Anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one and who has dealt with the pain of that experience by seeing a counselor or working through self-help workbooks will tell you that there are five stages of grief that you go through as you deal with this loss. What you may not know is that we go through some version of these five stages of grief every single time that we feel a loss even if there isn’t a death involved. One type of loss that all of us eventually experience is the loss of a romantic relationship that was very important to us. When we go through that experience, we go through those same stages of grief that we would go through if someone close to us had died.
Of course, the way that we process the breakup of a relationship isn’t quite the same as how we would process a death. With a relationship, the other person is still there for us to interact with (at least theoretically; we may not actually be speaking to them). This complicates the traditional grief process because ongoing interaction can change the dynamics of the relationship and cause new patterns in dealing with the loss. Additionally, the possibility of getting back together with our romantic interest creates difficulty with some of the stages of grief. Nevertheless, as we go through the ending of a relationship, we will eventually go through all of those same five stages of grief.
Having a good understanding of what those five stages of grief are can help you to better understand the emotions that you are experiencing when you go through the breakup of an important relationship. Knowing some of the things that commonly happen or feelings that get felt during each stage can help you to understand that what you are going through is normal and that eventually it will pass. And being able to see what stage of grief you are in can help you to better process the loss so that you can grow from the experience (painful though it is) and eventually be better in future relationships because you’ve processed it all through.
So, let’s take a look at those five stages of grief. They were originally outlined by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross but I’m looking at them here through the lens of relationships and am adding information from my own experiences with this process as well as from an amalgamation of many different books on the topic that I’ve read over time. Any book on grief or the grief process of relationships will give you additional insight into these five stages:
1. Denial. It is often said that the first stage of grief is denial. Whereas you may move back and forth between the other stages (and this one as well) you basically almost always start with this one. It’s the stage of not being able to really admit to yourself what is going on. And while it’s definitely a part of the grief process people go through with death, it’s probably even more integral to the grief process of a relationship ending.
This stage is that stage in a relationship when you kind of know that things aren’t quite right anymore but you don’t want to deal with it. You hope that it’s just a rough patch. You don’t want to ask if you’re being cheated on because you’d really rather not know right now even if you think that maybe you should know. You look at the happy moments and think, ‘it’s okay, things are fine’.
We deny that the relationship is ending for a lot of reasons. Sometimes relationships really do just have rough periods and you can’t really know what’s going on until more time has passed. Sometimes we’re just too afraid to admit that things need to change so we keep ignoring the problem for as long as we can. Sometimes we have deep-rooted childhood issues related to abandonment that make it emotionally too terrifying for us to face the end of our relationships so we cling on.
Even after you and your partner have finally admitted out loud that there is a problem, there could still be an ongoing period of denial. It’s that period when you’re still talking and trying to work things out. It’s that period when you’ve stopped talking but in your mind you’re hoping that he or she will call and it will eventually get resolved. You may come back to this stage again and again as you go through the grief process depending on how much you interact with your ex. But the biggest stage of denial comes at the beginning when you’re trying to fight off the relationship ending in the first place.
2. Anger. Anger is a stage that we all have to go through if we’re going to process our grief over the loss of our relationship. Unfortunately, a lot of people are really terrified of anger (both their own anger and the anger of others) so they refuse to acknowledge this part of the process. Failure to allow yourself to feel your anger feelings can result in never actually completing the grief process and therefore being unable to move on. So it’s important that we acknowledge our anger over the situation.
If you’re asking yourself who you’re going to be angry at, the answer is a lot of people. You’ll definitely be angry at your partner for not doing whatever you wanted him or her to do to make things right. You’ll probably be angry at yourself for your own mistakes in the relationship. You may be angry at God or the universe or life itself because things had seemed so good and now they’re not. You might even be angry at other people in your life and people from your past – angry at your parents for whatever they did that made you incapable of making this relationship work, angry at the friend who told you your husband was cheating or the friends who didn’t, angry at whoever happens to be around.
This anger can be scary but it’s a very real part of the grief process. The important thing is to acknowledge the anger and deal with it in ways that are safe and sane. Don’t be self-destructive. Write it out in journal entries and letters that you don’t send. Work with a counselor. Get anger management therapy if you need it. But don’t repress that anger or it’s just going to come back and bite you later on.
3. Bargaining. Another stage of grief that we go through when we experience any loss is bargaining. In the case of a death, we try to bargain with God or whatever greater spirit we believe in to try to make the big problem go away. We may also do this in the case of our relationship ending but there’s also a good chance that we do bargaining with our partner and bargaining with ourselves. This is typically considered to be the third stage of grief but it may come before the anger for a lot of people as they try to move out of their denial and to work things out with their partner.
Bargaining is that stage of the break-up when you’re trying to make deals and compromises. It’s when you start talking about how an open relationship might be a possibility or a long-distance thing could work. It’s when you say to your partner, “if you just did this then I could do that and it would work”. It’s when you say to yourself that you’ll do x, y, z to be a better spouse so that the relationship doesn’t have to end. It’s when you say to your Higher Power that you’ll meditate more often if only you’ll experience enough peace to get through the tough times together.
Sometimes bargaining actually works. Sometimes you can actually find constructive ways to reach an agreement with yourself, your partner and / or your god to change the situation so that you can still be in a relationship. But most times it is just part of the process that we go through as we learn to deal with the fact that our relationship with someone is coming to an end.
4. Depression. After all of the denial and the anger and the bargaining have been done and we realize that things really are starting to end, we become depressed. We fell helpless and powerless and overwhelmed with sadness about the loss that we are experiencing. We feel like we are never going to meet another person who makes us feel as good as this person did. We feel like we’re never going to be as happy on our own as we were with that person. We feel like things will never be the same and it makes us feel sad.
This is the time that it is most important to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves. We need to get enough rest because this period of the grief process is particularly tiring. We need to eat right, exercise and try to stay healthy. We need to surround ourselves with supportive friends, people who love us and make us feel good about ourselves. And we need to force ourselves to go out and do things that interest us even though this feels like the last thing that we want to do.
Even as we do all this, we need to acknowledge our depression. We need to admit to our emotions. We need to cry. To deal with loss, we have to feel the terrible pangs of sadness that come along with that loss. We need to say to ourselves and to others that we are sad and that we don’t know how long we will be sad but that eventually we won’t be sad anymore. Depression is a powerful emotion but it is only an emotion and it will eventually pass.
5. Acceptance. Believe it or not, at the end of all of this, you will eventually reach a day when you have accepted the situation. No matter how many times you passed back and forth between the stages listed above, you will one day find that those stages are finally done. You will think of your ex or even run into him or be friends with her again and you will no longer feel angry or sad. You will no longer be trying to fix things or wishing that things were different or trying to get back what you once had or blaming the other person for things going wrong. You will have accepted that things were the way they were, the situation ended as it did, you grew as a person and it’s all okay. It feels like you will never get to this stage as you go through the trauma of a breakup but eventually, believe it or not, if you’ve dealt properly with the other four stages of grief then you really will get to this one. Hang in there!
- The Stages of Grief: Coping with Loss in Divorce
An examination of the stages of loss and bereavement-- to help you understand your feelings and cope with what you're going through
- The 5 stages of grief
There 5 stages of grief. Learn what to expect after a loss.
- Kübler-Ross model - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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very informative and great article!
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Peter on December 10, 2014:
I feel a bit silly posting here, as I only knew my ex for 3 months. She came into my life, full of (what I thought was) love, affection, attention. She said I was the one and we were a team. She would never leave me. Then she was gone. Just an email. I was devastated. She did seem desperate to commit to me, she wanted me to move in with her after a few months. She was judgemental towards my son, who she never really knew. She was quite controlling. I tell myself I should be relieved that she has gone. I realise now that I don't miss her, I miss the way she made me feel. It still hurts.
Robert Claudio 2 on November 05, 2014:
I really understand all these much like we almost all do by our 36th year of Earth living. I wish I could go back and fulfill the bargaining stage but I couldn't do it and lost the love of my life. Oh well. Onward.
