you lose that self-love, it's time you start caring for yourself and treating yourself with the same love you give others.

Here are some of the best possible ways to love yourself. You don't need to use all the ideas, but you will find many relevant and helpful and there is a lot you can think about that would be helpful. Self-love should be an ultimate goal.

Stop Thinking Negative about Yourself

Being negative about yourself can hamper your self-esteem and confidence. Many people have wrong thoughts and feelings about themselves that are not helpful to their mental health. And these negative thoughts often come from those around us whose opinions are hostile and unwelcoming. Especially those we respect, value and love. Although there is some part of your life that you may show some negative light, such as family, career, appearance and a host of others. All you need to do is pick out those negative parts, identify the areas you can be optimistic about, and work on improving yourself instead of feeling negative all the time. Whatever you are doing or you are in to see the positive part of it, your mind should always be positive. Talk positively, and work with a positive mindset; when negative thoughts come, change them to positive thinking. For example, instead of saying I cannot sing very well, tell yourself, "I will get better at practice." always compliment yourself on your physical appearance and accomplishments. Encourage yourself to do more of the things you didn't do before.

Ensure to Have Self-Awareness

When a person tells you that you're worthless, ugly, stupid or wrong, or you get criticized that you don't know how to do a particular thing, shamed for your sexual orientation, then you squish your square peg selves into a round hole and try to become something you shouldn't be. When these persist, you lose track of reality and the person you are. But, when you stop being negative about yourself, critically learn about your personality. 'Who the heck I am?' Increasingly we find ourselves wrestling with the part of understanding who we are as teens and adults. Then we revisit the question. It is excellent and exciting to seek self-awareness to know who we are, accept ourselves, and establish a sense of belonging. Self-understanding helps us navigate life and brings meaning to our experiences; without it, we may feel lost.

It is impossible to love yourself when you don't know who you genuinely are. Doubt and a negative mindset are exponential to your inability to love yourself. Invest in discovering what you value, love and believe.

Love Yourself through Your Daily Activities

How do you treat those you love and respect, are you genuinely kind to them, do you easily forgive them when they hurt you, give them space and time, give them room to grow and live their full potential because of the love you have for them?

Don't you think you deserve such love and respect too?

Don't you think it's possible also to treat yourself kindly and forgive yourself immediately when you go wrong?

Do you feel it's great to care for your body, mind and needs as you do for others?

Dear friend, it is highly possible to love yourself through these tricks:

  • Eat the best and healthy meal you can afford and give to others.
  • Exercise regularly; you can do this with your friends, relatives or spouse to make it more exciting and fun.
  • Sleep when necessary; in doing this, avoid anything that may distract your rest, especially your phone.
  • Play when you need to play; "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy."
  • Complement and give positive comments about yourself and those around you.
  • Dancing and keeping positive journals.

Loving yourself involves a series of actions and habits you need to engage in daily life.

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Be Truthful and Honest to Yourself

Some people are good at self-deception; they tell themselves what they are not instead of working hard to be the person they want to be. Ignorantly you live your life without being honest with yourself. Honesty is a predictor of mental and physical wellbeing. Honest individuals experience longer and healthier lives.

Not being honest to oneself can be associated with experiencing a toxic, abusive and narcissistic relationship with others. Unhealthy relationships affect how we see others and trust them. It creates an atmosphere of insecurity and encourages dependency. It involves a situation where the partner wants you to think that you can't live without them, making you feel that you cannot do anything for yourself without their help.

Honesty is vital in any relationship, especially the relationship with yourself. Being honest to yourself creates a greater sense of fulfilment in any endeavour. It makes you enjoy the work you do. You cannot live a life of lies and irrelevant excuses. True love for yourself involves being responsible and accountable.

Always Show Gratitude

Research is beginning to show how gratitude enhances physical and mental health. When people express gratitude, it makes them feel positive about themselves, think about the positive life they live rather than the negatives, and cherish the good experiences.

To show love to yourself when you wake up in the morning, identify some of the things you are grateful for with a pure heart. Consistently practice gratitude; to do that, you must cooperate it into your already scheduled and overstressed life. You are doing it when you don't feel like doing it; that is a sign of commitment.

Another way to show gratitude is to have a journal; a 'gratitude journal prompts' where you will write down the things you are grateful for, such as:

Write your happy memory.

The simple pleasures you are grateful for?

What are your goals to be achieved for the day?

What are the things you are grateful for about your physical and mental body?

What are the things you're grateful for when you look out of your window?

What is your accomplishment that you are proud of?

You can write about many things based on your inspiration, work towards improving on the things you are not good at, and never speak bad words about yourself.

Finally, practice two or more self-love activities for a week; consistently, when you do that over time, you will feel normal and won't take much effort any longer.

Even if you don't feel powerful, think about how far you have come and how important to love yourself and appreciate your personality. Be patient; self-love does not happen overnight. It will take time, and you will be grateful when you finally reach the point where you want to be.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2022 Ephraim Ejimofor

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