Andrea has a background in astrology, Myers Briggs, and pop culture, with expertise in relationships and dating.
Flirting on Social Media
Texting and SMS might be a thing of the past when it comes to flirting. When I scroll through my texts on my phone, it’s mostly scams, doctor appointments, flight check-ins, package deliveries, and messages from family.
Friends and acquaintances are not conversing through text messages like they once did. I have more message threads that are alive on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.
In fact, almost all my closest friends converse more on social media than through texts. Years ago, I used to flirt through SMS — something changed.
Apps have won in terms of messaging. The good news is that you can be a lot more creative on apps than with texts.
1. Consistency Is King
Whether you’re talking to someone in person, calling them on the phone, doing video chats, or sending long message threads: consistency is king. You can tell someone likes you if they’re open to communicating with you.
- You’ll receive messages from this person on a regular basis.
- No one sends lots of messages to someone they hate. That’s weird.
- Consistency doesn’t mean that they respond to you immediately every single time. They make a point to get back to you. Some people get really worried if someone replies 30 minutes or an hour later. Don’t expect people to reply back instantly.
2. They Use Emojis, GIFS, and Filters
Someone who likes you will want to come off engaging and fun. Someone who is good at using social media knows how to use the tools to their advantage. They'll pepper in fun things to keep you entertained.
- They'll use flirtatious emojis like kisses, hearts, wedding rings, people holding hands, adorable animals, and anything and everything.
- GIFS will be funny, adorable, flirtatious, and random.
- Filters will also be random. Some people may try to use filters to make themselves look more attractive.
3. They're Trying to Get to Know You
The person on the other side asks you lots of questions to try and get to know you and to help keep the conversation alive. They may ask you things like:
- What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
- If you could move to anywhere in the world where would you go?
- If you could learn any language what would it be?
- What is your favorite color?
They’re going to ask friendly questions. (Don’t answer any questions that would be used as security questions for your private data. They don’t need to know the name of your first pet, your first teacher, or the person you shared your first kiss with.)
4. They're Sending You Pictures of Themselves
Sending selfies is a bold move. You’re really flaunting something if you feel the need to take pictures and send them to someone.
Don’t send unsolicited images that would offend your grandparents. These pictures could be used against you in the future. Also, for the most part, people don’t like those, and it will get you blocked.
- If she’s sending you selfies of herself all glammed up, then she’s flirting.
- If he keeps showing you pictures of his muscles and his new haircut, he is hoping you’ll take it as eye candy.
Fair warning: some people are just into themselves and narcissistic. They’re fishing for compliments and want you to tell them they’re pretty. That’s some people. If they’re sending pictures then they’re probably trying to see if you’re interested. Compliment them and see where it goes.
If you think their picture sharing is awkward, you should consider that — and decide whether you want to keep talking to them.
5. Long Message Threads
It takes a long time to craft a long message. If you are cool with their long messages, and you write back just as much, then the two of you probably like each other… or are fantastic friends. Either way, it’s a positive sign. Most people don’t write novels back and forth to each other.
If you’re into Western astrology, this is a classic flirtation technique of air signs. Geminis, Libras, and Aquariuses send gallons of words to those they adore.
6. They Like and Interact with Things on Your Social Media Page
I think direct messages are more important than your actual account when it comes to flirting, but someone who likes you will comment on your statuses, like your photos, and the sort.
Someone who likes you will keep tabs on you. They like interacting with your social media because it brings them joy. Someone who likes you won’t have a problem hitting the thumbs up button or the heart button. They interact with your social media and don’t leave you hanging.
7. They Send You Articles and Links That They Think You'll Like
If they like you, then when they run into something they think you’ll like, they’ll send it your way. This includes: articles, videos, charitable causes, pictures, memes, and events. When you like someone, you want to share positive content with them.
- Consider what they’re sending you. Do they only send you things related to politics? They might be hoping you will join a political cause and aren’t thinking of you as a potential romantic partner (sorry).
- Do they send you funny or sentimental videos? They’re hoping this will be a positive and memorable interaction.
- If they’re sending you events, they’re checking to see if you would be interested in going to these things.
8. The Communication Feels Natural
It's easy for you to write back and forth to each other. You don't feel like things are forced. It doesn't feel creepy. You both pick up the phone and lean on each other without thinking about it too much. If this is how things continue, it's likely that you both like each other. If there isn't really a flow to how you're interacting, then they're probably not into you that much.
Peppered in those conversations are lots of compliments. Some of the obvious ones have to do with your intelligence, your looks, your personality, and your sense of humor. If it starts to sound really cheesy, then they like you. If they're quoting Shakespeare then good god they have it bad for you.
10. You Make Plans with Each Other
You naturally talk to each other and make plans whether that’s meeting up to study for a test, grabbing some lunch, playing in a park, or whatever. Messaging should be used for entertainment and conversations; it should also be used for planning.
After spending time making fun messages, it’s only natural that you’ll start making plans with each other in person. Why keep the fun to the digital world when you could actually go to a coffee shop or wine tasting?
11. Anything That Shows They've Been Thinking of You or Missing You
- "I was just thinking about you..."
- "Do you remember that time we..."
- "I was just about to write to you, but you beat me to it..."
- "It's been way too long since we last chatted..."
- "Things are not the same when you are gone..."
12. They Want to Talk about Your Personality
If they’re bringing up Myers Briggs, Western Astrology, or anything like this then they’re trying to figure out whether you jive with them or if you’re into those kinds of things. If they keep referring to your personality and how they like it, then there is a good chance they have a crush on you.
13. The Things They Say Are Personal
Only a crazy person shares personal details with a stranger or enemy. The more personal the details, the more they value your friendship (or even consider you a potential sweetheart).
- Do they talk about family?
- Do they talk about their deepest fears?
- Do they talk about what makes them sad?
- Do they talk about existential crises?
14. They Talk to You Openly Whenever
The person you communicate with will talk and respond to you day or night. They don't stop talking to you once it gets dark. They don't ignore you throughout the entire day. Something is fishy if they only talk to you during a certain window of the day. They also talk to you any day of the week and not just on Fridays or Saturdays.
15. They Ask for Your Input
They’re always asking for your advice/input. They want to know your opinion on things. They lean on your wisdom. They think you’re smart, and they want to incorporate that into their world. When someone likes you, they 100% want your input.
16. They Also Call You or Do Video Chats
Messaging goes through trends almost like fashion. Once people get bored of writing messages they start calling each other. If someone likes you, they may go the extra mile and call you or do a video chat with you.
17. They Wish You Goodnight in a Meaningful Way
They don't just say goodnight or bye. They have an excellent way of closing the conversation and making it memorable. They say something sweet and endearing. They don't leave you hanging.
18. They're Not Flaky or Wishy-Washy
Someone who has a crush on you has more focus than someone who is single and mingling and talking to everybody and their dog.
Someone who has a crush on you will want to make you a priority. Someone who is flaky, wishy-washy, or playing the field is all over the place. Consider whether the person you’re talking to comes off sincere and trusting or aloof.
19. They Have a Nickname for You
If they have an endearing nickname for you, then they have a soft spot for you.
20. You Make Each other Laugh
The endorphins from laughing make for strong bonds. If you're both trying to make each other laugh, this is a good sign. Especially if your antics actually succeed at creating laughter.
Trivia: Elon Musk and Grimes started dating after Musk found a joke about artificial intelligence on Grimes' Twitter account. Musk reached out to her. Dating off social media can be that easy.
© 2021 Andrea Lawrence