Honey Bee on March 31, 2014:
Today I moved all my things out of our apartment. My boyfriend kicked me out this past Friday. Along with the break up also comes the loss of my job ( which means loss of my income and way of living,) and well as loss of my home. I don't think I have reached any of the stages yet, because I am just sad. I am sad, hurt, miserable, alone, scared, sick to my stomach, exhausted from no sleep. I read through all the stages and everyone's post and I can't even begin to prepare myself for any of those stages. I know eventually they will come and eventually go, but how does one mentally, physically and emotionally cope with all 3 of those things at once?! It's draining just coping with one bad incident at once, I don't know how to handle all 3 at the same time.
I always used to say "Let go and Let God!" But I can't find the words or eats to let go or to even let God.
I am broken and I have no clue how to try to fix me.
susan on October 18, 2013:
I want to use this opportunity to thank Dr. Olokum for helping me get my lover back after he left me few months ago. I have sent friends and my brothers to beg him for me but he refused that it is all over between both of us but when I met this Dr. Olokum he told me to relaxed that every thing will be fine and really after just a week I got my man back. so thank you so much Olokum. here is the email and phone number of Dr. Olokum LAVEDERLOVESPELL@gmail.com
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gal71r on May 04, 2013:
In February after my boyfriend put the picture on facebook in which he cut me way,,and after I told him that its wrong. and we had more others problems.I said that I cannot see him any more.He said that he see nothing wrong in it,and keep calling and texting me.After 3 weeks he told me that why he cut me way from the picture,he not feel that he was commited to me.I said "bye" to him..but he was calling and texting to me.2 month he was texting that he loves me and that God told him that I am person for him.He said that he cares about me and wants to be with me.I forgive for everything to him,and after he told me that ;"lets work for the best and forget about everything,start from today".I forgive to him and see him on Friday.next day he was cold and on Sunday in Church I was driving to be there and after the church spend time with him----he said clearly that he has things to do....I was shock..sad,upset,and cannot believe how person can do this kind of games....he said that he ll call to me -"some times to see how I doing".I said-"no".I give a chance he not took it--to bad.For me difficult understand why he did so,,but I try not think about it,,and move from stage to stage...
PlateauGuy on February 20, 2013:
My ex and I have broken up at least 20 times since early last summer. It's been a couple of months since I last saw her but there's been regular (fruitless and hurtful) communication between us. Because of this I feel like it's not really over and I feel like I'm stuck in the denial stage. I know it's over but I don't feel/think it's over. Ugh.....
Jafety on November 17, 2012:
I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our weeding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls, She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..i lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man Dr.Zack Balo when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the items needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:25pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help. his email is ( firstname.lastname@example.org) i cant give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world.. he said his email email@example.com is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap.. hope he helped u out too..good luck
anonymous on November 17, 2012:
I recently ended a relationship of significant length and this article hits the nail right on the head of how each of us is going to deal with this situation. The most important thing by far is acknowledging that all the feelings are real and shouldn't be taken lightly. I pray that, in time, we both will be alright.
Gustavo on November 06, 2012:
I just wanted to say that 21 months ago I was visiting this page. In a morning when I tought I didn't have any reason to keep going, I saw this page and the understanding of the stages and the process I was going through after a break up, kept me motivated. Now I am happy again. My life is totally diferent and I thank you, Kathryn, for helping me with your words. Today I came back here because I was recommending this link to a friend. I hope she benefits from this, just like I did.
sonia on October 18, 2012:
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J on October 05, 2012:
OMG I am soo happy somehow to read this. I broke up with my boyfriend of a year about a week ago. I still love him very much, and I loved him when I did it. I just wasn't getting what I needed... As I am echoing some of the other posters here..he just wasn't the same guy I met and loved previously. I wanted the old him back (and still do). I told him the same. He didn't fight for me. I even asked him to. The odd things is, he seemed to go through some of these stages as we talked on the phone!! (Yes, I broke -up with him over the phone...he wouldn't "couldn't" meet with me, so I had to. I hope everyday he would call me and ask to see me because I would do it. I'm very much depressed, but I'm forcing myself to do my normal things and more. Can you believe I waited faithfully for him for 6 months while he was out of the country and rcvd no type of appreciation from him for it!? The hardest part though is that he is going through a hard time right now, but is ultimately selfish and loyal to his family, who is and will always be a priority before me or our relationship. Preceding the break-up, I "warned" him so to speak by telling him things like "I don't feel like we are in a relationship", "I need you to tell me you love me and show an interest in my life"...I tried negotiating how many times we should see each other in a week. I was NEVER needy wit him, I promise you that. In fact, I had previously been with controlling/insecure men (a few), so I was refreshed to be with a normal and in fact quite UN-jealous type of a man. Sometimes I feel I was un-fair breaking it off....he told me I cannot stand by him through hard times, and it makes me feel like going back and not breaking-up. My father and best friend assure me I did the right thing. I'm embarrassed to say, but for our entire relationship, he probably made plans with me 2-3x, and I repeatedly asked him to do that. IDK...it sucks because no matter what I do, I think of him...even the things that I am advised to do (or increase doing) in order to not think about it all the time. And if I am not thinking about it, it's literally for a few minutes only, yet even then it's in the back of my mind. I feel like crawling in my bed and going to sleep for the next 5 months. Winter is approaching here and certainly doesn't help anything... God help us.
Karen on September 28, 2012:
I can tell you this. I have dealt with a large number of deaths in my life of people very close to me including both my parents. Any NOTHING compares to the loss of heartbreak. WHY? as mentioned with death it is final..logically acceptance has to come quicker. Relationship breakdowns DO NOT get the support that people need. When some-one dies, people get all the support in the world, yet it is a quicker, hard pain, but relationship breakdowns without the right support can take years to heal. My point is more help and assistance should be out there in the world for relationship breakdowns and less support for death. Don't get me wrong, death is beyond tragic, but important relationship breakdowns can be down right agonising and cruel for years longer without the support in my opinion. The world should view, the loss of a loved one as more severe than a death. Eg...Demi Moore would not have looked like death for sooo long, if Ashton Kutcher had just died, she had to ensure a shocking pro-longed painful break-up. The world has a get over it attitude to relationship breakdowns, but they would never have that attitude if some-one died.
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Canaceart on September 10, 2012:
I broke up with my ex last december and i was going through all these stages right before the acceptance stage we got back together to try to make it work...big mistake...but we actually came to a mutual agreement and understanding and now we arent together and I am happier than ever I think it was manly because i was at the acceptance stage before we got back together and that what we had was no longer there. We check up on each other every once in awhile just to say hey but I notice that I have I some resentment towards the city we lived on and towards things that we caused us to break up along with things he liked and things we liked together. And I would eventually like to go back to that city to finish school but right now I don't see it happening I wanted some advice.
Blessing Arunaw on September 09, 2012:
I never knew people still have powers and make things happen in a twinkle of an eye. my name are Miss Blessing Arunaw, am from Russian. my boyfriend Teddy Harrow left me for another girl five months ago' ever since then my life have been filled with pains, sorrow and heart break because he was my first love who dis virgin me when i was 23 years old about four years ago. A friend of mine, Kate Garvin told me he saw some testimonies of this great Dr Mukulupakurumo that he can bring back my lover within some few days. i laugh it out and said i am not interested but because of the love my friend had for me, she consulted the great priest on my behalf and to my greatest suprise after four days my boyfriend called me for the very first time after five months that he is missing me badly and that he is so sorry for every thing he made me went through. i still can't believe it, because it just too real to be real.
Thank you Dr Mukulupakurumo for bringing back my lover and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf, for any one who might need the help of this great priest here is the email address: firstname.lastname@example.org From Blessing Arunaw Russian
Resy on September 06, 2012:
my name is wentney resy based in canada, i had a problem with my wife sometimes ago but never knew what the problem was,i tried to asked her but she refused to tell me what it was as time goes on i discovered she was having an affair with a friend of mine that happens to be my close friend back in college days,i was so sad that i never knew what to do next,during my search for a way out i met a friend of mine who had similar problem and introduced me to a man who helped him with his situation,on contacting this man through his email, i discoversd he was a spell caster i was shocked because i have not had anything to do with a spell caster in my entire life so i tried to give this man a chance cos i never believed in spell casting as i thought it will not work for me but to my surprise i got positive results and i was able to get my wife back from him even after the spell caster did all i discovered my wife fell much more in love with me on like before so i was so happy that i never know what to do for him so i am using this opportunity to tell anyone on this blog havin similar problem visit Vudoo spell and your problems shall be solved, his email is email@example.com…
from my blackerry verizone St. CANADA.
rymek on September 04, 2012:
My name is Mrs Rymek, and i live in canada.I have been through hell and pain,When my husband turned against our marriage,and sent me away,and said that he never wanted to see me again,because he was having an affair outside with another woman.I was finally confused,and so many thoughts came to my mind,when a friend finally advice me to go and visit a spell caster.And as i was searching for a spell caster to help, until i found the real and great spell caster firstname.lastname@example.org who helped me,and solved all my problems concerning my husband who left me since six months.and after that a friend also complained of her husband too,So i linked her up with the same spell caster who helped me too,and the problem was also solved by the same spell caster email@example.com . Whao!! the real and great spell caster is here,all you need to do now is to contact this same address whenever you are in any problem related to spell casting.It took me a very long period of time,before i could get this real and great spell caster.So right now Dr. Zuma is here,and the best for you to solve your problems that is bothering your mind..
