Red flags in relationships
Relationship red flags can be seen when a man tests you when he uses some phrases or words that are not pleasing to the ear and you entertain them by being quiet and take them as jokes.
When a man realizes that a woman is so into him to an extent that when he does something wrong, she doesn't question him or find the reasons behind his behaviour, he is likely to show her disrespect in any way that he wishes. There is smoke before fire.
Some red flags to know as a woman include:
1) He makes little comments about you
He is in the house talking and chatting with you. You are both having fun in the house. Suddenly he asks you to get him something from the kitchen or bedroom. A loving man will ask his girl/ lady for something in a polite manner and respectful way. e.g." excuse me love/baby/ sweety/ honey darling/dear or any sweet pet name,would you mind and get me a glass of water from the kitchen?" In stead, he will be rude to you and command you, " hey! get your stupid self up and get me a glass of water from the kitchen!" you should not take this lightly as a joke. A real man will always talk in a respectful way to his woman. Am not saying that you should be offended by any little thing but when a man passes the limits of respect, you should know when to take a joke serious or allow your man to disrespect you.
2) His gratification turns into expectations
When you do something good to your man ,he should be greatful for having a loving and caring lady in his life. Buying him a new shirt,shoes, belt perfume or anything nice to make him feel loved is one way of showing affection. But when your man is always the one on the receiving end while all you do is to give, give and give all the time untill he stops saying thanks to you, is a point when you will realize that he expects you to be doing all that. Like it is your duty to do them .He expects you to do that whether you have money or not.
Relationship should be a two way traffic. We should be giving and receiving together not one overdoing the giving as the other receives. The man's expectations should not be that he blames you for not being satisfied.
3)Whenever he does something wrong he doesn't apologise.
When we wrong others , it's good to apologise. When a man is not willing to say sorry even when he knows that he has done something wrong to you, this is another red flag. He just wants to say what he thinks he is supposed to say to you.
When a man realizes that you put up with anything, he will be there doing different tests to see how you react. When he is able to prove that you can put up with anything, he is going to manipulate you in any way he feels good.
4)He flirts with other women
It's not wrong to have female friends. But when your man flirts with other women especially in social media and infront of you as if you don't exist, this is another red flag showing that he does not respect your relationship anymore and your feelings.
A real man will never disrespect his woman no matter what. He will never hurt her feelings by living in other women's demands.
5) He cheats on you
Cheating is not a physical thing where two people are involved. It can be emotional and psychological as well. When your man starts giving other women attention more than you, this is not right. You will end up dancing to the rhythm of love on your own. So when a man cheats on you, you should not entertain such and be ok with it.
6) Refuse to make your relationship public
All relationships should be made public especially when two people love each other. I mean, who in the world would never want people to know that they love one another. When your man is not willing to make your relationship public, you should be careful to know where he is placing you in his life. As much as you may want people to know about the two of you, why would someone who claims to love you not want you to be known by his friends, family members and relatives? Your relationship should be made public including the social media unless you have agreed to make it private.
7) He wants to keep you to himself
When you first met, the man found you with your family and friends. The moment you started dating, he doesn't want them close to you. He is selfish to the point that he doesn't want you to associate with your close ones again. This is wrong and he should not treat you as his toy for wanting you only to himself.
8) He is insecure
An insecure partner will never want his love leaving his side. Whenever you are out of his site, the only thing he can do every now and then is to call you frequently. I am not saying it is wrong to call you and check up on you all the time. Whe it becomes too frequently to a point that you feeling you are being spied on, then ask yourself if the relationship is a healthy one.
9) He keeps on talking about his ex
An ex is a pas. How did you meet your partner?where and how? These questions play important roles in the foundation of a relationship. The moment you realise that your partner is still in contact with the ex, this should be questionable. He should realize that the woman was once in his life and that it should be over between them. Each time he keeps the communication still on and talk about her all the time can be a red indication that they didn't get over each other or he still wants to go back there. He should ask himself what if you were the one doing the same to him .
10) He is demanding and controlling
A demanding and controlling man will never allow his woman to express herself.He will always tell you what to do and how he wants it done without asking for your opinion. Everyone should be allowed to express their thoughts before a right decision is made.
Watch out for the above red flags in a relationship. If you have any idea or information or question to ask about red flags in relationships, feel free.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Millicent Okello
Millicent Okello (author) from Nairobi, Kenya on July 07, 2020:
Actually, it's so unfortunate that ladies suffer in silence and never tslk about it even after seeing the signs.
Marissa from Nigeria on July 07, 2020:
This is what most ladies should look out for but it is such a shame that they still stick around even when the signs are all over their faces.
Key point- "Never stay with a man that doesn't respect you"
Millicent Okello (author) from Nairobi, Kenya on July 07, 2020:
Dashingscorpio you never seize to amaze me. The relationship between the poem and the real article. Oscar Wilde a great writer saw it all even when we were blind to it.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on July 07, 2020:
It's not about (him) it's always about (you).
Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
Can't nobody ride your back unless (you) bend over.
We are always where we choose to be.
When (we) change our circumstances change.
No one is "stuck" with anyone! Suffering is optional.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde