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"That" First Kiss is Like a Charging Rhino

Kenneth, born and raised in the South, resides in Hamilton, Alabama. He enjoys sharing his unique perspectives on life through his writing.

"That" one moment where (a) kiss occurs will never be copied.

"That" one moment where (a) kiss occurs will never be copied.

This is an awkward, nervous, shaky-handed typed essay made up of my personal memories of "that" first kiss that I ever had. There is more to kissing a pretty girl on the lips for the first time than you would think. I know. And you should know. By the time that this piece is finished, we both will be more sensitive about our own feelings and to those of others.

Who am I kidding? This is real life. And it is probably "the" scariest moment (besides asking Jesus to save your soul) or saying your wedding vows. I might have my events out of sync, but I just tell it like I see it. Some who read this might cringe and others with weak nervous systems may run for their lives. I don't know. I'm trying very hard to just present my case and be responsible in the process.

What I'm laboring to say is that for us young guys, about 16, just knowing that we will go with a certain girl who we've talked to after English class and she consented to go with me to the movies, but now, I am ready to be placed in a straight jacket. My hands are shaking. My feet are shaking and my hair is wet with sweat. You'd think that I was on the team of physicists along with J. Robert Oppenheimer, and his team who built the Atomic Bomb. Scary is not even close. And those scary thoughts are seeping into my mind so much so that I am tempted to call the girl up and lie like a dog so I can just hang-out at home in my room. Briefly, it would be like staring straight-down to a charging rhino.

"That" kiss instantly brings closeness.

"That" kiss instantly brings closeness.

Nope. I'm not made like that, but the girl is so pretty that I feel as if we could go steady. Look at my wrist watch . . .oh, man, 2:34 p.m., here on a Friday afternoon and I have about four hours to shower, lay-out my best jeans and shirt and get ready to head to "paradise."

Hey, my talking to myself has paid-off. I'm fine. I got this made. Look out, pretty girl!

Guys, I know what I'm talking about. "That" first kiss, from us guys, can be considered a "house of horrors," and I am not kidding. To talk about the logistics of executing "that" first kiss can also be thought of as a shivering kid walking home from a neighbor's home and it is on Halloween night. A scary sound breaks the silence. Shivering kid is now shaking and shivering then a horrific-looking man with no head riding a black Stallion rides up, and the man laughs that evil laugh and rides away. The shivering, shaking kid, if you must know, is me.

And guys, you do not have to be sitting in the back seat on a double-date to give your pretty girl date "that" first kiss. No, you can be taking that pretty girl on your first date in your car. I cannot figure which system works the best, but I'd wager that you driving your car with your date could give you that boost of confidence which will help you deliver "that" romantic kiss that you have been dreaming of for months.
Okay. Years. And now comes all of those horrific, unsettling thoughts that can make you into a quivering mouse headed for the trap. "What if . . .?" is a popular game played among excited guys who are about to kiss a very special girl for the first time.

"What if my pants rip?" "What if she thinks that I have smelly breath?" "Wonder how my hair will look when we kiss?" "Will the girl want to get married right away?" Are only a few of those thoughts that can make a guy a glob of homemade jelly preserves. And really, the same thing is happening with the pretty girl who is waiting to be picked-up by this boy whom I've been talking about.

"That" kiss can also be a lot of fun.

"That" kiss can also be a lot of fun.

Now all of the thoughts are finished. He checks his breath. And fly. She is inspecting her appearance in her living room. But guys, let me let you in on something. Guys are far worse than girls who allow their harsh thoughts to make them cry for help. Girls on the other hand do have the basic thoughts, but hide them better.

When guys either ride with their pretty dates or ride with them in the backseat, believe me, guys, it's like time slows down as slow as molasses. This is a true fact. But please allow me to share with you, in my humble opinion, "one of," but not "the" best kiss that I was ever blessed with.

