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The Day Star Signs Almost Broke Our Relationship

Author:

Ravi Rajan is a software program director working in India. He writes articles on management, relationships and good parenting.

Do ‘incompatible’ star signs really affect relationships? Read this short story to find out.

Do ‘incompatible’ star signs really affect relationships? Read this short story to find out.

We Are As Different as Chalk and Cheese

I still remember that date,13th June 2008. It was Friday the 13th on which our ‘incompatible’ star signs almost broke our vibrant relationship.

Our love story began 15 years,5 days, and 2 hours ago to be precise. I am Capricorn and she is Sagittarius, and we were teeming with differences, to begin with.

I am organized in anything and everything I do including love and she loves wanderlust and variety, with change being her second name. I am constant in my choices and aim for rigidity while she is always aiming for new things, challenging new frontiers, and sometimes reckless to the point of irresponsibility.

To cut the long story short, we are as different as chalk and cheese but as they say, opposites attract, we managed to set the world of Cupid on fire. After more than two years of dating, fighting, adjusting, and finally discovering something new about each other every day, we decided to get married and inform our parents about the same.

We both belong to a very conservative Hindu brahmin community where love stories are frowned at. But to our surprise (and delight of course!!), nobody objected. Both sides were pleased with our respective choices, but her side had a single non-negotiable condition.

Our detailed horoscopes would be thoroughly matched for compatibility by their family astrologer who will also suggest any “remedies” in case of misalignments between our star signs. We tried to brazen our way out of this ‘Astro condition’. After all, who sees horoscopes in the 21st century, we argued.

The Crossed Star Signs Almost Derailed Our Relationship

It was funny as well as irritating. But no one budged even a bit. We agreed and then a day after came the ‘Astro-bomb” that almost derailed our relationship.

The astrologer declared that our horoscopes absolutely spell disaster for each other. Not only are we totally incompatible but there was a high probability that either one of us would die within one year of our marriage. In one word, his conclusion was “break off”. We were just not destined to be soulmates.

All hell broke loose. Within a span of 10 minutes, the friendly families from both sides became immensely hostile to each other with both sides imploring, cajoling, and even threatening us to break our relationship and “stay safe”. It was a tussle between love and astrology and our “incompatible” star signs were threatening to crush our beautiful relationship.

But we both stuck to our guns. Astrology be damned. Star signs be damned. We will marry, come what may, we declared. It took three long days of infighting, crying and sullenness to get everybody to agree with our decision. We finally married in an atmosphere of doom, dread, and impending fear.

It has been thirteen years since then and we have been alive and kicking so far with our love showing no signs of abating. That we made a famous “astrologer” eat his words makes us go crazy with laugher every time we think about that fateful day.

And here is why our relationship is going great so far.

We Give In to Each Other’s Quirks

Noted philosopher, Plutarch in his famous book Moralia makes a profound statement about the importance of appreciating each other’s quirks.

“Those who have to go near elephants do not put on bright clothes, nor do those who go near bulls put on red; for the animals are made especially furious by these colors; and tigers, they say, when surrounded by the noise of beaten drums go completely mad and tear themselves to pieces. Since, then, this is also the case with men, that some cannot well endure the sight of scarlet and purple clothes, while others are annoyed by cymbals and drums, what terrible hardship is it for women to refrain from such things, and not disquiet or irritate their husbands, but live with them in constant gentleness?”

What Plutarch meant here is giving in to those little quirks or habits that everybody might have in life. Your better half might not like loud music while you might not like too many guests at home. You might love to be in chaos while she might have obsessive-compulsive disorder and so on…….

The point here is finding the middle ground. These little adjustments or tolerations are the building blocks of rock steady relationships.

We Compete to See Who Is More Devoted

Devotion does not mean puppy love. Devotion means thinking beyond yourself in anything and everything you do.

Pericles, the prominent Greek statesman, and Orator nailed it to perfection when he said.

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.”

What Pericles meant here is the transition that happens from “My life” to “Our life” once we enter into a relationship. And this needs to reflect in every action or activity that is been done. For example, if you are thinking of dining out at a Chinese restaurant and she hates Chinese, your selfless action should be to go to a place that keeps both of your interests in mind.

If two people compete to show how much each person cares for the other, they’ll have a beautiful union. On the flip side, though, if each person in a couple only thinks of himself or herself, the couple will be doomed to separate or be lonely.

This is selfless devotion, and this must be a two-way street for any relationship to work.

Adultery Is Not Acceptable

Rufus the philosopher strongly viewed adultery as a crime when he said.

If it seems neither shameful nor out of place for a master to have relations with his own slave, particularly if she happens to be unmarried, let him consider how he would like it if his wife had relations with a male slave. Would it not seem completely intolerable not only if the woman who had a lawful husband had relations with a slave, but even if a woman without a husband should have?”

This topic is controversial and there are both healthy and unhealthy reasons for having adulterous affairs. In cases in which relationship problems lead to an affair, or to significant personal problems that are corrected, the relationship can actually be stronger after the affair.

But the bottom line is, not all relationships in which a partner has an affair is a bad relationship and not all people who remain sexually faithful are in happy relationships.

We Are Independent

Being in a relationship does not mean losing your identity. Rather it means enhancing your identity to a different level.

And Heraclitus, the Greek writer was bang on target when he said.

