Anamika S. Jain has been a social media consultant for six years. She has written more than 200 articles on relationships and dating.
What to do when a Guy is Not Taking No for an Answer
What does it mean when a man harasses you and does not take no for an answer in dating or relationship? Have you been in a situation where you have tried your best to convince the guy that you are not interested in having a relationship with him but still he tried to force his way into your life? Have you been with a Guy who always pressurize you into doing something you did not want to do and try to have his way with you? There are many men who do not take no for an answer. I have been there and I am sure there are several more women who have been in the same situation.
Why is he not taking ‘no’ for an answer? What does it mean when a guy is not taking no for an answer in dating? What to do in such a situation? If you ask me not taking no for an answer is one of the signs of an abusive man who is self centered and having no respect for your feelings. It is better for women to keep away from such men as such relationships only bring misery and regrets.
Saying NO to Men - Reasons why some Guys do not take No for an Answer
Why is he not taking no for an answer? Why the guy is persistent in pursuing you even after you said no? How to handle a man who is too aggressive with you? I am sure many women would want an answer to these questions.
Have you been in a situation where a guy wants you to date him or have sex with him but your response was not positive? There may be several reasons why a man may not take no for an answer. 5 such reasons for aggressive behavior are given below.
- You are a Challenge he wants to Conquer: Some guys just think that they can get any girl they want. They cannot handle rejection so they just keep on trying. There is a good chance that he is a player and used to getting his own way with most girls except you. You have hurt his ego by giving him a negative response and he wants to turn that into positive by winning your love and affection.
- He has been taught not to take no for an Answer: Sales and Management Graduates are taught not to take no for an answer and that persistence pays off. They are taught that a winner never gives up trying. Do guys act persistent and not give up because he might become a loser if he gives up on a girl he wants? Maybe his mentality and positive attitude may win him customers but in relationships it can be a negative quality and make him look like a stalker or creep in front of the girl he is trying to impress.
- May be he loves you too much to lose you: Maybe he really loves you so much and just wants a chance with you no matter what. He does not want a heart break and therefore continue to chase you even when you are least interested. Or maybe he is just too desperate to get himself a girl and think that you may take pity on him and give him a chance if he is persistent with you. However, don’t be forced into an unwanted relationship if you are not sure he is the right person for you.
- He is dominating in nature: Majority of women do not like men who are overly dominating. When a man forces his way into your life and force you into doing things you do not want to do or force his decisions on you then it is the sign of an abusive relationship. Such Guys may physically or verbally harass you .Is the guy you are dating insisting and pressurizing on having sex with you when you are not mentally prepared for it? If that is the case sex is all he is interested in. If a guy really loves a girl, he would give her time to make her own decision and not pressurize her or force her.
- Your No is not forceful enough: Many guys tend to think if a girl says ‘no’, then it means yes. Or he thinks that he can make you change a “no” into a “maybe,” “okay”, “yes” or “I’ll think about it”. This may be true about material things but unfortunately not always true when it comes to relationships. Many times the guys are persistent in pursuing as they think that your ‘no’ is an indication of a positive response from your side. If you have no interest in the guy, be firm in your decision. If he is a decent enough guy then he will respect your decision and if he is still trying to force his way into your life you should make a police report.
It is indeed true that Males do not like to hear a no from a girl they are pursuing. But they should also realize that they cannot have everything they want. When a Guy goes to the extent of scaring, terrorizing, harassing or annoying a girl with his behavior or actions it is a sure sign that he has crossed the line. Such guys are definitely ‘bad news'. Many times we come across guys who at the very instant you notice him makes you feel all wrong. It would be a bad idea to give him any impression you’re interested or ignore completely as it can cause him to behave badly towards you. It is better to act friendly but not overly friendly or flirty in such a situation.
If you feel in your heart that a Guy is wrong for you do not let him talk you out of it at all and stick on to your decision. I have seen many women letting guys whom they do not love in to their lives just because the guy had been aggressive and persistent only to regret the decision later. However, there is a good chance that a woman may reconsider her decision later or may continue being friendly with him if the Guy had respected her decision and feelings.
Bobfek on August 22, 2013:
I might have agreed with this if not for the fact that I've had several (9 to be exact) occasions where the girl has not got it through her thick head that I wasn't interested. No challenge conquering, being taught not accept no, or my no being not strong enough was a barrier to these freaks persisting at embarrassing lengths to continue a hopeless quest. It's somwtimes a simple fact that some people are just obsessed freaks, both male and female, no further psycholgising necessary.
Ella-90 on May 27, 2012:
Useful hub, I've had a guy in the past who wouldn't take no for an answer after we broke up and ended up having to go AWOL and change my number and block him from everything. Extreme but necessary in order to get rid of a guy who just won't let go
Becky on February 15, 2012:
Great article. I just got a divorce. I put my home up for sale. A couple weeks ago my realtor came over and he asked me out(he is married and I went to school with his wife) he said he is getting a divorce. I told him no. On Valentines he sent me flowers,I wrote him an email saying that I am not interested! He wrote me back stating that he never has been "dumped on Valentine's Day" WTH? Nothing has happened... he will not take NO for an answer. Now I have to search for another realtor, I do not have affairs.
ssohrra on November 23, 2010:
Guys do have brains,it's a nature of man not to be let down by a lady.Simple yes or no answers would make him more uncomfortable.Best solution to me is to explain him the situation politely and even then if he is adamant ask him if he could be friend instead.This wud give him time to think and respect you.But one has every right to love any creation of God.
Tatjana-Mihaela from Zadar, CROATIA on October 11, 2010:
Guys who do not understand "no", usually don`t listen and due to that don`t hear what woman says, neither they are interested in her opinion. Excess of testosterones can be very boring, LOL.
Thanks for excellent Hub, Anamika.
Peg Cole from North Dallas, Texas on October 07, 2010:
True that some men do not take no for an answer. It only makes them more determined to pursue. Unfortunately that is sometimes just a game that men play. You are very wise for your youthful appearance. That's half the battle already won. Good reading here.
Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 21, 2010:
@jayb Thanks a lot for the encouragement dear. Many times being able to see through a Guy or read a Guy before he even opens his mouth has stopped me from making Male friends.
jayb23 from India on August 21, 2010:
Amazing hub Anamika. I just loved it, seems u hav done loads of research on men. Yeah some guys just dont know how to take NO, it hurts their ego and there are some in minority who understand and are mature enough. Keep up the good work.
Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 21, 2010:
@jasper420 Plenty of Women including me have been in the same situation. But it is up to us in what way we handle it.
@HappyHer You have always been an encouragement and i thank you for reading this hub and expressing your opinion.
@msorensson I also prefer being direct and when I say a NO I mean NO. But unfortunately have had this type of experience more than once.
msorensson on August 20, 2010:
I am always very direct. They can either take the friendship that I can offer or not. ..
I tell them I do not want to waste their time, or mine.
If they accept the NO, then I become their friend if not then no..I avoid them at all costs.
Tracy Morrow from Cleveland, OH on August 20, 2010:
Most excellent hub! No means No. That should be taught early.
jasper420 on August 20, 2010:
great hub iam experncing that right now i no longer feel alone its nice to know some one else has had this expernece thanks for the great adivce