Amber is a writer with a diverse amount of knowledge and experience on various topics, including budgeting, parenting, and many more!
There's nothing worse than lying awake at night as you wonder whether your partner has been with another person. Your stomach cramps, making you feel sick. You can't stop thinking about it. More than anything, you simultaneously just want to know the truth yet are scared to find out that very same truth.
I've been there before. In the exact same situation, actually. Sometimes, he was cheating. Other times he wasn't. Forget about the thought of hiring a private investigator. Instead, all you have to do is keep an eye out for these signs of infidelity.
It is important to note that different people tend to deal with things differently. For example, one sign of cheating is that a partner seems distant. However, your partner might be worried about their job and not communicate their every thought or feeling with you. Because of that, keep an eye out for more than one sign of infidelity to make sure.
1. Multiple Social Media Accounts
A person having more than one social media account is actually common. Your partner might have one for business networking and another one for personal use. However, if your partner has more than one account and you aren't invited to participate in one of them or he refuses to disclose his relationship status on one, that's a sign of infidelity. He doesn't want other people he's talking with to know that he's in a committed relationship.
2. Deleting the Browser History
Why would someone feel the need to hide everything they do on the internet if they're not doing anything wrong? This is especially common if one of you considers watching adult content to be cheating, but the person that enjoys watching adult movies sees nothing wrong with it. They may also want to hide what social media they are using if they are using a particular platform, like Facebook, to cheat.
3. No Sexual Appetite
It's normal for couples to go through a dry spell at times. However, this is also one of the classic signs of cheating. Your partner might not be in the mood because someone else is already fulfilling that need for them.
4. They Don't Stay in a Long Term Relationship
When someone isn't accustomed to being in a long term relationship, it can be difficult for them to stay in one. If that same person keeps losing interest and cheating, and you know that this happened with previous partners, it's a huge red flag.
5. Separate Bank Accounts
When two people share their life with one another, it makes sense that they have a joint bank account. However, a person that is cheating will insist on keeping all of their finances separate. That's because they don't want the other person in a relationship to see them spending money on their side piece.
6. Their Cell Phone is Off Limits
If you can't touch your partner's phone without them diving across the room to take it from you, that's a red flag. While everyone should respect each other's privacy, this is definitely suspicious behavior.
It's also common for your partner to simply turn away so that you can't see what they are doing on their phone.
7. Buying Guilt Gifts
Sometimes, when one person cheats, they are riddled with feelings of guilt for their infidelity. Instead of being honest or trying to work through the problems, they try to simply make themselves feel better. One way that a cheating partner may do this is by purchasing lots of gifts for you.
8. They Haven't Deleted the Dating App
When two people meet on a dating app, it makes sense that you both delete it once you are in a committed relationship. However, that doesn't always happen. If your partner refuses to delete the app, and still logs into it, that's a subtle sign of cheating.
9. History of Cheating
People can, and sometimes do change. On the other hand, if they cheated in every single relationship that they have been in, that's something you should keep an eye out for in your current relationship.
10. Closed Body Language
Closed off body language indicates that a person isn't willing to be open with you. The things that they do are a part of their natural defense mechanisms, and they often do them subconsciously. Examples of closed language include sitting with the arms crossed and the legs closed.
11. Someone Constantly Needs Help
She calls him constantly for "help", whether it's because she keeps getting flat tires or her sink is stopped up. It could be that they are using it as an excuse to have some fun. In this case, the affair partner is trying to help them cover their tracks.
12. You Don't Talk Anymore
There are several emotional signs of cheating, and this is one of the major ones to watch out for. When your partner stops talking to you about their day, their life, or anything, it's a sign that there is a problem in your relationship. They could also be talking about those things with someone else.
13. They Don't Put Money in Joint Accounts
It's as though they stopped trying to save money or pay bills with you. This could be because of a valid reason. It could also be because your relationship is over and you don't know it yet. If you notice shady behavior when it comes to your joint accounts, it's time for a serious conversation.
14. Having an Additional Phone
If your partner has two phones, it's reasonable to inquire as to what they need the second phone for. Having one for business is understandable. However, having one for some reason that they refuse to explain is shady behavior.
15. Suddenly Unresponsive
Your partner used to respond to all of your texts and always answer the phone. Now, they suddenly get back to you hours later, if they do at all. This shady behavior could be explained by them forgetting their phone once or twice. If it's happening often and doesn't change, that's a sign that they have an affair partner they aren't telling you about.
When a person lies about seemingly everything, that's a bad sign. It shows a lot about them as a person. A person with this type of character is more likely to cheat than an honest person. They're also more likely to hide it from you or not feel guilty about cheating.
17. False Accusations of Cheating
Sometimes, they say that the best defense is a good offense. Your partner has suddenly and irrationally claimed that you're the one cheating. There seems to be no valid reason. You know that you're not cheating. They don't seem to stop with the false accusations, though. This is a huge sign that they are cheating.
18. They Keep Mentioning a New Friend
You've noticed that their behavior has changed drastically, and they don't stop dropping the name of a new friend. This new friend is of the opposite sex, and they're always talking about them. It's a sure-fire sign of cheating, or that they are infatuated with them.
19. Lying About Where They Are
He says that he's at his friend's house watching the game, but has no idea what happened in the game. She says that she's over at her friend's house, but her friend just stopped by. When a person feels the need to lie about what they are doing, something is going on behind your back.
