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The 4 Pillars of Confidence

I am a Registered Nurse by profession, but I'm also an aspiring PhD in Nursing. I like to write about self-help and motivation.



If you’ve ever felt insecure, unconfident or lacking in self-esteem - you are not alone. In fact, 1/3 of the population suffers from low self-confidence at some point during their life. And many suffer from it chronically. As a result they live with feelings of fear and insecurity that can often affect every part of their lives - including family relationships, how they spend money and even who they choose to be friends with. In this writing I would like to share the 4 pillars of confidence.

The Four Pillar of Confidence

The 4 pillars of confidence is about helping people overcome these issues by teaching them the importance of being confident in themselves as well as things like managing your expectations and social interactions.

The first pillar is understanding what confidence really means – which we all know doesn't mean thinking highly of yourself (though it can) – but rather being able to be at peace with yourself.

The second pillar teaches people how to handle their fear, which is one of the main reasons we lack confidence. Often times simply understanding where our fears come from and why they are there helps us overcome them - what often doesn’t help is trying to do things that make you nervous in a hope that facing your fear will make you less afraid of it. Because often times, the fear can never be completely eliminated.

The third pillar is about how to take action and approach those things that we are scared of doing - which may seem pretty obvious but actually isn't always easy to do. We try studying instead of talking to a friend at school, working instead of joining a club and even couch surfing instead of going to an event we really want to go to. But in fact, what you are afraid of usually isn't nearly as bad as it is when your mind imagines the worst possible outcome - which can often result in us doing things that seem counterintuitive if our goal is to overcome our fears.

Finally the fourth pillar helps people enhance their social interactions by teaching them how to make small talk and how to be more in control of the conversations they have with others, as well as helping someone create a better looking image of themselves - which is a lot easier when you feel good about yourself on the inside first.

So overall, the four pillars of confidence comes with no false claims and everything in it is backed by scientific evidence.

The First Pillar: Understanding what is confidence?

Confidence is the key to success and is a trait that everyone should have. Everyone has experienced moments where they did not have confidence. This can be something such as talking to girls, asking for a raise, or even going through the day after getting your period. It is OK to feel this way and it is also OK to want to change that feeling. If you do not feel confident in yourself then you will not be able to be confident in the things that you do . Confidence is the real secret behind success – but you do not have to be successful in order to be confident; if a kid can be confident, then so can an old man!

The Second Pillar: Understanding fear and facing it

One of the main reasons we lack confidence is because we are afraid. We are afraid of what others will think about us, we are afraid of making mistakes and we even have fears about ourselves. But you must understand that there is no point in being 100% fearless - the world would be a pretty boring place if it was! Not only that but people who limit themselves by fearing things often end up doing them anyway – and this can lead to awful consequences.

So the best thing you can do is to understand where your fears are coming from, why they are there and how to deal with them.

The Third Pillar: Taking action

The most important aspect of confidence isn't doing things in order to be confident – it's actually taking action and approaching those things that you are uncomfortable with or afraid of! The most important part of being confident is to act as if you are without caring about the outcome, because when you do this your mind will follow. If you pretend to be confident most of the time, your mind will think that you are actually confident and it'll eventually become real. This guide isn't about changing who you are on the inside; it's about improving how people perceive you!. It's still important to take action using your body language and clothing to create a better image of yourself.

The Fourth Pillar: Become more socially skilled

Using the four pillars of confidence can help you become a lot more socially skilled – which in turn creates a better image of yourself! Being social isn't just 'talking to people', it is a way of communicating your ideas and thoughts with others in order to get your own message across. So if you want to be more confident, then you need to take action – don't just read this article and forget about it, actually act on what you have learnt! The four pillars of confidence will give you the power necessary for you to be more confident in any situation, and the rest is up to you!


In summary, the four pillars of confidence can help you become more confident. You may have moments where you feel less than confident and that is OK! It is important to understand why this happens so that it does not happen again. The most important part of being confident is taking action when things get tough - don't let your fears hold you back from doing what needs to be done because life will pass by before you know it!

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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2021 Sharma Kalidass


Sharma Kalidass (author) from Malaysia on August 13, 2021:

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us, Dashingscorpio. I'm glad that this writing have resonated with you.

"baby steps" is better than stagnant I would add

dashingscorpio from Chicago on August 13, 2021:

Sound advice.

Confidence begins as a seed planted that grows exponentially over time which each successful outcome in life we experience.

So called "baby steps" are still steps.

Learn to accept the fact that frustration always comes before success when attempting to learn/do something new.

It's just part of the learning process.

Failure is a result not a person. Never stop trying.

The law of attraction does not replace the law of action.

(If you want to learn how to swim eventually you have to get in the water!)

"Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now." — Paulo Coelho

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it." - W.M. Lewis

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