Anamika S. Jain has been a social media consultant for six years. She has written more than 200 articles on relationships and dating.
Celibate Marriage - Reasons for Staying in Sexless Marriages
A sexless marriage is a marriage in which little or no intimacy occurs between the two partners. Many couples may not admit it openly but if surveys have to be believed over 30% of the marriages are sexless. While sex is said to increase the bond between couples many couples are perfectly okay without it. Some times both the partners may not be interested in being intimate. But if one partner longs for intimacy and the other do not then it can lead the other to cheat on the spouse or have a miserable condition which involves feelings of rejection, frustration and confusion.
A celibate relationship can be a happy one too though it needs more work than a normal relationship. If the love is strong between the couples then even such a marriage would survive.
Is it worth staying in Sexless Relationships
or relationships may develop over time gradually. There can be several reasons
why people may stay in a Sexless Marriage or Relationship.
- Either one or both the partners are under tremendous stress which can be a mood killer for intimacy.
- You are aware that your spouse is cheating on you so keep away from him/her though you may stay together.
- Not everyone is sex crazy or may have huge appetites. Low level of sexual desire or lack of vitality can be a common cause of such marriage.
- Your Partner may withdraw your sexual privileges because of fights or arguments as an attempt to punish you.
- Busy schedule of either one or both of the partners also may result in a sexless marriage.
- Post pregnancy issues.
- Sometime abuse or rape can result in denying sex to spouse.
- The spouse is away from you due to job or other commitments.
- After a few years of marriage Sex has become a boring routine where one or both of the spouses may lose sexual desire towards his or her companion and the passion that once existed between the couples is no longer there.
- Sometimes Marriage is solely done for legal purposes, tax benefits or acquiring resident status like Green Cards maybe just an arrangement.
- Sometimes attraction towards the same sex can cause couples to ignore their spouses.
- Feeling physically unattractive or fear of inability to satisfy the partner can result in denying sex to the spouse.
- Diseases or medical conditions like Aids or erectile dysfunction may keep a partner away from spouse.
- Sometimes couples may have what may be termed an Open Marriage where even if they may not be having sex with own partners may be having it outside marriage.
What ever the reasons are many couples prefer to stay in the marriage than opt out of it because of children, financial reasons, society, legal or religious reasons etc. Many may agree that it takes tremendous courage to get out of a relationship even if they are not happy continuing in a sexless marriage. Instead they may prefer to cheat on the partner and keep the marriage on. Some guys even find it cheaper to keep the marriage than paying huge maintenance. But for majority of couples they prefer not to opt out of marriage just because it is a sexless marriage as some things are just worth more.
However, one cannot deny the fact that intimacy can make couples to be closer. If you wish to rectify your sexless marriage you need to talk to your partner about it, understand what caused your relationship to get to where it is today and take steps to make it better.
Ruchi Urvashi from Singapore on August 17, 2012:
Great ideas presented in this article. It was a great read to understand about sexless marriages and the most common causes.
Clancy2012 on August 09, 2012:
I am a healthy 42 yr old male, with my partner 14 years, 2 kids. 6 years ago she told me sex was no longer an interest to her and i needed to learn to deal with that. I went to counselling, figured out it was not my fault we found ourselves at this juncture in life. She has no interest in fixing this, she has made her choice. The dilemma is I just love the intimacy of being with a woman I love, who loves me back. If I leave to find someone, I will have to maintain the current home and provided everything for her and my kids, which I would do anyway, but cant afford to go, not enough money left each month to pay for a small place for me. I own the family home, worked hard for it and bought everything in it. I would do anything for them, but is it fair to expect me at 42 to give up on sex / intimacy? I am not dead yet, still must be attractive as women make passes which I turn down, but sometimes, jeez, the temptation is almost unbearable. I am becoming depressed over it, and am getting very frustrated. Is it greedy to want / need a pair of loving arms around me each night, someone to share a loving intimate relationship with?Should I stay and accept this, or say to hell with it and leave and hope the new me finds a way to keep my family in the lifestyle they have become accustomed to?
Rick on May 30, 2012:
Married 31 years, many happy! It was me, the man who did not want to have sex. We had great passion at the beginning, but the last ten years we had sex maybe once a month. Whether it was depression meds, alcohol, or other reasons, I opted for divorce instead of her feeling unfulfilled and me being pressured for sex! I hope she finds her equal and us happy. I hope she understands that I made the decision for both if us! Why stay in a marriage if you are not happy! I still care about her but not for her! I want us both to be happy!