Finally,thanks to firstname.lastname@example.org for bringing joy to my family...
Long live Dr. Zuma
sharon on September 03, 2012:
What would i have done if not for DR OPOPO,my name is SHARON, I am 27
years old and i have a son. Unfortunately almost a year ago his father
broke up with me because of a mistake I made and I just really want
him back. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I want
our family to be complete again, I want to spend the rest of my life
with him. I read online that you helped a girl in this situation and I
contact him for help. I grew up with my parents divorced and I don't
want that for my son and I miss my husband so much and just want our
family to be whole again I want the love of my life back and I can
honestly say that because he is the only man I have ever truly loved
with all my heart.So i seek help from
email@example.com and he responded to me and he cast
a love spell for me which i use in getting back my husband and i am
happy and grateful to him for helping me.
firstname.lastname@example.org the only through spell caster i
have ever known.
Shane on August 27, 2012:
The only relationship I've ever had ended almost 3 and a half years ago. This was a girl I met when I was 22 after never having had a girlfriend through my teenage years and really yearned for someone to love, so you can understand that throughout the whole relationship she was very precious to me and every day I wanted to be the best man for her I could be. To this day I have no idea why I let it end. It ended as a mutual breakup although she opened the conversation (she had actually suggested breaking up once or twice previously which I talked her out of - in hindsight maybe a selfish thing to do because I was so smitten)
Earlier this year I ran into her again and I asked her out again after not having really seen or talked to her for about three years. She declined, and later txted me to let me know she had a boyfriend ("I thought you should know"). I live alone, and spent the evening crying over the broken relationship for the first time ever.
Last week I randomly came across a facebook photo of her and her boyfriend looking very happy together. My head has been spinning for the whole week since, three days after seeing this I broke down and sobbed for about half and hour. She keeps entering my mind and every time I shed a few tears. I get the feeling that before I heard she was with someone else and had been "dealing with it fine" I was actually in denial for three and a half years, and have only just now progressed in the grieving process. Indeed, despite knowing how much I cherished and still love her, I've had experienced a lot of pain other than a bit of disappointment at being lonely again - this always confused me until now.
Now I'm a little scared, as I don't know what lies in store for me as far as the grieving process is. I don't know if this is something that is upsetting me for a short while, or if I'm going to be in this much pain for several years to come. I'm a conservative Christian in a town where there aren't a lot of female conservative Christians, and there aren't any single women in my church that are anywhere near my age. My ex-girlfriend goes to the only other church in my town that I consider compatible with the beliefs of my church, so going there would only expose me to more pain, and turning up there is something I don't want to do to her either. I still love her and at least just want her to be happy.
I don't know how long this is going to hurt for, nor how bad the pain is going to get. I don't hold a lot of hope for meeting anyone else either. I have no idea what I can do to help myself through this. I imagine if I tried to tell anyone that wouldn't understand and tell me "it's been a long time, get over it already".
Lilly on August 24, 2012:
Lilly, I wanted to take a minute to thank you for all of your work and effort. I requested a binding love spell and received the strengthen our relationship love spell as my free spell and within 3 days Sam was back and home with me and we are finally talking about marriage and kids! I cannot thank you enough for your spell casting services! I have already recommended two friends to you for help with their love lives!!! Those of you who need help should contact Dr. Monday via his email address: email@example.com
lucy on August 18, 2012:
In 2 words: THANK You Vudoo spell Master! It was a real pleasure to have this spell caster on vudoo spell master cast a spell for me. I liked his communication with me. Unlike most spellcasters, vudoo spell Master answered every single email I sent vudoo spell master. Unlike most spellcasters I contacted before vudoo master, I am 100% certain that vudoo spell master actually did the work I paid for. And unlike them, firstname.lastname@example.org brought back in my life the man I love. I am forever thankful! Lucy
Mr Luis Bright on August 14, 2012:
My name is Mr Luis Bright,i live in Mexico,and I’m happily married with a lovely wife and three children.I had a very big problem with my wife few months ago,to the extent that she even packed her things away from me and my kids for almost 5 months,and i tried all my possible best and effort to bring her back,but all to no avail.I discussed it with a very good friend of mine,and he gave me an advice concerning a spell caster,and i quote.“There’s someone who can handle your situation,he’s always ready and able to do anything related to spell casting,i will like you to contact him with his email,which is as follows.”AYELALA SHRINE”. I never believed in spell casting,but he convinced me and i had no choice than to follow his advice,because i never dreamt of loosing my lovely wife.And that’s how i contacted him with his email address,and i discussed with him and so surprisingly,he told me that I’ll get my wife back a day after.so i never believed,until when i got home,the next day,my wife called me to inform me that she was coming back…..So amazing!! That’s how i got my wife back through spell casting and our relationship was now stronger than how it was before.One of the price i was asked to pay was to tell it to people around me that problems like this,can always be solved by “AYELALA SHRINE”. So! my advice for you out there is to visit this same website,and tell him your problems too,if you are in any condition related to love issue or getting your ex back,to have a happy family.THANKS……email@example.com
louise on August 03, 2012:
However my belief for spells was not that strong. firstname.lastname@example.org worked like magic and made my faith so strong in that I got my love back so soon, it was hard for me to believe. I just so feel that those going through hard times in their relationship should give it a try and get the solution to your problem. - Louise
Carl on August 03, 2012:
I was heartbroken that my husband moved in with another woman so I had a spell to bring him back home and stop the affair he had with her. In just 2days he left her and went to live at the motel. He called to say so and get news of the kids. The discussion was pleasant, as if he was changing to become the man I knew when we got married. It was exactly as you said…. Now he’s back home and is absolutely crazy about me. I am so thrilled by this spell that I cant find the right words to say how I feel right now. All I can decently say is that you changed my life and saved the most important thing in my life: my family, way to contact my savior is email@example.com.
Mike on August 02, 2012:
My girlfriend has abandon me for the past year now, and refuse to come back because she was hold on by another guy whom she just met, for that, my self has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but i decide to do all means to make sure that my relationship come together as it use to be before, then i went online there i saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose email address is firstname.lastname@example.org, so i had to contact him and in just 5 days as he has promised me, my girlfriend came back to me and her behavior was back to the girl i knew before.I cant thank the spell caster enough, i am so grateful.I even spoke to the spell caster over the phone, to confirm his existence.His email again is email@example.com
cheney on August 01, 2012:
My name is cheney from uk. I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in February this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR.EGOGO he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is firstname.lastname@example.org
SweetiePie from Southern California, USA on July 27, 2012:
There are some people leaving spam messages on this hub pretending like they are people you should email for psychic services. I know because these same comments with the same IP keeps showing up on a particular hub I wrote. You might want to delete their comments.
Mr Luis Bright on July 27, 2012:
My name is Mr Luis Bright,i live in Mexico,and I’m happily married with a lovely wife and three children.I had a very big problem with my wife few months ago,to the extent that she even packed her things away from me and my kids for almost 5 months,and i tried all my possible best and effort to bring her back,but all to no avail.I discussed it with a very good friend of mine,and he gave me an advice concerning a spell caster,and i quote.“There’s someone who can handle your situation,he’s always ready and able to do anything related to spell casting,i will like you to contact him with his email,which is as follows.”AYELALA SHRINE”. I never believed in spell casting,but he convinced me and i had no choice than to follow his advice,because i never dream of loosing my lovely wife.And that’s how i contacted him with his email address,and i discussed with him and so surprisingly,he told me that I’ll get my wife back a day after.so i never believed,until when i got home,the next day,my wife called me to inform me that she was coming back…..So amazing!! That’s how i got my wife back through spell casting and our relationship was now stronger than how it was before.One of the price i was asked to pay was to tell it to people around me that problems like this,can always be solved by “AYELALA SHRINE”. So! my advice for you out there is to visit this same website,and tell him your problems too,if you are in any condition related to love issue or getting your ex back,to have a happy family.THANKS……email@example.com
docas on July 27, 2012:
I appreciate all you have done for myself and my family. My name is Sam and after contacting so many fake spell casters that only played with my heart you´d got what I wanted: my family back.
