Sadie loves to help others get through the ups and downs of relationships.
Ending a Long-Term Relationship
You put a lot of effort, care, and time into a long-term relationship. So, it’s really hard to end it even when you might be pretty sure it’s time.
Ending a long relationship can either be a fresh start or a missed opportunity. If you end it when you should, you have the opportunity to move on and find someone who is right for you. However, if you end it before you should, you might be missing out on something that can grow and last forever.
We’ve put together a list of the important signs that your relationship isn’t going to last so that you are able to evaluate and get out if you need to. Remember to do what’s best for you and your future even if it’s the harder thing to do.
What is Considered a Long-Term Relationship
Before we dive in, let’s talk about how long a relationship is before we are considering it to be long-term. A relationship is considered to be long-term if it has lasted for 6 months.
Why 6 months? Because we think that after 6 months of being together, you are invested in the relationship. This is where it starts to get more serious and you may be planning things together and making commitments.
From this point, you are taking into account the time you have spent building this relationship and evaluating if it should go on.
5 Signs You Should End Your Long Time Relationship
1. You don’t see a future together.
If you have no future together, there is no practical reason for staying in your relationship any longer. You are free to stay, but what is the point? When you are in a relationship with someone who is working toward a different future than you are, all you will do is hold each other back from your goals.
A clear sign that you aren’t working toward a future together is that you want different things. We’re talking about important things like wanting kids, settling down, or spending your time traveling the world. If you both see yourselves in different places in the next 5-10 years, then you aren’t going down the same path.
2. There Hasn’t Been a Commitment
When you have been together for a long period of time and there is no commitment to the relationship, there is a problem. This usually happens when one person is pushing for a commitment, like getting engaged, moving in together, etc. and the other is shying away.
Life is short and you can’t sit around forever waiting for the other person to commit. We’ve found that most people who won’t commit have other issues surrounding this or just aren’t taking the relationship seriously.
3. You are Unsatisfied With Your Partner
Over a long period of time, you might love your partner more at times than others. This is completely normal. However, we think there is cause for concern when you have been unhappy for a while.
This can stem from a number of different areas in your relationship. There may be things your partner doesn’t do, does too much of, or can’t do that leaves you unsatisfied. If you don’t feel like a relationship is helping to fulfill you, then there isn’t much point in staying.
4. You’ve Grown Apart
There may have been a point when you really loved this person. Sparks flew and they were all you could think about. Now, things have changed and you’ve lost interest in each other.
It’s okay to fall out of love and it can happen. People change over time and sometimes your paths start to go different ways. Two people who were once on the same page can change their directions. This can really hurt because you can still love and deeply care for the other person. In the end, you’ll only be wasting each other’s time if you keep hanging in there with no change.
5. There Are Issues That Can’t Be Resolved
Having issues in your relationship is normal. In fact, working through issues together can make your relationship even stronger. However, when there are issues that just can’t be resolved, it becomes a problem.
This is usually because one person isn’t willing to work on the issue. Or they may have done something, like cheating, that the other person can’t get past. We think it’s definitely worth it to work on your issues and see if you can resolve them. Once you’ve put in the effort and you still can’t get through them, it might be time to hang up the towel.
Ending Your Long-Term Relationship
Does your relationship show one or more of the signs that you should end it? Our list isn’t definitive and there are many different reasons to break up. However, it’s up to you whether or not to call it quits or stay and try to work things out.
After all, you’ve put in time and effort with this person. It can be hard to walk away from a relationship that you’ve put a lot into. Take your time and consider the best course of action for you and your future. If you haven’t discussed your concerns with your partner, we recommend starting there.