Amateur relationship advice guru, just speaking from experience!
Getting Kissed back
Relationships are complicated and are often confusing. Most men are good at reading a girl's cues and act on them accordingly. But not all men are lucky; there are still some who lack the experience and correctly assess a situation or are just not picking up on the signs. Although, there are some obvious indications that the timing is right to go in for that kiss and that you will be kissed back.
Kiss Check Test No. 1
Question: How long have you known her?
Having known someone for a long time does not guarantee that that person is ready to be kissed. Sometimes it even poses a problem in terms of it being awkward, especially if there is a best friend kind of relationship going on.
It is, at times, even more, effortless to kiss someone you just met than a person you have known for a long time. A lot of it has got to do with the "yuck" factor, especially if you are more of a brother figure or a haven.
There is a possibility that she might feel taken advantage of if you do go in for a kiss. A lot of friendships are lost this way. For some people, that relationship does not need to evolve into a romantic one. There are, of course, signs to indicate that she does want to take it further.
Kiss Check Test No. 2 - Body Language
Personal space is very vital. Most people are very conscious about their distance and maintaining this distance at all times. It is pretty much a good indicator if a girl will reciprocate a kiss depending on how much distance she places between the two of you. However, there will be instances where space is the issue and not her feelings. It is unheard of to be inches away from someone else's face, and it is comfortable.
The eyes do a lot of talking. Most girls have mastered a particular look to show interest. It usually lasts a bit longer. Most confident women will keep this look locked in taking several glances at other things but will always revert to you. It usually happens when the conversation takes a bit of a personal tone. Keeping this eye contact while inching closer or maintaining a very close distance to you will almost guarantee that she is ready to reciprocate a kiss.
Women will always be conscious of their actions, especially if they are allowing things to go further. Even while talking, laughing, and eating, every girl would make sure that her lips are "shaped" correctly; her smile is alluring, and she doesn't do anything that would disfigure her lips. It will be subtle because you might think she is just pretty without trying.
Kiss Check Test No. 3- Location and Timing
Depends on where you are and what you are both doing. Some guys are just clueless when it comes to this. You would see a lot of couples kissing in public or not so romantic places because they have kissed before. If it is your first time kissing someone, pick the right time and the right place to do it.
Kiss Check Test No. 4-n Go for it or ask
Question: Is it a good idea to go for it, or can I ask her if I can kiss her?
This is a good question. If you feel like she is allowing you to move in and gently give her kiss, you can try. Although take note, if she pulls back, that is already a clear no. I suggest stopping about a foot from her lips, give it about 3 seconds. If she doesn't flinch or ask you what you are doing, then go for it.
If in doubt, ask her. She will give you her answer.
Kiss Test No.5- The Conversation
If the conversation turns a bit flirty or the subject of intimacy or kissing is brought up, Keep your radar up. It just might be a sign. Some women will take a gentler tone when conversations like this arise, position themselves a bit closer, and be a bit more gentle with their body movements.
There is a fun game that you can try. It's the word association game. If at some point it leads to something sexually suggestive, again take it as a sign. Most women will stay clear of saying anything inappropriate to a guy if they do not want to give them any hints. Even if she does blurt out something improper, she might follow it up by saying she was only kidding or defend what she said with a lengthy explanation.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2020 Anna Javier
Anna Javier (author) on September 10, 2020:
Very good insight and I agree with you completely, especially with the idea of a woman going out with a guy just because she doesn't have plans or simply just wants to go out, go try a new restaurant or simply watch a movie without putting much importance in the possibility of it getting a little bit romantic. Personally, it has happened to me and yes, I did have to explain that I was really just craving sushi. Thanks for adding to the conversation! It really helps to hear from other people what they think about this topic.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on September 09, 2020:
One final thought involves gender difference and approach to dating. Men generally only pursue going out with women they are physically/romantically attractive to.
A common mistake a lot of men make is believing the girl said "yes" to the date because they were attracted to them!
Assuming someone is "into you" can lead to hurt feelings when you find out they're not.
Some women will say "yes" because of the activity being proposed; they always wanted to try that restaurant, the band playing is her favorite, you seem nice/safe, she had no other plans this weekend, or she didn't want to hurt your feelings.
As long as both genders approach dating by two different rules there will always be room for miscommunication. It's not clear if women really "don't know" why men asked them out, "don't care", or they ignore the man's possible motivation.
Every woman needs to know there is a reason why he asked YOU out and not the girl with the crossed eyes, crater skin, stringy hair and missing front teeth!
He asked you out because he's (physically attracted) to you!
Odds are if a man is attracted to you enough to want to invest time and money taking you out it means he (HOPES) at some point in time there will be an opportunity kiss you or even do more.
Is his being physically attracted to you a "bad thing"? No!
All of your other attributes/accomplishments are icing on the cake.
Everyone has their own mate selection/screening process.
Should knowing this information affect who you say "yes" to a date? Only you can answer that question. However if you only go out with guys you are romantically interested in you'll cut down on the number of potential awkward moments you'll have with guys attempted to kiss you whom you are not attracted to.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on September 09, 2020:
I would also say if there has been a lot of flirtatious banter which involved smiling/laughing and incidental touching or holding hands during the date there's a very good chance she will kiss you back.
As for asking permission to kiss is a big gamble.
On the one hand we live in the #MeToo and #TimesUp era and on the other hand many women don't consider it part of the romantic fairytale to have the "night in shining armor" to (ask) for a kiss.
Men for the most part are still expected to risk being rejected by making the first move. Some women may view guys who (ask) as being gentlemen while other women may see them as being "too nice" or lacking confidence/swagger which puts them in the friendzone. It's a cliché to hear "Nice guys finish last".
Being "nice" isn't bad but some girls may see it as lacking confidence. Hopefully during the date you learn about her type.
Kiss check #2 and #5 along with overall chemistry are the key.
In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!