Andrea is a dating consultant who gives people advice on relationships and couple stuff. She's also a fan of traveling the world.
Finding Your Soul Mate
We could talk all day long about what is a soul mate. For some it's simply the person they fell in love with and stayed with till death do them part. For others it's a person they were meant to find all along who is the perfect match. Some see it as a person uniquely given to them by the power of the stars.
I can understand why the idea of a soul mate exists. When you really find someone who clicks with you it feels different from all the other people you may have dated. A soul mate has a way of feeling correct, important, and like a new chapter in your life.
A soul mate finishes your sentences, they expect your needs before you realize them, they're someone who cares about you, and this person wants to make sure your life is a happy one.
25 Signs You Found Your Soul Mate
So how do you tell if you have found your soul mate? I'm fairly certain you'll know when it happens. Even if you have some anxieties about it, this person will feel like a good fit overall.
Here are some surefire signs:
- This person gets you on a whole other level but you also get them on a whole other level. Both people feel intrinsically good about the other.
Soul mates connect on a different level. You may feel like time passes in a different way, you both feel like things synch up beautifully. There is something about this match that you've found that has a kind of luck and spark to it. It's not something you take for granted -- and you want to make sure you keep the spark alive. You might suddenly feel more mature than you did in the past.
- Your life with this person naturally gets better. All the dreams you had for yourself as an individual and for a relationship come true. You find more of yourself with your soul mate.
You may have had a long list of things you wanted to do in you life, but you found most of them too challenging to get done all at once. When a proper soul mate steps into your life, these tasks, goals, and dreams actually come into fruition. You actually feel like your life has more meaning and there is a place for your dreams.
- This is someone you can trust and love unconditionally, and it likely will confuse you that such a person exists and fits into your life.
For whatever reason you find it way easier to trust this person to do what's right. It's easier for you to love them too. Maybe you said "I love you" fairly early in the relationship or you knew pretty quickly that you were falling in love.
- You're not afraid to be with this person or show them off in public. You're constantly looking for ways to introduce them to people in your life.
When you like someone, you'll naturally want to show this person to others. Sometimes we might hide a partner because we don't feel ready or at ease with the person. That should be a sign that something is wrong. You should want to show off your partner to your family and others. You should want to take them to public places and go to things that are fun like sports games, ballets, symphonies, musicals, aquariums, museums, and the like.
- The two of you have walked similar paths in your life.
You understand each other because you have similar views, similar experiences, and similar struggles. There is something in the core of the way you two have lived that makes you both feel at ease or at home. Soul mates are not carbon copies of each other, but they do have unique things in common.
- The way the two of you communicate flows together.
Maybe it's your odd choice of vocabulary, the movies you loved and the lines that stick to you, but for whatever reason your conversations have a unique flow. You feel like you can talk about anything. You understand your conversations and enjoy them.
- You have certain physical characteristics in common.
Maybe you're the same height, you have the same eye color, you have the same scar above your knee, you have the same strange mole behind your neck. There is something similar -- but you're not related. Often soul mates have unique physical characteristics in common, as if their bodies are trying to communicate and signal for someone. Maybe those little indicators are proof that soul mates are destiny.
- You do things with this partner that you haven't with any other. You find it's easier to have a relationship.
Maybe in your other relationships you didn't give 100%. But now you feel comfortable enough to give more of yourself. Maybe now you go on dates that fit your style better. This could be the first person you really want on a couple's vacation with.
- You can predict the actions of the other.
You have an idea what they'll say. You have an idea of when they're about to do something. You enjoy watching them and figuring out his or her patterns. It's fun for you to see what decisions he makes. You probably could figure out when a proposal was going to happen.
- You feel a sense of calm around them.
You've never felt so calm in a relationship. Maybe other people made you feel anxious or gave you doubts, but for some reason this person puts you at ease. This person seems to understand you and puts the worries at rest.
- You have dreams about this person, and they're positive. These dreams seem different to you than previous ones.
Often people have dreams about their soul mate. The dreams could be of weddings, a future together, or something happy. Your soul mate might talk to you in your dreams. Keep a dream journal and write down your dreams when you wake up and see if you're subconscious might be giving clues to you about your life.
