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The 10 Keys to Happiness

The 10 Keys to Happiness: Simple Ways to Be Happy and Enjoy Your Life Regardless of Circumstances

Happiness is the underlying foundation that influences the quality of life.

We all go through things in life that we wish we didn’t have to. This can change how we feel and our outlook. Yet you have a choice to either go through life miserable or to be happy. You are the only one in control of that. There may be plenty of variables in life you can’t control, but your happiness should never be in the hands of someone else.

One of the biggest barriers to true happiness is that we live in a society that tends to encourage us to redeem ourselves with material goods. Then we compare what we have to what others around us have. If they have more, then we may feel that we are less than them. This can really influence the level of happiness that is experienced.


Positive Thinking

Negative thoughts can make us perceive problems that don’t really exist around us. Negativity can cause us to worry and remove our happiness. The problem though is that many people don’t realize just how negative they have become. It may be such a habit, that they are oblivious to it. Another part of that problem is that you may be around people that are negative all the time. They can zap your energy if you aren’t careful. You are going to need to make some changes around those types of people to help you move forward and be happy. We will talk about that more in the next chapter. You may be saying that you can’t help who you are working with. Maybe the lady at the desk right next to you does nothing but complain. It can reduce you from a smiling, happy person in the morning to being grumpy and wishing it was time to go home. You can’t change other people and how they think, but you can reduce how you let it impact you. When negativity is around, it seems to ruin the entire surrounding atmosphere. You can let it continue to do so or you can make it better and be happy in spite of what others say.

One of the easiest and most effective ways to get people to stop being so negative is to ask them how they can change it. For example, if you are listening to someone complain about another person, tell them politely that they need to talk to that person about it if it is ever going to get better. If someone is complaining they don’t understand a school assignment, tell them they need to talk to the instructor about it. When there is a complaint about something, ask what they can do to make it better. All of these options are very simple on your end. Yet it will stop those negative people in their tracks. They will stop being like that around you. Optimistic Pay close attention to how you react to things. If you feel that you are negative with them, change it around. Focus on being optimistic so that you can feel happy. You may be startled at first as you realize the number of times negative thoughts come into your mind. However, the goal is going to be to change them into something positive every single time. You will realize over time you are experiencing negative thoughts less frequently. You will also find that you get into the habit of automatically being optimistic. In time, it will become a huge part of who you are and your lookout for life.

Count your Blessings

When you start to get down, think about all of the blessing you have in your life. Take a moment each morning to add up the little things that will bring you joy that day. Maybe you will get to meet someone new for a date that evening. Perhaps you are going to enjoy lunch with an old friend. Before you go to bed at night, think about the small and big things that occurred that made your day a good one. Did you get some free time to read a book you enjoyed? Were you able to take the dog out for a walk and some time to play at the park? These are the little things in life that really do make us happy! Be Grateful If your way of thinking is about what you want and what you didn’t get, you will always be disappointed. When your mindset is one that allows you to be grateful then you can get through the hard times. You will also be happy because you realize the contentment that comes from the simple things in your life. Be Kind Smiling is one of the best ways to feel happier than you do right now. When you smile, others will smile back at you. They are going to see you as someone that they can approach. They will feel comfortable around. Being kind isn’t hard, it is a choice.

Hold the door open for someone instead of rushing on to take care of your business. Allow someone else to go first at a four way stop when no one is sure who should go next. Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Think about all of the positive ways that you have done well at work, at home, and for others that day. Don’t focus on the things that didn’t go your way or the to do list that never seems to end. Doors Open and Close Life may not always go according to your plans. Perhaps you applied for a job you really wanted and didn’t get hired. However, that means that another door is going to open for you. Don’t close your eyes to this or you may miss out on the best things that are soon to come along. Always look for the good in every situation. No matter how dire it may seem, there is always something to be happy about. When you look at things from such a point of view, you will be mentally empowered. You will know that regardless of what life tosses your direction, you are going to be able to overcome it. When you look at life from such a prospective, you will also appreciate the good things when they do happen in your life. Envision By closing your eyes, you can spend some time envisioning what it takes to make you happy. Focusing on the outcome that will develop is a great way

