Ms. Macon is an advice columnist and content writer for radio and television commercials. Catch her on Ask A Bitchface, truly funny truth.
Safety and the Single Lady at Home
The other night, I shared an article that I wrote about general safety tips for your average, everyday single lady. No lasers, and panic rooms, and iris scanners. Just some simple, everyday tips to apply in your life that will assist in keeping you from becoming a woman with a horrible story to tell, or worse, a woman who cannot tell her story.
Now, I’ve never been one to subscribe to all that hype about women being meek and mild. As a matter of fact, I’m quite the opposite. I know I can handle myself. I probably wouldn’t want to run into myself in a dark alley, lest I kick my own ass for startling myself. Even knowing that, I’m not just going to throw caution to the wind and sit naked on a bus bench. We have to use our sense that the good Lord blessed us with, ladies. We have to look out for ourselves.
That being said, today I’m bringing you 5 simple common sense highlights to staying safe as a single woman. As a matter of fact, you don’t have to be single to use them, they apply to every woman. Without further yammering:
Dog. Dog. Dog.
Some Resources. Some Tips. Some More Shit.
Resources and tips
I’ll be the first to tell you, I don’t know a quarter of the things I would like to know. That means, I have to make it a point to know where to go for information and helpful hints. I follow a Reddit thread, Home Defense, and they are tip central. (https://reddit.com/r/homedefense).
They have all sorts of cool ideas, and run down things like outdoor lights and cameras, making sure you’re using the proper window and door locks, etc. That show the little things do make all of the difference. Simply replacing the screws in your door hardware can minimize the risk of having your door kicked in. You will never know so much that you can’t learn something new. Don’t be afraid to learn a better way to keep yourself safe.
There is no reason 475 people on your Facebook need to know you're at your daughters' soccer game.
Get yourself a regular thing
Find a handyman
From time to time, ladies, we need a little help to get things done around our homes. Mine is plumbing. I hate it. I won’t even try because I don’t have the patience to deal with it. I have a handyman that I call. The reason is because I don’t want some random guy who is barely vetted showing up expecting me to let him and his work partner into my home. I use one guy, a general contractor. He shows up alone. He fixes my stuff. He leaves. Sometimes, his wife runs his part or tool over to him, and I offer her a cup of coffee. That, to me, will always be better than letting two strange guys into my house for any length of time. It also furthers my point of minimizing the number of people you allow into your house. I don’t want my dogs knowing 8 different repair men. Or 8 different repair men knowing the layout and safety vulnerabilities of my home. To me, the risk doesn’t outweigh the reward.
Just get a dog, already.
Dog. Dog. Dog.
I say this every time, and I will say it every other time in the future. A woman that lives alone, or even one that just spends 5 minutes a day at home alone, you need a dog. Dogs are an early warning system. Dogs are intimidating. Dogs are friends, bouncers, security staff, floor cleaners, and toddler watchers. Dogs. You don’t have a question to which the answer isn’t dog.
Why are you being as predictable as last night's newcast?
If I spent a week following you, would you be at every single location for 5 days straight at the same time, doing the same activity? If you answered yes, Punkin, we need to have a talk. Stop being predictable. You don’t want someone to be able to anticipate your location. Or how long you’ll be there. Or that you’ll be distracted trying to get a carseat out while inside a closed garage. I know you see where I’m going with this. Pay attention to the people around you.
Don’t let your every move be known. I hate apps with a check-in feature for this very reason. There is no reason that 475 people on Facebook need to know you’re at your daughters' soccer game. Just statistics alone say that 2% of those 475 don’t need to be anywhere near your daughter. Be smarter than the predators, ladies. Stop doing all of their damned homework for them.
You had better start waving at your neighbor...
I’m not telling you to socialize with that tweeker couple down the street, or the weird guy at the end of the block who sits in his robe in a lawn chair. I am telling you that the nice elderly couple across the street that are retired, or the stay at home mom next door can be a huge deterrent to crime. I work from home during the day, then until early morning hours at the bar. I know everything that happens on my street at any time of the day. Not because I try to, but because I am always here. Therefore, if Judy at the cul-de-sac has a strange car in her driveway this morning, and I see random young men in and out of her house, I’m going to take 2 of the dogs for a walk in an hour or so if that car is still there, and I’m going to make a point of having the 9 and 1 already dialed if I feel the need. You aren’t home all day most days if you’re a working single woman. That means someone else in your neighborhood is going to see more of what’s happening than you will. That also means if something happens to your home, or God forbid, to you, those folks that see everything are going to see something is different, and hopefully they’ll get involved.
If you are a woman who has a situation with an ex, neighbors can be a life and death difference. If your ex drives a black Buick, and you tell that stay at home mom to call law enforcement if there is ever a black Buick there, he is more than likely going to meet interference if he parks that black Buick in your driveway. You don’t need to tell everyone your business, but that mom is aware of everything because she’s paying attention to a danger to her children. Use your head. Utilize resources that are already in place. It doesn’t cost you anything, but if you don’t value your safety, you could pay for it with your life.
Stay safe, ladies. I’m out here pulling for you.
I hate check-in features on apps. Turn them off.
- home defense related discussion and ideas.
r/homedefense: Anything relating to defending your home and family. Home security system information, CCTV cameras, Outdoor lighting, entryway …
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2019 MsMacon
dashingscorpio from Chicago on December 30, 2019:
We live in an era where discussions concerning taking precautions to avoid or reduce one's odds of being a target of crime is often called "blaming the victim".
Some people don't want to hear it especially in hindsight.
Long ago I was watching a daytime talk show where one woman stood up in the audience and said:
"I don't care if a woman walks the street butt naked no man has the right to rape her!" She received a thunderous applause.
My question: "Is that the (smart) thing to do?"
Criminals don't care about your rights!
Technically I should be able to leave my car keys in the ignition of my car parked on a street overnight and no one has (the right) to steal it. I should be able to go to bed with my front door wide open and no one has (the right) to enter my home to rob or kill me. I should be able to walk down an alley counting my money at midnight and no one has (the right) to mug me.
We teach our children to look both ways before crossing the street even though they have "the right of way" when the light is green. It's not about "rights". It's about being smart and aware.
Each of us has an obligation to look out for ourselves!
Learning about crime prevention tools is good commonsense.