Andrea has an extensive background in writing, pottery, knitting, Europe, ghosts, pirates, and environmental science.
Welcome to Crush City
So you have a crush on someone and you're wondering if he likes you back. Have no fear! I am here to help.
Some people are as obvious as the sun shining light into the world when it comes to crushes. Some people are a little more reserved about their feelings. This hub hopes to help you figure out if someone might like you.
Body Language Reveals Our Feelings
When someone likes you, there often is a shine to their eyes. They're smiling a lot and giving you direct eye contact. This is someone who wants to engage in conversation with you. We look at what we want to understand, what we want to include, and what we want to get to know.
Body language is one of the most obvious ways that someone reveals they have feelings for you.
- Watch the eyes. Are they dilated? Do they seem to have a certain sparkle to them? Someone who has feelings often has a glossy look them. He'll have a certain unmistakable look to his eyes.
- We're often unaware of what our feet are doing. Look at someone's feet and see where they point. If they are pointed at you, it might be a signal.
- He often does something awkward with his hands -- fixing his hair, playing with paper or something on a table, a sudden quick movement to fix up his outfit. When we like someone we instinctively groom ourselves.
- They get antsy in your presence. They like you and they don't know what to do with themselves. They might be bouncy in their chair, moving their feet a whole lot, or basically just showing some excited energy. Careful though, some people are just boundless with energy. Always consider other variables that might be at play. It's all too easy to have misconceptions in love.
- He can't stop touching his hair. He keeps combing it. Again, grooming is an instinctive behavior of someone who likes another person.
- He has forward facing body language. He turns to your direction. He doesn't want his back to you because then he can't see you. He makes sure you are in sight.
- You might notice him staring at you several times whether from afar or right next to you. Everything starts in the eyes. Flash back your stunning eyelashes.
- He fixes his socks. This is a strange one, but when you really don't know what to do with your hands and someone really grabs you in the heart -- you fix your socks. You're trying to avert your feelings to somewhere else. Feelings create energy and you have to put it somewhere.
- He keeps following you. Hopefully he isn't a stalker, but he might be curious about what you're doing throughout a night.
- He reaches out and touches you with his hands, maybe to guide you through a crowd, maybe to fix your hair, or maybe to pat you on the back. You should consider whether he does this with other people. Some people are more touchy-feely than others. Also, if you don't like these things -- you should tell him that.
Focus for You
Someone who has feelings for someone has focus for them. Even if they're trying to hide it they'll give you a certain amount of attention. Someone who has a crush on you has his eyes on you. He may train himself to avert his gaze, but he likely wants to see what you're up to if he likes you.
- He'll remember details about you. He'll remind you of something that happened a long time ago. He'll go through memories and have a positive spin to it. He doesn't want to embarrass you. He just wants to bring up something he finds enduring, sweet, pleasant, or enjoyable.
- He will look to your opinion in a group setting. He'll align with you in a group. He'll try to sit near you. You can expect him to try to be your lab partner.
- He notices things about you like lint on your coat. He might try to fix these things.
- He fixes little things for you without asking. He wants to be helpful. He wants to be memorable.
- He tries to impress you with his knowledge about you. He might remember that you took a trip to Italy and found a small red cat that you played with for 30 minutes and named Christina.
- He tries to stand out from the crowd to get your attention. He might do something to try to get your eyes on him.
- He makes an effort to mindlessly talk to you at work or school.
- He has a nickname or pet name for you. It's a nice name not something mean.
- Sometimes when he likes you he may do something mean to get your attention. He doesn't really know what to do with you.
- He makes an extra effort when he previously didn't.
He Finds You Charming
Just because he has feelings for you doesn't mean he knows what to do with those feelings, so you can expect some odd displays. You might ask yourself -- what is he doing? Why is he so abrupt? Why is he being so weird? Why did his behavior change? Hopefully all these questions have to do with either cute or socially awkward things.
You should develop a keen sense as you age for when people are serious about you vs. those that have no idea what they're doing. Don't give too much time to those who honestly don't know how to cope with their feelings. Sometimes guys will play head games with you because they haven't matured.
Instead of leaning on someone who is a mess, look for someone who is focused on you. Don't get stuck with someone who is hot and cold with you.
Someone who really likes you isn't going to be able to hold back those feelings. He will be consistent.
More Signs He Has Feelings for You
- He won't be able to get enough of you. He'll find a way to talk to you. He'll text you, he'll email you, he responds quickly, and he jumps at any opportunity to get to know you or make you happy. He is eager and excited about you. Feelings are all about energy and excitement.