to start your day of well. It can also be a wonderful way to drift off to sleep at night. When you envision what you really want, you can help to make it happen. During these envisioning episodes, think about how you FEEL during them. Are you happy? Why are you happy in them? That is what you should be focusing on. It could be due to where you are or who you are with that makes all the difference to you. Don’t Fear Mistakes Everyone makes mistakes, so don’t think you are the only one. If you don’t take some risks now and then, you aren’t going to make mistakes. Yet you aren’t going to achieve that level of happiness you want either. Put yourself out there and you may get hurt, but you may also get the best possible scenario. If you don’t take the risk, you will be frozen right where you are. You will also end up with regrets concerning “what if” and those are the kind that can take away your happiness. This doesn’t mean you act careless and then blow off the fact that a mistake was made. Instead, it means you do your very best. It means you learn from your mistakes and continue to hold your head up high. It also means you have the self-worth of knowing you gave it your all.

Surround Yourself with Good People

If you spend time around happy people, you are going to be happy too. There will be far less negativity in your life. There are plenty of things you can do to ensure you have quality relationships. Too often, people try to have as many friends as possible. They love the idea that people like them. As the saying goes, it is better to have 4 quarters than 100 pennies. Simply put, it is the quality of the company you keep that matters, not the volume of it. Surround yourself with those that you love, that you trust, and that you feel comfortable around. You should be able to talk to them and feel like they support you. Communication One of the things that will help you with creating happier relationships is better communication. Listen more than you talk and you will be surprised at how you feel. We are all unique with different points of view. We aren’t going to agree with those we love all the time, but we can be respectful of those differences too. Don’t make assumptions or allow misconceptions to hinder your relationships. Be open and honest about who you are and what you want.Tell the truth, even when it is difficult and you will be a happier person. You won’t be filled with guilt or worry that the truth will one day come out. Get to Know People Don’t hesitate to get to know new people. You can do so through your children’s activities, your hobbies, or just spending time walking around your neighborhood. Be a part of what goes on in your community and you will be able to meet people. If you notice someone at work who is positive and seems like a good person, take the time to get to know them. Make an Effort Relationships need time to develop. Don’t be in a rush to go from just meeting to something very in depth. Give the relationship time to grow and to flourish. Don’t be a wallflower who waits for others to approach them. Make an effort to smile and to be friendly. People aren’t always going to remember what you say to them. With that in mind, don’t spend too much time being anxious about what to say. What people will remember is how you made them feel. If you make an effort to show them that you are fun, positive, and happy, then they will be drawn to you like a magnet. Personal Contact is Important While social media is fun, it has changed the way that people interact. Being happy still involves some personal contact. While sending an email or a text is simple and convenient, don’t rely on it all the time. Pick up the phone and call someone so you can hear their voice. Send someone a handwritten thank you note and it will really brighten up their day. Schedule time to have lunch with a friend or to take a walk at the park with someone so you can get caught up. You will be happier if you are keeping that personal contact in your daily routine. Ask for Help There will be times when life isn’t what we had planned. When you find yourself in a difficult situation, ask for help. You can rely on friends and family to get you through those rough patches. They may have solutions that you didn’t think about. They can also give you encouragement along the way to help you stay positive. If you think you have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, you don’t. Nothing will cause you to feel negative, overworked, and like there is no hope as being on your own and isolated during tough times will. No one can walk that path for you, but they can be there to walk right along with you. Give Help Be a good friend and family member too. Don’t just contact others when you need help. Be willing to reciprocate by offering your help when they ask for it. Depending on the circumstances, you may be able to offer your help or do something positive for them without even being asked.Cut Out Negative People One of the most difficult parts of being happy by surrounding yourself with good people is letting go. Just because someone has been in your life for a long time doesn’t mean they deserve to be there. If you are involved in intimate relationships, you have friends or family, or you just feel that someone is taking advantage then you need to severe those ties. It can be very difficult to do, but it is going to be a step towards happiness that you will be very proud you have taken. With family, it can be hard to completely cut them out. You can start to distance yourself though and set some ground rules. The same is true of co-workers that you don’t feel you have a quality relationship with. Counseling If you have a hard time creating quality relationships, you may need to seek some professional help. Through counseling, you can identify barriers that could be preventing you from true happiness in relationships. Perhaps there are trust issues or other factors that you aren’t fully aware of.