KCjones on May 29, 2012:
In many ways, its similar to a person staying in a bad job. People are too afraid to move on. Add to this the complication of shared finances, children, family expectations, etc and the picture becomes clearer. My advice is to set expectations for a remedy or leave the relationship. Understand that the relationship in its current state will ultimately end anyway, so give your spouse an ultimatum to seek help or prepare to live alone. Its better to be alone, then feel lonely.
ANNA on April 04, 2012:
My husband and I hadn't had sex, love, intimacy in 45 years. I believe my husband deceived into this marriage knowing all along that he was not going to love me or have any respect me. That being said were still together but were totally on different levels. First of all there is no communication he lives his life in the basement and I have the upstairs. He has worked every day for 40 plus years on the midmight shift. I work part time during the day. He lives a very lonely life with no friends, phone, Tv or computer. I on the other hand have the only phone, and computer. He looks like Howard Huges without the long nails and I always dress the best I can. We are just totally two different people who live in the same house. Why do we stay together, security, money and benefits, house is never enpty. Were more like apartment dewellers.
SoUnhappyHer on March 31, 2012:
I really feel for all of you that are in a sexless marriage and not know what to do to make things better. My husband and I have been married for 9 years, no sex for the last 4 years or so. We both worked full time but this should not be an excuse for lack of intimacy. Resentment is a killer in any relationship/ marriage. After many years of me begging and my husband kept on rejecting, I decided to get a divorce. The whole point is not to go find attractive men to sleep with after divorce, but to be myself again. The damage that has been done in this marriage turned me into a completely different person. It killed my self-confidence, the feeling of being worthless runs deep. Though I am told to be a very attractive woman by others and I do take care of myself regardless our sexless marriage, still my husband does not seem to care for sex at all. He said he loves me, but if so... wouldn't he try to make me happy every once in a while? I'd probably stay if I get at least once a year but that's not the case. I have expressed my concern about this long time ago, then again, and again, then I finally give up. Maybe some people just have zero sex drive but it is definitely not ok with me. If, he was in a car accident and was paralyzed from waist down, I can understand and be accepting to be in the sexless marriage. What he was doing is very hurtful and it will take a lifetime for me to heal. Everybody is entitled to have their opinion and follow whatever they believe is right. But if you ask me, shall you had done everything in your power to talk through the situations and nothing works, leave that person. Staying together in unfulfilling marriage/ relationship for the children is very noble, but in the end they will see how unhappy you are (unless you're a really good actor/ actress), and they too become a victim. They pick up on signals even though you are not throwing things or yelling at each other. Eventually, everybody gets hurt. And you, the ones that are neglegted, deserve better. I believe that sexual compatibility is very important in any marriage/ relationship.If the sex is acceptable, then almost everything else can be justified or talked through. If the sex is not ok, then everything else will start falling apart. What I meant by sexual compatibility is nearly equal amount of sexual desires by the way. If you're both happy not having any, well that's great... in that case stay together. Otherwise, leave. Life is too short to be miserable. And trust me, the longer you waited and resent, the harder it's going to be to get out. Don't let your spouse/ partner get to the point of convincing you that you are worthless or unattractive. Once your self-confidence is destroyed, it will be very difficult to regain it and finding strength to get out will be near impossible. I speak from experience and I am leaving this messed up marriage. Another thing I'd like to point out is: if you're in a sexless marriage, then most likely there are already thousands of things that went wrong in your relationship... be it triggered by lack of sex or what triggered the lack of sex. Being in a relationship should not be a one person responsibility. If one keeps on trying to save the relationship and the other shuts down or not trying, again... leave! Save yourselves while you can.
Lonely One on March 06, 2012:
Married for 30 years, no sex, no kissing, no communication for the past 15 years. I cannot remember what the sex was like. I am so lonely, I need out of the relationship. I don't even consider it a marriage (although legally it is).
Ronald on February 10, 2012:
My wife and I have had a sexless marriage for almost 12 years now. It's the best thing that ever happened!!! We are best friends, companions, and soul mates. No more stress over stupid, silly stuff. I feel wonderful having someone who truly understands me as a person, and she feels the same. Loving it and living it.
