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Are You Losing Sleep Because of a Pillow Thief? 3 Best Times to Steal a Pillow and How to Do It

Abby Slutsky is an excellent pillow thief. She is happy to share her tips and tricks to those who are tired of waking up without a pillow.

A pillow can enhance your comfort when you sleep.

A pillow can enhance your comfort when you sleep.

Are you the one that is without pillows in the middle of the night? Is your spouse or significant other a pillow thief? It doesn’t seem to matter whether the bed is a double, queen, or king; your partner still manages to find and steal your pillows. Unfortunately, the number of pillows doesn’t have an effect on your ability to keep them either. Regardless, you are the one with your head on a flat mattress in the middle of the night or by the morning.

Fear not. These tips and tricks from an experienced pillow thief will teach you how to keep and steal pillows, so you have a comfortable sleep.

Best Time to Steal a Pillow

There are three prime times to steal pillows. Be aware of them, so you can act to your advantage:

  1. You and your significant other are both awake, but your partner is fully engaged in an activity.
  2. Your spouse or partner is asleep.
  3. Your spouse or partner goes to the bathroom or leaves the bed for another purpose in the middle of the night when he or she thinks you are asleep.

Let’s look at these situations in detail to plan your strategy.

When your partner is transfixed by a book or television show, the time is ripe to steal a pillow.

When your partner is transfixed by a book or television show, the time is ripe to steal a pillow.

Both of You Are Awake, But Your Partner is Engaged in an Activity

Make sure that your partner’s attention is solely focused on the activity. The best way to do this is to determine whether he or she is reacting to the activity. For the most part, the activity will probably be watching television or reading while they are in bed. Here are some things to look for to determine whether it is prime pillow theft time:

  • Is your partner chuckling, crying or emotionally reacting to the program or reading material in some other manner?
  • Are you ignored if you ask your partner or spouse a question?
  • If your partner or spouse answers, are you getting an answer that actually responds?

If the situation meets at least one of these criteria, you are ready to roll. Move towards your spouse and gradually shift the pillow away. If he or she seems to notice, stop and wait till he or she is once again fully engaged. Sometimes distracting them with a kiss helps.

In the meantime crumble a sheet and wedge it behind the pillow. About 30 minutes after you have the sheet in place, tug lightly on the pillow. As long as your spouse has a level of comfort, he or she is unlikely to complain or notice when you take the pillow.

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Prime Pillow Stealing Opportunity: Your Spouse or Partner is Asleep

This is truly the best opportunity to steal pillows, especially if your spouse or significant other is a heavy sleeper. Sometimes you can even take more than one extra pillow or all of them.

It is best to wait until your spouse is in a deep sleep. At this point, their body will be relaxed and there will be little eye movement. Additionally, noises will not disturb their sleep. Do not try to steal pillows until you feel confident that your spouse or significant other is in a deep sleep. If necessary, make a little noise to see how they react.

If your spouse or significant other has more than one pillow, it is likely that he or she does not have a firm grasp on all their pillows. In fact, if you are lucky, they may not even be using all the pillows, but they be inconveniently out of your reach. It is easy to steal those pillows without worrying about disrupting your other half. Move your body, and quietly take them to your side of the bed.

If there are not any pillows that are just around your partner, slightly tug each pillow to see if it is firmly held. Often pillows between the legs or a second pillow used by the head is not really secure. The pillow that has the most movement is the one you want to take.

Pillow Stealing When Your Spouse or Partner Leaves The Bed

This pillow stealing technique works best when your spouse or partner thinks you are asleep. This is because he or she will be unlikely to try to recover the pillow if it seems likely they will wake you. If you are a restless sleeper, this is an excellent way to effectively steal a pillow from your spouse or significant other.

Tips for Keeping Your Pillows

It is not enough to know how to steal pillows from your partner, it is also essential to know how to keep them. The fewer pillows you steal and use, the easier it is to keep a good grasp on them.

Make sure you have at least one hand wrapped firmly around the pillow you use for your head. If possible, placing one hand under the pillow, and one hand over it is best. If you take a second pillow, consider using that one between your legs to secure it.

In the event you need to get out of bed, be sure to take your pillows with you, so your partner cannot snatch them back.

Caution: Make Sure You Don't Do This When Stealing a Pillow

Even if it is dark when you pillow snatch, be sure to take hold of the pillow and the case. The last thing you want to do is pull the case and steal an empty pillowcase without a pillow.

Good luck getting and keeping pillows. Pleasant dreams, and enjoy sleeping with one or more pillows again.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2022 Abby Slutsky

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