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Oh, to Love Once . . .and

Kenneth, born and raised in the South, resides in Hamilton, Alabama. He enjoys sharing his unique perspectives on life through his writing.


It has been said that the epitome of literarians five, failed to catch a foot hold on their obvious hinge of life so pure and unexpected. Who could have thought such a failure to exist in mortals such as these enlightened, gifted souls. Once they seen and felt that uncertain failure tear through their bodies, their sweet, noble heads bowed with silent smiles and muted lips. In a few harsh moments they went about what they were discussing.

So, turtle-like, I stalk from the dirt road wiping what seems like a gallon of sweat each move that I make, to just talk to this muscular, burly man a piece off. He sees me and glares. I see him and glare right back. Fair's fair, I believe.

"Tatum. Billy Ray Tatum's the name. What's yours?" he asks without taking time to look into my face.

What a rude gesture. So before I reply, I grad his left right jaw and pull it toward me. He snaps his eye. I feel his short beard. I hate sandpaper.

"Landers Wade M.," I reply not showing him any inkling of fear. This in itself is a feat because this man stood a good seven foot and weighed a good 180 pounds and his clothing looked a lot like he was a ranch foreman or something of that nature.

"What's ye' diziness, uhhh, Landers? Talk quick. Got a truck of fertilizer coming,""Tatum said still looking away from me.

"How owns those rocky ridges way out there?" I ask hoping that he kne

"Who wants to know?" "Tatum" said removing his "Yes, Bobcats!" small town football team cap.

"I do. I was wondering if I could take my camera up there a-ways and get me some photos," I explained. The day was growing hotter.

"Well . . .okay, but ya' gotta had over a fiver to me," he said quickly.

"Here! All I have are these three one's, that's it," I said humbly.

"Okay, short man. (laughs) Help yeself and don't get snake bit," "Tatum" said in a non-caring tone.

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Oh, to love once, and . . .

I never have in any sense, trusted a person wearing a security guard's uniform. Too many TV shows start and end with such a character. But I am still gazing at hose rough, sharp-edged rocks that are somehow daring me to take one chance, just one chance, on taking a stab at finding my elusive lover and how like the chemical, Mercury, spilled two days ago, much too late for me to reconnect the spillage. Tears did appear in my eyes.

She was a lover in a thousand lifetimes. You know what I mean, right? She was just a special make of woman--designed by the Higher Intelligence, it had to be. No person, especially a woman like her, could do the things that she did in my witness and laughed about it. She was, in most-simple terms, a dare-devil, Rembrandt with deepest creativity in her fingertips. Yet, humble-minded, playful, as the summers went by. If a male did not fall in love with a woman like her, he was a horse pulling a rusty breaking plow. a Bull tongue plow to be more exact.

Sad, cold-hearted, numb to the facts, are just a few of the adjectives that I describe on standing on the solemn ground adjacent to the huge rocky hills above me and how I need to pray in order to just take a step or two and hold onto something to just save my life. I am scared.

In the fine mist above the hill in the background, I see a cloud, but it's really a phantom, in my eyes, a female phantom who is whispering to me in the breezes throughout the forest on each side of me and what she is saying, is far from happy. Although I wish now, a thousand times, that they were. But life is like that. I've said over 77 times over the past 10 years, because it is true. Lies will not help me now.

"What a woman," I sigh. That's all that i can do. I feel the pain of defeat begin to start growing in my skeleton. I feel like giving my life to just escape this horrible journey that I never thought would take this avenue. Life is like, . . .well, you know.

Oh, to love once, and . . .

In all, the pain, defeat, and love that I still possess, I see her pink cape gently blowing around her shoulders. She is staring at the ground as if she doesn't see or hear me. I also wonder, what did I do to her several miles ago? She left happy. She threw a kiss to me. Time was, that meant something. I know that eons travel faster than the speed of light, so I shouldn't dream about my own selfish wants and needs, but hey! I do not ask for the world. Just a moment to hold this goddess in the mist just one time.

Oh, to love once, and . . .

July 19, 2021____________________________________________________

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© 2021 Kenneth Avery

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