Table of Contents

Positive Thinking

Make Time for You

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Surround Yourself with Good People

Get your Finances Under Control

Face Your Fears

Learn to Say No

Offer Forgiveness

Make a Plan for Change


Learn to Say No

There has to be balance in your life for you to be happy. We all have the same amount of time in a day for work and for other activities. If your schedule is too fully, aren’t going to be happy. Yet you may feel like you have to say yes to everything that comes your direction. Learning to say no is going to make you much happier! It can take some practice, but the trick is to make sure you don’t let guilt get to you. This doesn’t mean you never pitch in and help with anything. However, it means that you carve out time for rest, for fun, and for your other commitments. Take Part in Activities that Mean Something to You When you are asked to take part in an event, think about how you will feel about it. If the activity is something that is meaningful to you, then help with it. For example, if you are asked to help with a fundraiser for the community that could be dear to your heart. When the activity is something you are interested in, you will be motivated to continue with it. You will also get a great deal of personal satisfaction from how you have contributed to that cause. Doing so is going to help you feel very happy.Daily Planner One way to get your time back is to create a daily planner. Mark out segments of time on that planner each day. Unless an emergency comes along, don’t feel that time up with anything else. If you are asked to help with something that you really don’t want to commit to due to a lack of time or other reasons, speak up. No Explanation Necessary The most common reason why people don’t say no is that they don’t have a good explanation. Those that are asking can be very good at getting people to say yes. For example, they may make you feel guilty that you aren’t going to take part in what they are asking. Others will try to flatter you in order to get you to reply that you will do so. For example, they may say that you are so creative and that is why they would like you to be in charge of marketing for the fundraiser. You don’t have to give an explanation when it comes to saying no. Say it politely, thank them for asking you, and then stay firm with your no reply. You don’t have to give any reason at all about why you can’t take part in what they are asking. People Pleaser MentalityPart of the reason it is tough to say no is that we tend to have a people pleaser mentality. We want people to like us, and we often assume saying yes will encourage that. It may in some scenarios, but you have to draw a line. If you are being pulled in all directions, you aren’t going to be happy. You aren’t going to be able to dedicate enough time for rest, for work, and for all of your commitments. Instead, you become resentful of what you have committed to. You may complete it, but you aren’t going to be enjoying it. Instead, you have a chip on your shoulder. When that project is done, you feel relief rather than personal satisfaction. Be Clear Don’t be evasive about why you are saying no. Don’t give them any idea that you are thinking about it or that you may cave in. Simply say that you are already taking on too much and you have make a promise to yourself not to take on anything new right now. They should have enough respect for you to take that as a final no. If someone tries to continue to persist, they should fall into that category of people you need to think about cutting out of your life. They can zap your energy and prevent you from being as happy as you could be.


Make Time for You

Free up time in your daily life just for you. It can be time for you to enjoy your coffee on the porch or to read a couple chapters in a book. Never feel guilty for making time just for you. There may be many roles you play including spouse, parent, and employee. However, that doesn’t mean you should lose sight of your own needs and your own desires. When that happens, you may start to feel robotic in what you do and what actions you take. You may not feel like you are realizing your full potential. Trust your Instincts When it comes to doing what makes you happy, go with your gut. As long as what you do doesn’t harm others or hurt your overall well-being, then take part in it. I have always enjoyed live music so I go to plenty of concerts. Many people think that I am too old for that or that I should save my money. Yet it is what makes me very happy. For those few hours, nothing else matters. I can let go of stress, not worry about things at home, and just enjoy the show. I have also made some wonderful friends that share the same love of music. Some of them I get together with regularly.