Your sincere kindness and thoughtfulness inspires me. You have touched my heart deeply and I will forever be grateful that you got rid of all the negative influences that surrounded my wife and I.
Now we are back and my son is very happy again, with his parents together...
Thanks Dr gbojoro! Post under a website at http://gbojoro.webs.com
All my gratefulness
Joan on July 22, 2012:
Thank you firstname.lastname@example.org for taking the time of bringing my man back to me. I went to 3 different spell casters, but only you got the job done. Like I said before I appreciate all your time, effort, and energy you put into the Back To Me Spell and Trust My Love Spell he is more open and he admitted he loves me and really want to be in a relationship with me. After 2 years of separation we are a couple ......Joan
Mr Luis Bright on July 22, 2012:
My name is Mr Luis Bright,i live in Mexico,and I’m happily married with a lovely wife and three children.I had a very big problem with my wife few months ago,to the extent that she even packed her things away from me and my kids for almost 5 months,and i tried all my possible best and effort to bring her back,but all to no avail.I discussed it with a very good friend of mine,and he gave me an advice concerning a spell caster,and i quote.“There’s someone who can handle your situation,he’s always ready and able to do anything related to spell casting,i will like you to contact him with his email,which is as follows.”AYELALA SHRINE”. I never believed in spell casting,but he convinced me and i had no choice than to follow his advice,because i never dreamt of loosing my lovely wife.And that’s how i contacted him with his email address,and i discussed with him and so surprisingly,he told me that I’ll get my wife back a day after.so i never believed,until when i got home,the next day,my wife called me to inform me that she was coming back…..So amazing!! That’s how i got my wife back through spell casting and our relationship was now stronger than how it was before.One of the price i was asked to pay was to tell it to people around me that problems like this,can always be solved by “AYELALA SHRINE”. So! my advice for you out there is to visit this same website,and tell him your problems too,if you are in any condition related to love issue or getting your ex back,to have a happy family.THANKS……email@example.com,
catherine on July 20, 2012:
whatever magic or spell used by firstname.lastname@example.org has helped to settle my marriage problem, all i can say is that my husband is no longer talking of divorcing me, he now says we have to move together to our new home next early month, Catherine Rosebank is
JULIETTE on July 19, 2012:
"I don't know how to thank you DR ANTOGAI, you truly came through for me when you with your love spell. I finally hit the lottery last month Friday thanks to your lottery spell and my man came back on Mother's Day. When I opened that door, I felt like I could have fainted when I saw him holding a bouquet of roses and wishing me Happy Mother's Day. I haven't seen him in 5 months and you did that love spell 5days ago. That is fast!..We talked a while and he came clean and told me about the other woman and he broke up with her. He really wants us to be together and he told me how much he misses me and wants to be with me.. thank you for your help email@example.com you are really the best.
sullivan on July 19, 2012:
I contacted prophetharry in regards of my lover. my lover stoped associating with me. He was interested in working out his marriage, after begging and pleading with him I realized it was out of my hands, he really was leaving me. I cant say how much I'm grateful across this spell caster firstname.lastname@example.org, After discussing the resolution with prophet, he said he will cast get your lover back spell and after the spell i saw what I never expected. My lover not only came back to me, but left his wife and now we are engaged, we are getting married next week, I don't know what I would have done without prophetharry.
Jay J on July 16, 2012:
Hello all, my world is pain for now. I choose to write this poem it has given me the courage to keep moving forward. There is no point in looking back or forward as we only live in the moment that we are in. When you release the thoughts of the past and future and live in the present you will find no pain. Silence the thoughts by living here and now. I hope you all find peace swiftly x
The Child in Darkness
Stop, this moment has been chosen
As part of the universe you have that right
Indeed the world is full of trickery
Do not allow this to be contained within you
Open your soul to the beauty that is forever intertwined within our world
Peace is asking for you
Life is asking for you
Energy wants you back
Difficulty and Sorrow want to keep you, to them say farewell. Thank you for the lessons
Strength has found its home safe within you
With this worlds wrongs and broken dreams
It is still a beautiful world
anonymous on July 14, 2012:
prof is professional spell caster who does his job so well
organized and highly functional overall sense of artistry and expertise. when I first found out about this spiritualist and testimonies about him, i found that his spell works was rare to see and that he is an expert in not only making magic spells, but making them available to others. if you are in a heartbreak and you need your lover back meet email@example.com and see how things will turn around
Violet on July 10, 2012:
Desperation must be a stage too since that is what all these frenzied SpellCasters are feeding off of! Stay away and hold onto your hard-earned cash!! The only way thru to true happiness is through taking personal responsibility and doing the intense emotional work to build self-esteem. Partner love will follow. That is what I tell myself anyway....still mixing in all the stages except acceptance of which I just get glimpses of now and then. Now it is 1 year after a 10 year relationship where I was left to wonder why. I am still reading sites such as this to help soothe the pain. Certainly, this is the most difficult ordeal I have ever endured. This article is helping me today. Thank you.
imi on July 07, 2012:
emily on July 02, 2012:
I have been in bondage ever since my ex leave for another woman, It was really hell for me and everybody told me to forget about him but i could not because i love him so much, Things get worse until my friend Gina introduced me to this great spell caster Dr. kamar and i contacted him through his email (firstname.lastname@example.org) i explain everything to him and he cast a spell for me immediately after three days, everything turn around and Paul come to me on his knee begging for forgiveness that i am the one and only woman in his life now. i was surprise i have never seen such a miracle in my life. I am so thankful to this man and i will forever publish his name email@example.com
jeremy on July 01, 2012:
My Name is JEREMY.I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our weeding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her facebook and she changed her facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..i lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 3 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too.This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him to GREATORACLETEMPLESOLUTION@LIVE.COM i cant give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck firstname.lastname@example.org
haas on June 30, 2012:
My husband and i have been married for 2 years with 2 children. i got pregnant when i was 19
and we decided to get married because we wanted our son to grow up in a home with a family.
and i wasnt mad because i loved him and i thought he loved me too. we have always had
problem since the beginning, always fighting for everything and he claims that i was the
problem. i admit i can be controlling and want everything my way or the high way. i am
embarrased to admit that this isnt the first time i try the love dare. all the other times i just give
up because it seems too hard! but most importantly i think its because i havent asked God for
direction and wisdom. unfortunately my husband said he is leaving. he says he has fallen out of
love with me and doesnt wanna do this anymore. because we got married so young he missed
out on alot and had most of the responsibility financially. and i wasnt exactly the supportive wife
i should have been. he considers himself that i am not the right person for him and he stoped
talking to me, he was my best and only love. ive tried convincing him that we should keep on
trying but his faith in anything and everything is long gone. well i thought and think on anything i
should do to make him realise the love i have for him and also for the childreen so i try seaching
for help on line then i found this powerful SPELL CASTER the email@example.com
how he has save and solve many marriage life,how he make them happy again,how he restored
back their lovely homes,then i contact him for help,i explained everything to him and he helped
me out with his spell casting kite and now with this help my husband is happilly with us again,i
am so suprise he has changed completely,he now plane with me now ohhhhhhh i am so happy
for this,the firstname.lastname@example.org realy save me from my pains and i am happy with his
spell casting.because the results are glorious! keep victory in your work.
hopelovea on June 28, 2012:
Hi My name is “Thomson” just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 5years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce… I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn’t want to loose her but everything just didn’t work out… she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster email@example.com who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used roots and herbs… Within 7 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child… I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need’s it… You can email him firstname.lastname@example.org... Don’t give up just yet, the different between “Ordinary” & “Extra-Ordinary” is the “Extra” so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it’s truly worth it.
lovesick on June 26, 2012:
My boyfriend broke up with me just yesterday, and I have been a mess! I couldn't stop crying today and now I feel all funny, I don't know what stage I'm on. I'm pretty sure its the depression stage except I feel numb. I have clinical depression but do you know how that affects the stages of grief? If anyone knows I would like to hear from them cause I'm kinda lost right now. :(
EN on June 24, 2012:
Everyone's story is the same as mine, everyones is different. We all share a common thread here and reading all the posts you realise that it happens differently for all of us.
