Skip to main content

You think he's cheating on you...and you don't know what to do

telltale sign of cheating: lipstick or perfume on your man


Woman Savers

  • World's largest database rating men
    Register and rate the guys you have dated on this site. Seeing something new? Look him up in the database and see if others have caught him cheating!

This is the ONLY advice you need to follow if you suspect your man is cheating on you.

You think your man is cheating on you. The thought has at least crossed your mind. Something he may have said, or done, may have sparked a little doubt in your mind the he is being loyal.

It is far too easy in this situation to say " No, he's not like that," or " he wouldn't do that to me."

Let me tell you: He could, he can, and he will.

When you start suspecting your man is cheating on you, this is your female intuition raising a huge RED FLAG. You need to listen to what you think deep down in your gut, because this is the voice of truth that you NEED to hear and listen to.

12 tell-tale signs that he's cheating on you:

  1. He's broke because all of his cash is going to the other woman.
  2. He's been putting you down lately or picking fights with you (this is a tactic they use to ease their guilt).
  3. They get defensive if you question where they've been or ask about females that he has been spending time with.
  4. The first thing he does when he gets home is take a shower.
  5. He has all of a sudden been meticulous with keeping his physical appearance up.
  6. He doesn't have a lot of time for you, and he may have told you he's "working late" on many occasions.
  7. He goes out at night, a lot. He may use the out with "buddies" excuse. When he's out, his phone is off, and goes straight to voicemail.
  8. He's been getting a lot of calls/texts lately. He may act like he's in a rush to get off the phone.
  9. He puts a password on his phone.
  10. He hasn't put a password on his phone and you notice a lot of unknown numbers. (Beware, men will list their other women as businesses or names of men so you won't second-guess the calls).
  11. Your sex life is non-existent
  12. He asks you where you are all of the time. You think he's being concerned. The reality is... he's making sure he won't get caught in the act.

If any of the above behaviors ( or anything else you may feel is "sketchy" has been happening for an extended period of time, its likely that he is cheating on you. I don't recommend confronting him off the bat. He will lie. Men lie through their teeth because the last thing they want is to be confronted by a female.

10 things you can do to INVESTIGATE if you expect he's been cheating on you:

1. Closely monitor his phone activity and take notes. If he answers calls around you, does he act rushed to hang up with the person? Can you tell if it's a female? If you have access to his phone and can go through it without him knowing, DO IT. Take note of all of the names and numbers in his phone book. Write down all incoming, outgoing, and missed calls. Make sure you notate the times and length of calls. If you're lucky enough to have the password to his voicemail. Check his messages from your phone often. If he doesn't keep his voicemail password protected, check his messages from his phone. Keep the following in mind: He might clear his call logs out ( a clear sign that theres something going on that he doesn't want you to see), He may store the other woman as a business or under a male's name, so that you won't pick up on it. Question everything. If he keeps his phone password protected, that is a clear sign he is cheating.

2. After taking extensive notes over a period of time on his call activity, do you notice any trends? A lot of late night calls? A lot of calls to the same two or three numbers? Perhaps some really LONG phone calls? Any phone numbers that raise your suspicion, call them. If you get the voicemail and its a female voice, you've found the other woman. If you get an automated voicemail, keep calling back. If you can't get access to his phone, intercept his mail and take his phone bill. No, its not a charming thing to do, but he's lying to you and all bets are off, just do it.

3. Pay close attention to his car. Are the seats moved around? If the passenger seat has been moved, especially closer to the dash, then its likely he had a female riding with him. Turn the radio on. Is it tuned to a station different than it normally is? Check the CD player for any unrecognized discs, or for any romantic or sexy music. Is your man suddenly keeping air fresheners in his car? Make sure you look in the glove box, under the seats, on the seats, all through the back seat for any sex stains, female hairs, condoms, condom wrappers, stray underwear, or any other evidence of another female.

4. Check the pockets of his clothes frequently. Look for receipts that may indicate a purchase for another woman, look for condoms or condom wrappers, look for anything that might indicate his cheating. Also check his wallet. If you can get a hold of his bank statement and credit card bill, even better. Check for restaurant charges, movie theater charges, hotel charges, shopping charges, and so on.

5. Pay attention to how his guy friends are acting around you lately. Has there been a change? Do they seem a little uncomfortable around you now? Maybe a little avoidant? Keep in mind that when men are having an affair they usually brag to their buddies. They think they're slick that you're in the dark. Listen to his conversations with his friends, does it sound like they have a new string of inside jokes? Does anything sound amiss to you? Whenever possible, talk to his friends as much as possible. If you can, try to catch your man in a lie through gaining information from his friends. Please note that you cannot let his friends know you suspect him of cheating. Guys will always cover up for other guys. However, you can for example ask your mans friend "JIm" what he did this weekend ( when your man isn't around) if he says he took a road trip to Colorado Friday- Monday, you know that your man wasn't being honest when he told you he was with "Jim" on Saturday night.

6.If he calls and asks you where you are, or ask what your schedules going to be like, LIE. If he doesn't know where you really are at any given time, he has more of a chance of getting caught in the act. If you live together, and you can find time, drop by your house on break, at varying times of the day, even if he's supposed to be at work. You may very well drop by the house at 2pm on a Monday, and catch him in the act because he wasn't expecting you to be there. You can also try dropping by his job once in a while. Try not to make your prescence known. Oh, was he out to lunch? Does he USUALLY take his lunch with him and work through his lunch hour? You might want to take a quick drive around the area and see if you spot his car at any local hotels, restaurants, bars, etc.

7. On a night that he's going out with his "buddies" try to follow him. You have to be really discreet. If you don't think you can follow him without having him realize it, have someone you trust follow him. Did he do what he told you he was doing? If he told you he was going to be at such and such a friends house, drop by there with an excuse like " I'm locked out of my house, is my man here?" If he isn't, boom, he's lying to you.

8. Pay close attention to how he functions in his relationship with you. When you ask him what he did today, or yesterday or what have you, is he over explanatory? Does he take a long time to think up what he did? Does he look to the left ( a signal he is lying), does he avoid contact? Has he been so busy lately that he doesn't have time for you? Has he stopped buying you things, taking you out for special nights, or has he been sleeping over less? Does he seem really stressed out when you try to talk to him? Have you been fighting a lot lately? Men who cheat find themselves in fights with their significant others because they are on edge as they know they are two timing, they become more and more defensive and guilty acting.

9. Stop initiating physical contact with him. Don't be a cold fish, but let him make the moves and observe. Is he as "hot and heavy" for you as he used to be? Does he tell you he loves you anymore? Is your sex life dwindling? Does he withdraw if you initiate contact? If you ARE still having sex with your man. Use protection, you don't know who this other woman is or where she has been.

10. After you have gathered enough evidence and are pretty damn sure there is a possibility that your man is cheating... DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

You may not have been lucky enough to catch him in the act, but if the signs are there, and your gut is correct, that is just as good. You can try to confront him, but very few men fess up. If you do confront him, do you believe his excuses? Listen to his gut.

Scroll to Continue


Now some of you might be asking " Well I can't be 100% sure he is cheating on me, I don't feel right breaking up with him, innocent until proven guilty."

And my response is: If there are any signs that lead you to believe your man is cheating on you, you should leave him RIGHT now.

Are you going to wait until you find him and the other woman in your bed? Are you going to wait until he brings home a STD? Are you going to wait until he decides to leave you for her and you're left with no integrity?

