As a psychic I'm often asked for business advice, especially on motivation and procrastination.
How likely is it that if you sit at home all day, that someone walking down the street will just feel compelled to knock on your door and turn out to be your one true forever love?
Sure it's possible. It's also possible that cats will learn to speak English.
And yet many people seem to expect it to happen. (Not the cat's speaking English part.)
If you want to find your love, then you need to get out there and open yourself to it. You need to take concrete action.
So how do you do that? What positive steps can you take to find the perfect person for you, while avoiding the pitfalls of the dating game?
Consider Where You're Looking For Love
Most folks tend to consider dating websites, singles bars and that sort of thing.
Although, hubby and I actually did meet on a dating site, I don't recommend this as a first resort. Unless you choose a site that is geared to a particular lifestyle that is important to you. When I found my husband I'd been on a Pagan dating site, but there were very few guys in my area that felt right for me. Lucky for me, they had a sister site for the Gothic crowd. That's where we met.
I tend to have a low opinion of dating sites that claim to match you to your perfect person via all kinds of algorithms. One openly states that they won't match folks from two different religions. Since hubby identifies as a cross between Christian and Native American beliefs, we would never have come together on those kinds of sites. Of course your results may vary.
As for singles bars, you'll meet the kind of person that likes to hang out at bars. If that's not you, you're already in the wrong place.
So what's my suggestion?
Go Where You're Having Fun
If you like sky diving, hang out with sky divers. If you love art, go to art shows or museums. If you're into medieval history, join the Society for Creative Anachronism.
Why does this work?
When you're having a great time you'll glow with it. Joy is naturally attractive. Therefore you're more likely to draw someone to you.
You'll be more likely to find someone that you have interests in common with. No, you and your prospective mate don't need to have every single interest and hobby in common, but it certainly helps to have a few.
Finally, if you're having a great time, doing something you love, then it's not a waste of time. Even if you don't meet Mr. or Ms. Right immediately.
Don't be afraid to use the web for this too. Get involved in discussion sites and forums on subjects that interest you. My brother met his wife on a forum for paranormal interests. Pretty soon they were exchanging private messages and then phone calls. She moved clear across the country to be with him. It's been over 20 years now, and they're still crazy in love.
Take a Class
You don't need to take a formal college class, unless you want to. Think about your interests and check into what opportunities are available in your local area. Whether you like painting, sailing or karate, get out and learn something.
Yes, this is a subset of Go Where You're Having Fun, and in the same way, you'll meet folks who share your interests. Even if you don't meet the right person at the class itself, you've expanded your circle of friends, and thus the chance that they know the perfect person for you.
Plus you'll learn something. Gaining a new skill is never a waste of time.
Dance is fun. It's a fundamental part of our human expression. Again, having fun makes you glow.
If it's not fun, you're doing it wrong. Enjoy the music and don't worry about looking silly. Let your body do what it already knows how to do. And being silly is perfectly fine. Who knows -- you might even invent the next big dance craze.
And don't tell me that you're not capable of dancing, unless you're not capable of movement at all. The guy I dated before I met my husband was in a wheelchair. And he loved to dance.
A disclaimer here: My husband is a ballroom dance instructor. However this is advice I gave way before I ever met him. I met my ex partly because I was taking belly dancing classes. I will say that one of the reasons I decided to contact my now-and-forever husband was (besides everything else about his bio that told me he was the right one) because he offered to give me a lesson in the Tango.
Dance, when it's done as a couple is also incredibly romantic. There is nothing like the connection of standing close, looking into each other's eyes and moving together.
It's also a great way to break the ice. "Want to dance?" is a low commitment way of getting to know somebody. You can share one dance and then move onto another partner, or you can find out that you're compatible and spend the night talking.
When you allow someone to buy you a drink, you're allowing them to buy your time. At least as long as while you're drinking it. Possibly (in their minds) for the entire night. Yep, some people have the mixed up idea that by accepting a drink, you are now obligated to them. Accepting a dance, however, is a commitment that lasts for no longer than the time it takes for the song to end.
If you meet someone who attracts you, don't be afraid to strike up a conversation with them. If you enjoy their company, whether you're male or female, don't be afraid to ask them out.
For all you know, they're hoping you'll ask.
And what's the worst that could happen? They'll say no?
Fine then. They weren't right for you. Stay friendly if you've discovered a friendship. And move on to the next person who interests you.
Be Prepared to Kiss Some Frogs
When I started to empower the Ultimate Love Spell and Affirmation in my life (which I'll give you in the next of this series), I did have to kiss some croakers. I found one relationship that helped give me the wake-up call to leave my long-broken relationship, but didn't last much longer than that. I got out and met some guys. Some I became friends with but there wasn't anything romantic going on. Some I didn't want to have anything to do with after the first date.
I dated one guy for almost a year. I knew he wasn't the right one from the first moment he kissed me. I also knew he had something to teach me. And I was right about that. Despite the fact that he wasn't the person I was intended to spend my life with, that relationship forced me to grow as a woman, a priestess and a human being.
So be aware that the first relationship you get involved in if you use that affirmation might not be "the one."
Just know that the Universe will lead you to the right person if you allow it.
Other Articles in this Series
This tested Affirmation and Spell will help the Universe bring love in your direction. You don't even have to cast a spell unless you want to, as the affirmation is strong enough to work on its own.
A look at how your actions and the Universe's wisdom may be delaying you from the relationship you desire.
Pink Candle by Lionrhod
Via Wikimedia Commons by Creative Commons Share Alike:
Tango Jonathan Lewis
Via Flickr by Creative Commons Share Alike:
Heart Irina Patrascu
Cat at Window Alisha Vargas
Balloons Ian D Keating
© 2014 Lionrhod
What other actions can you take to find love?