- You balance each other out.
Maybe one of you is more practical and the other is more abstract. For whatever reason the two of you together makes for an incredibly strong team. You have different strengths and weaknesses, but you can relate to each other despite differences.
- You have less fights and arguments than you did with other partners because you don't have as many misconceptions.
Communication is half the battle, but with this person the conversations flow. You have less fights and arguments because you get each other. You know how to diffuse situations carefully. You know how to make the other person smile and laugh. You can get over the issues quickly because you have good conflict solving skills.
- You share the same life goals.
Maybe you both want to be writers. You both want to save the bee population. Part of why you two are together is because you have those common life goals. This makes it easier for you two to relate to each other. You both are headed toward the same destination.
- You have empathy for them.
You care about them in a way that's unique. You're considerate of the things that have happened in their life. Your empathy doesn't suddenly turn cold. You find it is easier to connect with this person and relate to their needs and wants. You're careful not to hurt your partner's feelings. You think a lot about his or her feelings.
- You respect each other.
You know your partner has his own separate thoughts and beliefs, and it doesn't scare you. You find his thoughts compatible but also unique. You respect boundaries, you respect their belongings, you respect their friends. You make sure the two of you go to bed at a decent hour.
- You can be yourself without fear.
Maybe you've secretly been a dancer all your life but you don't show it to anyone. Now you feel you can be your weird self. You show sides of yourself you never have to anyone else. You're comfortable.
- The both of you work hard for the relationship.
Both of you put in the work and the rituals necessary to keep the relationship alive and healthy. It takes two to tango. You both want the relationship so you both tend to it. A relationship is like a garden. You can't just ignore it.
- You understand each other's emotional language.
You understand what is happening in that person's mind when hitting a wall and you know instinctively how to help them. You get how to interact with the person when he is sad, mad, glad, happy, frustrated, fearful, or insecure.
- You're clearly the biggest fan of each other.
You get excited. You're both good cheerleaders for each other. You do victory dances for each other. You don't get jealous of the other person's success. Instead you celebrate it. You give each other pats on the back. You help the other person so they can make victories in their life.
- You feel each other's pain.
When one of you is hurting, the other is so empathetic that they take on some of the pain. You can't stand to see them hurting. It's hard on you when your partner has to confront loss, like losing a parent. The two of you are there for each other through thick and thin and through sickness and health.
- There is a strong amount of chemistry.
You have a spark that is strong. You have a spark that you feel like you have been searching for all your lives. You might kiss and feel lost in each other's kisses. You can feel the chemistry and you don't want to let it get away.
- You both feel secure in the relationship.
You feel at ease in each other's presence. You feel like you're at home with this person. You can ask any question. You can rely on each other through the good and the bad. You're don't feel easily shaken. It would take a lot for the two of you to doubt each other.
- You just want to be around each other.
You have your own individual lives, you're not co-dependent, but you really, really like each other and want to spend your time with each other. You might not want to go to bed because you're enjoying each other's company. You might not want to get out of the house and do something because you're happy where you are. Isolating with this person doesn't scare you.
- You accept them for who they are and don't try to change them.
You don't try to turn them into a person they're not. You don't try to turn them into an old boyfriend. You don't try to force them into situations that are uncomfortable to them. Again, you respect their thoughts and needs.
Don't Sweat Not Having a Soul Mate
If you haven't found someone you really feel like you connect with, be patient. It's better to really know yourself and be a party of one than try to make it work with someone who isn't really a great match for you.
Sometimes we put too much thought into what is a soul mate. Sometimes it's simply just who works with you and your needs. You don't have to have a soul mate or a great partner to have a great life, so you're not necessarily missing out on anything.
Some people have it written all over their hearts that they want to be with someone, others are content without a partner. So don't get yourself into a twisted pretzel and worried over nothing.
If you think your current relationship isn't as ideal as you want, there could be things the two of you could do to improve that. You may need to invest in each other more and spend more time together. It's also possible you're realizing it just isn't the right relationship and you may need to break up. Don't worry, people have been in your shoes. Whatever your scenario, there are solutions.