If your man is being hot and cold, displaying sketchy behavior, is running around at all hours of the night doing god knows what, racking up numbers from women, getting his phone blown up by females...that's enough reason to leave him. I don't care if you have kids with this person, if your man is cheating YOU DO NOT GIVE HIM SECOND CHANCES What type of example would you be setting for these children if you took your man back? That its okay for men to act like this because women are so forgiving? Come on, you have more self-respect for yourself than that.

Giving your man a second chance only shows him what a sucker you are, and remember, once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater.

MSNBC why men cheat

Tickle Test


Tracy Moore on January 31, 2018:

Hey guys I was introduced to hacktioning AT geemail dot com because i really wanted to know what my husband has been up to lately as I seem not to be getting his attention. cyber surgeon was able to hack into my husband Facebook, Snapchat, WhatsApp, Instagram and above all gave me full access to his mobile phone and emails without touching the phone. I couldn't help but to introduce him to those who have their spouse cheating on them and want to spy on them. hacktioning At Geemail Dot Com he will help you out with any hacking related issues, tell him tracy Moore referred you..thank me later

Stephanie from New York on November 05, 2017:

Catching a cheating spouse may be difficult and even require the use of a private investigator. Private investigators may use personal surveillance techniques, video taping, or photography to obtain proof of the infidelity. In some cases, a private investigator may do a background check on the individual to obtain information of their past. You have to note that not all comment are real most of them are spammers and from what i have been made to understand, this job doesn’t come cheap. In the case of mine I requested for the service of this private investigator (captainspyhacker2 AT gmail DOT com ) who helped me gain access to my husband phone remotely using his techniques he did the job with no traces. up to this moment I still monitor his phone because I need a strong proof for divorce.

Miley Sharon on June 17, 2016:

when i got suspicious of my husband's move, i tried hacking his phone and other social networks, but couldn't get a true real hacker. After so many years of failed trial, my nephew made me meet this hacker called Benjamin, i was quite insecure at first but proceeded because my cousin was involved. And yes he did a great job, i salute his skill and i recommend them for anybody, he is one of the few hackers i can vouch for out there. Get reach to him on

Lydia on October 15, 2014:

My life is back!!! After 2 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Olawole which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and also spell to get a good paid job so on. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Julieta, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email.After reading all these, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than you are a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on (

Johnb465 on May 07, 2014:

Pretty great post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted kebgcgdkedde

leslie Davenport on May 29, 2013:

I have been seeking a solution to my problems until i met this very powerful spell caster located in Texas which i was introduced to me by my auty, i tried him and my problem was solved within 2 days and he did not charge much. He is for real and His contact is ( )

maris mirker on January 20, 2013:

i am maris mirker from canada.

My ex-boyfriend dumped me 0ne week ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you dr okudu You are truly talented and gifted. Email: is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful spell caster.

Brian on November 05, 2012:

Hello, my name is brian sluk, I recently had a relation trouble that almose made me commit sucide, because the only one true woan i love was laft me because she travelled to finish her education in foreign country. she was no longer returning my calls or emails, till she clearly told me she is now dating someone else that life has to move on that i should do the same.

It hurt me so badly like my whole life is about to end, then i went online to know if there was anything i can do to change things then i saw people talking about a great spell caster whose email is, i did the same by contacting him because i needed her desperately and the spell caster did brought her back after 2days, we were now so much inlove all of a sudden, she started calling apologising, she calls morning, afternoon, and evening, just to make sure am okay.

The spell caster really changed everything to good if not i would have done something harmful to my self.

All thanks to the great spell caster, contact him on issues.

sent from my blackberry verizone

Jessica Ruiz on October 10, 2012:

My name is Jessica Ruiz from Florida I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. I had a problem with my Ex husband 2years ago, which lead to our break up. when he broke up with me, I was not my self again, i felt so empty inside me, my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine Lucy told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too his name is Dr Shiva. I email Dr Shiva the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happening my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me in just 2days and was so happy to have him back to me. We have two kids together and we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Dr Shiva for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is:hinduspelltemple@yahoo .com you are the best among all the spell caster online I hope you see my testimonies and also pray for my family too.

tina on September 27, 2012:

I ordered a spell on a friday night and on Monday the place I applied for a job called

for me to come by their office. They gave me the job I applied for and made me an offer

of more per hour than I have ever made in my life! I am so happy! The government jobs

sometimes are a slow process. You somehow managed to speed up that process, and I

start in just a few days! dr,kokotemple i will be forever geartful thank ones again ok

you can call on him for help on his email address dr,

johan on September 27, 2012:


Last month, it was my birthday, the anniversary of my late husband’s death, and a time when I experienced another loss in my family. I was in total depression also because the gentleman I had been seeing for nearly a year decided to cut ties with me. All this happened at the same time, and my heart was broken. Then I found Dr.dodogods ’s email, and all my luck turned around – especially because the master did a wonderful spell of Love for me and my dearest companion, who decided he had made a terrible mistake by leaving me. We even took a much-needed vacation. It meant the world to me, and I have you to thank him for me. I send you Prayers posted by.johan

Rockenrich77 on September 21, 2012:

That was a awesome article, in my case it was turned around. It is nice to know and not to guess what is going on. Yes she played and I always tried to make head & tails out of everything but it was IMPOSABLE! That's cool though. I'm flying free. Good Night 2 all and 2 all a good night.

lizzy on September 12, 2012:


sonia on September 06, 2012:

When the man I love broke up with me, my world fell apart. I had gone to several casters and I got no results or insufficient ones. I found and gave another try to retrieve my lover and restore the passionate relationship I had with him. I’m so glad I did and trusted him. He performed a spiritual cleansing to banish negative energies and cast a love spell. After 3days, the man I missed dearly started to call me and told me few days ago that he still loves me and wants to try again. Thank you

Brenda L Rogers on July 29, 2012:

Some very good tips here, thumbs up from me.

It's such a painful feeling when you "Think" you know he's cheating, but you just want 100% proof. If any women here want complete peace of mind, then I highly recommend Edward Talurdey's "Catch a Cheat". Here's the link:


gemgem on June 17, 2012:

i have a baby boy with my boyfriend & i know for a fact he is cheating on me he has done it before when i was 9 months pregnant i don't want to loose my family can any one help me what should i do :(

sanchex on June 13, 2012:

my testimony goes to ultimate spell temple,me and my ex breakup 4 months ago and she told me that she don't love me any more and went to be with another guy.i was still in love with her and need her back i try to get her back but all my effort was in vail until i reach out to the internet for help and i saw a testimony of a spell caster,i decided to give it a try and i contacted him and tell him my problem.He cast a love spell for me and guarantee me of three days that my ex will come back to me and to my greatest suprise my ex come back to me and beg for forgiveness and promise never to live me again,i am so happy my ex is back to me again,thank you ultimate spell for reuniting me and my ex back together again.if you need him to help you Email

wienie on June 04, 2012:

Well what happened to me is I was dating a guy for almost two years. Then I found out his ex girlfriend moved back to our town and started talking to him. She was a really bad influence on him and was ruining such a good relationship that we had. I didn't know what to do and I had tried a few spells in the past from psychics, but none worked to bring him back. When I finally tried from voodoo master the other girl got out of the picture and he came back to me within a week. There are definitely some powerful forces out there that can be a true blessing! The email is contact him and your relationship shall flourish

supermom_in_ny from NY on May 22, 2012:

Amen. I was married to a cheater. It's been 14 years since I walked away and he's still a cheater. Still have to deal with him because we have 4 kids, but I'm glad that I got out of that horrible marriage. Good riddance! ;)

Great hub. Voted up!

