Kenneth Avery is a Southern humorist with well over a thousand fans. The charm and wit in his writing span a nearly a decade.
There Was a Time When
cavemen thought that all they had to do was smack an attractive cave woman with his club and drag her into his club and then they were married, as it were. And to just think f it, without the club, this principle might have worked to just take the girl of our dreams by the hair and carry her to our home despite her vocal protesting.
But this, alas, is only a fantasy. True love is far more tricky and expensive if you will just get your calculator and figure just how much scratch that you guys have spent on many girls whom you loved only to have her slam the door of her heart leaving you $50 short and looking like a fool. This can happen. It is probably happening somewhere in our world even as I speak.
And I also know that there is the old tried-and-true ways of giving our potential girlfriends or wives, those very nice and fashionable gifts such as: jewelry; clothing, mink coats, and month-long cruises. But coming-up in the rear of the pack are those traditional-but-very-nice gifts that hardly any woman at any age would dare saying no to the gift-giver. So in order to give you more time to keep up with your job and home chores, I am going to put those traditional "sweetheart" gifts into the spotlight and tell you just why pretty girls love them so much.
Let's Look at an Animal Parade
and that way, we have been good to the ecology as well as our own ego. I will take my list of gifts that will pave the way and help you to be in your girlfriend or wife's heart and you can feel good about her choices as well.
Ohhh, What a Cute Bunny
might be what your girlfriend or wife would say if you showed-up and gave her one of these rabbits that you see on this hub. Her eyes would get so wide with excitement that you would not have to sell her on the importance of this gift. Sure, it's the real thing, but like the old-but-true saying, it's the thought that counts.
Just one look from your girlfriend or wife will instantly tell her that you are a thinking companion, not just a man who takes her for granted. And a nice gift like this (real) cute bunny says, I love you so much, and guys, take my word for it. There are many times when a live bunny will take the place of a cold, diamond bracelet.
Ahhh, Just Look at These Buddies
who love each other. And like the real bunny rabbit (above), just think for a moment what your girlfriend or wife will do when you get home with a beautiful tabby or a very faithful puppy. Either one is a sure-fire guarantee that she is going to love you for years. And did you know that (this) gift carries a secret with it? Oh, and the bunny has a secret too. Cute live animals need a daily feeding, so plan to be at her apartment (if she is not married) or at your place if your wife is busy in the house and make sure that the clock says that it is feeding time for her lovely animals. Plus, the surprise of you getting home so early from work will give you a great night when the lights go out.
Wow, Are You Special or What
will be what your girlfriend or wife screams with joy as you hand her this dozen red roses. I know. Aren't giving roses so common? Well, have you ever known of a bouquet of red roses ever being turned down by any girl? That alone says just how potent a red rose can be. The rose alone will touch her heart and I could add that her pretty eyes will be full of tears when she samples the aroma of the fresh roses.
I would go this far, but this might be stretching things. Make sure you know just when she waters her roses, and you show-up to do that for her. Two romantic gestures in one. Now if you were not "the" love of her life, you will now.
Yumm, Anyone Taste Tasty Candy
is what your girlfriend or wife's girlfriends will say (out of jealousy) when they visit your home. On the night before, you have given your sweetie a big box of imported chocolates because the traditional American candy just won't do, and while this is not knock on the good old U.S.A., means that girls everywhere love variety. But not in male lovers--especially when this is you when you give her this box of candy with a red ribbon tied around the box.
And the secret of secrets with this gift is that when she is finished praising you for the chocolates, you stand-up and tell her to get ready because you are taking her out for a real special dinner. Only the best is what you also say.
Now. With these three gifts of love will not cost all that much, but enough to help impress her. So off you go, chum. Time is of the essence. Time to make valuable points with your sweet companon when you give her gifts of the heart.
January 12, 2021____________________________________________________
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Vote For Your Favorite Valentines Day Gift Now . . .
© 2021 Kenneth Avery
DW Davis from Eastern NC on January 15, 2021:
Sometimes candy is not the best idea. One year, I gave my wife a dozen roses and a heart-shaped box of candy. She sneered at me and said, "What? Are you trying to make me fat?" and threw the candy away.
Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on January 15, 2021:
Sometimes it is the thought that counts. Unless you know that a person wishes to have an animal and be able to care for it, I would cross that one off the list. Flowers and candy are sweet gestures.