I denied there was a problem and bargained and pleaded for it to be fixed. I blamed me, I could have been thinner, nicer, more compliant but this wouldn't have been me. He fell in love with me, he fell out of love with me.
My depression was all consuming and I reached the stage where perhaps suicide was the answer. I researched it, how to do it, what these feelings were, describe the feelings. Reaching my lowest point ever made me realise that the only way is up.
Forgive yourself and forgive the other person and acceptance will come hand in hand.
Reading these posts has helped me come to this conclusion. Read them all, the good and the bad. Come to your own conclusion, find your own help. In the end it is up to you.
rosseline on June 21, 2012:
I was in the depression stage for over a decade and I am now accepting. So. Good luck out there :)
Betrayed sheep on June 13, 2012:
I loved this man for a yr and a half and he met someone else and forgot about me. He just went on with his life as if I never existed. I have tried telling myself there is no way he could't love me to. I tried bargaining with him that maybe we should see other people but continue to see each other because I just wanted him in my life somehow. I tried just being his friend to the point where he almost lost the new girl and I told him how and what to do to get her back. How pathetic am I? I just want the pain to stop, I just want to stop thinking about him every minute of everyday. Now, he won't answer my calls or textes, so I am forced to find a way to let go and move on. HELP!!!
B on June 09, 2012:
This article helped alot... This is soo hard... I hate it soo much,,Im the one that broke up with him but I feel as though Im the only one going through all these stages .. :(
Lauran on June 05, 2012:
I am currently going thru a mess like you others. My husband of 28 yrs has asked for a seperation. Through my investigations I have discovered his indiscretions of protitutes and now a 24 yr. old girlfriend.maybe pregnant. He is 52.I have gone through denial and now am at anger. He is getting counselling because he feels like he is the "victim"...because I was gang raped at 13 and never dealt with it. We had a great sex life in the beginning but he now says after all these years that it is my fault our sex life has deteriorated over the yrs. Do I give up now?
terry on June 03, 2012:
Get your problem solve in A oracle Zabaza temple / shrine ...You can get the
bellow problems solve here.
1. Get your scam money back
2. Bring back lost lover, even if lost for a long time
3. Remove bad spells from homes, business & customer attraction etc.
4. Get promotion you have desired for a long time at work or in your career.
5. Read all your problems before you even mention them to him
6. Remove the black spot that keeps on taking your money away
7. Find out why you are not progressing in life and the solution
8. Eliminate in family fights
9. Ensure excellent school grades even for children with mental disabilities
10. Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart
11. I destroy and can send back the Nikolos if requested
12. We heal barrenness in women and disturbing menstruation
13. Get you marriage to the lover of your choice
14. Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage
15. Ensure success in work and business
16. Mental illness & bewitched
17. Can?t sleep at night or walking at night
18. Recover stolen property and whereabouts of people that hurt you.
19. Bring supernatural luck into
20. Extreme protection for those doing dangerous jobs like security guards, Bank
manager, cash transporters, etc.
READ UP CAREFULLY AND GET YOUR PROBLEM SOLVE:contact email@example.com
Daina on June 03, 2012:
I understand the article and everything it said. I am not able to cope at all and get through the anger stage and don't feel I will. My ex bf left me because his mommy said if he didn't dump me they would disown him. He will make 30 soon. I'm 51. We were both happy for the first time in our live. He left for work and dumped me over the phone, and never came back. Won't bring my stuff to me, (he had all of it at mommy's) won't answer phone or texts. No communication whatsoever. He knew my biggest fear was abandonment and that this would torture me. He had said recently "This is all my fault (the situation we were in, we were living at his parents' House, he had just gotten a job, and we didn't have money saved up to move out), and if it takes the rest of my life I will make this up to you." While crying, he said this, and dumped me soon afterwards. I hate this man (?) more than anyone ever. We were together almost 3 years. I stuck by him when he was between jobs. I cannot work due to back problems. His ex before me dumped HIM because he didn't have a job and had gained some weight. He is very bitter about HER, then did worse to me, because at least she told him to his face. It has been 1 month, and I'm not feeling one bit better about this at all. He's over at mommy's living it up, and I was dumped at my niece's house like a stray dog he couldn't take care of anymore, starving and doing without. Depression is not even close, more like suicidal. I'm not going to do anything stupid, I know he isn't worth it. My two kids and my niece hate him too. He won't talk to any of us. I don't ever see reaching acceptance, not ever. :(
salmon on May 31, 2012:
salmon on May 31, 2012:
Ming on May 31, 2012:
This is so true. Thank you so much for posting this. :)
SarahLund on May 27, 2012:
I've come to realise that while we're being told the five stages of grief, some of us are suicidal or unrepairable. Try being suicidal like i am when you've broken up with someone, and I can gaurantee nothing makes us snap out of the hurt. I can't sit here pretending that I'll be okay if I really don't feel it. We're not all the same. What about us suicidal people who find it way too cathartic? People never think about that though.
Andrew N on May 19, 2012:
hello friends I am a 39 yr old male that is lost and can use much friendly advice.I have been wih my wife for 3 years and dated for 4 yrs. for the first 4 yrs all was beautifull untill we got married all has changed . Ever scence we been married she puts me last . For instensce any time I try to get close, or talk with her , any kinde of contact with her , she tells me she is tired or right now she dont feel like talking about matters . Deep in my heart I really feel something is not right. It is just so hard to talk to this person , I was a player once before that had no problem geting the women that I wanted , But in GOD"S honest truth I was not married then and now have taken marrige to the heart I just cant help feeling how I feel. I just feel like I am geting played , Also keep in minde I make an ok income and my wife dose too but the only diffrence is my wife works as well she is an electreition and works with males 8 to 12 hrs a day , as well I am a diabetic who has gotten worse over time , the more I stress the worse Iget . People get a real inner feel and get back at me with some real info on the vibe you get on this,Thank you and God bless wish you all the best
kiar on May 19, 2012:
i can't believed i am going to be a mother, for the pass ten years of my marriage i couldn't give my lovely husband a child. i became so worry and felt i was being cursed, not untill i met a friend online by name Maureen Castwell, who adviced and introduced me to this great BISHOP JAKES by giving me his email address' ever since then my story changed, presently i am three months pregnant healthy and sound. i can't really thank you for making me going to be a mother very soon and wiping away my tears. you can get in touch with this great priest with this email address: firstname.lastname@example.org for more help, in life it pays to let known your problem because the solution might not just be too far away from you BISHOP JAKES , from GHANA
Clark Tamara on May 19, 2012:
I have been with my boyfriend for 1/2 yrs now. But he never said he loves me. One day I can't stand this anymore, then I asked him why he doesn't say "I love you" to me ever? His answer is he doesn't feel he loves me. He tried and thought he can develop love for me, but it doesn't seem working. Later, he even told me he doesn't know what he wants from me and from our relationship. Altho I am a greatest person, he can't love me, and I can't force him to love me. But the more I am with him, the more I fall in love with him. Just he doesn't feel the same way-still stays in the same stage as the beginning-likes me. How can I make him love me? I need "love" from my boyfriend. If there's no "love" in a relationship, it's a dead relationship. I went online for online spell casters and i saw this temple email@example.com who helped me to make him love me and come back to me if not for the help of Dr Ijebu i would have single till to day all thanks to firstname.lastname@example.org I am Clark Tamara
dors on May 19, 2012:
I lost my 10 years relationship during April. My ex left me with so much pains and since then i have been heart broken and shattered. I have contact 15 spell casters and 10 of them has rip me off my money without any result. I have Emailed so many sites online looking for a good spell caster till i was directed by a 16 years old girl to email@example.com with website:firstname.lastname@example.org At first i never believed him because he was requesting for some amount of money to buy items, it took him three weeks to convince me and something occur to mind and i said let me give him a trial.