Lex on February 05, 2012:
I share your feelings CareBee. I don't know why it happens that our spouses doesn't want sex any longer. The only conclution I came up with is that most spouses that doesn't what to have sex any longer aren't really communicating what is really on their minds. If they don't really tell us what the issue/s is/are there is nothing we can do to fix it. It maybe that they secrectly hope we get so frustraded that we just leave them. I don't know and it seems nobody really know why it happens and how to fix it. Maybe this is just one of the misforuns we face of starting to have sex at an early stage and having multiple partness. I think the big question is will the next marriage be any better.
CareBee on January 19, 2012:
I have been in a sexless (for me) relationship for a bit over 5 years now. To be fair tho, we were basically 'friends with benefits... to him' for the first 3 years. We have never slept together but he has gotten everything else off of me, yet I have never so much as had him touch my boob. Its not that I don't want to, its that he doesn't want to. 2 years ago it was because he wasn't attracted to me (tho he was enough to get oral from me often) as i was overweight. Tho technically I was only overweight because i had been comfort eating for past 3 years as he still had not touched me in that time.
Long story short, I lost all the weight. I would even go so far as to say I look pretty damn good. Hell, I would do me now lol. But now he says its because of my attitude. We fight about the lack of intimacy or sexual attention he gives me. Lack is a fairly nice word for non-existent imo. So either way he sees it, its my fault.
He suggested I seek sexual attention elsewhere as he is simply unable to provide that for me, whatsoever $6 for whatever reason. He just doesn't feel sexual towards me. I chose not to, as that just isn't my style. I cant be having sex with one person and developing strong feelings for another. I just cant split my emotional attention that way. So I told him no on having other partners and he was fine with that, as the notion was simply to keep me happy and not for him to find tail elsewhere.
At first, the sexless relationship helped strengthen our relationship. We found new novel ways to keep a spark. Went out and did lots of shows, nice dinners, wineries and things of the like. A year and a half of 3rd date quality dating and for the first time ever, I honestly wanted to just make love to someone, not just someone, him. And that is where it stayed, making me so very very incredibly miserable for over a year. Its one thing to have your sexual, carnal desire for someone to go unfulfilled, its another to have your desire to make real love to someone go unfulfilled.... and completely ignored. It hurts.
I am currently struggling with how i even refer to the way i love him. Do I use love in a past or present tense now? I dnt know. I do have love for him, but without the sex and intimacy, i can no longer be IN love with him. We are like really good friends who sometimes kiss good night and that is not a marriage i feel i want to be in. I want and need passion, not to mention the bound that a good dose of oxytocin can give a couple.
I am at the point where I am willing to take up his offer (from 2 years ago) of me having outside relationships to satisfy my sexual needs. However, that just makes me aware that in the past i couldn't bring myself to do so simply because i was in love with him. Now that I can bring myself to do so, does this mean i am no longer in the same frame/scope of love? I told him before that me having sex with other people would keep me from being able to be 100% in love with him. That at best I could do ^0-70% under those conditions. I see now, either condition would have led to my 60% in love status, simply because sex has nothing to do with it for me. Its about making love, which we never did, and has zero to do with sex.
baflina on January 18, 2012:
For years my husband was not interested in sex when I was. Or when he did it was just him doing it to me and I felt used. However, I discovered by accident that anti depressants took away my libido.
The depression had been a result of being ignored.
The tablets caused weight gain.
This worsened things.
When I realised I would not take them as I was by this time so fat that I could not do things and it was upsetting my life.
The weight fell off as I was no longer comfort eating as food did not interest me any more.
Then my libido came back. I was attractive and like I was when he first met me.
But he was fat and I didn't fancy him like that. As luck would have it we both started to eat lots veg and as I needed to get exercise as I got thinner the weight came off him too.
Then we realised that we both wanted it again.
And from feeling nothing it was sensitive again.
But we are not emotionally close. We fight but of course the sex makes it up.
But we are still going for these long walks.
samuel welsh on January 12, 2012:
no really its japan ,most men here 77% are having affairs and 37% of their wifes
Anomyous on January 09, 2012:
We've been married about 20 years. My wife favored this type of arrangement early on; there was nothing kinky/twisted here either. There was some of the normal frustration in the beginning, but we are happy in basically all the other ways.
Aperson on December 19, 2011:
If both the partners are perfectly good and alright with having a sexless marriage and they don't feel the urge then its perfectly fine to be in a sexless marriage. But it's a problem when one wants it an dthe other doesn't. It could also be Curtural or religinal beliefs or reasons for a sexless marriage which is also alright.