Day by day, what you choose, what you think, and what you do is who you become.”

Independence is very important in any relationship. In order to be happy in a relationship, we must be happy individually first. That is, in fact, the key to a successful relationship. With that in mind, partners must continue to take out time for themselves, enjoy their personal hobbies, and in general, spend some time apart.

Not only does absence make the heart grow fonder, but in the time, we spend alone, we get to reunite with our spiritual side, re-establish our sense of self, and check in with the progress of our personal preferences, goals, and achievements.

Lastly, We Gave Time to Our Relationship

As Plutarch states, any relationship gets stronger as the years go by.

“In the beginning, especially, partners ought to be on their guard against disagreements and clashes, for they see that such household vessels as are made of sections joined together are at the outset easily pulled apart by any fortuitous cause, but after a time, when their joints have become set, they can hardly be separated by fire and steel.”

All you must do is think about your relationship like a bank account — a kind of trust, that, if consistently funded with deposits of positivity, will keep it afloat and fresh. Work together and make your relationship bank account flush and it can never go kaput.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2021 Ravi Rajan

Comments

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on September 03, 2021:

Thanks, Greg for your kind comments.

greg cain from Moscow, Idaho, USA on September 03, 2021:

Ravi - I think this is not just an outstanding response, but an outstanding article with sage advice. That it’s true is also outstanding! I think these words here are especially useful for those of us in lifetime relationships:

“All you must do is think about your relationship like a bank account — a kind of trust, that, if consistently funded with deposits of positivity, will keep it afloat and fresh.”

I absolutely love that, and intend to share it with my wife this morning. Great work, Ravi.

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on September 03, 2021:

Thanks, Flourish. This is a true account

FlourishAnyway from USA on September 03, 2021:

If this is a true account, congratulations on your successful relationship and for not letting astrology and other people's opinions ruin your love. An interesting account. The heart does have a mind of it's own, so to speak.

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on September 02, 2021:

Thanks Vidya

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on September 02, 2021:

Thanks Brenda

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on September 02, 2021:

Thanks Misbah

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on September 02, 2021:

That I agree.

VIDYA D SAGAR on September 02, 2021:

A beautiful story and a wonderful response to Brenda's word prompt Ravi. The advice on relationships is invaluable. The story proves that true love conquers all barriers. Thanks for sharing.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on September 02, 2021:

Ravi

In your story, "The Day Star Signs Almost Broke Our Relationship" you tell us a story about two people with incompatible star signs.

One is Capricorn & the other Sagittarius.

Despite being totally different you found that opposites attract as you set Cupid on fire. Then decided to marry.

Even the Hindu brahmin community didn't frown upon this relationship.

But one side of the family requested a detailed astrology chart to help with any misalignments.

Then the report comes back insistencing this relationship end.

This created havoc between the familes & it took 3 long days to come to an agreement that they could marry.

Now after 13 years of marriage we look back and laugh about it.

You then tell us about how compromise is the building blocks of a relationship.

There is a transition from my life to our life as you enter into a relationship.

A union of two won't work if you only consider your own desires.

Then you discuss adultery and if it is good or bad for a relationship.

Proceeding to tell us the importance of keeping one's own identity in a relationship.

Taking time for yourself.

You believe this makes the relationship stronger.

Referring to it like a bank account where you keep making deposits with positive actions.

This us a great little story which proves sometimes the astrological zodiac signs are not 100% true when it comes to compatibility.

There are a lot of people who are complete opposites. I'm glad this marriage worked out and is going strong.

I will post a link in the article.

Misbah Sheikh from The World of Poets on September 02, 2021:

This is a very charming and lovely response to Brenda's prompt. I'm glad that the couple got along so well. I believe that both partners must make an effort to maintain a long-term relationship. I'm glad the couple was able to defeat the Astro- Bomb. My best wishes and prayers for the couple if the story relates to someone's real life.

Blessings to you!!

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on September 02, 2021:

Thanks, Rosina for your kind comments.

Rosina S Khan on September 02, 2021:

This is a great story about bonding, relationship, and marriage. I am so glad the couple stayed together without heeding the astrologer's star sign concepts on compatibilities. Your thoughts about bonding and staying in a relationship are commendable and applicable. This is indeed a great response to Brenda's word prompt, "Star" with special reference to star signs.

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on September 02, 2021:

Thanks Miebakagh

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on September 02, 2021:

The star within each one of you seem stronger than the astrological star. Congratulations!

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on September 02, 2021:

Thanks Bill

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on September 02, 2021:

I love that you defied the predictions and found happiness together. Bravo to you two and bravo to this wonderfully engaging story.

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on September 02, 2021:

Thanks, John for your comments.

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on September 02, 2021:

Ravi, this is a wonderfully positive story, and your advice about relationships is very wise. Glad the couple proved the astrologer wrong. A wonderful response to Brenda’s “stars” prompt.

Ravi Rajan (author) from Mumbai on September 02, 2021:

Thanks Chitrangada

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on September 02, 2021:

Hello Ravi ji!

This is a nice response to the word prompt, Stars. You have referred to the word prompt, with reference to Astrology.

Yes, this happens, at least in our part of the World. I find this story quite relatable.

The good news is that the couple is going strong with their marriage/ relationship. If it's your own story, my best wishes further.

Thank you for sharing this interesting and positive response.

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