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Others, I only get to see at a concert so it is even more special when I do get time with them. You know better than anyone else what it is that will make you happy. Think about how you would feel if you didn’t take part in those activities. If removing them would reduce your level of happiness, then keep taking part in them. Not everyone will understand that, but spending that time on what you enjoy is for you – not for them. Own who you Are Don’t make excuses for spending time on what you like to do. Own who you are and what you enjoy. Your personality should reflect what you enjoy taking time to do. Men seem to have a harder time than women with this, especially if what they enjoy doing isn’t always deemed as masculine. For example, I once worked with a guy who enjoyed baking. He loved to try new recipes in his spare time. Yet he was very hesitant to tell people what he liked to do. When he would bring goodies to the office, people would comment that he was a lucky guy that his wife made such delicious items for him. He didn’t share with many of us that he was actually the one doing the baking. Only those that he really trusted not to tease him about it. In a facility that was mainly men, you can imagine how he thought they may react to the fact that he was their boss but at home baking in the evenings.

It can be hard at times to stay true to who you are and not hide your habits or hobbies. Your personality is unique though and you should be proud of it. By taking time for yourself to enjoy what you like, you will become more comfortable in your own skin. Don’t apologize to others if your path is one that is different from theirs. One of the basis for quality relationships is not only accepting what you have in common with someone but also respecting the differences. If you aren’t accepting of yourself and what you offer, how can you expect anyone else to be? Learning to love yourself and to be kind to yourself is a huge step towards happiness. If you can’t enjoy spending time alone with you, why would anyone else want to? Reflect When you spend time alone, you can relax and you can reflect. Think about some good memories that you have. They will put you in a good mood and help you to feel content. Think about challenges you have worked to overcome, and be proud of the steps you took to make positive changes. You can also reflect on the future and how you plan to achieve the goals you have in place. The process of reflection allows us to slow down and to be in touch with ourselves. We may live a very fast paced life, and that means that we don’t always get the results we are looking for. We can develop tunnel vision and reflection allows you to really see the big picture.

Give your Time

Even though you are making time for yourself, do what you can to donate some time now and then. If you enjoy knitting, make some extra hats and scarves that you can donate to a homeless shelter. If you enjoy baking, take some cookies over to the local senior center for them to enjoy. Go through your home and clean out clothing and other items you no longer use. There is always someone who can use them. Donate them to a shelter or a second hand store. Do what you can to give back with some of your free time. Hobbies Find a couple of hobbies you really enjoy. If you aren’t sure, try something new. Perhaps a dance class or an art class. You can also spend some time creating a book club or you can do some home repair projects. Your hobbies should reflect who you are and what you enjoy taking part in. They can help you reduce stress and to feel like you are completing something positive. A couple of hobbies can prevent you from getting bored or taking part in activities that are negative.

Get your Finances Under Control

One of the big factors in life that can zap your happiness is financial stress. It is true that the economy is tough, but that isn’t an excuse to be being on bills an owing lots of debt. Take responsibility so that you are able to feel good about your financial situation. If you have the mindset that more money would solve your issues, you are wrong. It is true that you should strive to live above the poverty level. Yet financial comfort isn’t going to equate to more happiness. For many individuals, it can mean less free time and more stress. Love your Career The number of hours and years that the average person spends working in their lifetime is very high. Therefore, you need to love your career if you are going to be happy. Don’t take a career you hate just to make more money. Of course it is important to make sure you have a job that will pay the bills! Some people get a job and they stay with it for decades. They continue to move up the ladder and they do very well. There are jobs that are a good starting point, but they aren’t going to move upward. Don’t get trapped in a dead end job. It is never too late to expand your knowledge. Look for a new job, learn a new skill, or even go back to college to earn a degree.


