I've been through too many failed relationships and finally found the one. I enjoy writing about relationships and spiritual connection.
Reasons To End A Relationship
Why do we enter relationships? The underlying reasons are happiness and contentment. Finding your soulmate and experiencing that click and spark is euphoric. Entering into a relationship with them is exciting. Staying in love and maintaining the connection is work – work that not all the time is worth it.
We are all for the first two stages, but things can get difficult or complicated during the last and supposedly lasting period of a relationship.
The following are reasons that are socially considered to be valid when it comes to ending a relationship:
White lies when trying to hide a birthday or anniversary surprise is fine. But if you catch your partner making a habit out of fibbing, then that is a warning sign that something isn’t right.
If he or she is comfortable with lying about the small stuff, then those will grow in size and gravity. Honesty is tantamount in any relationship because it breeds trust, communication and safety.
2. Financially irresponsible
Let’s face it, being in a relationship is a #adulting decision. And money is a significant pillar or cause for issues and problems in a relationship. Money issues or anything relating to money is one of the top killers of a relationship.
Whether you are with someone who does not know how to budget or treats money like they grow on trees, being wise with cash is a good quality foundation to a lasting and stable relationship.
If you aren’t the one that’s good with money, then your partner can take up that role; what’s important is you both reach a certain system that functions well when it comes to finances.
If you find yourself often arguing about money-related matters in the relationship, then consider it a sign that your views and approaches do not coincide.
3. Trust is missing
Trust is another foundation of a relationship. It is hard to build yet oh-so-easy to break. When someone breaks your trust, it won’t be easy nor the same the second time around. However, you love your partner and of course you will give them a clean slate.
The problem with someone repeatedly breaking your trust is you never being able to fully see them as the person you fell in love with. They become someone else in your eyes, a stranger. Why would someone who says they love purposefully do something to break your trust?
The whys, doubts, and second-guessing will make you consider other options such as ending the relationship because you don’t see yourself gaining that trust back.
4. Differences in goals
This reason is an extra tough one because it’s technically not a problem to begin with. Your partner might want to build up his or her career while you want to settle down and have kids. Your partner might want to take a business opportunity but means having to relocate and you aren’t ready for that.
Reasons such as those above may not look like obstacles now but remember that there will be someone who will sacrifice and compromise. When there seems to be no workaround for the situation, then you shouldn’t settle for someone who is set on achieving his or dreams without trying to line up their vision with yours.
5. Selfish in bed
When it’s all about them in bed, you will never be satisfied in the relationship. This reason may reveal itself early on in the relationship because it is a habit that someone has and is rather hard to hide.
A relationship stays hot and alive through sex, and if you aren’t getting your needs satiated, then it is a one-sided relationship that will not last. Just as much as you want to make your partner happy, he or she must do the same for you.
6. Lack of communication
Yet another cornerstone in any relationship, communication is key in keeping a relationship happy and healthy. Whether you are angry, ecstatic, anxious or scared, communicate.
Guys are typically known to fall short when it comes to communication while girls are known to talk too much. When you find someone who balances you out, he or she is a keeper. Try to find a way for you and your partner to communicate, not just through words, and to always make a connection.
Communication is all about making a soul connection with your loved one and keeping that connection strong. Do take note that to express oneself takes effort and it is a sign that you care about someone. If there is no effort being exerted to communicate, goes to show just how much you mean to your partner.
7. Too many fights
Any relationship will have problems. You’re pissed at how your partner is moody or they hate your lack of interest with their hobbies. Those are completely normal and you may find yourself raising your voice to your partner in a heated argument.
Fighting and fighting well is a good sign at a relationship’s stability and health. The key is to never stay angry at one another. However, if you find yourself always fighting and bickering about the same issues that never get resolved, then you will lose the energy to stay in love with your partner.
This reason is a big one and something that should never be disregarded. If your partner physically or mentally abuses you, end the relationship then and there and leave.
If your partner makes you lose your identity to the point that you become a completely different person that you don’t recognize, then he or she isn’t someone who brings out the best in you, which is what a healthy relationship should be.