Eileen Goodall from Buckinghamshire, England on May 21, 2012:

Dr. Ogun the spellcaster from Temple of love and money? Seriously? Didn't expect this hub to have a punchline in the comments. On more serious note, good hub and as always ..... take care out there.

Kylie on May 02, 2012:

I want to say that my lover left me in Febuary. For few days now I have contacted many casters and bought almost ten spells without results. My ex wouldn't contact me, wouldn't answer my calls and emails. But I never lost hope because I knew we were soul mates. Dr. Ogun cast the most wonderful spell for me 1 week ago and everything has changed since then. We are close to each other again and he is calling me many times everyday. Thank you Dr. Ogun, your help is very appreciated! I will keep in touch with you and any one who desire's help should contact Dr. Ogun for help on this email address:

lola on April 24, 2012:

Hey u all if a person cheats he don't like spells are satanic words to have power over the ..

jonhacc on April 08, 2012:

contact jonhacc at yahoo dot com for your common hacking problems

jonhacc on April 08, 2012:

penetration testing of your website sceurity audit(s) DATABASE RETRIEVAL, HACKING OF WEBSITES & Hacking Accounts which include FACEBOOK,TWITTER this is pretty easy,MYSPACE,SKYPE, OVO .and email accounts such YAHOO,AOL ,HOTMAIL ,GMX,GMAIL AND OTHER EMAIL SERVICES BOTH PRIVATE AND GENERAL i send you a SCREENSHOT.I require either a Name, Friend ID, or E-mail address of the targets account(s)i can also get into BLACKBERRY AND APPLE SMARTPHONES AND OTHER SMART PHONES AND GET VALUABLE DATA. I ALSO SELL SMTP ,LEADS ,PHONE VERIFIED ACCOUNTS (CRAIGLIST,FACEBOOK,EMAILS,) ICAN POST ON CRIAGLIST) I ALSO SELL PAYPALL ACCOUNT, WESTERN UNION PAYOUT INFORMATION I have the help of a current 0-Day Exploit that allows me to gain remote access to the website servers and from there I find the password which is usually in an MD5 hash, from that I must decrypt to get the real password. The entire process takes about 10 minutes-15 hourS to complete. All passwords are tested out 3 times before they get issued to any clients.I also rip Standards from websites.I accept payment through LR (Liberty Reserve) Only.I hardly ever USE WESTERN UNION!


micky on March 22, 2012:

Thank you with all my heart for making all my wishes and dreams come true... My husband plays the horses all the time. You put a spell on him over three months ago. And he came home with $16,000. He won every race and every exacta that day. Thank you spiritual Dr. Messiah for your spell help.

Tim on March 20, 2012:

This is like a manifesto for how to be a complete lunatic. I hope nobody takes this article seriously.....

tina on March 20, 2012:

I've found a great way to catch a cheater out!! My bf was spending more and more time away with work and becoming very protective over his mobile. We were supposed to be getting married and i was very suspicious of his increasinly dodgy behaviour, so i hired someone to test his faithfulness at

I'm really glad i did because within 2 weeks i had solid proof that he was cheating on me - saved me the heartache and expense of a divorce!!!

Jenny on March 19, 2012:

My boyfriend broke up with me last week after two years relationship. We both are in high-school. He told me he no longer in love with me like the way he use to and just wanted us to be friends. I accepted his friendship in order to try and get him back i cried and pleaded for him to give me if i have done anything wrong but he refused. The day after he break up with me I told him that i will never give up on this one. So my friend told me about a temple called this temple helped me to get him back to me and now we are together. All thanks to i am Jenny

carlos on March 17, 2012:

if we have to resolve doubts without hurting me I know if I cheated by monitoring calls and messages from your phone. discretely in its entirety

Download the program in this blog

Trudy on March 16, 2012:

Do the rules change when the cheaing is emotional and not physical. Cheating is cheating but I would like pinions from the group

maria on March 15, 2012:

Well last pasrt, once a cheater always a cheater. I cheated once when i was in my teens and felt so awful about it and never again did i ever do that. So it all depends on the person.

ordermypass on March 15, 2012:

if you want to hack email accounts, use us.

Yahoo hack, facebook hack, msn hack, hotmail hack.

here is the answer

how to hack an email address.

how to find if cheating

Je pense que vous êtes nombreux a vous demander quel est le mdp de votre amie/ami, associer, partenaire de vie, etc.. S`avoir la vérité sur vos proches, vous rassurez que ils ne vous cachent rien. vous avez le droit de s`avoir, de vous rassurez ! pour tous ce qui on besoin de ce genre d`aide je viens a vos secours, n`hésitez pas a nous contactez sur notre mail pour n`importe quel information, nous serons ravis de pouvoir vous aidez

Mich on March 09, 2012:

All i have to say is once a cheater always a cheater. But remember this what goes around comes around.

annoynymus on March 08, 2012:

My boyfriend has cheated on me before about a year ago he went to prison for it the girl said he raped her its a long story but he was released without charges because the girl was a lier and wanted to make him pay her 6000 pound. anyway a couple of days ago i found 2 condoms in his room. i asked him what they were for he said for me and him. i believed him and then the next time i went to his apartment they were gone. i then had a strange feeling to go look in the bins and i did and i found the condom from before the wrapper without the condom and no sign of the other one and the blue pill he had before in his room. i confronted him straight away and i was shaking and felt traumatised from last year i couldn't stop crying and i wanted to go. he was stopping me and said its not me that used it etc i said whose is it then. and he said after 10 mins of me crying and trying to go tht he let some guy use his room and he mustve used it but i said wheres the other condom and pill then. he said he didn't know. i felt so brocken that i wanted to believe him but i dont know anymore. please tell me your opinion many thanks

ordermypass on March 08, 2012:

if you want to hack email accounts, use us.

Yahoo hack, facebook hack, msn hack, hotmail hack.

here is the answer

how to hack an email address.

how to find if cheating

Je pense que vous êtes nombreux a vous demander quel est le mdp de votre amie/ami, associer, partenaire de vie, etc.. S`avoir la vérité sur vos proches, vous rassurez que ils ne vous cachent rien. vous avez le droit de s`avoir, de vous rassurez ! pour tous ce qui on besoin de ce genre d`aide je viens a vos secours, n`hésitez pas a nous contactez sur notre mail pour n`importe quel information, nous serons ravis de pouvoir vous aidez

Rita on March 06, 2012:

here i come with a good news, of this is man that just help me with a money spell, now i fill like and the richest woman in my state, i have been scam by many fake spell casters i have lose 5760dollars since i have being looking for help, a friend of my direct me to this man and finally he is the man that help me with the money spell if you needs is help this the contact email

trappedinsilentpanic on March 05, 2012:

he's cheating on me. i've known for a while. but tonight i found out its more then sex. they say, " i love you" i wonder if she knows about me, the girlfriend hes had for four years and has told none of his friends that he likes it in the but. im such a loser for staying. a coward for not telling him i know everything, including that she's a tranny. im stuck. trapped in silent panic

lonesome me on March 02, 2012:

hi, my boyfriend is away taking a course, for 6 wks. I am going there to visit him half way through his stay, so he told me the other evening, a fella he's met was joking with him and told him he was gonna tell me about the little red head at the coffee shop he visits.... When we talk on the cell, everyday, I ask him where he is at he says he parked across the rd from the coffee shop. Am I being paranoid? I also found adult sites on his computer and a dating adult site? If hes not cheating does he intend too??? any suggestions????