So it mostly depends on what a situation of your type of sexless marriage is.
Someone on November 17, 2011:
To Kate, with the sex phobia: the best way to deal with a phobia is to face it slowly. The longer you avoid the fear causing event the more your brain rationalizes the fear. I would suggest finding a video of couples lovingly having sex. Like an instructional one. You should make your surroundings safe and relaxing and watch it in very small doses until you become more comfortable with it. Anti anxiety medication might be needed to do this, because if your fear of sex is greater than the fear of giving birth, than this is a serious phobia. In my opinion this is your best first step!
Stella on November 12, 2011:
I have been married for 10 years my husband is not responsible, strong he never stood up for me we never talk about me and him we never loved each other it was range marriage. we do have 2 kids together if any of his family member will argue with me about something he will just stand there and listen to them. We have no sex attraction for each other. I am depressed and I`m 28 yrs. and thinking sometimes about cheating and find someone who will care for me and huge me to make me feel safe and cared about. since my religion and culture wouldn`t allow me to get divorce. :( I wish sometimes my life is over with :(
Roxanne on November 04, 2011:
My partner and I (I am 32)are not married but have been together for nearly 14 yrs, with 2 children. The sex had always been good, but recently I just don't have my heart in it. It would be my preference to convert our relationship to a platonic partnership until the children have grown. I am completely willing to let him satisfy his needs outside the relationship, and if he met someone who could fulfill his need I would also be willing to walk away if he needed me to. I do love him, but I love him enough to know that I can't be what he needs anymore. I don't want any other relationships, and if he chose for us to go our separate ways I have no desire to date or hook up or the like,I would be content to just be alone. Some of my motivation is that I'm tired of constantly justifying myself and talking about every little feeling I have. He wants to talk out EVERYTHING and in some cases I honestly don't see the point. I figure if the sex is gone he won't feel this need to be my emotional regulator any longer. I'm honestly just living for the kids right now, because I really don't see the point in much else. I'm tired of fighting and I just want to work together to raise the kids and get this over with. The problem arises in how to tell him. This is going to be a huge knock down drag out, which is exactly the type of thing I don't want and is why I am coming to this conclusion in the first place. I'm sure he knows something is up, after our last argument a few days ago I have been distant because this has been rolling around in my head. So I have the choice of waiting for him to bring it up and spill the beans, or address it myself. I'm very unsure on how to proceed.
Mike52 on October 22, 2011:
I'm in the same boat as David 50. By definition, I've been in a sexless marriage for the last 6 years. We have had no physical contact in almost two years. To the outside world, we are the perfect couple- well respected in our community and very active in philanthropic activities, although many of these I am starting to do on my own as my wife is preferring to stay at home. Outside "flings" have tempted me, but I could not live with the guilt and will continue to work on the emotional and communication side of our marriage and hope things will turn around. If it does not in the next 12 months, I've got some serious decisions that need to be made.
keiship on October 18, 2011:
well because its for the children or because you don't want to deal with the courts and divorce because divorces can turn ugly quick! theres the couple figues they're too old not fit or the spark is gone and theres nothing to rekindle the flame the list goes on...
kate on September 23, 2011:
we 2 r in a sexless mrg.its because of me. i am having a sex phobia.its been 5 yrs of married life.got kids with artificial insemination. fro me life is no more interesting.i don't know about him. just living for kids.i don't know what to do.counselling was not helpful. pls give me a suggestion. wat to do?
Ronald on September 18, 2011:
Why stay in a sexless marriage? Maybe some of us are actually disciplined enough to control ourselves. Maybe I didn't marry my wife for a quick screw. Maybe its just not that important. I could go on and on but everyone seems to make such a huge deal out of this. If you can't deal with it, either do your partner a favor and leave or get some self respect.
DAVID 50 on September 14, 2011:
I find marriage with very little sex quite lonely, when we have had sex it is quite raunchy and hot,as a male I find if I had the world on my shoulders I could switch all that off and still be able to make love to my wife thinking of pleasing her but from my understanding most women cant just do that.my wife and I are in love with each other which is great.So with kids,work and life in general I guess I just need to be patient,even though temptation to leave or have a fling knocks on my door it is not an option because the pain would be greater than my loneleness for all of our house hold.I guess I just need to focus on the beauty of the other facets of our marriage, that will get me through I believe.
toby on September 05, 2011:
That's one of the saddest things I've ever read on a forum. My wife of 27 yrs. has not been interested in sex for a couple years now and I was feeling a little sorry for myself until I read this. Your not just in a sexless marriage, you're in a non-relationship. What are you waiting for the lock to rust off the door on his basement apartment.
