Andrea is a dating consultant who gives people advice on relationships and couple stuff. She's also a fan of traveling the world.
Finding Your Soul Mate
We could talk all day long about what is a soul mate. For some, it’s simply the person they fell in love with and stayed with for the rest of their life. For others, it’s a person they were meant to find all along who is the perfect match. Some see it as a person uniquely given to them by the power of the stars or God.
I can understand why the idea of a soul mate exists. When you really find someone who clicks with you, it feels different from all the other people you may have dated. A soul mate has a way of feeling correct, important, and like a new chapter in your life.
A soul mate finishes your sentences, they expect your needs before you realize them, they’re someone who cares about you, and this person wants to make sure your life is a happy one.
25 Signs You Found Your Soul Mate
How do you tell if you have found your soul mate? I’m fairly certain you’ll know when it happens. Even if you have some anxieties about it, this person will feel like a good fit overall.
Here are some surefire signs:
1. This person gets you on a whole other level, but you also get them on a whole other level.
Both people feel intrinsically good about the other. Soul mates connect on a different level. Time passes in a different way — both feel like things synch up beautifully. There is something about this match that you’ve found that has a kind of luck and spark to it. It’s not something you’d take for granted. You might suddenly feel more mature than you did in the past.
2. Life with this person naturally gets better.
All the dreams you had for yourself as an individual and for a relationship come true. You find more of yourself with them. You may have a long list of things you want to do in your life. When a proper soul mate steps into your life, these tasks, goals, and dreams actually come to fruition. You actually feel like your life has more meaning and there is a place for your dreams.
3. This is someone you can trust and love unconditionally.
For whatever reason, it’s easier to trust this person compared to past partners. It’s easier to love them too. Maybe you said “I love you” fairly early in the relationship or you knew pretty quickly that you were falling in love.
4. You’re not afraid to be with this person or show them off in public.
A soul mate constantly looks for ways to introduce their partner to those that are important to them. When you like someone, you’ll want to show them to others.
Sometimes we might hide a partner because we don’t feel ready or at ease with the person. That should be a sign that something is wrong. When in love, a person should want to show off her partner to her family and others. You should want to take them to public places and go to things that are fun like sports games, ballets, symphonies, musicals, aquariums, museums, and the like.
5. The two of you have walked similar paths in your life.
Both people understand each other because they have similar views, experiences, and struggles. There is something in the core of the way the two have lived their lives that makes you both feel at ease or at home.
Soul mates are not carbon copies of each other, but they do have unique things in common.
6. The way the two of you communicate flows together.
They get your odd choice of vocabulary, the movies you love, and the quotes that stick to you. You feel like you can talk about anything. You understand your conversations and enjoy them.
7. You have certain physical characteristics in common.
Maybe you’re the same height, you have the same eye color, you have the same scar above your knee, or you have the same strange mole behind your neck.
Often soul mates have unique physical characteristics in common as if their bodies are trying to communicate and signal for someone.
8. You have many shared activities.
Possibly in your other relationships, you didn’t give 100%. But now you feel comfortable enough to give more of yourself. Maybe now you go on dates that better fit your style. This could be the first person you really want to take on a couple’s vacation.
9. You can predict the actions of the other.
A sixth sense lets you know what they’ll say. You have an idea of when they’re about to do something. You enjoy watching them and figuring out their patterns. You probably could figure out when a proposal was going to happen.
10. You feel a sense of calm around them.
There is a noticeable serenity in the relationship. Other people made you feel anxious or uncertain, but for some reason, this person puts you at ease. This person seems to understand you and puts your worries to rest.
11. You have dreams about this person, and they’re positive.
These dreams seem different than previous ones. Often people have dreams about their soul mate. The dreams could be of weddings, a future together, or something happy.
A soul mate might talk to you in your dreams. Keep a dream journal and write down dreams after waking — see if your subconscious might be giving you clues to your life.
12. You balance each other out.
One of you is more practical and the other is more abstract. For whatever reason, the two of you make an incredibly strong team. You have different strengths and weaknesses, but you can relate to each other despite the differences.
