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A lot of couples believe it's a good idea to live together before they get married in order to "test run" their relationship. As it looks, should I do this? You might not want to do this at all. There are a lot of people who are "experts" who don't think it's a good idea to do so at all. Non-Christian experts are included in this list. In addition, we're talking about a wide range of people who work with people.
Why not do it? This seems like a good thing to do. It's an interesting question.
To help you, we've put together some of the work of a few of these people. If you don't already know what this issue is about, this will give you a taste of it.
Some of the downsides of living together before getting married:
Despite what some people say, research shows that living together before you get married may make you more likely to divorce. Many experts say that the "spongy" approach to commitment that cohabitation shows makes it easier for a couple to break up when things get hard. It affects how willing you are to work through life's problems together based on how seriously you take your sexual fidelity and marriage vows to God. In addition, research shows that couples who live together are more likely to be unfaithful, have domestic violence, and be less satisfied with their relationships than those who don't. By living with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you're going to make things worse. In Today's Christian Woman, Juli Slattery says that a test run for marriage isn't a test of how well you can live together as a family.
Why don't you and your partner live together?
The idea that you and your partner can see how well they work together by living together is possible. As a "test drive," it can help you improve your chances of getting married. Despite the fact that this makes sense, the truth is very different. A lot of studies say that cohabiting couples are 50 percent more likely to split up than non-cohabiting couples. There is a lot more domestic violence in these relationships, too. In addition, they are more likely to have relationships outside of marriage. If a couple lives together and gets pregnant, they are more likely to break up in two years than if they don't have a child. Because of this, a single mother is often forced to raise her child alone.
Abstaining from sex It's the best way to find out if you and your partner are a good match for marriage." A year before you get married, you should start getting counseling and taking psychological tests. In the words of a doctoral candidate, think about this "marriage myth" for a while in prayer.
Many people think that couples who live together before they get married are more likely to have a happy and long-lasting marriage than those who don't. This isn't true. They are more likely to divorce if they live together before they get married than if they don't. People who have done a lot of research say this, too." People who live together may be more wary of commitment and more likely to break up when things go wrong. A happy marriage is more difficult if you live together because it can make you more likely to have bad habits. Some researchers have found that "cohabiting partners may have less of a desire" to work on their conflict resolution and support skills. If you look at the paper from Smartmarriages®, you can see the "top 10 myths about marriage".
When it comes to living together, there are a lot of other things to think about.
It's clear that living together raises ethical issues." This is true from a sociological and psychological point of view, though. Cohabitation relationships are less stable and long-lasting than marriages. For this reason, Glenn Stanton, who is the director of family formation studies for Focus on the Family, says this is true.
When it comes to relationships, men tend to think of them as less important and short-lived than women do. Stanton also said that the parents and relatives of both partners don't know what kind of relationship they have. In this case, if he had a job at a factory, would he be more likely to get it for him. Or, would he do the same thing he did for his daughter's husband, his son-in-law, and help them buy their first home? There isn't. This is an example of one of the many practical differences between couples who live together. (Erin Roach, from "Cohabiting Normative but Harmful," an article on Crosswalk.com )
There is often a sense of awkwardness in the minds of extentended family members or people who aren't close to them. Even so, the most important reason why they can't live together is because of their spiritual lives. Those who claim to be followers of Christ are expected to conduct themselves in accordance with God's will.
God's reasons are far above and beyond what we can think of.
For everyone's safety, God set up a set of rules for how we should live together. His law was made up of rules that he came up with because he cared so much about and loved his fallen creations. God is not a spoilsport or a prude because he put rules on extramarital sex. Sex is a gift from God to the people that he made. People are at their most vulnerable when they are having sex. God, in all of his wisdom, knows this. So, he takes steps to keep this kind of intimacy safe. That only when there is a strong sense of long-term commitment between the man and the woman can one give all of one's self to the other person. You can't make a promise in the backseat of a car if you don't say it out loud to your family, friends, church, and government officials!" RC Sproul said this:
This isn't the only thing to remember. Also, don't forget to keep "We're told only to give our bodies to our spouses when we're married to them.(Genesis 2:24; see also Our sexuality has a high purpose in God's eyes, and anything less than this dishonors it). So, premarital sex is all about the person who does it. It puts our own happiness above God's plan for us and our partner. It's also possible for people who have premarital sex to break up with their partner at any time, even if they don't want to. " In other words, he's saying, "I want to use your body to satisfy my sexual appetite, but I don't want to be bound by your sexual consent afterward. "" (The Myth of Romance, Dennis McCallum and Gary DeLashmutt)
When a man and a woman wed and joined their bodies sexually, in God's eyes, it was a union of the sexes." There is a shift in consciousness. They truly become "one" in the act of making love, which is a physical representation of the spiritual reality of marriage. One person is formed from two separate individuals. However, this physical union is only one aspect of the relationship. The union of a man and a woman encompasses all aspects of their relationship. This applies not only to one's sexuality, but also to one's mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Sexual union was never intended to be a separate entity from this greater union in God's design. When it comes to extramarital sex, C. S. Lewis likens it to someone who relishes the taste and sensation of food. Taking in and digesting food isn't something he wants to do. Here, God's original intention is being twisted. Chewing and swallowing food is a fundamental part of human nutrition. Similarly, the sex act was intended to be a part of the marriage's all-encompassing union. We are disrespecting and dishonoring marriage when we try to experience sex outside of this union." It's not sexual desire that's the problem, according to "Sex is Not the Problem."
Consider: "Basically, living together is a cheaper, flimsier form of marriage
The evidence suggests that living together is detrimental to marriage, but I rely on Paul's words in Ephesians to support my argument. God's holy people aren't supposed to have a single trace of sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity, or even a sliver of greed in their hearts (Ephesians 5:3).
"Sex outside of the covenant of marriage is not God's plan for sexuality, regardless of whether you share a home. Cohabiting couples are less satisfied with their marriages than those who have never lived together. Infidelity and divorce are also more common among them. The consequences of deviating from God's plan are always present. Someone is spreading a lie if they tell you otherwise." (Suzanne Hadley Gosselin, "The Living-Together Lie," Boundless.org))
For these reasons, it's not a good idea for couples to live together before getting married. Other factors come into play as well.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
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