I was very shocked when Robben called four days after i sent Dr,Vovola the items money. He apologies for all he has done wrong and i am very happy that we are together today because he proposed to me last night. I will advise you contact email@example.com because he has done wonders in my life and i believe he can help you out in any problem
Krystal on May 18, 2012:
I want to say thank you for this post, and I've seen and been where every one as well as the 5 stages have been. I am still struggling with truth and truth is with the toxic situation I was in we now have a child together. So I'm trying to get past the 5 stages again, because it's a whole new ball game anger, resentm,ent, now shame and frustration. When a child is involved it's a lifetime committment but it doesn't have to be a lifetime of frustration and pain cause you now have this constant reminder of what never was but a toxic relationship. i love my son to death he's 6mths and he is the best thing that ever came out of this messed up situation. So I continue to pray for you all and ask the same...this too shall pass!
kimora on May 17, 2012:
Hi My name is “kimora” just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 7years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that he filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me cause i loved him with all my heart and didn’t want to loose him but everything just didn’t work out… he moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used roots and herbs… Within 7 days he called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma he had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child… I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need’s it… You can email him on firstname.lastname@example.org get the spell caster’s contact… Don’t give up just yet, the different between “Ordinary” & “Extra-Ordinary” is the “Extra” so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it’s truly worth it. again his email contact is email@example.com
CC on May 16, 2012:
I was friends with hi for a year and a half before we got together. Even as friends, I knew he likes to manipulate people's feelings so that they do what he wants. He manipulated me into feeling guilty many times before and I knew he wasn't the man I was looking for. But my best friend got together with a guy I had a crush on and I was never going to get. He was recovering from his recent breakup with someone he had a long history with. So I started to go out with him.
It was my first real relationship. When I told my friends and family about him after a month, most of them told me they didn't like him. Some of my friends knew him from school, and warned me about being with him. I did break up with him because of that, but I also felt bad and ran back to beg for forgiveness the next day. It should've ended right there. But I was lonely and I don't like feeling Ive been unfair to him.
Then for the next year and a half, we broke up numerous times and got back together the same number of times. There was never a time we were officially broken up for more than 10 days. A year ago, I told my friends and family after a break up that we were done and I never updated them that we got back together again. It was just too much drama and stupidity on my part.
I was going inbetween denial, anger, bargaining and depression during all the breakups. It was a cycle. And when the depression got too much, I go back to him. It happened so many times. This time I had finally convinced my irrational self what my rational self always knew: we were not going anywhere together. It's been 6 days since I broke up with him. I'm deep in the depression stage again. I just walked by his house to see if his car was there so I knew what he was doing. I know I'm starting to get crazy and obsessive over this. I've been crying on and off since yesterday. But I will get through and I will reach The fifth stage. I copied and pasted the paragraph to remind myself how good it will be when I finally get there.
Please give me the stength to get through this. I dont have my friends and family to support me like some of you do, since they don't know that I was still involved with him.
MJ on May 16, 2012:
My story is unlike any that I have read here. In Feb. 2010 My dad was diagnosed with a fatal type of lung cancer. The average life expectancy was 4-6 months. I was going through a long drawn out divorce with an abusive drug addict. I had to take care of my dad on my own. I asked my estranged husband to take care of our family dog because I was gone about 10-12 hours a day. After 4 days of taking care of my dog he had her put to sleep. I was dating a man who I believed really loved me. When my dad was diagnosed I told him to go on with his life because my life was going to be all about taking care of my dad. He insisted on staying with me. He was there for me even up until my dad's wake. While my dad was ill I saw my boyfriend's attitude towards me change. He kept saying it was me who was imagining it. He would be there for me for the rest of our lives. When my dad passed away the boyfriend really got mean towards me. He started to call less, blame me for not calling him. He was at work and was not allowed personnel calls. He worked all hours of the day and night. Two years of this nonsense he called to say he wanted to go back to his life the way it was... working.......He never finished the sentence. I was dealing with the stages of grief from April of 2010 through today. When he left me I got no closure from him. I never got to say goodbye to my dog, my dad or the man I was in love with. I got to stage 1 with my dog. Then my dad I made it to stage 4. All at once. Then he broke up with me I'm still in stage 4 with my dog. I'm only in stage 1 with the man I love. The sadness I feel dealing with not being able to say goodbye to 3 things that were the most important things in my life. I took a lot of anger out on the boyfriend through text messages. I had to have a brain procedure done. I had an brain anurysm burst in 8/08. There were complications as of 6 weeks ago. The doctors said fluid started collecting in my brain. It caused me to fall a lot. I had 3 black eyes, was bruised all over my body from falls. The my cognitive thinking was impaired. That is when I sent the evil texts to the boyfriend. My ability to put a sentence together then got impaired, and finally my speech. I did get the excess fluid drained. I did leave a message on his voice mail while I was in the hospital after I read the cruel texts I sent him. I admitted I was wrong and said I was sorry. I got very angry with myself because I did not remember the texts until I read them in the hospital. I threw my phone across the room. I was angry with myself. I did get hysterical and started crying and carrying on so bad the doctor had me sedated and tied to the bed. I still have different stages of loss for each of the 3 losses I had in less than 1 1/2 years. It's very difficult dealing with the different stages all at once. It will be a long time for me to recover. I've been lost and alone since. My friends, siblings and boyfriend deserted me when I needed someone the most. I am disabled so there is no one who will even hire me so I can go to a job to help forget some of this constant pain and confusion I've been dealing with. Even if it's for a couple of hours a day. If I had money I would volunteer somewhere. I'm kind of in limbo. Have been since Sept. 2011. I do not know how to deal with this. I am afraid.
peter on May 14, 2012:
unbelievable...I am peter from the U.S,I met a girl that
meant a lot to me ..we shared a lot before finally
getting to settle down after we discovered we cant do
without ourselves..we have been married for a couple
of years now and blessed with a kid..i love this girl so
much and I will never deny that...she suddenly
developed a new feelings and she told me she want
out..i tried all my best to convince her to stay but she
said can't..A friend introduced me to a spell caster
that helped him recently..i don't believe in this but he
convinced me to give it a trial..the spell caster make
me realized that my wife has decided to leave cos a
spell has been used on her by the other man..he cast
a love spell for me and I could not believe my wife
came back begging after a very few days...you can
contact the spell caster on
firstname.lastname@example.org I am so sure he
is gonna help you with spell powers...
RealConception7 on May 14, 2012:
amazing hub. really helped me out. thank you.
15 Years Ago on May 12, 2012:
I'm 43, my marriage ended when I was 28. He left me for someone else and married her. The last time I seen him I was 29, to settle divorce, so he/they are not in my face and live many states away, but the memories are still there. I have never reached the last stage of acceptance(15years). I have tried dating but I'm too afraid of being hurt again. I was only married 7 years and we never had children, but I loved him more than anything "I loved him too much." I don't want to love someone that much again. I've had to learn to love myself, which was hard to do, and have become numb to any thought of a relationship again. This seems to work for me. Not ideal, but at least I get through months and weeks without feeling empty and sad. I've accepted that life is not a Hollywood Story ending "Happily ever after". I've learned to accept being single and quit hoping and looking, but I can't say I have learned to accept the past or what happened or what is happening(my husband living with another woman who he now calls his wife). So am numb to love. It took years for each of the 4 stages for me, not a weeks or months as some of you have said. About 3 year on denial and Anger and depression back and forth for about 10 years so maybe at 20 years I'll reach (5)acceptance? I doubt it.
