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Ten types of Housewives

Nyamweya is a columnist with a Kenyan print media.He is also a freelance writer with various online and offline media platforms

Housewive

Housewive

Most women would find themselves as housewives for one reason or another. This could be due to lack of a job, capital for business or when lactating. However, what matters is the character of these women while being housewives. While there are those who prefer staying indoors, others are outdoor oriented and will dash out as soon as the husband is out for work. Here are ten types of housewives you will come across.

The Gossip Master

She wakes up and goes straight to the neighbor for gossip sessions. In such discussions, she is always the source of juicy topics and rumors as she knows what each and every person in the residential plot or neighborhood goes through on a daily basis. She is aware which woman was beaten by her husband last night or which man changes women like clothes. She is also fond of telling these women how her husband is the best.

The Restless

She dashes out of her house as soon as the husband has gone for work at 6am to God knows where. She would report at 5pm, just shortly before the husband reports back. However, she will swear that she has been in the house the whole day when the husband doubts so after finding the house in a disorderly state. Woe unto the husband if he comes back at odd hours since he will find the door locked and the wives phone unreachable.

The social media guru

Her day is spent chatting with friends and exes on wattsup, twitter facebook, tiktok and instagram. She is a major contributor at Kilimani Mum’s and Dad’s place with weird posts or comment’s to others views. Her wattsup profile is always turned online and always forwards messages or replies to people’s texts. Her other hobbies are checking updates on Face Book and twitter and replying to them.

The TV Oriented

She is a fan of each and every program on TV. Once she wakes up at 11am, she immediately reaches out for her remote and goes straight to Afro cinema, after which she switches to the latest episodes on the English series. She knows which channels have the best episodes and can even subscribe to them if they require so. You will also see her busy watching cartoons, football, Kenyan comedies and even preaching. If she starts cooking when watching her favorite program is on, it will be a disaster because the food will get burned. She will suddenly remember that she hasn’t done her laundry when power is off.

The SlayQueen

She is going nowhere but her work revolves around make ups. She even changes clothes three times aday and goes on to post photos of herself on instagram, facebook and tiktok. She will even go on to post photos of herself being somewhere in Lamu, Dubai and Berlin on the same day.

The Player

This one plays her husband on the full glare of the neighbours. Once the man of the house is out for work or other errands, she is kept busy by the caretaker or the next neighbor. She is even confident enough to go out on a date with her secret lover or even bring him on the house when the man of the house is a way.

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The lazy type

She hates anything to do with house chores and an impromptu visit will put her and the man in an embarrassing situation. You can even find dirty linen on the sofaset while the house is as dirty as that of a notorious bachelor. She even takes a birth after four days or even more when the weather is un-conducive.

The hustler

She will occasionally go out to wash other people’s clothes or wash corridors on rental plots just to get some pocket money. Her husband knows her as jobless but he will find supper ready, complete with meat delicacies despite being penniless.

The lonely

She doesn’t like company and instead prefers staying alone. She considers neighbors and all other people enemies of development and as such, doesn’t want anything to do with anybody. Once the sun is set up, she grabs her stool to the balcony kuota jua. After she is done with this, she goes to the house to take a nap.

The entertainer

This is the one who hosts the gossipers, the rumor mongers and the series DJs who have left their 14 inch TVs for the 32 one with clear pictures. With this one, the husband has no luck in terms of food budget. This is because the series commentators and rumor mongers will be hanging around way past lunch time while also demanding tea and snacks from their host.

Comments

Silas Nyamweya (author) from Nairobi, Kenya on September 02, 2020:

Thanks dashingscorpio for the add up

dashingscorpio from Chicago on September 02, 2020:

The Cheater

She has an online dating profile and meets men for love and romance or she is having an affair with a man who works nights. What may have started off as "innocent flirting" due to boredom gradually led to meeting in person and one thing led to another...

The Shopper

She spends money faster than her husband earns it. When she's not buying things for herself, the kids, or the household she is going to beauty shop, getting her nails done, or having a spa day.

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