If your partner plays mental games with you and you end up always apologizing even for mistakes you didn’t make, end the relationship.
When To End A Relationship With Someone You Love
While we already covered the top reasons when to end a relationship earlier, we will dive into more detail with particular scenarios. The first is ending a relationship with someone you still love.
Remember the famous saying, “If you love someone, you need to let them go?” Well, in this case, you need to let go because you need to for yourself. You may still be head over heels for your partner, but he or she is abusive, often lies, or does not include you in their daily life and communicates. Do you see yourself staying in this situation for a few more years?
After some contemplation and you do not like your future self, then it is time to let go.
When To End A Relationship With A Married Man
A difficult situation that has no right or wrong course of action although the act itself is politically wrong.
First and foremost, why engage in a relationship with someone who is already taken? Yet we cannot control whom our hearts fall for. If you find yourself in this situation, the harsh truth is that it will more often than not, not end in your favor.
He’s taken, and if he has kids, it becomes an even more complicated situation. Think about how you may be destroying a family. Yes, he might say that he plans to leave his family for you. If and when he does, agree, and tell him that you will wait until he does (if he ever does). In the meantime, heal and spend some time making yourself even more amazing.
When To End A Relationship With A Man Who Doesn't Love You
Similar to the first scenario, ending a relationship with someone that you might be in love with but is not reciprocating can happen at any moment you deem fit.
Give him or her a definite number of chances or tell yourself when it will be the last straw. Because in the end, you are someone who deserves to be with someone who sees you as their world.
How To End A Relationship
5 Steps To End A Relationship
- The first step is to be sure about your decision. Being someone who breaks up with their partner only to be back together the following week is not a healthy habit.
- Wait a few days or when your head is clearer and some time had passed since that emotional moment when you decided to end things. This will help you make level-headed decisions.
- Try not to do it via chat or text. Face to face is recommended so that there is better closure for both you and your partner.
- Choose the time and place wisely and avoid doing it as a spur of the moment.
- Lastly, establish boundaries moving forward such as no communication and not being friends right away. You can eventually try to be friends in the future but not when you just ended the relationship.
- Be honest but not bitter and cruel.
- Prepare yourself for bad reactions from your partner.
- It is time to walk away and move on.
- Ample self-love, support from family and friends would be very helpful
How To End A Relationship With A Child Involved
While breaking up with a child involved usually entails the steps mentioned above, the crucial difference is making sure the children are aware. It will be difficult for them to understand what is happening and explaining in a simple yet clear manner is best.
Don’t forget to ask them about their questions or concerns with your decision and answer as honestly as possible.
Lastly, reassure them that in no way or form was the break up their fault.
It’s all about happiness, really. You should never feel the need to look for one specific reason to justify your reason for wanting a breakup. If you’re not happy anymore and feel like you will never be should you choose to stay in the relationship, then it would be better to end it.
It is tough, and it takes time to heal and move on. But the beauty of time is it passes. You will come out of this experience stronger, wiser and happier.
Muriel B Tewes (author) on September 16, 2019:
Totally agree! Sadly you are the rare few. It takes two hands to clap to work things on and if no open communications can be done, it is better to move on by taking action.
It sounds easy to take action but it's is a painful and hard process to let go of what's familiar and to venture to a new space.
david from kansas on September 15, 2019:
i believe in the ability of understanding and commitment as long as you are in love you know deep down the responsibilities that coms with it the sacrifice and many more most people mistake like for love
Muriel B Tewes (author) on September 14, 2019:
Thank you so much for your wise words and quotes.
To add on, it takes lots of courage and support to get out from a "cellmate" to find a "soulmate".
Don't suffer silently on your own. The journey may be rough but there are support, be it in family, friends or (online) communities.
With encouragement, you can walk out of the situation!
dashingscorpio from Chicago on September 13, 2019:
If you're unhappy in the relationship/marriage.. move on!
The goal is to find a "soulmate" not a "cellmate".
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.
The choice is up to us. No one is "stuck" with anyone.
Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine!
Suffering is optional.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
"How do you know when it's over? Maybe when you are more in love with your memories than the person standing in front of you."
- Gunnar Adelius