Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.
The INFJ is one of the most mysterious texters of all, if not the most mysterious. You probably will not crack the person through their fine, well crafted texts. INFJ personalities are usually strong writers. In fact, many of the most well known authors are INFJs. Texting with an INFJ may be confusing if you want to get to them, whether as friends or romantically. An INFJ will text you in secret codes. They are not the most upfront or blunt people... generally speaking. They like to take their time crafting a connection.
Romantically, INFJ can seem like a mixture of warm and completely cold. They are friendly toward you, yes, but you might not know they are interested in you. If you are wanting to heat things up with an INFJ, take it slow, show them they can trust you. They are generally intelligent and are looking for a long term romantic partner. They like to have chats about just about anything. They are great listeners. They like to know how you are feeling and thinking. You might receive novel long texts from an INFJ if the personality is interested in you.
INFJ Romance Texts
When an INFJ likes someone, they will consistently text that person back. They tend to like to be pursued. They feel out of their element when they are doing the pursuing, and it can make them feel more anxious. It helps them out a lot if you lead the way to a romance... they like to follow, reciprocate, and adjust. INFJ likes to text once they find someone who is on the same wavelength. They may like texting morning, afternoon, and night. You should expect your texts to be more weird and random than flat out flirtatious. They'll use texting to build creative stories with you. They like to make people laugh, and they are attracted to funny people. This is why they go for someone like ENFP or even ENTP. They like big warm personalities; it's helpful when they have more introverted and mystical personalities.
An INFJ will send you a ton of texts once there is momentum. At the beginning stages, they may take awhile to text back. Why? INFJ people tend to have insanely social lives. They work well in a number of circles and are involved in a number of places while also still maintaining an introverted air. How do they do this? Because introverts love ideas, and the most interesting ideas to INFJ are people.
They might not want to text you a whole lot at the beginning because it seems like an obligation that they would have to add to all their other social responsibilities. If you do well to create an engaging, entertaining, and thought provoking texting spread -- you'll get the INFJ to eventually text you more than you text them.
As excellent writers and listeners, INFJ is also a great reader. They can analyze just about anything. They can read between the lines. In fact, when they like someone they are constantly reading them to see what kind of person they are, why they are functioning the way they do, and their overall intent. INFJ are great at counseling and understanding social relations. When you send them a text they'll consider what you've written, the time of day, your level of interest, why you're interested in them, how long they expect that interest to last, and if any of it is sincere. With consistency you can show the INFJ you are sincere. INFJ wants to be charming, not cheesy or inauthentic. They want to be unusual, not normal or boring. They want to be themselves, not an act or performance that isn't them. They are genuine people looking for a genuine person that makes sense with them.
INFJ is a great friend to have with texting. They'll read your texts with a great amount of sincerity. They're great at instantly understanding a social situation and even more, they'll give you their advice and let you decide what you want to do with the advice.
INFJ will text you to hang out with them regularly, they'll make you laugh, and they'll check in to see how you're doing. The INFJ likes to build strong connections with lots of people. They make an army of friends quite naturally, whether they want to admit it or not. Once an INFJ is cool with itself and its self esteem, they'll start finding good friends. Sometimes INFJ has to deal with inner demons before it can get to this stage... and after having a solid ground social networking, an INFJ might start looking for some romance. Friendships are important to an INFJ. They see the value in people and want to bring that value out. They are kindred spirits, the Jane Goodalls we all wish we could be.
INFJ cares deeply about its family and friends. Unless of course... they go the Hitler route, which even still... yeah, let's not go there. Hitler sucks.
INFJ friends have a lot to offer. They may when younger have really explosive emotions, but as they mature they are some of the most peaceful and calm people you will ever meet. They desire a great deal of creative growth and want to know and understand the planet.
Signs You're Texting an INFJ
1. Long texts with impressive language. These stop if you don't seem to reciprocate.
2. Friendly texts to see if you want to hang out with them.
3. INFJ are great at being interpersonal. They love to go get lunch, dinner, coffee, drinks, etc.
4. Crazy weird texts. Imagine all the strangest movies and books from childhood and them being vomited out into a text.
5. Texts with seemingly perfect grammar, spelling, and originality.
6. Texts that seem to be going nowhere and everywhere all at once.
7. Expect pictures of cats, happy faces on cakes, and lots of exuberance. INFJ loves to send messages with a touch of friendliness.
8. Texts reminding you to hangout, pick up dinner, or to be weird.
9. An explosion of energy that comes from nowhere. The seemingly reserved, modest person suddenly opens up to you and its like an apocalypse escapes a can of worms.
10. Jokes. All kinds of jokes. INFJ is a jokester. It makes them feel more comfortable.
11. A peaceful, chillness that most other personalities can't begin to replicate. INFJ finds its inner peace and owns it hoping that it'll build a pathway to eternal life, the pursuit of happiness, and the holy grail.