In order to get your finances under control, you need to take a good inventory of your spending. Make a list of all of your monthly bills. This should include:


Car Payments/Leasing/Public Transportation




Medical supplies/Medications


Next, make a list of all of your variable expenses. These are unsecured debt items that you can pay off. This should include:

Credit Cards

Personal Loans

Revolving Credit

Make a list of all of your income and compare it to your expenses. This is what you have left over each month. With your variable expenses, do what you can to pay more than the minimum each month so you pay it off quicker and reduce overall interest.

Plan of Action

If your budget seems out of control, get help. There are many financial entities that will help you to budget without any charge. They have budgeting classes that help you to get back on track. If you have a significant other, the plan of action for finances should be done as a team. Create goals that you both work towards and re-evaluate your plan regularly. If your expenses are far more than your income, it is time to make some changes. Can you get a second job to supplement the income and pay down debt? Can you work from home in your free time to generate more money for the household? Perhaps you need to move to a lower priced residence or you need to trade in your car for one that is more affordable. If you owe a significant amount of unsecured debt, talk to them about lowering your interest or a payoff. If you provide a lump sum of cash for the account they may significantly lower the dollar amount that you owe in order to successfully erase that debt. It is best to avoid consolidation lenders as they often have high fees and your credit score can suffer in the end. You also want to avoid filing bankruptcy unless it is absolutely necessary.


Pay attention to how much you spend for extras. Eating out, going to the movies, and even buying coffee at a café can all add up quickly. When you identify where you are spending your money, you can cut down on some of those extras. Identify one or two things you really want to have extra. Allocate an allowance for them and once it is spent, that is it. Savings In addition to paying your monthly bills, you should also be paying yourself. Allocate a percentage of your income or a set dollar amount for savings. This is important so that you can have money in place for emergencies. Then you won’t have to use a credit card or revolving credit should there be an emergency. When you use money you have saved, you don’t have that interest to think about. Retirement Preparing for the future is also very important. Retirement may seem like a long time from now, but it will arrive. Being prepared for it is very important and you need to start as early as you can. If your employer has retirement plans such as 401k, contribute the maximum that you can. If your employer doesn’t offer this, you should talk to a retirement advisor. They can help you to get accounts set up. If you change from one job to the next, roll over your retirement plan instead of cashing it out.

You should diversify your portfolio so that you have retirement funds spread out. This will help you to avoid a huge loss should any certain investment not do very well. The level of risk you take with your retirement is also important to think about. The closer you get to retirement, the less risk you should be with those funds.

Offer Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a very powerful source of happiness. We can hold onto grudges and mistakes for far too long. They can poison our mind, our soul, and take away from the good things in our lives. When we fail to forgive, resentment can get the best of us. When we talk about forgiveness in order to increase happiness, there are 3 categories:

Asking for forgiveness

Offering forgiveness

Forgiving yourself

Asking for Forgiveness There can be many reasons why we don’t ask for forgiveness. Maybe we have too much pride or we feel that too much time has gone by. Maybe we worry that it won’t matter to the other person or persons involved and it will be a lost cause. Asking for forgiveness is never a sign of weakness. Instead, it means that you want to release those negative feelings once and for all. You can ask for forgiveness in person or you can write a personal letter. A phone call can be nice too but if you aren’t sure how the other party will respond it may be best not to. You can always send them a letter and tell them you would like to talk and then they have the opportunity to contact you if they would like to. A phone call or in person can put them on the spot and make it hard for them to come to terms with their emotions due to you contacting them. With a letter it can give them some time to think about all of it and to make the decision to listen to what you have to say. Make sure your request for forgiveness is genuine and that is specifically states what you are apologizing for. You don’t have to assign blame and you don’t have to get into the specifics of who was right or wrong. Even if they don’t accept your apology, you will have the peace of mind that you extended the olive branch. You will be able to let go of the situation and you will know that you did what you could to make things right. The happiness that it will give you is unbelievable because you will be able to let go. Offering Forgiveness When it comes to offering forgiveness, try to be kind. Keep in mind how difficult it can be for someone to reach out to you. If you feel they are genuinely sorry for what happened, then let it go. You may have some questions that you would like them to answer. It is fine to ask so that you can get some closure with the situation.