The year: 1973. The month: June. The season: Summer. And it was hot. Very hot. I had been graduated from high school in May of 1972 and working for a local mobile home factory and not loving it at all. But the money was okay and I was on what we guys call "the perfect date," and I never forgot the girl or any of those intimate details.

My best friend, the now-late Rondal Smotherman, from where we both lived, Hamilton, Al., were double-dating these two girls from a small town close to Hamilton and we were excited. We met them and began our date. Sure we rode around, talked, told jokes, as people on dates do and then, I've always believed that God spoke to Smotherman and told him to head to a local softball field because there we were and without any complaint.

Smotherman and his date went to the upper deck and we talking in whispers and my date, her real name, Donna, a ginger-haired gorgeous girl, and I were sitting near the dug-out and just resting. Now mind you that there was no game being played at the time, so we just enjoyed the moment.

Then it hit me. I said, "Do you care if I kiss you, Donna?" and yes, I was so nervous.

What a memorable reply she gave me, "You don't need to ask." And I didn't. We sat there for what seemed like two days and nights and kissed and kissed. Donna was an expert-kisser. I would tell you about the story about a woman having lips that could get a baseball through a garden hose, but I care, even now, too much for her to say such.

From these moments to the end of that night, we kissed and talked. We made some plans. Plus, kissing more before I took her home. Rondal used his car and he and his date left me with my car in the town where our dates lived.

Donna and I said bye for the night and talked on the phone for many nights hence. But she didn't want a serious relationship. Neither did I. Later on, we just drifted-apart, but she stayed in my memories for YEARS, including the one here.
Guys, I will close by telling you about being too scared to kiss your date and if you do, you will have a miserable time. But if you power-through and keep your fear in its place and kiss your date as warmly as possible. . .you will have a GREAT time.

I promise.

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Nope. I'm not made like that, but the girl is so pretty that I feel as if we could go steady. Look at my wrist watch . . .oh, man, 2:34 p.m., here on a Friday afternoon and I have about four hours to shower, lay-out my best jeans and shirt and get ready to head to "paradise."

Hey, my talking to myself has paid-off. I'm fine. I got this made. Look out, pretty girl!
Guys, I know what I'm talking about. "That" first kiss, from us guys, can be considered a "house of horrors," and I am not kidding. To talk about the logistics of executing "that" first kiss can also be thought of as a shivering kid walking home from a neighbor's home and it is on Halloween night. A scary sound breaks the silence. Shivering kid is now shaking and shivering then a horrific-looking man with no head riding a black Stallion rides up, and the man laughs that evil laugh and rides away. The shivering, shaking kid, if you must know, is me.

And guys, you do not have to be sitting in the back seat on a double-date to give your pretty girl date "that" first kiss. No, you can be taking that pretty girl on your first date in your car. I cannot figure which system works the best, but I'd wager that you driving your car with your date could give you that boost of confidence which will help you deliver "that" romantic kiss that you have been dreaming of for months.
Okay. Years. And now comes all of those horrific, unsettling thoughts that can make you into a quivering mouse headed for the trap. "What if . . .?" is a popular game played among excited guys who are about to kiss a very special girl for the first time.

"What if my pants rip?" "What if she thinks that I have smelly breath?" "Wonder how my hair will look when we kiss?" "Will the girl want to get married right away?" Are only a few of those thoughts that can make a guy a glob of homemade jelly preserves. And really, the same thing is happening with the pretty girl who is waiting to be picked-up by this boy whom I've been talking about.

© 2021 Kenneth Avery

Comments

Rashidul I on September 03, 2021:

Interesting!

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on September 03, 2021:

This is an interesting article, Greg. Now I know how a boy feels about that first exciting kiss. Thanks!

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on September 03, 2021:

I think those moments are scary for both boy & girl.

Nice to see the boy's perspective...

They are actually afraid?

That first kiss...it gets us, but the memories stay.

Part of your article repeats after urls.

OLUSEGUN from NIGERIA on September 03, 2021:

1973, that is close to 5 decades. Good memory poured out here. I enjoyed reading this.

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