SARAH on March 01, 2012:


I never thing there is a tear spell cast, 3 week ago my boyfriend brake up. it all sited when are Trever to UK jest to speed and holiday wit my aunt in UK i lest my phone,i was trying to contact him but it was not going tear i treed all when i Gert back for Trever i meant a lady on our matrimonial room, then i ask him who Eal she to you him tun back act me and cane led that she is a friend,but i sloe you kissing her than himsited beating me calling me all kind of name, that is not interned in me. so all the same all think to temple of love. him help me cast a spell on him and now ex is back to me again. thank you so much and your good work. you contact he on or vist

GRIGS on February 26, 2012:


I was in a confused situation my girl broke up with me because she loved another guy and while we were going out she were going out with him too,, we’r still really good friends but that was not of my best until i cast a love spell for har to love me more and more she always love me now and never think of that guy again this contact of the spiritual hillar dr bunt contact is so sweet and real....

GRIGS on February 26, 2012:


I was in a confused situation my girl broke up with me because she loved another guy and while we were going out she were going out with him too,, we’r still really good friends but that was not of my best until i cast a love spell for har to love me more and more she always love me now and never think of that guy again this contact of the spiritual hillar dr bunt contact is so sweet and real....

Kristi on February 24, 2012:

That was a little much lol

Alicia on February 24, 2012:

This is mental. You have a suspicion he's cheating, and then you do ridiculous things like look for things like 'sex stains, female hairs' in his car, under the seats. It's obsessive.

Women are naturally jealous, and to use a little normal suspicion like this will only push him away because you're being too overbearing.

I say this as another woman: awful advice.

Mark on February 23, 2012:

I truly believe that this was a biast post by somebody who let there own personal experience get the best of them. Ask yourself this, is every guy in the world the same? Then why categorize them all in the same way. Did you notice my question was retoricle or however you spell it? It is a proven fact for in the most part woman are a more emotional, insecure, and jealous species. ( Anyway my advice to you woman who read this is that there are some good points and advice in this post, but to blatantly break it off because of suspicion sounds ignorant to me. You might end up making biggest mistake of your life. Can anyone see how this was biast yet? Anyway good luck to both sexes and always respect yourself and demand the same in return.

sounsure on February 23, 2012:

If u want to look through his mail without getting in trouble phone him/her and say ow you have a letter here im not sure what it is.. it looks important and they might just ask you to open it!! Any way i think my boyfriend is cheatin iv just had a baby and if i don't have sex with him he gets so pissed off with me but it still hurts and then he makes nasty remarks under his breath like ok fine just don't wonder why... what the hell is that supposed to mean!! hes also a bit secretive with his phone! He was on his internet bankin the other day and i sat next to him and he turned his laptop away and told me to f*** off some times he's on his laptop till early hours!! Is he cheatin or just a prick...... He trys making me think im crazy

now what on February 15, 2012:

so, I know that he is living a double life in another city. Do I tell her the truth about us?

Female on February 14, 2012:

i have a problem. I think that my husband is cheating on me. i tried contacting the girl in question but the reaction from my man was anger. evening treating to leave me if i dare to contact his friends again. he says he will do what ever he wants and i cant stop him. now he begins to clear all the massages on his phone and were ever he is going, even to bathroom his phone is with him. is all because i wont be able to have access to his friends in question. what should i do in this situation?

vunerablebbydoll on February 09, 2012:

communication doesn't help (they lie and find ways to prove you are just paranoid or worse shout and stomp around) and snooping doesn't help (theres never anything incriminating). i guess you either put up n shut up or live a lifelong lonely single existance to avoid being hurt. being with mines put me on anti-anxiety meds i stress out constantly about whether hes lying or not but cant really talk to him about it out of fear of him getting angry (my ex was violent). i don't know whether its my mental health and hes a good guy or its 'intuition' that makes me so paranoid about being cheated on?

haha on February 07, 2012:

This is dumb... i'm going to cheat on women MORE after reading this, now that I know how hard they will try to stop me, it will be that more entertaining to just cheat! Also, I think it will be a good way to find out of my women is a nut case or not. If she is doing anything that you suggested I can assume she is a nut case and just start dating the women I am cheating with full time... your dumb lady.

Rachel on February 01, 2012:

You are nutcase... I have a life & bills... I don't have time to check all my own emails or texts... Let alone someone elses. Grow the hell up and stop hacking into emails and social networking sites. You just shouldn't date at all.

dj on January 27, 2012:

These are all good SUGGESTIONS and good places to start looking, they are not straight answers that someone is cheating. I do over half of those items on that list and I don't cheat.....although my circumstances with work and such are not the norm

micheal on January 19, 2012:

i was passing through a very semen leakage i try allot of doctor, they all prove abortive, i try some many drugs but i still feel that pains, i read a wonderful comment on healing site when and America man

was giving a testimony concerning how a powerful spell caster who healed him from semen leakage, i quickly contacted the spell caster and explian the issues concerning my semen leakage and PE.

he told me not to worry that at 11:59 mid night when all the spirit is at rest cast a powerful spell to heal me from my deseases. and he really did and i feel something inside my body and consulted the doctors and they confirm that the illness has gone.

i,m so happy thanks to INDIANSPELL@YAHOO.COM for healing me from semen leakage and PE. Dr Shant Tami you are the best doctor healer in the world you can reach him via: INDIANSPELL@YAHOO.COM and you we see your own healing.

nika on January 17, 2012:

I think he's cheating at work...

Linda Rose on January 14, 2012:

Did you know that spells are proven to deliver the fastest results over any othim spell caster? Fact: success and excellent customer support is the reason why was voted the best spell caster of 2008 and 2009 by the Certified Spell Casters Association. Highest Success Rate and Best in Customer Satisfaction

beauty on January 13, 2012:

i found used condoms in the bin i confronted him about them and he denies they are his.and now recently his been receiving calls every night some he answers pretending as it is his work friends but you can hear is a woman's voice

but he is always home,but on Fridays they knocking off early and he will tell me they have extended the time.

he always lie to me about things,i don't know what to do i don't want to live him because i love him what should i do

mata on January 12, 2012:

you ask yourself: i thing he is cheating on me

I think many of you ask yourself, what if i had the password of my friend / girlfriend / boyfriend, associate, life partner, etc. .. to know the truth about your near partner, and reassuring that they do not hide you something.

You have the right to be reasured !

For all that are in need of this kind of services We come to your aid, feel free to contact us on our mail for any information, we will be happy to help you

"Owning the information, means having the power "

getmypassword .tk/

John on November 25, 2011:

Im deployed and i worry all the time about my gf cheating all the time cuz she goes out to the clubs with her slutty friends. How the hell can i fix this?

tom on November 21, 2011:

great post

Alexis on September 03, 2011:

That is the best advice I've ever had. But my boyfriend and I are only 14. What would happen then? How would I know?

Jess on August 24, 2011:

NO just because someone THINKS someone is cheating doesn't mean they ARE. It's one thing to just suspect cheating because your paranoid, depressed, have anxiety problems, have been cheated on in the past or whatever. It's totally another thing to actually have evidence of cheating. I've been accused on cheating by multiple boyfriends in the past and I have NEVER cheated once. I'm sure the same thing goes for many guys.

Lisa on August 20, 2011:

The big problem with the cheater is that once you suspect they change their behavior and then you are lead to believe you're a crazy person. When I found the whores phone numbers he said all he did was "make phone calls" and honestly, how can I prove otherwise? It's not like I was there. He said all men look at porn and that I was making a fuss about nothing but when I found deleted cookies to sex hook up sites and web cam sites he said he had no idea how it got there and that this stuff just loads on your computer when you visit a porn site. That does sometimes happen so how can I prove otherwise? If I push the issue I am a hysterical nag accusing him of something with no proof. The feeling of powerlessness and helplessness is overwhelming. If one had proof then you know you aren't crazy and even if you cannot leave at least you can protect your emotional health from his manipulative crap. You can write the relationship off even if you cannot leave it due to money issues and start planning ahead for the day when you could possibly leave. It's important to know the truth if for no other reason then to not feel like a fool.