It isn’t always instant that you will be able to offer forgiveness. It is fine to tell someone that you are no longer angry but that you are hurt. Your emotions can shift before you can fully let go and forgive. You may find that you can no longer let the relationship go back to what it used to be, but that you have some respect for that person now. One of the hardest things to do in terms of offering forgiveness so that you can be happy is to let go when there is no apology. We have to remember that people do things for a variety of reasons. Perceptions can play a huge role in what hurts us or makes us angry. Sometimes, we get hurt in the crossfire of what someone else is going through. They may be struggling with addictions, mental health, or other issues that we aren’t fully aware of. Try to be compassionate and to forgive when you can. This doesn’t mean they win, it just means you are no longer willing to keep replaying that scenario in your mind and letting it get the best of you. Forgiving Yourself We can be our own hardest critics, and that means that we can sabotage our own happiness. You have to be forgiving with yourself. Let go of past mistakes and move forward. Tell yourself that you did the best you could with the information you had at the time.

The fact that you are able to realize now that there was a better way to handle something means that you have grown. You aren’t making the same mistakes again and again and not making positive changes in your life. In life, if you keep looking in that rearview mirror, you will miss what is in front of you. Your past may have left some scars, but they only prove that you were stronger than what was trying to hold you back. That is certainly something to smile about! Counseling Sometimes, the issues that have occurred are just too great for us to work out on our own. If you can’t forgive, you aren’t alone and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Give it time to work through emotions and to see a better side of things. Talking to a counselor can be a wonderful way to work through feelings. It can aid in the healing process so that you can move on and so that you can feel happier. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you no longer feel hurt or anger. It simply means you are in control over those feelings and you are empowered by your dedications to be happy in spite of what has occurred in the past.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

If you tend to think that the grass is always greener on the other side, you are reducing your own happiness. It can be difficult at times to be happy for the success of others. However, that often has to do with a lack of selfesteem and a lack of being content with what you have accomplished. Keep in mind that you don’t know the battles they have fought to get where they are today. Very few people did so without sacrifice, hard work, or without mistakes along that path. What you see is them at the top of the mountain, but often you missed that difficult journey to reach the peak. Appreciate Take some time to really appreciate what you have around do. If you are able to make ends meet, you have some quality relationships, and you enjoy your hobbies then you are doing well. It is fine to have goals and to reach for more. Just make sure you don’t miss out on the happiness right in front of you due to reaching and reaching. Jobs It can be tough to work with someone day in and day out that has a better role in the organization than you do. Perhaps you applied for that same job when it came open and you didn’t get it. Find reasons to be very content in the job you do have. Stop to consider how many unemployed people would love to have your job if it was offered to them! If you aren’t happy in your job, think about making some changes. Perhaps you can learn a new area of the business you already work for. Maybe it is time to take on a new adventure in another company. You aren’t held down to the job you have unless you have a contract for a specific period of time. A fresh start, new faces, and new challenges can be just what you need in the workforce to make you happy. House Our house is our castle, but we can take it for granted over time. Maybe you are tired of seeing the same thing day after day. If you want to remain in that home, make some changes. New windows, new curtains, and even new paint can certainly change the appeal of it. Add some lovely paintings to offer new focal points in each room. If your home is too large or too expensive, consider selling it and downsizing. Moving to a smaller place can mean less upkeep and it can save you money. Of course you may have to get rid of many items too so you need to think about what you would be willing to part with. Don’t be upset if someone has a bigger home than you do. Don’t be angry that it is in a better location than where yours is. Be proud of what you are in and make sure you don’t overextend what you can afford to keep up with others you know and their homes. Car Safety and affordability should be key factors when it comes to buying or leasing a car. Don’t buy one just to compete with what your neighbors have in the driveway. A sports car isn’t going to make you happy, even though it can look sharp and be fun to drive! Children Don’t compare your children to those of someone else! We all have concerns about our kids. Each child has a different rate of learning, different interests, and different behaviors. You can’t compare what your child does in terms of learning or achievements to others. Focus on what your child offers and that is what will keep you happy as well as them! Appearance You have to be content with your appearance in order to be happy. You don’t have to look like a model though. We often see celebrities that look amazing just a few weeks after giving birth. Keep in mind, they have personal trainers and chefs. They also have help with the baby so they can get enough rest. Someone selects their clothing, does their hair, and their makeup The average person doesn’t have access to those things. Yet we tend to compare ourselves to the looks of celebrities. It is fine to admire celebrities but make sure you keep in mind that they aren’t doing it all on their own. Don’t compare your looks to those of your friends or family either. We all have unique features that work for us. If you don’t like things about your body, work to change them. For example, lose some weight or tone up. If you aren’t happy with the way your face looks, consider different makeup products. Changing your hair color and hair cut can also make a difference in how you look. Be happy with the person you see in the mirror. While we do live in a society that puts a huge impact of physical appearance, it really is the person inside that will get noticed. If people are only paying attention to you due to physical attributes, those aren’t the right types of people to associate with.

