Rosita is a content writer who specializes in relationships.
Let me ask you some questions. What would you feel if you have a lover who is closer to another person than you? What would you feel if your boyfriend or girlfriend spills his or her secret to his or her best friend and not you? What would you feel if you see your ex-lover, whom you haven’t completely gotten over with, in the company of another person? Yes, these things could bring the green-eyed monster out of our system especially if it involves the people whom we love and care for. There are things that simply withdraw your jealousy out of nowhere, and that includes love.
Jealousy is a sin, so as they say, but sometimes, it could be caused by longing, deep affection, and concern. It just depends upon the person’s hidden motive and reason.
Of course, no one would want to be caught dead being jealous for the reason that it is just plain embarrassing. Plus, it hurts one’s ego. Nevertheless, there are ways to express your jealousy without anyone noticing. If you are to be jealous, then do it with class and suave. And no, that does not include using your best friend to make someone jealous. Trust me, that situation is very hard to fix once started. Here are some other ways to unleash that envy without you looking all desperate and competitive.
1. Silent treatment. This really works especially if you’re not normally silent. When you are jealous of your lover’s officemate, whom he or she went out for snacks with, you don’t rush in and grab the hair or punch the hell out of the third party. Only desperate people do that. Silent treatment will have your partner wondering what’s happening to you or what is it that made you upset. It will open up to a conversation wherein you profess your inhibitions and jealousy issues. However, there is a caveat when it comes to using this method. It should not be used for a long period of time. Still, communication is the key to a lasting relationship.
2. Pamper yourself. Who would want to be seen haggard and gaunt? Love is a battlefield. If you are ready to fight for the person that you love, you’ve got to fight well. You’ve got to polish your armour and sharpen your sword. I am talking about how you treat yourself. One should be the best person that he or she can be in order to show the other person what he or she is missing. They do say that your face is the best weapon that you can use. Instead of focusing on the enemy, why not focus on yourself instead? That way, your partner will wonder why you are in such a glow all of a sudden. That will keep his or her attention directly on you rather than on someone else.
3. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. This is a clichéd technique but still works in the field of love. This is the poetic equivalent of “stalk the enemy”. It could even serve the purpose of simple research. Befriending the person that you’re jealous with is a way to know more about him or her. Doing so might lead to finding out the reasons why you envy him or her and focus on the things that you do have that he or she doesn’t. Plus, who knows you might just want to end up being his or her friend after all and finally bring an end to that envy issues?
4. Smile a lot. They say that a smile tells a hundred words. It’s a good thing that a smile also hides hundreds of emotions. It is the perfect facade to all the sleuthing and stalking that you are planning in your head but it is also perfectly sends the message that you are not really jealous and you don’t really care. Smiling will give the impression that you are too busy to be jealous and that you’re in control of your emotions. Also, smiling will give you extra benefits like keeping those wrinkles away and relaxing your face muscles. Smiling a lot also deviates from the usual smiling capacity of a normal person, if you know what I mean. It will keep the people around you in thinking why you are so happy and alive.
5. Achieve something. Well, no one gets noticed simply by nailing the art of stalking and finding out every bit of information about your crush or lover. It would be better if you make your name a bit famous. If you are a 16 year old girl, you could try saving a dog from the dog pound or helping an old lady in crossing the street. If you are a corporate woman, then you can work a bit harder to bag that promotion that you were dreaming of. That way, you can have something that you can be proud of.
6. Reverse psychology with a touch of humour. There are times that some people are too naïve or too emotionless to feel and understand the message that “yes, you are indeed jealous and no, you do not do these things out of the blue”. Sometimes, you just got to say it directly to their faces, but of course, not directly as in straight to the point. Puns are the best form of artillery in this kind of situations. We all heard those jokes that are not really jokes and seem to convey a different intention instead of making someone laugh. Well, these are your last resort in order to tell your partner, lover or your ‘i-haven’t-completely-gotten-over-him’ ex that you are jealous. A lot of people say, based from their experience, that reverse psychology works all the time. You can even say things like, “Hey, I heard Jennifer Aniston was jealous of Angelina. But I, a powerful woman, would never be jealous like her,” or maybe like, “Babe, a lot of girls dig me. I’m gold in a pack of coals. But of course, you’re not jealous right?”
The reason why we’re jealous is that we cannot have everything that we want all the time and because we are all asking for someone’s time, attention, care and love. It is okay to be jealous sometimes and in an understandable level but, do so because you care for and love a person, not because you just want to play a selfish brat. Remember that jealousy is still a sin and that it could harm your relationship as well as other people’s relationship. It is good to unleash that green eyed monster once in a while to let your lover or partner know that you do care but loosening you grip on that monster a little bit much could be deadly.
Esther on November 23, 2019:
In my case I have not told him yet that I love and I'm jealous whenever he goes close to my best friend how can I stop being jealous should I tell him that I love him
Mona Sabalones Gonzalez from Philippines on June 06, 2014:
I think you give useful advice here, especially the part about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer; and learning to achieve something for yourself. Jealousy can eat you up so you need to not dwell on it and behave well. But a little craftiness can be nifty.