Lionrhod (author) from Orlando, FL on November 01, 2014:
Exactly! Why go where we're not finding folks who share our interests? Where we're not compatible with the crowd that frequents that place? And it's funny - when you go places that meet the needs of a few of your interests they often turn out to fill many more. When I met my husband, all I knew about him was that he was a goth, a fellow metaphysician, a dancer and a cat lover. Imagine my joy in finding out (even a while after we got together) that he's also a fellow foodie, and that he too dreamed of starting a farm/ranch. Our political views are exactly in line and we both have a strong belief in service to humanity/the community. Check out the love spell/affirmation - it WORKS! Are there areas we don't mesh? Sure. That's allowed. He likes to watch super hero comics and movies. I prefer costume dramas and suspense/mystery. We're both highly compatible when it comes to family-type movies, like Dolphin Tales, which we both watched together, and (rare in some guys) he even likes watching romantic "girly" movies with me. Funny how it happens.
Glenn Stok from Long Island, NY on November 01, 2014:
You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that one should go out and do things that they are interested in. So many single people think they are going to meet the love of their life by going out to the wrong places. Why go to dances if you don't dance. Why go to bars if you're not really into that. So the thing you brought to my attention is that we need to find venues that relate to our interests, and then we may find the right one.
Lionrhod (author) from Orlando, FL on October 30, 2014:
Thank you Phyllis. Starting a poetry gathering sounds like a great idea. You might check if there's a coffee house, restaurant or tavern that has a slow night they'd like to have busier. Another place we use for meetings is the coffee shop inside our local Barnes & Noble.
Phyllis Doyle Burns from High desert of Nevada. on October 29, 2014:
Hi Lionrhod. You have some very good suggestions for finding the right person to love. Since I moved to my current location, I have wanted to find a place where poets gather and read their poetry. There is no such place here. If I had a bigger apartment I would think about starting a poet's night here. I migrate to men who are good poets and writers.
I enjoyed reading your hub - it is interesting and well-written. Voted U,I and H+
Lionrhod (author) from Orlando, FL on October 10, 2014:
Ooh! Motorcycles! I like you! I used to have a 1962 45" HD police trike (I made it a freezer box and sold ice cream at Daytona.) I also had a fully restored 1956 HD 45" which the ex suddenly decided was his now that we'd built it. Anyway yes, get out there and ride, there's nothing like the feeling of the wind in your hair (and bugs in your teeth *g*) Getting involved in rides and charity runs is a great idea because you're doing good for the world while having a great time.
sheilamyers on October 10, 2014:
Thanks for the tips. I've tried some of the dating sites, but so far none of them have produced any results. I'm hoping the tip about going where you have fun works. I finally got my motorcycle all fixed up and ready to ride next spring and I'm hoping to be able to do some charity runs and that type of thing. Maybe Mr Right will be among the crowd.
Lionrhod (author) from Orlando, FL on October 10, 2014:
TY Lorelei. Yeah, it's important to know that the first one might not be the best one.
Lorelei Cohen from Canada on October 10, 2014:
Love this especially the advice that you will probably have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince. Oh so very accurate lol.
Lionrhod (author) from Orlando, FL on October 10, 2014:
Dashingscorpio, Thank you much for your awesome input. I actually address #2 in my Ultimate Love Spell page which is part of this series. Meetup is a great recommendation.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on October 10, 2014:
Voted up and useful!
So many people have bought into the "Hollywood" and Novel myths about (bumping) into someone and falling in love. One of the worse statements I've heard women say is: "I'm waiting on God to send me a husband."
Even a lottery winner has to buy a ticket!
No one would ever say "I'm waiting on God to send me a job." or "I'm waiting on God to pay my bills, put food in my house, and put gas in my car." God has already made 7 Billion people! It's a little unrealistic to expect him to FedEx a husband to their doorstep!
With regard to your question concerning other actions to find love I always tell people the following.
1. Become a "me" expert
You have to figure out (who you are and what you want/need) in a mate BEFORE you pursue having a relationship. To do otherwise would be the equivalent of going shopping without a list!
People who don't know themselves and what it is they want in a mate tend to allow "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate their relationship choices.
2. Create your ideal profile for a mate
You can be as granular as you wish to be. Does he/she live in the city or the suburbs, shop for groceries at large chain store or health food store, work out at a gym, follow any particular sport, goes dancing, buys clothes from stores in the mall such as Macy's or from Wal-Mart,....etc
Most people have no problem making "lists" or "must have" traits they want in others. This step involves imagining that you were "this person". Being him or her; "Would you want you?" If the answer is (no) then you need to go about cultivating the traits you believe your ideal mate would be attracted to. So many people are asking for the moon but have nothing to offer in return.
"Don't expect to sit next to the moon unless you are a star!"
3. Be there!
In order to meet people you have to get out of the house and run in the same circles as your "ideal mate" does. No one is going to magically show up at your door! If you've been detailed about creating your profile you have some ideas of where your type of mate would congregate socially or during times of leisure and relaxation.
When considering online dating it pays to do some research. Not all sites are equal and if you stated there is a specific "must have" on your list you may want to consider one of the many niche dating sites that are specifically geared towards whatever your must is; race, religion, age, sexual orientation, political affiliation, single parents, and so on. There's even a site for horseback riders! Whatever is essential to you there is probably dating site for it. Lastly not to be overlooked is Meetup.com which isn't a dating site. It's a site where thousands of groups who have hobbies and various interests in common get together for monthly meetings. They have some of everything from wine tasting, book clubs, yoga/meditation, salsa dancing, theatre goers, and singles mixers.
Proactive people usually have more rewarding love lives than those who stay at home relying on hope and prayer.