Do yourself a favor. Get yourself out in the world. Join a club. Something your interested in. Meet some new people. Pass him a note saying "I'm going out. Don't wait up for me." And, if after you should happen to meet someone special, next time he passes you a note put it in an envelope marked "undeleverable" and send it back through the slot. Then put your own lock on the mail slot and leave him to rot in his own selfinposed exile. I think you've given enough of your life to him. Give some of it back to yourself.
Good luck to you
Northern Guy on August 30, 2011:
I like this article. It's well written, quite well researched and very gender neutral.
For ii3rittles: after you have 2 kids, are both working 10+ hours a day and need to deal with sick kids or kids that scream and throw tantrums rather than just go nicely to sleep, let us all know how your "celibate then sex-every-day after marriage" plan works out. I think you should have some experience as a married person (and parent too perhaps) before you can fairly criticize the rest of us and offer us your beliefs as "the only right answer". A bit of youthful arrogance here, I'm afraid. Let us know how it works out!
Amy on July 27, 2011:
My husband haven't been intimant or had sex in 30 years. When I'd bring up the subject he would just wallked away.
His solution was to move all his things to the basement, where he built a small betroom, kitchen family room type thing. He installed a lock on the basement door and put a mail slot in the door. This is our only way we communicate with each other. Notes dropped through a mail slot, what a loving way to be. My life has been terrible, I've been hurt, unwanted, depressed for years and he said in a note again get over it.
ladyv on April 01, 2011:
ii3rittles. You have a valid point about waiting until your married; however some people like myself waited-started making love to my husband and grew to love it, desire it crave it. We had sex 5x+ a week. Unfortunately that lasted the first year. The second year it dwindled to once a month. Now as 3years approaches we don't have sex at ALL. The only intimacy that I receive is falling asleep in his arms(that's when I make him-otherwise he wouldn't). I'm 22 and feel very cheated due to the fact that I now have a high sex drive but my husband(32) had No interest. The lack of intimacy weighs heavy on a relationship and causes a disconnect. Sex is powerful and brings a couple together- when the aspect of the relationship is gone it can survive; unfortunately in my case my husband refuses to talk about anything that has to do with sex. I've contemplated divorce- and think about it@least once a week. I'm ready,willing, and desperate to communicate- he's not. So I'm left standing waiting(since we don't have sex-I have lots of time to think).
ii3rittles on February 07, 2011:
If people had sex like it was intended this wouldn't happen! I am engaged and getting married in November. I told my fiancé I wanted to wait till we were married to have sex. This is my belief. It is hard at times but once it happens our relationship will grow. Sex is for two people who are MARRIED! Sexless marriage happens because people have sex before marriage and lose the spiritual connection of sex with each other. My belief is to, also have sex EVERYDAY (when married) unless I am menstrating or one of us is sick. If more men and women stopped abusing sex and seeing it as only fulfilling the flesh, more people would be happily married and more marrages would last.
Kevin R on January 26, 2011:
My wife made me very happy, She told people that she had not had sex for 2 yearsI had had a strong sex drive so we were perfectly matched; my wife had died.
A couple of years things started to run down, we have not had sex for two years. I am p****d off.
ELLIOTTdaMAN on July 19, 2010:
Monica: maybe your husband just diesnt want sex because like you said, he's boring in bed and doesn't want to embarrass himself not being able to please you. Maybe you should try to act like what he's doing is fulfilling to sort of spark up some confidence and maybe he'll start initiating sexual encounters with you...
I'm not an expert. Jus trying to help
Kamran100 on July 10, 2010:
interesting and nice topic...but i think its very sad, if any couple don't enjoy sex after marriage..
