When it comes to imagining ideal boyfriends, you should reach for the stars- or better yet, Star Wars! The universe's most eligible bachelors hail from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
You might think that the most datable personages from Star Wars would be bounty hunters (to be sure, Boba Fett is quite a catch, but more on that later), or perhaps Jedi, but you are quaintly mistaken. The best potential boyfriends of them all are Stormtroopers. I'll give you six reasons why.
You've Got to Love a Man in Uniform
There is a classic, timeless allure of a man in a uniform. Military uniforms especially have a legacy of good design and admirable functionality.
In the Star Wars universe, there a many, many uniforms, but Stormtrooper suits trump them all. Inspired by the sketches of conceptual designer Ralph McQuarrie and produced by Production Designer John Barry and Costume Designer John Mollo with the help of George Lucas, these shiny, white, form-fitting plastic stormtrooper costumes are by far the coolest garments to make it to the series. They are bold, crisp, and make satisfying clicking sounds when in movement. What's more, Stormtrooper helmets are the only pieces of headgear that come CLOSE to the ever-honorable Vader mask.
If He Can Wear a Stormtrooper Costume, He's Probably Svelte
First: svelte is a brilliant word. Second: anyone (successfully) wearing a Stormtrooper suit must be so. The Stormtrooper outfit is a rather form-fitting one, and there's not really anywhere to hide a wanting form. Contrast that to Jedi robes and you'll see one of the major advantages of opting for a Stormtrooper date over a Jedi plus one.
Stormtrooper Costumes are the Male Equivalent of High Heels
Though they highlight the leg, add lift, and (if walked in properly) look quite elegant, high heels undoubtedly limit a woman's ability to move. Perhaps that is part of the reason why they are considered to be sexy.
If vulnerability can be seen as a sexy attribute, one can easily see that Stormtrooper suits offer the same benefits. Stormtrooper uniforms, after all, limit movement, are very easy to spot (making the wearers easy targets), and appear to offer little protection from blaster fire. Most importantly, as the Stormtrooper helmet limits one's peripheral vision, your Stormtrooper hubby will only have eyes for YOU.
Of course, one does not want a wimpy date, but that is not an issue with Stormtroopers, who are obviously trained in combat, armed, and clad in armor (albeit a bit flawed) of a most manly fashion.
He's in Good Company
Obviously everyone loves Boba Fett. But there's a problem with that - Boba Fett is only one man. There's only so much Boba to go around.
But here's the thing - Boba Fett is a clone of Jango Fett. And Stormtroopers are clones of Jango Fett. Ergo.... WIN.
What I'm trying to say is that Stormtroopers are of the same ilk, and obviously this is awesome ilk. What's more, if a girl gets dumped by one Stormtrooper, she can rest assured that there are plenty more exact copies where that came from! Boy, if that isn't ideal, I don't know what is.
Who Doesn't Want to Date the Bad Boy?
It is well understood that the bad boys get all the girls. I mean, gosh golly, they're so dern exciting!
When compared to drinking, smoking, leather jacket-wearing high school miscreants, Stormtroopers are infinitely superior. For the love of god, they fight for the DARK SIDE. What is more badass than that?
You might retort that the high school equivalent of a man in a Stormtrooper costume is an awkward geek, but that argument isn't even valid. Geeks are the new heroes. Everyone wants to be a geek or nerd. Get with the times.
Indeed, Stormtroopers offer the best of all worlds when it comes to eligible bad boy bachelors. They're bad; there's no doubt about that, but they're also not the type to turn into total deadbeats (that is, unless they get shot or otherwise maimed by a Jedi... or Vader... or...). Stormtroopers are disciplined. Respectable. Coordinated. And genetically designed for perfection.
It Could Be Han Solo in There!
Perhaps you're like "bitch, please, I don't date clones." Or maybe you have an issue for guys who have joined with the dark side. But might I remind you that many a good guy has, in his time, disguised himself in Stormtrooper duds? Including the one and only Han Solo? I need say no more.
Even if it isn't Han Solo hiding behind that Stormtrooper mask, can you not deny the allure of the mystery? Who knows who is behind the mask? It could be anyone! Many a girl has fallen for the mysterious man who hides behind a mask of mystery and honor. In the case of Stormtroopers, this mask is quite literal. Plus it's shiny. Bonus!!
I suppose the only downside to dating a Stormtrooper is that they're rather hard to come by (either they're from a land far, far away or they're worn by the few who can afford rather costly Stormtooper costumes).
On that note, happy hunting girls! May the Force be with you.
Sean Crockett on June 15, 2017:
Yea yea yea
Everyone wants a storm trooper or TKs but what about the ones who can actually the TIE Pilots or TIs. Everyone loves a pilot
But fun read
Kk von kk on June 15, 2017:
Storm troopers are not clones
TK EXPERT on June 14, 2017:
I hate to point this out but I must. Clones troopers are clones of jango fett. Storm troopers are individual people. (Pushes glasses up nose and sniffs)
Jason York on June 14, 2017:
What about us poor Darth Vaders?