Evelyn on May 08, 2012:
ive been through stages 1 to 4 for like over a year nd, 9 months it seems like im never gonna get over my ex, and whats not helping is that me and him still see eachother we r kinda like friends with benefits. I have feeelings for him still tho so that has made it even harder nd painful but I just cant admit the fact that this guy doesnt love me anymore nd I keep calling him nd texting him all the time:/ I honestly dont wanna be like this anymore. I feel like im trapped in a huge dark room wherr I cant find a light:(
Walker29 on May 07, 2012:
Help. I have been I love with a man for 5 years. He has been married for 7. Please don't judge. My father, his friend (30 yrs difference, but friends none the less) died in December. His wife threw him out of their house and filed for divorce on new years eve. He lived with me for a month, went home for a month, and she finally left for good. The divorce is on, and she has seemed to have moved on. We have been having an on again off again since december. Today he unleashed on me.telling me it's all my fault. The marriage was great before me, all that. I do not believe any of it. How long willhe anger stage last? Will he realize I am not to blame? We have been planning for this for easily 3 yrs, and now he says it's all my fault. I won't contact him, but I am scared. I really do love him. I cannot believe I lost my father and my love at one time. Will he get over this?
rita on May 05, 2012:
Thank you dr ogbe for your blog and interest in other peoples cases, believe me it helps a lot reading Your story and others too! I hope too he recognizes he needs professional help! Reading other stories depression appears to be something pretty common in English men as my husband therefore don’t take so seriously to get professional help you can contact him if you need a help he is a great spellcaster on email@example.com
Karla on May 05, 2012:
I'm in between depression and denial it's been two weeks sence I've seen my ex I can't seem to get out of bed all do is cry.
valentino on May 01, 2012:
my name is valentino from united kingdom i had a problem with my wife sometimes ago but never knew what the problem was,i tried to asked her but she refused to tell,me what it was as time goes on i discovered she was having an affair with a friend of mine that happens to be my best friend,i was so sad that i never knew what to do next,during my search for a way out i met a friend of mine who had similar problem and introduced me to a man who helped him with his situation,on getting to the man i discovered he was a spell caster i was shocked because i have not had anything to do with a spell caster in my entire life so i tried to give this man a chance cos i
never believed in spell casting as i thought it will not work for me but to my surprise i got positive results and i was able to get my wife back from him even after the spell caster did all i discovered my wife fell much more in love with me on like before so i was so happy that i never know what to do for him so i am using this opportunity to tell anyone on this blog having similar problem visit firstname.lastname@example.org,and your problems shall be solved……Good luck.
elizabeth on May 01, 2012:
I can totally relate to fhe denial stage right now. I broke up with my fiance yesterday and am in alot of pain. I knew somefhong was wrong i jjst didnf know what. It also didnt help that on certain weekends (we lived 2 hours away from each other) he would barely talk to me and just answer the phone wheneveer it was convenieng for him. Seriously. I vuess my thougbt was, if yojre crazy abouf the person and love fhem, you would wanf to talk to them every day. I just felt taken for granted. When he said id been gaining weigjt since he propsoed (i hadnt), that shook my confidence further. Sodry for fbe typos i have long nas and usinv a little keyboard. I wanted go commit to him, i wanted to be with him, but i coudlnt shake the feeling aomerhing was wrong. I didnt ljaten to my git onve and it ended in disaster. As much as my heart hurts it mever gets any better unless they change...whatever they do now oftwn gets worse lated
I have my own pecadillos and so ive gotta deal with myself and my issues and how i congributed to the problems. Im really grying but its hard not to feel defeated and like a complete loser necause things didnt work out. Sorry im droning on feel free to know that God does caer about you and your situation. I call on him evedy night and i think i might staft addind days too because i cant get on without him.
ll on May 01, 2012:
johnson on April 30, 2012:
email@example.com is the real deal. he is there for guidance and advice. I felt the tingle of all the spells cast and know that I will be back in my love's arms. I became a believer with the first response I received from Dr.Zack Balo. People need to become proactive in their situation by asking for him help.
hurly on April 26, 2012:
the freemercytemple id which i found really did the best for me,this temple cast a love spell for me after having a threatening divorce from my wife,i contacted this temple all he the did was a reading and after that my wife stop the divorce and now happily together
Diana M. Palau on April 24, 2012:
Thank you for enlightening me, it does help to understand the stages. I know that i have felt for a while that there was something wrong and that this was not going to last. However, i thought that we loved each other and would never think that a relationship would break up over an argument over the expense of toilet paper.
This is when I realized that something did not make sense. This was a way to make an excuse for an argument to start the break up process going. It is hard to deal with this my situation because he told me that he loves and would never leave me, not too long ago before the break up. I was imagining the changes in our relationship. I was not happy, with our sex life why because i knew that the emotions were not in it as it should be, like it was years ago when we first were together. I remember how things were before he was taken away by the police, we loved each other, but they came and took him away for something stupid that he did i was angered by it all and promised that i would never go back unfortunately he came out. The problem that kept hammering at me was that he was out an entire year, and never contacted me. i was involved with someone else, and loved him but we had financial issues that needed to be ironed out, of course when I saw him after 10 years, I had those feelings again. i broke up with my boyfriend prior and went back with him.
The problem we had was that we were having problems with sex. He claimed that he did not have it for so long that it was hard but time will cure all this. We finaly did have normal sex, but there was always something lacking he was satisfied and I wasnt. In spite of all that I loved him so much and enjoyed his company, but interacting was fine in the beginning, all of a sudden he wanted to be with his nephew alot, or his mother, i was studying for my Masters so I told instead of staying here and being bored just go visit your family while i work on my school work. I will make it upt to you once i complete my degree. I finally did, not as much as a wonderful, great fantastic intelligent women let me take you out to celebrate. Nope he made fun of me when i stated that we should go out and celebrate. the big thing was when i was with him visiting his parents one day on the elevator one of the nieghbors came in and said dont tell me you too got married? he said hell no!!! augh!!!! that was what ruined our relationship no man should ever deny his love to any women. It was like putting a knife in my chest. I was embarrassed because I was surrounded by people that i knew for years i lived in that complex for 10 years so i new most of the people that were on the elevator. i did bring it up and he said he loves me and was joking. There were things that kept happening. I was also sick, I was in the hospital a few days that summer, and was going to appointments after that, my cell phone was stolen while i was hospitalized the one thing that i really love was that he went with me to the emergency room when i was sick and stuck by me but after a while he changes. He complained about dinner, and home, and never did what i had asked him to do to paint our apartment i would help he just wanted to go to the same place back home to visit it was more and more. I finished school and yet i had to go there all the time. sex stopped for several months i had a wonderful birthday in October we went out and had a nice meal my son was with us like a family i loved it we walked around the city and even had a picture with all of us cartoon drawing. I had roses i love roses, he gave me money to get my nails done and my hair.... it was wonderful, but when I got home i was waiting for him to have sex with me the icing on the cake the one thing that would make my day special...the man to show me our love....that didnt happen that night infact i brought it up to our attention and all that happened was we did 2 weeks later...only because i mentioned it to him.... but it was once again so fast that i did not feel any satisfaction so knew once again something was not right. things went down hill by December a week before Christmas our relationship was over he started a lousy argument about toilet paper and the expense and it eskillated till the point where he walked out took a couple of bags and left. I did not expect it at all because he had gone shopping just the day before to buy me Christmas presents and he had bought two and was going to buy one more, and told me what he was going to buy my son. We were devistated me and my son... it is now 4 months I feeling better i cry because there are memories of some of the good times we shared, but i know that time heals all wounds its just taking so long.... thank you for the information
Romeo on April 22, 2012:
where is the love? why did she do that? why is she asking me to be her friend? why does she say that she cares about me, but she does not feel the same for me that she used to feel before?
I can't help to think about those questions when I think of her. I am in a mixed stage right now... I feel upset at her for changing her mind about what she wants, I feel sad for the frustration of a distance relationship, and for the dreams that I had with her...
Reading this article has made me feel better and helped me understand a little better myself.
Thank you Kathryn!
heartbroken on April 19, 2012:
I agree with all that is said about stages of mourning, but looking out into a happier future depends a lot on age, health and financial situation, employment etc. At the age of 53, with physical disability and lots of health problems including cancer; getting old, etc. it doesnt seem that looking at my future can bring me joy. My future tells me of loneliness, torturous old age and death. I am not in a physical /health situation that allows me to be as independent as I used to be or would like. I have to think how to be able to cope alone in a wheelchair....so, tell me, how happy can I see my future to be?
jimmy on April 17, 2012:
Finding this spiritual healer id firstname.lastname@example.org was a godsend. Even better, freemercytemple, you’re the most considerate and compassionate man I know. I was so down after being loveless for almost five years. I requested a love spell and, amazingly, it worked! Next week I will marry the greatest woman alive and I think it’s the real thing. To thank this spiritual healer, email@example.com , would not be enough, considering what you’ve done.