Sick of platitudes on August 20, 2011:


I found my man cheating about a year and half ago. He still denies it even though I found him at sex sites on the computer and whores numbers on his phone. Since then he stopped using the computer and now uses a library computer because he doesn't want me "spying" on him. He also clears his call log/browsing history on his phone so there is never anything. I found an ATM receipt that was suspicious to me and confronted him. Now he destroys all receipts so I have nothing. I do not want relationship advice, only information about how to discover things. Please spare me the "just leave" garbage. It's none of your business why I stay. I just want to know what I am dealing with so I can protect myself.

julie on August 08, 2011:

I had all of those suspicions and feelings from my boyfriend that he was cheating on me, from day 1 only wanting to see me on the days he wanted not on any other day or time i wanted to see him,and when he was with me he would have his phone on silent and always have his phone in his pocket,and always left the next day at the same time,its as if he had a double life and i started to believe he had enougher women,then after my nagging and moaning he moved in with me and was with me every night and day,but when he said he was just popping out to the shops he was gone for at least an hour when the shop was only 4mins away,and never wanted me to go when i asked if i could go with him he always made excuses,i started to check his phone when he was asleep,all these numbers came up that id never seen before as he only had few friends and family,i started to believe he was seeing prositutes,so i had set up his phone so i could spy on his every call, texts,and even hear him just as if he was sitting next to me when he was so far away from me and i was so sure that i would prove to myself so right in less then a week with this magic phone that my man was cheating on me all along,as i must have drove the man crazy with all my nagging questions and no evidence,but didn't believe any of his answers, so this was it im gona be single when i find out that my man was cheating on me all this time as i was lead to believe for the 2yrs 2gether, the weeks and months pasted and a year bugging his every move still him going out on his own just like he aways had done,but just to disapoint my mental paranoid mind once again hoping and waiting to prove myself so bloody right, that my man was to good to be true just because the way he acted walked or talked or didn't talk and i made his life hell, he couldn't wait to get 5mins of fresh air abit of freedom and space just driving in his car that's all he had ever done or went just a bit of free time for himself and never once had he cheated on me and im very surprised i never lost him such a good man who loves and adores me and his only crime in his eyes was he was just being him self,i no longer use the spy phone as i now trust my man but if i hadn't used it im sure we wouldn't be 2gether as i would have drove him away or dumped him for my own paranoid reasons.

a child once in a middle of this on July 23, 2011:

it was just last year memorial day, may 31st 2010, my mom was suspecting my dad being all weird and all on vacation with an employee's family coming along. but every day since then, he and this employee kept seeing each other, my mom checked up on him every few days to see what was going on. my mom and dad owned a business. but the employee's alwasys weird. she cooks for us (although my mom makes the best meals), she usually wears slutty clothes, and she visits our house every day. then one day my dad came home without the house key and i found out that he gave the house key to our employee. uh-oh was my mom's reaction, although she had not one single idea why my dad was acting all weird. my mom ordered my dad to change ALL of the locks in our house, in case our employee creeped over here in the middle of the night and kill me or something (i was scared then...), so he did, but still continued the phone calls and late night works and whatnots! my dad soon quitting kissing/hugging my mom, quit sitting on the same couch with her, and they had arguments all summer long! my mom was threatening my dad that she was going to leave FOREVER. and my sister started crying, and they just yelling LOUDER and LOUDER. until i RAISED my voice so loud that they could hear me. my dad went outside to smoke a cigar, and my mom just sat outside crying. afterwards, a few months... like THANKSGIVING 2010, he invited the employee over and was like hugging her like ALL THE TIME in front of my mom. but i was like DAD, YOU'RE SO WEIRD... but he didn't care. by the time it was a week before Christmas. my dad started complaining that he was always broke, and i was like BUT YOU OWN A BUSINESS, AND IT'S ALWAYS BUSY. SO THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE. whatever was what he said. my mom found out two days before Christmas, but my dad wouldn't admit until like 16 hours later. he called up the employee and fired her. straight up. but of course, my mom and my dad are still together, although sometimes my mom still doesn't trust if and makes me go along with my dad everywhere we go (except the bathroom... because i am a girl) just to make sure he doesn't just caught up in the cheating act again.

fashion on July 22, 2011:

Great hub.once a cheater always a cheater.The best thing to do is to communicate and find out why the partner is cheating..Man is by nature polygamous, and this stage really comes to a man .

Great work.

lerato on July 08, 2011:

Some men are cheates. I hate men who pretend to be all innocent only to discover how evil their itentions are. I believe in pay back. MY MISSION IS MAKE THEM FEEL HOW IT FEELS TO BE CHEATED ON.YOU BREAK MY HEART I WILL BREAK YOURS.

chaz on May 02, 2011:

this is crap advice.

randal on April 27, 2011:

All men cheat. if you love him then stay with him anyway. Or be with someone you don't love and be cheated also

lashaunda on April 14, 2011:

this is real Im going to take this in to considerration. look at more stuff more clearly.

kikaa on April 13, 2011:

Avtar Dhami 38 of Sacramento Ca is a big cheater he is married and cheats on his wife.and have too many girlfriends.he is not satisfied with one person and his event planner bitch give him std.

amy on January 30, 2011:

hi guys i recently had suspected my fiancé of 5 yrs of being unfaithful to me no proof of course an he was always home with me so how did he do it?????

Well don't follow him to work and all this other crap don't waste money on a P.I do not go thru his fone its useless they will delete everything i decided i will buy a new sim card for my other phone with out him knowing well i msged him pretending to be a russian girl named dina aleksandrov made up name lol i made a voicemail got a russian friend he didn't know to record the voicemail with her accent send a few flirty texts see what he does he actually cam home and told me a strange girl was msging him but when he showed me he only showed me 2 msgs lil did he know i know how many were really sent i acted happy n cheerful very hard to do the next day i sent pics as he requested i got pics of google or u could get a girl u talk to that he don't know to get pics taken an send them he actually set a date told me he was going to his mums to help with the lawns as soon as he left i went to the place he was suppose to meet her suprise suprise he was there waiting i could see him he couldn't see me i sent a txt off my phone saying well well well do u do this all the time u will not catch them in act but close enough they r waiting for this chick to have sex with plus you have convos of him lying and saying wat he wants to do with this chick.. so advice so it ur self its easy simple an u def catch them or if u wanna be smart actually get a mate of urs he don't know or friend of ur siblings to actually meet him tell her to play along an wait 10 mins after they r in car togetheer n walk up to car ur self n see wats going on also works for men that suspect their missus of cheating....