12. Tips on great movies, books, and albums to go through before you die. INFJ tends to have eclectic tastes. If you want to find the finer side of life, ask an INFJ what are some of their favorite movies. Get them to make you a list and share it with you.
13. INFJ likes a little bit of text competition. You text them, they'll text you back. They like to keep going with the conversation until suddenly the other person folds... and the other person probably doesn't even know its a fun loving game for the INFJ.
14. Texts complimenting the heck out of you for no reason. INFJ knows how to flatter someone's ego up to the moon and back.
15. INFJ will send you complete gibberish because they don't know what to say and they're hoping you'll be able to fill in the blanks.
16. Your INFJ friend could fall prey to their philosophical self. Look out for when they ramble off about the existential self. Let them ramble. Feed the flame. It'll make them feel better and give you brownie points.
17. Let them write about kittens, puppies, Sasquatches, quantum mechanics, purple dragons, and the Mongolian Republic.
18. An INFJ is full of creativity. They have a lot to offer in conversation. The INFJ is also humble and wants you to feel socially comfortable, so if you feel like they're being too much, try to find a way to tell them, and they'll go along with it peacefully.
19. An INFJ likes to use that witty vernacular they have in stock. Encourage it.
20. An INFJ may randomly ask you if you want to run off to Europe together.
How You Should Text an INFJ
If you are wanting to get closer to an INFJ, you should text them in a friendly, encouraging way. If you off come rude, the INFJ will be confused. It is a sensitive personality that cares about the emotions of others. If you are acting funky, the INFJ will consider what might be the core issue. So don't send an INFJ angry texts unless you want to be opened up emotionally. INFJ does well with just about any kind of texting. They'll tell you up front how they feel and why they feel the way they do.
An INFJ likes to take their time getting to know someone. They feel there is a lot to process in getting to know someone adequately. The best way to get an INFJ on your side is to be engaging and fun. INFJ likes to spend time with interesting people. If you seem fun, carefree, and consistent, an INFJ will treasure you as a friend. This is a personality that likes to be friends before moving on to a relationship... at least often times.
An INFJ wants to know your interests. They might not pony up their interests because they don't want to make you feel unwelcome or confused because they tend to like really bizarre things. If they know you are into weird, slap happy stuff, they'll probably share that side of themselves with you. INFJ is secretly a badass. They have visions of being powerful leaders, riding off into the sunset on a motorcycle, and slaying mystical dragons. They have incredibly powerful minds, but on the exterior they come off as more graceful, kindred, and polite. This is why they often attract edgy people into their lives, because deep down they're a little bit edgy and rebellious too. They love getting to meet new people and integrating them into their lives. But they don't like being overwhelmed in social situations. They tend to target a handful of people at parties and use those as social anchors to properly navigate through the complex social waters of adult life.
Kathryn Collins from UK on March 05, 2020:
I am an INFJ. I don't have a lot of friends but I do have a lot of acquaintances. My 2 closest friends are INFP and ENFP. They are the only people I really relate to on a deep level. Nice article
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on January 04, 2018:
Glad to hear that!
kimber007 from Somewhere... on December 30, 2017:
13 is spot on! Great article.
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on November 06, 2016:
Why thank you! I hope you can find a community where you feel you belong. I always keep in the back of my mind that it is easier for me to understand someone than vice versa. Some places in this world are more open to INFJ types, as well as certain professions. I find it gets easier as I get older. You'll find lots of INFJ folk in English departments across the globe, delving into writing, the arts, music, counseling. The NF crowd will definitely jive with you, and the also very rare INTJ. INTP makes for good friends too, I have found. They also feel pretty misunderstood, but people are more accepting of their brains. Just remember, you are unique, brilliant, and we need you here on this planet.
Diana on November 02, 2016:
What you wrote is 100% correct! As an INFJ(i have done the MBTI test many times) i can relate to this. That's how i text and behave around people that i find genuine and interesting. Though,i saw a pattern regarding my life...when i become philosophical people tend to back off.
I was talking to a person who seemed very intelligent and open-minded,but i started to go a little deeper into conversation, i saw a change in behaviour of that person. Of course i haven't insisted and i stopped writting too. But it was a bit sad what happened. To me this happens a lot and because of this i am more reserved . But maybe it was better this way. As persons we all are a bit insecure and we all wear a mask to protect ourselves from being misunderstood. The fact that this happened, made me be more selective than before(i find this paradox) and it made me let in only those who understand and in front of whom i don't have to be someo e else.
Great article! And i also like your writing style! Good job and keep it up!
Andrea Lawrence (author) from Chicago on March 29, 2016:
threekeys on March 29, 2016:
Loved your article...