13. You have fewer fights and arguments than you did with other partners.
Communication is half the battle, but with this person, the conversations flow. There are fewer fights and arguments because you get each other. Both people know how to diffuse situations carefully. It’s easy to make the other person smile and laugh. Issues resolve quickly rather than linger.
14. You share the same life goals.
Perhaps you both want to be writers. Part of why you two are great together is because you have common life goals. This makes it easier for you two to relate to each other. You both are headed toward the same destination.
15. You have empathy for them.
It’s natural to care about them. It’s easy to be considerate of the things that have happened in their life. Your empathy doesn’t suddenly turn cold. You find it is easier to connect with this person and relate to their needs and wants.
16. You respect each other.
You know your partner has their own separate thoughts and beliefs, and it doesn’t scare you. You find his thoughts compatible but also unique. Both people respect boundaries, belongings, and the other person’s friends. You make sure the two of you go to bed at a decent hour.
17. You can be yourself without fear.
Imagine that you’ve secretly been a dancer all your life but you don’t reveal this to anyone. With a soul mate, you feel you can express your hidden talents. You show sides of yourself you never have to anyone else. You’re comfortable.
18. The both of you work hard for the relationship.
Both of you put in the work and the rituals necessary to keep the relationship alive and healthy. It takes two to tango. You both want the relationship to work, so you both tend to it. A relationship is like a garden. You can’t just ignore it.
19. You understand each other’s emotional language.
You understand what is happening in that person’s mind when hitting a wall, and you know instinctively how to help them. You get how to interact with the person when she is sad, mad, glad, happy, frustrated, fearful, or insecure.
20. You’re clearly the biggest fan of each other.
Both people are good at celebrating their partner’s accomplishments. Neither gets jealous of the other person’s successes. Pats on the back are frequent.
21. You feel each other’s pain.
When one person is hurting, the other is so empathetic that they take on some of the pain. You can’t stand to see them hurting. It’s hard on you when your partner has to confront loss, like losing a parent. The two of you are there for each other through thick and thin and through sickness and health.
22. There is a strong amount of chemistry.
The spark in the relationship is strong. The two of you might feel like you have been searching for each other your whole lives. You might kiss and feel lost in each other’s kisses. The chemistry is undeniable.
23. You both feel secure in the relationship.
Both people feel at ease in their partner’s presence. You feel like you’re at home with this person. You can ask any question. You can rely on each other through the good and the bad. You don’t feel easily shaken. It would take a lot for the two of you to doubt each other.
24. You just want to be around each other.
Yes, you both have your own individual lives, you’re not co-dependent, but you really, really like each other and want to spend your time with each other.
You might not want to go to bed because you’re enjoying each other’s company. You might not want to get out of the house and do something because you’re happy where you are. Isolating with this person doesn’t scare you.
25. You accept them for who they are and don’t try to change them.
You don’t try to turn them into a person they’re not. They’re not clay for you to mold into an ideal partner. You don’t try to force them into situations that are uncomfortable for them. Again, you respect their thoughts and needs.
Don't Sweat Not Having a Soul Mate
If you haven’t found someone you really feel like you connect with, be patient. It’s better to really know yourself and be a party of one than try to make it work with someone who isn’t really a great match for you.
Sometimes we put too much thought into what is a soul mate. Sometimes it’s simply just who works with you and your needs. You don’t have to have a soul mate or a great partner to have a great life, so you’re not necessarily missing out on anything.
Some people have it written all over their hearts that they want to be with someone — others are content without a partner. So don’t get yourself into a twisted pretzel and worried over nothing.
If you think your current relationship isn’t as ideal as you want, there could be things the two of you could do to improve that. You may need to invest in each other’s interests more and spend more time together. It’s also possible you’re realizing it just isn’t the right relationship and you may need to break up. Don’t worry, people have been in your shoes. Whatever your scenario, there are solutions.
© 2020 Andrea Lawrence