Debbierey6 on January 14, 2011:

One thing I have learned by being in a relationship for ten years, (we are not married), is #1 it doesn't matter if you are Angelena Jolie, or Paris Hilton, or the most beautiful women in the world. Men WILL cheat! It is in their nature! They simply can not refuse the act of sex, whether from you or another woman! #2 NEVER, i mean NEVER, accuse them without definate proof. I am talking

pictures or even videos!You HAVE to catch them in the act

or else you will fighting a losing battle Feelings or signs that you're partner is cheating are NOT enough! He will deny deny deny, and turn everything around on you! Tell his family and friends that you are crazy, bla bl bla! I am saying this from experience y'all ! Trust me !and Good Luck !

sully410 from California on January 13, 2011:

I'm totally going thru this right now. Got married last April, didn't really know him, just had his baby and my 11-year old is totally in love with her new dad, I learned he had porn issues while pregnant and he behaves very secrerive lately with the phone and his work. Now I just gottta come up with an exit plan...thanks for this article and the comments.

wife is mad on January 10, 2011:

I never thought anything until my husband left his phone on counter and went to work out.He always had a password on but this time i could see the phone wasn't locked,Lets just say it didn't take long to find text messages from multiple numbers that were extremely explicit.I decided to a search on the numbers,most of them came up anonamous but was able to find one that matched 954 899 5683 or ironically 954 899 love.I come to find out this hooker has been getting cash from my husband for a long time and playing him while he was playing me.I am glad i can vent on this site although i have been helping to make her life a living hell like mine.I found out her identity julia m rabolli a realtor by day i suppose and a hooker whenever some asshole pays her to suck or f.... or god only knows what.Anyways i find out shes a nova student and payed a p.i. to watch my asshole husband and her.lets just say her school,her work,her family and anyone i can find knows who she really is now and my husband has his coming also.Im gonna hit him where it really counts,his wallet.p.s. for any other wives out there the irs loves to know about these prostitutes and getting cash without reporting it.I think I am going to write a how to get even manual if anyone is interested.Ill let everyone know when Im finsihed writing it.

I was cheated on.. on January 09, 2011:

Yes, I stalked him. No, I am not in Junior High but what many "happy" women don't realize is that us, with the strong intuition, simply have to know, because we are vulnerable, in love, blind etc. If you don't know for sure and you give him a chance to talk to you, he will manipulate you no matter how smart of a person you are. Why- because you are in love, don't see yourself without him, and are afraid of staying alone. Because of all of these factors we need to know for sure what's going on. My guy has also told me how he finally met the right person, we clicked, i am his destiny, i will have his child, yet, on the other hand, he has been communicating with so many other females from the beginning of the relationship. I went through his phone records, was also able to find a caller id to see whose numbers they were- i was in shock but, who wouldn't be?

This just happened to me and I feel sick to my stomach. I feel that I am not lovable- that a guy needs more than just me. I blame myself, but, then again when I think about it I also realize that he is cheating, not me. Why? I don't know. I would love to know why men cheat but still stay in the relationship.

I am simply confused but I know that I will be able to move on now- not right away when it comes to my emotions, but eventually it will happen.

lizzDRO on December 31, 2010:

I think it is ridiculous that you people actually think that it is perfectly fine to basically "STALK" your significant other! I have been with my boyfriend for almost five years and he has NEVER cheated. Maybe I am just lucky?

But if you suspect a cheater, don't be a psycho about it... LEAVE! Let's not act like we're in junior high... Seriously.

IF and WHEN a person is truly in love, their love is STRONG and to love someone you must TRUST them, so if you don't trust them, you obviously don't know the REAL meaning of love!!

People say all the time, even people I am not FRIENDS with, that it is not possible for my fiancé to have not cheated on me... That we've been together so long, and I say "I don't know what kind of relationships YOU'VE been in, but I'm 100% positive he isn't cheating on me. Yes, we've been together for a good amount of time.. But ever since we met back in high school we dated. We lost our virginity's to each other. We simply fell in love. Our love is genuine and I am lucky enough to know that he isn't cheating."

It doesn't make me BLIND it makes me PROUD.

LOVE IS TRUST... Idiots (:


Charmaine on December 20, 2010:

My female intuition tells me my boyfriend is cheating. He gets sms'es and then keeps the screen closed away from sight when he replies, and then quickly deletes the messages. He keeps his phone off when he's home, and it's password protected.

What else can it be?

dotty1 from In my world on December 18, 2010:

fab hub.... arghhh I am agreeing with the 'if you suspect then he propbably is ' thing ...female intuition is a powerfull tool...yeeas i hear u men yawn, however it has never let me down..Don't get me wrong there are naughty ladies out there too, but I am and always will be when men continue to lie and cause pain then plead undying love, why do it to yourself love? gorden bennet its hard enough to find a mate that dosent irritate you so why mess up?? don't be greedy boys

confused on December 09, 2010:

well i did it guys, i ended the relationship!!

i told him about the baby too, and we've sorted a reasonable thing that we can both work to. we talked like adults for our own good.

i just wanna say to every girl or boy that believes there in a cheating relationship, look at the picture clearly and don't look into anything without a clear mind!! things can easily start from nothing, then your mind can explode with silly things.

if you want to do something about the cheating relatinship then ask yourself are you 100% sure the other half is cheating? if yes, then think if you confront the partner can it turn violent? if no, then go ahead and do what you think is best!! leave!! if yes, take more time to think, where you going to go? is there other people involved, i.e children ... make sure you can go somewhere safe!!

but if anyone has ready what i have put, then just have faith in yourself, you can do it. its better when its over and done with ... you never know your partner might even realised what they have lost!!

never give up on relationships just because your previous one was bad, remember there is someone who will love you back and not do anything to hurt you!!

my love goes out to all the people who are confused, upset and hurt. things can only get better for you!!

love confused xxx

confused on December 03, 2010:

"sophie, it brings tears to my mind every time i think about it, every night i lay their lieing next to him wondering what the hell im supposed to do ...

for everyone that has read my story, i still haven't told him, but its getting harder to lie about me being pregnant! the sickness is kicking in the tireness and the mood swings.

but i still love him, but i know i cant say with him.

Sophie on December 03, 2010:

"confused" i read your story and it really broght tears to my don't deserve a man like that...What he's doing is WRONG and you should not stay any longer with him,no matter how much it hurts...i know because i have a daughter 2 year old with my fiancé and i suspect that maybe he has cheated on me after 4 years that we've been together...the reason im suspecting him is because i heard a conversation with his friend...even though i search for evidence i havent found anything..

LEAH on November 27, 2010:


confused on November 21, 2010:

i don't know what to do ... ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and were trying for a baby! but something just isn't right, i can feel it. the past couple of months hes been working more and more late nights and early morning (hes a personal trainer) ... i ask him where you going, he says hes got a client =/ ... things bother me, like when we go out with his mates he says if they ask were just mates and i always ask why and he makes an excuse up, he can tell it hurts me but he doesn't change it, "were just makes" what a LIE!! also he has recently put a password on his phone, he doesn't know but i know his password ... and i looked, wish i didn't now but i checked his call log, he phones, he received and has missed call off these women, not only that i checked his messages, the same women he has messages off. i read them and its clear he is totally flirting with them, but not only that leading them on ... he has pictures of his penis on his phone, ive never ever seen this pictures, he hasn't even sent them me.he has picture messages saved off these girls too ... i can see why, there goregous and not me! ... then ill look the next day and the messages and phone calls have been deleted =/ .... recently he has been saying we spend to much time together (we live together) and now every friday and saturday he leaves me to go out with his "mates" ... well one night he texted me saying "im sat at the other side of the bar, theres a path to it, walk in through the enterence and follow it round, ill be waiting for you xxxxxx" ... i rang him right away, shocker he didn't answer.... i relapied "wrong person" .. he then texted me right back saying what you on about wrong person, i replied saying you damn right know what im on about, if your meeting another girl, let me know and ill pack up and leave ... he didn't replie me until he got home and came straight into bed for cuddles, i hate that when you know hes been with someone else because you can smell there tartish perfume!! ... tears were running down my face!!

i confronted him many times, to see if he would admit what hes doing ... no luck!! what a shock!! i remember when we first starting dating/going out he use to ask me if i was cheating on him, he know i would never do that because of my past relationships! he feed me the line "you know i would never hut or lie to you, i would never cheat i know how it feels and you mean the world to me, i am the luckiest person on the planet to have an amazing trusting girlfirend like you, i cant wait to have a family and getting married, i love you" ... then everything i use to get things like this, i use to think how stupid am i, of course hes not cheating ... im such a dumb ass, the feeling that he was cheating never went away...

well the shocker is, im pregnant with his child!! i haven't told him ... ive been really distent with him recently i need time to think, should i put myself throught this any longer, or should i leave? should i bring a such an amazing thing into the this world knowing that the babys dad is a lier and would hurt it as much as he has to me.

i dunno what to do, i love him so much and don't want to be with anyone else, he means the world to me! stupid i know,

i need help, any comments would be 100% helpful. men and women please replie soon as possible!!