20. Paying Attention to Their Appearance More
This is often more noticeable in men, but women tend to do this too. When they have a new interest, they start to clean up really well. They make sure that all of their outfits are flawless, wear perfume or cologne, and seem to be a new person.
21. They're Happier
When a person first falls in love with someone, it releases a plethora of feel good hormones and chemicals in the brain. This will make a person so happy that they are glowing. If nothing has changed with other aspects of life, there's a reason that they suddenly have a glow in their face and an extra bounce in their step.
22. Their Routine Changed
I'm a stickler for routines. I prefer them in my daily life. Most other people have their own routines as well. If you notice that your partner suddenly changed their routine or doesn't seem to have one as well as other signs of cheating, that's a red flag.
23. No More Shared Media Accounts
This one is so obvious that most people don't do it, but there is an occasional partner that will try it. The two of you used to share social media accounts, but they have suddenly decided to have their own, and you're not getting the password to it.
24. The Passion Is Gone
If the two of you are still getting busy in the bedroom, you can't help but notice that the passion is gone. Everything seems mundane and boring. They don't look at you or even kiss you like they used to. This could be because something else, such as work, is stressing them out. It could also be because they are cheating.
25. Weird Credit Card Charges
Instead of lunch for one, the charge is so expensive you know that it was a lunch for two. Random charges from stores that your partner doesn't usually shop at pop up. When questioned, they assure you not to call the fraud department. This could be them spending money on their affair partner.
26. They've Cheated in the Past
If your partner cheated in the past, and you forgave them, they're more likely to cheat again. It's because they think that you will simply forgive them again and move on.
27. Liking Different Things Suddenly
They used to hate watching sports, and now they love it. Country music used to be horrible, and now it's all that they listen to. Their sudden change of taste might be due to a certain person suddenly being more involved in their life.
28. You're Kindness is Rejected
If you think your partner is merely stressed, it's normal to want to do nice things for them. Whereas they used to appreciate these nice things, now they reject them. They don't appreciate compliments and refuse to accept gifts or gestures. It almost seems like every time you do something thoughtful, it turns into an argument. That's because you being so nice to them makes them feel worse about their cheating thoughts or acts.
29. They're Indifferent
The two of you used to fight with each other, or at least have a healthy debate about what to watch on television. Now, your partner never speaks up. They say that they don't care. More than anything, they are completely indifferent. This sudden change in behavior could be because they have already mentally checked out of the relationship or their mind is on someone else.
30. Signs of Protected Sex
Your wife never bothered with contraceptives before, but now she's on the pill. Your husband suddenly has condoms stashed away. This is one of the obvious signs that your partner is cheating on you.
31. They Never Really Deny It
When you ask your partner if they are cheating, they don't admit to it, but they don't deny it either. Instead, they say that you're crazy or find some other way to gaslight you. They seem to talk their way out of that topic all together. One way or another, they avoid admitting to it or telling you that they aren't doing it. They already feel guilty about cheating, and don't want to feel worse because they lied about it.
32. They Suddenly Forget Everything
For ten years, your partner has remembered everything. They know your birthday, and never forget an anniversary present. Now, you're on the receiving end of an apology and a gift card to a store you don't even like. When a partner has mentally checked out of a relationship, they'll be more forgetful and stop putting thought into things.
33. No Longer Talking to Your Family and Friends
Your partner used to love getting together with your social circle or heading to a family gathering. Now, they just want to stay home and rarely socialize when people come over. It's because they are emotionally moving on from the relationship, and that includes the relationship with people that you are close to. They know that they won't be around after you two break up, so it's best for them to distance themselves now.
34. Simple Errands Take Forever
Granted, some things will take longer. If your wife is a couponing queen, it's going to take a while for her to go grocery shopping. If your husband gets distracted easily, he's going to take a while to run to the store. However, if this happens frequently with no explanation, it could be because they were with someone else.
35. No More Talk About the Future
Men and women alike talk about the future when they see a future with someone. If your partner suddenly doesn't want to plan a future vacation together, it could be because they don't see a future with you. This doesn't just apply to vacations, it applies to everything regarding the future, whether it's a house, bank account, finances, or a romantic weekend away.
36. Smelling Like Someone Else
The only way for a man or woman to smell distinctly like someone of the opposite sex is if they were cuddling up next to them. This is a definite sign that they are cheating on you.
37. They Refer to Themselves More
When a person starts to mentally check out of a relationship, they tend to think in terms of themself instead of thinking of both people in the relationship. Instead of saying that we should go out for dinner, they will use the word "I". For example, saying "I want to go out for dinner." It's because they are thinking less and less of the other person in the relationship.
38. Dissatisfied With the Relationship
If your partner doesn't feel appreciated or even liked in the relationship, they may start to spend more time with people that make them feel appreciated and wanted. That can quickly turn into them wondering what life would be like with someone else.
39. Your Gut Tells You
If your gut is telling you that something is wrong, there's a good chance that something is wrong. Often, we tend to listen to our gut and want to find evidence. However, there's usually no need for evidence. It simply confirms what our hearts already know. If your intuition tells you that your partner is cheating, they probably are.
40. New Bedroom Skills
Your partner suddenly knows a lot of things that they didn't before. This could be them watching adult movies or talking to friends, but it could also be because they learned it from someone else. If you notice this red flag with several other ones, the chances are pretty high that your partner has a side piece.
Thinking that your partner is cheating can be agonizing, and you're bound to be determined to find out if they are seeing someone else. These are the most common signs that your partner is cheating. If you notice most of these, it's time to have a talk with your partner.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2022 Amber Lynn