Face Your Fears

Nothing will destroy happiness or prevent you from achieving it like fear. There are many types of fear that people experience that can hold them back. The fear of failure is the biggest one. As we touch on previously, if you don’t try then you will never know. Mistakes can happen but so can success. It can often take many trials, errors, and mistakes to be able to find success. Some of the most successful people in the world were once in dire straits due to not giving up on their ideas. With each failure, they learned one more way not to do what they were trying to achieve. Being positive and moving through fear is very important. Think about the best case scenario that can result from your efforts. Think about the worst case scenario too. Be ready for the best but prepare for the worst. The funny thing about our fears is that they are usually not as bad as the monster we had created in our own minds. When we face those fears, we become empowered and we move forward. We are able to say that we are strong and that brings us a sense of happiness too.


Always believe that you can do what you set out to do. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, you are going to cave in to doubt. If you have positive people around you, they can help you to erase such doubt. If your social structure consists of those that put you down rather than lifting you up, doubt will win. When you have doubts, tell yourself why you CAN accomplish what you would like to. Keep in mind that you will always fail if you say nothing or you take no action. It is only when you take steps to move forward that you are able to really see the difference. If you have doubts, make a list of them. Then make a list of what is at stake for you to gain. Seeing it all on paper can give you the edge you need to take action. Calculated Risk Facing fears though doesn’t mean you throw caution to the wind. Some types of fears actually keep us safe from harm. Think about what you are going to try and why you want to try it. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. Don’t allow dangerous antics to be part of facing your fears as they could cause you physical harm. A calculated risk involves looking at the options and coming up with the best fitting solution for your needs. It helps to look at the common pitfalls and ways to avoid them. With this type of risk, you can significnalty reduce the risk of failure.

Stay Positive

If you are positive, you can even get some great energy from your fears. Any time that they start to feel negative, twist them around. When you have positive thoughts, you will attract the success you really want. Focus on breathing regularly when you feel fear so that it won’t hold you down. Focus on victories you have accomplished to help you stay positive. If you have only reached part of your goal, you are still further than when you first began. Don’t let failure be all or nothing in your book. Realistic You don’t want to set yourself up for failure either. You need a realistic plan of action that isn’t too difficult or too easy. For example, your plan can’t be to lose 25 pounds but you don’t plan to change how you eat or to exercise. You may want to find a better job but you have to realistically be willing to learn some new skills if you want a better job. In the next chapter, we will talk about a plan of action and how to use it to move forward in your life. As you do so, you will feel achievement, selfworth, and you will be happier! In the end, we tend to really only regret the chances we didn’t take. That is why you have to face your fears and move forward. It isn’t always going to be easy, and it won’t always work out the way you want it to. Yet you won’t stay awake at night wishing you hadn’t let such an opportunity pass you by.

© 2021 Ali Eissa

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