UDHTK1212 on October 31, 2010:

Hey guys, i kinda need some help. one month ago i started to have this feeling that he's cheating on me. He started to hang out a lot of his friends, let me go out with my friends withoun investigating me and i found a way to reach to his cell phone i found 2 messages from someone called Rony (man) but the messages were flirting words and love and bla bla so i took the number called it and there it was a girls voice. i confronted him, the messages were gone and he told me he's never seen those messages and the number belong to his co-worker Rony w he hasn't talked to him a long time ago. i asked one of his friends to give me Rony's phone number and i called him, he said he had the number and he's sold it. i don't know if the man who answered me is really Rony. i re-called the woman i told her i read her messages, she apologized and said she sent it to the wrong number she meant the 6 instead of 9. so i asked a friend who work in the phone company to check me the # that ends with 6 he told me it doesn't exist and my boyfriend keep denying and swearing and over-reacting. what should i do? how can i get him?

parkersarah8415 from USA on October 17, 2010:

Well, most of the things are correct and possible, but others are less likely to be caused by cheating. Nice hub!

Sucker on October 04, 2010:

OK...I have caught my man two times. The first time was a little after we moved in together, At first he would just act a little distant...and the sex got less and less, Then he started accusing me of cheating on him w/ one of my long time friends, Eventually he started picking fights w/ me, and leaving for the night and turning his cell off before he got home. I never stalked him, I never went through his phone, I really didn't even question him on anything, The only time I even mentioned it was one evening while we was fighting over my so called infidelity I let him know that I was not cheating on him with anyone, and I do notice all of the changes in him, and that a suspicous mind is the sign of a guilty heart. I said that I am not going to drive myself Crazy thinking about what I know he is doing, and when the time is right for me to find out God will let me know. Well the very next night at work I check my Email and there is a message from my sister Subject- FWD I'm Sorry, I thought you should know!

It was a forwarded message from my sisters Myspace. A woman in my town giving me dates and times that he was out with her...Telling me she was with him in my house while I was out of town taking care of my sis, Gave me details of my home down to the color of my sheets and her phone #!!! I call her, we talk for a little while and get more information...PROOF...!!!! GOD IS GOOD!!!! I print out the Email, and then call him...DENILE!!! they only kissed, She was only in the house one time, she didn't even go into the Bedroom.She's only doing this because after they kissed he felt bad and cut it off with her and SHE'S Psycho!!! Well here's to all you ladies who believe that if you just ask they will tell you, Given the right proof-WRONG WRONG WRONG They will lie straight to your face until the day they DIE!!!! Needless to say I stay with him. BRAINDAMAGE!!!!

The second time-I had noticed all the same signs (that's another thing ladies, Most of the time they do not switch it up to much...They're not that creative) So I mentioned my feelings to him on more than one him the opportunity to confess...No Luck! I did try to go online and look up our phone records and the password had been changed...Hmmm...So I asked him about it he said That he changed his cause I had changed I didn't...any way I waited and let it go for some time, and one night out of nowhere it popped in my head that I should try to check our phone records again, Somehow God Bless it I was able to access the records on my line YAY! Found out he had been having long conversations, I'm talking like up to 3hr phone conversations, in the middle of the night while I was at work...I work 3rd shift. and it all started the 2nd night I was in the Hospital..Sweet Right!!! and carried on through the holidays Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, My Birthday, Valentines Yeah I now know why he sharted a fight and stayed out all night Christmas!!! But I am a sucker and am still with him cause right now I really don't have anywhere else to go, where he can't find us...Did I mention we have a 9 year old daughter together? I am just sharing my story to maybe help other women, If you think hes cheating, he shows the signs and you feel it in your heart...He is and will most likely never admit to it so if you can get out DO IT!!!! cause he will do it again!!!!

me on September 27, 2010:

uh this is ridiculous. every clear thinking woman knows that if they catch their man cheating on them it means that he's giving her a free pass to cheat on him as well. so actually its a good thing because then you can have an entire harem of men and he'll never have the right to say anything about it


daisy on August 20, 2010:

Interesting hub, thank you!

jojojojojojo on August 08, 2010:

I live in london and my boyfriend lives about 100 miles away. I went to see him and found condoms on his bedside table (he went out clubbing the night before) and also he had condoms in his wallet all unopened. He had no plausable excuse and stated he kept them incase I have a period. We don't use condoms. He then said as long distance relationship he uses them to masturbate in to protect sheets. I told him do you know how ridiculous you sound.... He also went on a boys night out in another city and stayed in a hotel. I could not get hold of him until the next afternoon. Phone kept ringing but he never answered. His excuse no network. PLEASE this is the UKs next largest city after London he went to. Now we fight all the time and I get all stressed when he going on night out with guys without me as I live 100 miles away. He becoming more distant etc. Says he lowes me but does not feel that way at all. I know it sounds a ridiculous question but love is blind and you don't want to believe it but is he cheating on me?

kittycat on July 25, 2010:

I am going through this now, i think my husband is having an affair. I have looked everywhere and have found nothing, computer (history has been deleted, call logs deleted. I have confronted him on it more then once and he says that he is not. I told him i want his cell phone/text logs and i gave him until monday (tomorrow). Never second guess your intuition, it is more then likely correct. AND the only reason i even suspected him cheating is because i have heard a few partial conversations between him and his 18 year old son.

Little Girl on July 04, 2010:

To Loveely Do Do,

I understand your feeling, you got the same where i was before my ex. is cheated on me that he unmarried and have no one in his life since 2004 its truth that he never married but he have someon

anonymous 02 on July 01, 2010:

You so hit home if you have a feeling that he is cheating follow your instincts. My first husband cheated when, I was in the hospital having our son. He was late and guess where?? I still don't know and really don't care. I had this burning urge to pick up the phone and I questioned why would I want to do that and it was a feeling that continued until, I picked up the phone and hit redial and the other woman was on the line! Unfortunately, my mom was just leaving or I'd left with her and never looked back but, I stayed and he became abusive and more suspicious! I finally left but, I waited til, I absolutely hated him even today after, 21 yrs he makes me sick to my stomach on a good and funny note he's ugly as hell and I still look good and young! He tells my son that, I was the only good woman that, he ever had and everybody else has cheated on him! Can we say life is a bitch and him crushing on me makes me ill! barffffff! Ladies what goes around comes around! They will eventually want you back and please for laughing purposes give them the cold shoulder and move on even if it's mr. right now, move on, mr right now doesn't mean sleep with them by the way male friendship is good! I don't put up with shit now!

loveely dodo on July 01, 2010:

Sometimes, i get so upset about cheating talk but it is essential we discuss it. I am in Love with this married man who's wife resides in different country. he lied about him being unmarried and i discover after 5 months later. He is a renounce cheater. He is a university professor and he even sleeps with the students. I carried food for him one morning and caught him in bed with another woman. I have lost all love i havefor him but I am stuck because he helps to pay my masters program fees. please advice me. so depressed and confused.

