Skip to main content

Safety and The Single Lady Volume 8

  • Author:
  • Updated date:

Ms. Macon is an advice columnist and content writer for radio and television commercials. Catch her on Ask A Bitchface, truly funny truth.

I'm Usually Miked Up And Ready To Work

The ever-present headphones.

The ever-present headphones.

With My Internet Down, I Called Tech Support...

I immediately explained we were going to need to be low-tech terminology because I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I caught myself before saying anything like, "no, no husband or boyfriend to help", and any other minor details that would tell this man on the other end of the phone what type of lifestyle I'm living.

Of course, I started thinking about all of the other things I do in my daily life that advertise just how alone I am the majority of the time. And to make it even worse, most of the time I am exactly how you see me in the photo, headphones on playing whatever is inspiring my work, or whatever podcast or video edits I'm working. I'm an ideal victim, it would appear.

Don't count on that, though. I've been at this a long time. Let's talk about the things I personally do to ensure I'm staying safe as a perpetually single woman.

I know for a fact my Amazon delivery man could tell you I am a single woman...

I Take My Own Advice...

I don't just sit and preach to my choir without following my own advice, ladies. I have dogs. Barking, slobbering, really want to know who is at my door dogs. And I love those dogs like they're my children, so they don't let me out of their sight. Like, ever. Not for a shower, a nap, a phone conversation. My whole life is witnessed by dogs.

This also guarantees that anyone who comes to my home is announced the moment they hit the driveway. My dogs alert if a louder vehicle turns onto my street. And I do not chastise them for it. They are doing exactly as I need them to do. They're letting me know that I'm not alone, someone is out there, and we need to ascertain if that someone is a friend or a foe. Good dogs.

Attractive in certain circles, but not friendly.

Attractive in certain circles, but not friendly.

I've Been Attractive My Whole Life, I Don't Need The Extra Attention...

I don't call any unnecessary attention to my life and my person. I've been considered an attractive woman since I became a woman, so I don't need any neon or flashing lights to advertise what I am. I'm used to it. Let's get past it and discuss something else, thanks.

Scroll to Continue

You won't see any clothing drying in the Florida sun, because I forego the smell of nature to never announce to anyone outside of my home who lives inside my home. There is a shoe rack inside the door so shoes aren't left in the breezeway to tell tales, either. I'll gladly sweep and mop the entryway in order to save myself the trouble an exterior pile of shoes might bring me. My windows all have both blinds and blackout drapes, and that isn't just to save on my AC bills. What goes on inside my home, and who is on the other side of my door is my business, not a potential burglar or rapist's business.

I don't leave mail in my mailbox overnight. My carrier knows I've been here for 5 years, so the label in the box has long since been removed. The Amazon delivery man could tell you I'm a single woman living alone who really, really needs her coffee delivery on time, but I don't think he likes me very much since that day my coffee didn't show up until 10 p.m. Nothing about the outside of my home shouts "really eclectic single lady spending all of her time alone" unless you count my hibiscus and the solar lights I hang all over the porch, because I like never having absolute darkness, even in a power outage.

I'm always looking for low-tech, inexpensive deterrents to becoming a victim in my home...

I follow some Home Defense and Tactical At Home threads...

The home defense and home security threads I follow on Reddit and Quora have some amazing tips sometimes, and I try to make sure I browse them a few times a month. Today, they linked this article, which provided some of the tips the Gainesville Ripper, Danny Rolling, provided in a book about his crimes. I know that guy went in through windows, I know he was a prolific rapist and murderer, and I know that means I want to know how to keep those like him out of my home.

Among the top tips, keep window screens on your home, and nail them in place. Don't make it easy for these guys to just pop the screen, sit it on the ground, and come into your guest bedroom window. Also, line up glass bottles, old mason jars, or candle jars on the ledge behind the screen. Things that are going to start falling and breaking the second anyone is trying to gain entry through that window. That way, even if the dogs don't hear him outside, they're going to hear that glass hit the floor and start breaking. You will as well.

As a woman in the South, I firmly believe in a carry permit. A revolver isn't going to accidentally blast off in your nightstand and hurt you. You have to apply adequate pressure to get it to shoot. I have always recommended revolvers for women, still do, and apparently, Danny Rolling did too, before the Great State of Florida put a needle in his arm. I may not care about anything else this rapist and murderer had to say, but if it kept him out of a woman's bedroom at night, then I want to know about it.


Ladies, You Have To Protect Yourselves...

The average police response time in my city is 9 minutes. I know what can happen to me in 9 minutes, because it took less than 6 to be assaulted and left for dead in 1997. I'm not interested in fighting off a grown man who may or may not be under the influence of something once he is inside my home. I want to do everything I can to keep him from gaining access to me to begin with.

Do as I did today after I realized I was about to tell a male stranger everything about my life on the phone. Check yourself, ladies. Check yourself now before someone else does it for you after dark.

© 2022 MsMacon

Related Articles