- He'll try to impress you. Maybe he'll bring over every book he can find of your favorite author. Maybe he'll drive you to a beautiful spot in the city that is his favorite spot. Maybe he'll stock his fridge with your favorite and hard-to-find ice cream. When he likes you he is eager and tries to impress you. When he is uncertain about you, he'll sit somewhere between that.
- Consider what you do when you have feelings for someone. A lot of how you interact with others when you have a crush is how someone else will interact with people.
- If he is shy, he might find comfort in your presence. If he usually doesn't talk to most people and sees you as more approachable that could be a sign that you have a soft spot in his heart. He likes you because he finds it easy to talk to you.
- Often people fall for their friends. Friendly connections can mature into something more -- but don't force it.
- Sometimes people develop feelings for their sworn enemies. Shocking but it happens. You know something is fishy if you used to hate each other and now you feel the opposite.
- He'll care about what you think of him. He seems to care about your opinion. He seems to mold to your opinions.
- He might try to get interested in things that you like that might not really be all that fitting for him -- like your love of Korean soap operas. He tries to find shared interests.
- He puts in more effort than he did previously. Suddenly your best friend seems to be trying really hard with their looks, he seems to speak from rehearsed speeches, he seems way more attentive.
- He kisses you and seems pretty happy about it. He gives you a starry eyed look after kissing you. He seems into it.
- He candidly straight up tells you he has feelings for you. If he straight up tells you this, believe him.
- He says he loves you. Context is everything, but if he says the "l" word -- he probably isn't throwing it around casually.
- His hugs last a little bit longer. The longer the hug the more the feelings. A long embrace isn't what you give a potato.
- He talks to you about anything -- especially things that are more personal. Most of us don't ramble about our family, our ambitions, or our deepest thoughts.
- He seems to rely on you. We don't just have reliance on anyone. If he seems to rely on you for part of his day then he likes you. You can tell he relies on you if he misses you.
- He invites you to things, he includes you, he encourages you, he seems smitten.
- He goes old school and writes you letters on the regular.
- He is willing to travel hours just to see you. If you live several hours away and he keeps coming up for weekend visits, then he must really like you to sacrifice all that time.
- He wants to take you to nice things like ballets, symphonies, art museums, and other fancy events. He wants to take you to expensive things and regularly.
- He surprises you with gifts. His gifts are really thoughtful and show that he took the time to come up with them.
- He gives you special attention that isn't given to others. He treats you in a different way. He treats you in a different positive way.
- He has a different set of emotions for you. People tell you that he acts different around you.
- He laughs extra hard at your jokes. He is, dare I say, captivated by your words.
- He has sweaty palms. This is a classic sign of nerves. Some people do just sweat more.
- He is consistent. Someone who has feelings and likes it will want to explore those feelings.
- He says he wants to be in a relationship with you. Generally, people spend time getting to know each other. They start to like each other and then want to make a commitment.
- He seems to try to maintain and keep a personal connection with you with little notes, finding moments to chat, or finding ways to include you in his day. He wants to maintain something.
- He makes you a priority. You're not an after thought.
- He is responsive to your needs. He'll notice when you're cold and offer his coat. He'll notice when you're struggling to walk and offers you an arm.
- If he has a lot of butterflies in his stomach, he might have a hard time eating or eat really slow. Feelings can make you really nervous, so it can come out in funny ways.
What If He Is Shy?
Yeah, some of us are shy or introverted. I think you'll still see signs of feelings even if he is really reserved and good at hiding it. He'll still probably stare at you from time to time; he'll still try to interact with you in some special and different way. He might be more subtle about it.
- Shy guys will make quick and subtle jokes around you.
- He'll be watching you to determine if you have any interest in him.
- He might be looking for a way to break the ice.
- He may not know what to do with words.
I find shy guys like to be in your presence. He'll find a way to just kind of be there. He might not say much. Try observing him and see how he responds to different interactions in the same room of people. He might try to do something really simple or cute to get your attention. Shy guys are better at subtle nuances rather than big gestures. He might not really want to compete and be an alpha male. He would prefer to be a little more elusive.
Consider the energy in his voice when he does talk. Does he still sound engaged? Excited? Maybe he talks to you in a different way. When someone has feelings for someone they act different. He'll communicate with you in a special way. He might straighten up his posture, he might try to subtly show something he is good at doing like playing the guitar or drawing. He might actually try to get you to talk, so he can listen.
If you pull him out of his shell somewhat he might enjoy your presence. He likes that you actually give him some attention.