Alexandra on June 27, 2010:

i felt sick reading this,

when you are in a relationship

you don't have doubts that end like this,

with you stalking and going behind his back.

if you DO act like this, then you are NOT in a

relationship. when you are in a relationship you

DO NOT act like this, because relationships are built

on love, respect and trust. this "guide" I would say

lacks some kind of love showing to your significant other, no respect, and no trust at all.

IF you think hes cheating on you,

just ask him (if you have any proof that's good I quess, but if you're just feeling that he has been different lately, then just tell him that), tell him how you feel - VERY exact.

Love and respect people,

/ Alexandra L.

Little girl on June 12, 2010:

Amanda, your story is not much different from mind, but just one different is you are together, for mind we are far from each other since i wait him to petition to be with. On sunday last two week, he still on phone with me and told me babe i will call u back on 10pm at ur time but since then i never hear from him again, once again on Tuesday morning i call him but i hear women voice said he with her already. But before this he alie me that he have no one before that's why i'm engage with him. But once i heard the story from lady she said she being with him for more than 10 years already but they just not do the marriage certificate. I'm really shock to hear that since my date interview nearly arrived. I asked for talking with him but she said he crazy right now, he have no job but i knew he still but he just not go to work. in total i realize what he told me all are cheating, i wonder is p

Jen on June 12, 2010:

Well what about if you have Trust issues but u are suspicious someone is cheating on u?? Is it your intuition or paranoia

Amanda on June 02, 2010:

Hey girl listen to me very carefully, YOU HAVE NO FUTURE WITH THIS "MAN". And please please use protection from now on. Its either drugs, women, or he has completely lost intrest in you. The lame excusses shows that he doesent care one iota about his behavior and how its hurting you. And he shows complete lack of respect hopefully he's not violent. Leave quietly if so.

My Story:

I was single for about 3yrs and loveing it. However I think some ladies know where Im coming from when I say that it can get old after a while,(fighting off the 5-1 ratio mentioned previously) finding that in our quest for the perfect husband who will treat us all like our daddies did when we were princesses, becomes more and more of a fairytale. Everytime I met a guy not all but most it was the "hey mamma wooty woot woo lem'me holla at you",you look good blah blah blah, OH WAIT, I wont f*k U on the first day so F*k me right. Ok. I kinda got this bad tast in my mouth of a man. Calling them as i see them, "cheater" "liar" "dead beat dad" even the ones with girlfriends. I relized like all women, find the best one I can, were my princess costume while tailoring his crown for king.

And that's what happened, love at first sight! It was amazing, taking me places iv never been, fillin my head with concepts i hadent heard befor, family loves and approves of him, and he dident mind THE CHASE, although I dident put much of one on, still lightyears away from "sup im sean" tiffany dident say she had a homegirl".

Anyway, the next two years go by fast, he's my hero, my hole world, he is my prince charming in real life, the man i thought i had always heard and dreamed about, girls you know if you've been in love, but hes starting to tell white lies, more often, and the lies start getting bigger somehow. And to more people, until one time at 2am, this powerfull urge for a ciggerett comes, he says verbae' hey hunnie im just gonna go ahead and go to the store for a pack of cigs, ill be back in 20mins. Ok, i say, go ahead, be carefull, (tha poe poe) I love you, he says iight be back in 20 mins, mind you i walk to this store from time to time when i feel a little froggy somedays and its only 3 blocks down the street. 20min turns into 45......1hr, not trippin yet, because hes been kinda playing with me like this, ya know 10min late one time 30 the next, whatever. He came home right befor i had to leave to work at 7am. He has our only car, after wreaking my truck, them my nissan, then my crown vic, and a rental car in between, w/no job. you cant describe the lividness, if that's a word. Complete silence for the next 24hrs, no call on lunch, I finally asked, wtf in this gd mf world do you gotta f'n do for 4 hrs in the weeeee hrs of the f'n morning. It was on. however never in the smallest corner of my mind would i have thought that he would do what he did next. I never was hit as a child, hard enough to anyway remember, I had a few runs with females but, never a man, and he dident just do it, he kept doing it. All in all, after that i was no longer the same person i was, After the i love yous and im sorry and fake tears of apology down his cheecks convinced my stupid dumb ass to feel bad for him, and share some of the blame on myself. I never belived a word that came out of is mouth from then on.

but i want to, because he wants me to.

and now im in a cycle where, i am soooo lost in trying to desperatly to find the truth, somewhere, i have lost a piece of my mind, saintity for sure, but mostly the other half of my life, I still love him, I still want him, i want to be the one that makes him happy,

I worrie about if he's cheating on me with women, but what do i do if its not girls but drugs. I don't see myself leaving him so if you have advice please have some i can use.

scaredhurt on May 15, 2010:

i think my botfriend of a year is cheatin and we have a daughter and one on the way...why i think this well for one the sex has changed he is either "not fillin good" or "just not in the mood" he left the go to two stores it would be mabe an hour trip if you use the excuse he did " got lost in krogers" he was gone for four and a half hours ( both stores are 5 mins for the house)the day my daughter was born he went to clean his car out and take a shower ( just used the water and took the trash out when i called 2 and a half hours later he was just gettin to the appt. ( 20 in from the hospital) he forgot it was Valentine's Day and went to get me something from the dollor tree and then said he was goin to his dads ( was gone all day ) we didn't even have sex he don't play with our lil girl like he used to he. when we do have sex its done i about two min ( not even kiddin i timed it ) so i don't know they say if you accuse then they will cheat so i don't but my gut and every one eles says differintly this passed christmas we tried to have a three some with my close friendcause he wanted it ( it was supposed to be them on me) well it was him on her and me in the floor feelin like shit it took him 30 min to even notice it was botherin me he look at her the way he used to look at me that's when things changed he was just fine with her ( my frined) stayin with us until about tow or three months after that then he wanted her out BAD so i need some advice please tell me what u think if you don't want to relpay on here e-mail me at please give me your feed back

Heartbroken on April 25, 2010:

I have been married for what would be 19 years this year. I was 16 when we met, he was 18. We got married 2 years later. He has owned his own business for 4 years now. 3 years ago, he got an office in a building, and that is when everything started to go downhill. He spent alot of time with his secretary and her friends, and less and less time at home. In fact, he was hardly ever at home. The weekend before I left, I said, "Don't you want to celebrate? This is a big deal"! He said, "What, so I can help you pack your bags"? He had never been that cold to me. We had always been best friends. Now, he says his secretary, who no longer works in the building he's in, is very protective of him, but they've never had sex. And, he was with a woman from the office building walking downtown and someone took a picture of them. I have asked him numerous times if he has had sex with anyone else, he denies it, I've been feeling it in my gut for a long time. I am very sad, I feel like I've been lied to, I feel like I lost something very special to me. We are still friends, but it is very hard to be around him without asking him if he has cheated, and when I do, he says, "This conversation is over". I asked him to call his old secretary so I could ask her and he didn't want to do it. When he finally did, he texted her if it would be ok for me to call her and ask her if they were having sex. Nice. She texted back, "No, she's acting like she's 8"! What is that? He's not the same person. We were going over pictures of us from many years ago, and it upset me so much that I had to bring them to my house. He has asked about them once in three months, and has not requested any back. It is very difficult to know how done he is. I have told him, "It's the fact that you built this other life and didn't tell me, and then I left, and you are not upset at all".

powerfulminded on April 25, 2010:

This all stems from lack of honesty.

Related Articles