Leti on April 10, 2012:
Wow so its been about 5 days since my ex broke up and there were many people say that he was going to break up with me to go out with my one of my best friends and I kinda stopped liking him so as soon as my best friend finds out that we broke up they start going out.... I was really mad and sad at the same time. My ex and I would text each other and we would all ways get into fights and I ending up crying so we agreed that we would be just friends but I tell myself that I don't like him anymore but I have very small feelings for him. When I red this I was happy that I could understand this blog. I can finally get over him. Thanks so much :D
kali on April 10, 2012:
Greetings to every one that is reading this my testimony.
My boyfriend and i were seriousely in love for three years and we were planning to get marry but one day he came to my house and told
me he was no longer interested in our relationship simply because he
was dating another rich lady who promise to buy him a car and to sponsor their wedding. And i suffer heartbreak for five months and i was not tired of loving him.
One faithful day as i was browsing through the internet, i saw a testimony on how a spell caster helped some one name BROWN to get
back his wife after two years of lossing his wife because he was no longer having a job. through this Email...firstname.lastname@example.org
So i sent an email to email@example.com for help and suprisingly my boy friend came back with the help of the spell caster and was begging to come back. and now we are happily married.
His Email firstname.lastname@example.org
julie on April 04, 2012:
I am so sorry for doubting you. I should have know, you possess true powers when you accepted my case. I am now a believer of what you do and that there are powers we normal humans can not understand. All thanks to email@example.com for bringing my husband back to me!
jarrel on April 02, 2012:
I was a victim of this very problem that you have mentioned. But when my lover I dated for 2years left me for another lady, I met with a spell caster which I got his email on a blog and I contacted him. Today now my lover is back to me with work of the spell. He can still help you. His email is. firstname.lastname@example.org
Miss Nelly UK on March 31, 2012:
If you're having a tough time, have had your heart broken and/ or are feeling lost then please talk to friends, family, a counsellor, a priest, rant on a blog in order to deal with it, get it off your chest and get through it. Do NOT hand over your hard earned money to a spellcaster or anyone else who claims they can fix your life with a wave of a wand or placing crystals etc. Life can be hard sometimes but you need to find a way to get control back and feel whole again. Handing over control and your cash to another person might briefly make you feel better but ultimately you heal by taking responsibility for your own healing process. Health and happiness to one and all x
Alex on March 31, 2012:
I recently saw a testimony about a spell caster of some sort in a blog I visit for relationship and dating counseling problems because i had been having problems with my husband and we had been married for 10yrs and had three kids.Our mariage wasn't getting better and everything got extremely worse,he started hitting on me and the kids and was and was always drunk.We went for therapy but it would only get better for a few days and back again to the same routine,it got to a point that i had to move out and was about settling for a divorce and I just thought I should try it*maybe out of desperation of some sort*..and I contacted them..At first everything felt dreamy and unbelievable,their consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cos I heard read and heard lots of stories of fake spell casters,scams and never really believed in magic..I played along with a little hope and and faith and I was sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle,everything went to a while new direction,it was and is amazing....I did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for*my husband,my family and my life back*their address is; email@example.com or vist http://templeoflove1.webs.com/
Valerie on March 31, 2012:
“Dear Dr Gboco.(firstname.lastname@example.org), I hope you’ll publish my message! I want to testify the world how authentic you are. I can say from you 1st message that I felt much more confident with you than with any other caster. It’s obvious that you are not here only for money but truly to help people. I thank God I chose you to cast a spell for me. When I read all the bad reports about so many casters I was freaking out to send you so much money but now I don’t regret it a second! Henry gave me a phone call only 3 days after I finished the ceremony. Honestly, I wasn’t thinking it would have been so fast. I didn’t even recognize his voice, it was such a long time I talked to him for the last time! Only 1 week after the end of the spell we met up and we made love all night at his place. It was fantastic and emotionally it was even better than our very first date! Everything happened as you promised and I thank you for your sincerity. Much love.
Robert on March 31, 2012:
I'm Robert..I never thought i will ever again believed in Love Spells or voodoo because have been cheated by many spell casters out there who claimed they are powerful but they are just asshole who knows nothing but to cast fake spells. But not until when I read a post of a man on the internet some years ago, this post talk about a powerful spell caster, who can help with any kind of relationship problem. I contacted this man, and he proved how powerful he was to me through the result of the spell he cast for me. My wife broke up with me for no reason for almost 3 years and i tried all i could to have her back cos i really love her so much but all my effort did not work out.. we met at our early age at the college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 2 years with no kid and she woke up one morning and she told me she's going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when she came back from work she tender to me a divorce letter and she packed all her loads from my house..i ran mad and i tried all i could to have her back but all did not work out..i was lonely for months ...So when i told thespell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for her full name and her picture..i gave him that.. At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos have tried so manyspell casters and there is no solution...so when he finished with the readings,he got back to me that she's with a man and that man is the reason why she left me...Thespell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring her back.but i never believe all this...he told me i will see a positive result within 3 days..3 days later,she called me herself and came to me apologizing and she told me she will come back to me..I cant believe this,it was like a dream cos i never believe this will work out after trying manyspell casters and there is no solution..The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and my wife got pregnant a month later..we are now happy been together again and with lovely kid..Thisspell caster has really changed my life and i will forever thankful to him..he has helped many of my friends too with similar problem too and they are happy and thankful to him..This man is indeed the mostpowerful spell caster have ever experienced in life..Am Posting this to the forum in case there is anyone who has similar problem and still looking for a way out..you can reach him to his personal email email@example.com. good luck
twoparrotmom on March 30, 2012:
I recently went through a devastating breakup. I am attaching a note I sent to this man, along with this article. I am sharing this with hope that someone will understand and relate:
When one door closes, another opens...that is what I have always been told.
I recently met a lady who has become a friend. She is a total outside party and has been able to listen, objectively, to "our" story. Because I am not a religious person, she took me to visit a true Spiritualist....not a "religious" leader that preaches from a book, but a person who is able to teach me to connect my own spirit to whatever "spirits or higher power" that is out there.
I am starting new new journey in life, a blank slate. Right now, I am working on forgiving myself for the things I have done in my life that have put me in the place that I am now and making my list of things that are toxic to me...things that I need to remove from my life in order to become "me" again. As I'm sure you are aware, I have let go of the secrets that I have been holding for everyone, things that I have been holding inside of me to protect other people from hurting or being hurt. Things that were hurting me inside, to keep peace for everyone around me...but, took away the peace within myself. The things that I have been holding inside me were not "my things", they were belonged to other people that, for some reason, decided I needed to hold onto and hide their sins. These were all toxic to me, because they weren't mine...it is the time for the people who own these secrets, sins, and lies to become responsible for their own guilt, deceit, anger, and frustration. These were not just your secrets, your mothers secrets, but also my families secrets and my friends secrets. The only things that I am responsible for, are what is mine!
I am taking back the "me"...my power, my energy, my self esteem, my happiness and in doing that, I am leaving a lot of things behind and making the owners responsible for their actions. My next step, will be the hardest...I need to work on trying to forgive those who I have allowed to put me in the place I am in now. Not forgive the actions, not forgive and forget what has been done to me, but to just leave it in the past. The acts, I cannot forgive...hopefully, someday, that will come, but it is doubtful...eventually, I may be able to forgive the person. That will be a long and very hard journey.
I guess, I am between Stages 4 & 5...occasionally, I bounce back to Stage 2 and think about Stage 3 (but stage 3 will not be revisited, I feel like I did my part, but you were not willing to do yours...that, I give to you to deal with on your own). During the past few weeks, I have talked to a lot of people who knew "us"...what we were together. I also learned of deceit, lies, twisted stories, and twisted "relationships"...I learned the truth and it was the most painful part of this process...to know that the person I loved, the person I trusted, the person I believed in was never really the person I thought he was. What I saw as gentleness, kindness of heart, and a broken soul, was really just a mask worn by someone with much more pain and sickness than mine. I am a nurturing person and by trying to nurture and tune into that gentleness, kindness, and help heal that broken soul...I lost me. That pain and sickness was transferred to me and it almost killed me, several times.
I cannot change my past, but I can change my future...I can decide how to walk the path to my destiny, I can decide what I will accept and what I refuse to accept, I am learning to see the red flags that flash in my mind...the ones I ignored and thought love could repair. I do know, I am a good, decent, loving person, and I deserve much more than what I have been given. It is time to learn to love and repair me...