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Online Dating Can Work. Are You Doing These Things?

Mary is a 20-something-year-old who knows what's it like to navigate today's fast-paced, you-snooze-you-lose dating landscape.

Photo by Alex Green from Pexels

Photo by Alex Green from Pexels

Many of us would like to believe that the man or woman of our dreams would waltz past us during rush hour, bump into us and save our coffee from spilling. Can I laugh out loud? This is the real world fam, and truth be told, things like that almost never happen.

However, with social media, finding that special one doesn’t have to be such a tedious and high stake affair anymore. Yeah, that’s right. Several sites and applications now exist to help hook you up with the ultimate love of your life. But, you must be prepared for what the internet has to offer.

1. Say something authentic but interesting in your profile

Your profile determines who’s going to keep swiping left or who slides right into the DM. While you want to be original and state your interests, say things about you that are specifically interesting and can act as an ice breaker or prelude to a great conversation. The fact that you love to take long walks on the beach doesn’t say so much about you specifically. C’mon, everyone loves that! Why not say something original but interesting? And err, maybe don't try to oversell and say something like how your Golden Retriever is the ONLY light of your life. How would you make space for someone else then? However, if you were to come clean about your ardent need to surf now and then, you could get a response like an excited “Hey, me too!” The key is to keep it simple and intriguing. No need to list every interesting thing you’ve ever done in your life.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

2. Be Honest

Trust and mutual understanding are vital qualities in lasting relationships. You don’t wanna get off on the wrong foot with a potential by lying, even if it’s a teeny little white lie about how tall you are. Try not to lie about your height, interests, job, or anything else for that matter. Turns out, lying on your profile goes a long way in defining the kind of person you are. It also affects your chances of catching the fancy of an honest and serious person, even if they do fall at first. So, tell the truth about yourself. Of course, this does not include adding every odd detail in your life, like the 5-second foot itch you got yesterday. Be confident enough to describe yourself accurately and trust that it’ll appeal to someone.

3. Select your websites and applications wisely

How much more can I stress this? Meeting that special one online would require you to dedicate some level of seriousness to your pursuit. Before jumping on any app or site, research them thoroughly. After all, you want to meet a responsible and charming individual, not someone who’ll creep you out. So, do your homework. Ask your friends questions about these apps or sites. And if you need to pay, it’s not too much of an investment, because, hey, if it pans out well, this is the love of your life you’ll be meeting. Be sure to select only apps that deliver what you’re looking for.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

4. Ensure You’re grammar is on point

If you spotted that subheading pun, there’s hope for you yet. Chances are you scrounged your nose in disgust, right? That’s pretty much how we react when your grammar is terrible on your profile. Slips happen here and there but they shouldn’t happen on your profile. We all hope we could find someone to love us who knows the difference between you’re and your. So, before posting your profile, check and double-check for grammatical errors so you can correct them. Also, ditch the abbreviations! Your profile isn’t a text message. You want to be taken seriously.

5. Let your profile project what you want

It’s important that you understand that you can’t be looking out for every kind of person. Let’s face it, not everyone would also be angling for you. So, tailor your profile to attract the kind of people you want. You don’t have to reply to every message and give first-dates to everyone. Choose what you can handle and remain open-minded.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

6. Be safety-conscious

Pay very serious attention to this. Be mindful of the fact that you don’t or barely know the other person. Choose public places for your dates and let a trusted friend of yours know where you’re going. Avoid mysterious or secretive people. Take your own car or public transportation. The key is to retain control so you can back out when you feel it’s not safe. And yeah, we totally understand if you need to carry pepper spray as well. Let’s face it; the internet is home to lots of creeps.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

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dashingscorpio from Chicago on July 23, 2021:

Excellent article.

#3 is extremely important!

Very few people bother to read independent reviews or learn about the site or app before making a selection.

It's helpful to know in advance what the male to female ratio, educational level, income level, typical age range, racial, and religious makeup is of the members is before joining.

Whatever it is you want should dictate where you shop!

In addition there are "niche sites" which may cater to a specific "must have" item on your list. Research can save you time and money.

Imagine yourself being your "ideal mate" and ask yourself:

Which site he or she would likely join and why?

In order to meet the type of people you want to meet you have to run in (their) same circles.

Online dating is nothing more than a (tool) for meeting new people. Much like a (fork) is a tool for eating. You can have a garden salad or a slice of double fudge chocolate cake.

However no obese person would ever blame their (fork) for their weight gain! And yet people who have bad experiences with people {they chose to meet} will blame the whole online dating industry!

It's up to (you) to have your own mate selection screening process and "must haves list" for choosing whom you will engage with.

It's not that online dating sucks, too many people suck at online dating! :)

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