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Soaring

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The author is a mom to two faithful dogs and three teenagers. Writing affords her an excuse to delve into memories and imagination and share

Ignorance was bliss, before soaring in love's mighty light. I emerged from my cocoon, a regal butterfly with colors and shine I never knew. You knelt on the outside, encouraging my strength. My heart was too heavy to let me escape. You smiled, touched my face and told me my heart would be safe in your hands. There was a gentle ease in the way you took it. As if it were meant to be held by you. I felt lighter. Stronger. I pushed further out, slowly opening my wings. I remember your smile, the loving encouragement. I gasped in surprise at their beauty and power. The sun's rays dried and strengthened them. You gently embraced me, lifting me to bask in the sun. Safe in your hands, I felt regal and sure. You gazed upon me with awe and joy as I gained my strength. You celebrated my emergence. Sparkling bits of life's magic rained on us, tickling our skin as they brightened our world. I stretched my wings, feeling the wind's powerful lift as I glistened in love's mighty rays. I learned to soar, inhaling deep breaths of bliss...surprised by its ever-changing feel. Cool and crisp one moment. Warm with teases of heat the next. I soaked up the magnificence that gleamed with you. Indescribable magic shared by only us two.

I turned to go back, to sail to into your arms. To feel the enchantment only you and I held. I banked towards the cliff from which I'd courageously soared, searching for you with excitement and strength. No sight of eyes sparkling with me in their reflection. No gentle, mighty hands cradling my heart. I soar to our spot, not seeing you there. I smile to myself, thinking you're hiding. I know how you play and love teasing me. Touching back down on earth I smile with glee. I'll find your secret place and bask in the joy. I look down the path, shocked by what I see. The heart I'd entrusted was shattered in pieces. It trailed like crushed ruby with your footprints in the sand. I follow the trail, a note fluttering in the breeze...held by a piece of my heart...a disorienting flash in the sun's blinding glare. Like a harsh and sharp paperweight, mocking as I stared. It scorched when I touched it, sizzling under my tears. Your familiar handwriting yielded just a few words: "The only truth I have ever known is in your arms. I'm sorry." I run to gather rubies, burning hot from the sun, singeing my hands as I gather them. In my haste to gather my abandoned heart I stumble, landing hard, sand sticking to the tears on my face. Looking to discover what I tripped on I see the tip of my wing. What once held such magic now bewitched and possessed. It was tattered and torn, false colors were faded. It had all been a hex. I fight to get up, to stand and move on, only to discover these new wings are heavy and cumbersome.

I think back to my life, before I had wings. Tucked in my safe cocoon with no need to for warm light. Now that I've stretched and felt the magic of life, that once showered on me with you by my side, I don't know what to do with these horrible wings. There's no more cocoon, no happy place. I'll have to be strong, and carry them. I hate them. I'll keep them in hopes that some day I may fly. Now that I've soared and basked in that joy I cannot stuff myself back in the prison of a cocoon. I'll forever seek magic. The drug for my soul. The small taste I had only teased my soul. It's hard to believe I'll ever fly again. Nothing will ever compare to that first leap, but I'll tuck in my wings and keep them safe for the future. Maybe some day I can fix the tear. If my day arises with new will to soar I'll stretch them out wide. Rediscovering their glory, I'll leap and then glide. Leaning into the dive I'll flip and fly. Fear of the crash won't ruin my ride. It may never happen. No spellbinding flight. Perhaps I'll be grateful that on one day I was privileged to fly.

Coping with a break up.

The loss of a relationship can be devastating. Finding support from others who have mourned a similar loss can be a challenge. It can be difficult to find the words to express your loss and give the the depth of your pain justice. When reeling from a loss the last thing you want to hear is that it will get better. It takes time to pay homage to that loss. Sometimes we just need to wallow in our misery before picking ourselves up and moving on. It's OK! Deal with it the way you find helpful.

Can you relate?

soaring

© 2011 L-Crist

Comments

Bella Nina from USA on December 05, 2011:

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It's never too "out there" when it's straight from your heart. Never censor that. Just write. Beautiful expression of emotion, and you're brave to write this and share it with the world.

L-Crist (author) from Arizona on November 28, 2011:

Mamadrama, that means the world coming from you! Thanks, sweetie. I didn't know if it was too "out there." I wrote it as I do nearly everything-one sitting, just sort of stream of consciousness.

Mamadrama from Upstate NY on November 28, 2011:

WOW, AND WOW! Beautiful, I felt your emotion from start to finish. I have been there, I have felt this. Amazing great job! Up and beautiful! Keep going!

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