TS4878 - UK on June 17, 2015:
stormtroopers may be clean but we know how to polish a helmet :P
Fernando on June 17, 2015:
Future Stormtrooper here and hubby cannot agree more...I am a member of the 501st UKG :-)))))
Phoebe Isabella on June 17, 2015:
Hey what about an article about dating a female Sandtrooper? We have larger weapons and are way dirtier than Stormtroopers ;) TD-2441 UK Garrison at your service..........
email@example.com on June 16, 2015:
"But here's the thing - Boba Fett is a clone of Jango Fett. And Stormtroopers are clones of Jango Fett. Ergo.... WIN."
So much fail.
Keltten on June 16, 2015:
Sorry StormTroopers are not clones.
Julie on June 15, 2013:
Not every man in the suit is single..please remember that.
Ben on June 15, 2013:
Plus many guys in stormtrooper armour are 501st legion charity workers....I hope my suit gets approval when it's done. I know my disabled little girl loves it,she can't stop looking at it on the mannequin. Priceless
Michelle Dee from Charlotte, NC on April 05, 2013:
I love this hub, and I love the first photo because you couldn't have chosen a better pic for this hub, and I love men in uniform. Voted up and across!
TK7642 on September 14, 2012:
Being a Stormtrooper myself I'd just like to say......... Thank You :)
SPL on September 13, 2012:
Great article and I can't agree more, my wife can attest to these facts. Looks like the whole clone/not clones thing has already been pointed out :)
TK-421 on September 12, 2012:
Brian Muir sculpted the armor. Just putting facts straight.
Anna on September 12, 2012:
I want to marry a Stormtrooper. I met the hottest Stormtrooper at Wizard World last year in Chicago. He took his helmet off and I was in love!!! I wish I had the guts to get his phone number. Someday!!!
D on September 12, 2012:
You forgot the part where we make sick kids smile.
Gina TK1548 on September 12, 2012:
You do have to be careful though. Some of us are not guys under that armor. ;)
SWM on September 12, 2012:
To bad STORMtroopers were not cloned like CLONEtrooper were.
James Holliday from Edmonds, Washington on September 12, 2012:
I guess I win then.... I have a screen accurate Boba Fett AND stormtrooper!
BH-2950 / TK 2950 = 501st Legion
Raphaela on September 12, 2012:
What about Biker Scouts ?
caroletrooper on September 12, 2012:
LOl, I am a female trooper so girls beware it's actually a bloke in that armour!!!!! PLEASE????
Mike on September 12, 2012:
Not all Stormtroopers are clones...
Joe on September 12, 2012:
And for what its worth, the stormtrooper costume shown for sale is NOT 501st Legion approvable. Its very crappy quality.
Chryse on September 12, 2012:
What a fun read. :)
If you wanted to add a Reason #7, you could also say that Stormtroopers also have a lot of heart. Chances are that any you run into these days are with the 501st Legion (www.501st.com), an international Star Wars costuming organization whose primary mission is to lend its visibility to charitable efforts helping kids and families worldwide. They are a great bunch of guys and gals, and I am a retired member myself. :)
Paul on September 12, 2012:
Storm Troopers: Star Wars answer to the Star Trek Red Shirts...
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on December 09, 2011:
It ain't just you, leroy64. I just bought one. True story.
But DOCTOR WHO IS AMAZING!!!!
Brian L. Powell from Dallas, Texas (Oak Cliff) on December 09, 2011:
Now I have to go buy a Stormtrooper suit; but, that is just not me. Darth Vader is more my style, although I look more like Dark Helmet from Space Balls. I think I will stick with Dr. Who.
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on December 09, 2011:
Hahaa, EXCACTLY, Ercolano! Glad to hear that you're cool with those of the geeky persuasion :D
Sam Walker on November 22, 2011:
What a wonderfully unexpected and quirky hub. Loved it. And you're right the geeks are the new super-heroes (thanks cast of The Big Bang Theory). Not that I look like a geek or anything myself, but I've always been a tad closeted that way, and I do love to be in the company of geeks. And yes, as long as the guy doesn't take it off, who cares what he'll look like, after all, it's what's on the outside that matters.
steve on November 04, 2011:
and in fact here in hawaii everyone loves stormtroopers (in one of the stormtroopers)
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on April 21, 2011:
Oh, but of COURSE.
Mrs. Menagerie from The Zoo on April 20, 2011:
...and every guy's butt looks fantastic in a big white plastic suit.
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on April 19, 2011:
Me too T___T
Garrett Mickley from Jupiter, Florida on April 19, 2011:
I wish I had a stormtrooper suit.
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on April 15, 2011:
Heheee yay!!! Thanks!!
Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on April 14, 2011:
As a long time Star Trec fan...LOVED THIS HUB! Cheers for the stormtroopers whereever they may be traveling at this time. Haha!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on March 23, 2011:
LOL true that! And Han Solo will just stay Han Solo in my world. I daresay it's best that way.. hahahaa ^_^;;;;;
cheapsk8chick on March 23, 2011:
Great article! And the stormtroopers always look good - Han Solo is looking a little less than fresh these days!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on March 22, 2011:
Thanks for stopping by Words from Jan and Hyphenbird! One could CERTAINLY do much worse than to date a Stormtrooper ;]
Brenda Barnes from America-Broken But Still Beautiful on March 22, 2011:
This is such fun! It is an easy read and the pictures are wonderful.
And I certainly have dated less worthy "men".
Words from Jan from Near Albany, NY on March 22, 2011:
Great article ... fun to read and some not too shabby observations in there either.