Monica on July 07, 2010:
Thank for the new Hub, this is exactly what I was looking for!!!! I being married for two years ( we are an international couple, he is from Poland and I am from Mexico). I will like your advice, because honestly, I'm so confused. I never expected that sex could be so important in a relationship but my husband has very low libido. I have already tried to speak to him about this and he always tell me that is because of work that he feels very tired. Besides that, he is boring in sex ..... I would like to experiment more things and he feels kind of ofended when I propose him something new. He is extremely nice guy and he is always looking after me but I feel guilty at the moment because I think we don't have anything in common. When he comes back from work he grab his laptop and we don't have any communication whatsoever!!! I know he loves me and he is not cheating on me but I feel he is definitely more serious than I am and I don't know if thinking about divorce would be the solution. Help me , please !!!! I need to hear another opinion and I can not speak to anybody else.
Dawn Michael from THOUSAND OAKS on June 26, 2010:
I really enjoyed the topic and yes I do believe that there are many couples who are in a sexless marriage, but are they faithful, that I am not sure of ?
jayb23 from India on June 07, 2010:
Brilliant Hub anamika...as a bachelor it has given me loads of insights...after a long break i need to catch up with your other hubs..keep up the good work..
Kalpana Iyer from India on May 31, 2010:
As long as both partners are okay with not having too much intimacy in their relationship, then I guess being in a sexless relationship is ok. Only when one of them starts craving for more, that the problem arises. Everyone goes through sexual cravings but as soon as that subsides and you're still able to love your partner no matter what -- that's when you know that true love exists! Great article!
Denise Handlon from North Carolina on May 17, 2010:
Interesting topic. Ladyjane1 and Doinwithout: don't assume it is always the female who is withholding or losing interest. As Anamika has pointed out, there are many reasons for both men and women to make a decision not to engage in sex within a committed relationship. Mutual dialogue and open communication about their decision is important. Especially, if one person has made the decision
without the input of the other. After all, two people are affected by the decision of that one.
A hot topic for discussion, for sure.
Vladimir Uhri from HubPages, FB on April 09, 2010:
Great article. Thanks.
Doinwithout on April 08, 2010:
ladyjane1: Just because it's not important to a spouse doesn't mean it isn't important to the relationship. I would venture to say that each person entered marriage expecting sex to remain important 'til death do us part.' When anything gets in the way, whether our own, perhaps selfish, interests or uninterests we need to evaluate what is important to the whole picture of our relationship.
As for myself, I have been trying for years to get my wife re-interested. She even agreed to read a good book written by a woman on revitalizing sex for the mature couple. My wife put the book in the bottom drawer of her dresser. She said she read parts. She doesn't want to talk about it. I'm trying to be patient. How many more months...?
I'll bet I'm not alone in this type of situation.
God help all of us. What would be an intervention for a sexless marriage?
shazwellyn from Great Britain on March 25, 2010:
Sometimes couples become more friends than lovers.
The old saying 'familiarity breeds contempt' may also have a baring. Thanks for publishing this useful hub. It can be used as a great discussion point for couples :)
Tracy Morrow from Cleveland, OH on March 24, 2010:
A sexless marriage is defined by having sex 12 or less times throughout the year. I believe many more people fall into that criteria than what one would think. It's sad though and not good for your health. Sex has so many health benefits, not to mention being an additional "glue" to help a couple stay close and intimate. I would suggest anyone in a sexless marriage do whatever they can to overcome the issues and get back to having sex.
manomoney on March 23, 2010:
i do agree with comments given its something touches my mind sexless or lesssex is not a big problem if we understand the fundamental logic reasons in puranas vedas which clearly states why and when one must have sex we can't compare with animals .Its all our way of life if spritual way then pleasure is in search and glory of god. the comments given by anamika is well enough.
ladyjane1 from Texas on March 23, 2010:
Good hub and great information. I guess there are many reasons why people have sexless marriages. Sometimes women get to the age where sex just isn't that important anymore and men stay horny forever so its kinda a catch 22 lol
Kelvin Tan on March 23, 2010:
hmmm, never thought about having sexless marriage before.
msorensson on March 22, 2010:
This is the crux of the matter: for 99.9 percent of those sexless marriages, Anamika.
"What ever the reasons are many couples prefer to stay in the marriage than opt out of it because of children, financial reasons, society, legal or religious reasons etc"
The other 0.1 percent opt in because they have found that love is more than sex.
Sex for the most part is a brain activity. The couples who stay in love long after the sex is gone truly love each other.
An example is a judge that I know. He is 83 years old. He has been married to the same woman for 57 years. He tells me that it is the warmth of his wife in bed at night, that keeps him alive.
Thank you. You covered the subject matter well.